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[burstingchrysanthemums]

The Daily Task of Safeguarding My Beautiful Master's Chrysanthemum From Perverts

Part One - In which Luo Binghe sees danger to his master's chrysanthemum everywhere

Luo Binghe has had a hard life. A poor orphan who was luckily taken in by the Lord of Quiet Peak, Binghe deeply appreciated the chance that he had been given to better himself. And it was all thanks to Shizun.

Binghe sighed, thinking of Shen Qingqiu, that beautiful but clueless airhead.

Recently, Shizun had been stripped naked and tied up by a serial killer. When "The Skinner" had lasciviously run her hands all over Qingqiu's bare body, Binghe had understood for the very first time that there were people out there, bad people who would stop at nothing, who lusted after Shizun.

This realization was like a bolt out of the blue. Binghe was horrified.

Since then he had noticed something extremely alarming. There were *a lot* of people who looked at Shizun in an unchaste way. The worst part of it was that Qingqiu was blithely unaware of the danger he was in.

For example, last night! Binghe had been shocked when they had gone to a brothel. He couldn't remember much about that time since he had gotten drunk early on but he distinctly recalled that the place had been full of degenerates. And wasn't there a group of soldiers who had followed them into the brothel? The others seemed unaware of that group but Binghe saw some of them eyeing his master as they walked through the streets of the red-light district.

Shizun is just too good-looking. Even masked and hooded, he still attracted attention.

Binghe had stood guard at his master's door to make sure that no unwanted presences intruded.

To give another example, right now Shizun was in the bamboo house, happily chatting away with Shang Qinghua. Binghe knew (as did everyone) that Shang was gay. Yet Shizun thought nothing of it when Shang constantly touched him as they were talking - patting his back, putting his arm around his shoulder, touching his knee, even embracing him!

It was infuriating.

After Shang left, Qingqiu went to the library to read.

Binghe cleaned up the tea things. Shang had left a suspicious package behind. Though it was a bit sneaky and an action unworthy of Shizun's trust, Binghe nevertheless decided to open it.

%$#@ it! Binghe's instincts were right on the mark! That Shang was definitely up to no good.

Gaaah! To think that one of his master's supposed friends would give him a book of gay porn. Wait... this big jar...

Binghe ground his teeth. It was lube! What exactly did that man plan to do to Shizun?!

Shang, I will get rid of you as soon as possible, vowed Binghe. Carefully wrapping up the package again so that it looked untouched, Binghe left it in its original place.

Dreams were a powerful mental manipulation tool. That very night Binghe planted a gentle suggestion in the mind of Shang's master and that dangerous person was sent on an errand to buy wool in a far-off town.

One pervert gone, a few dozen more to get rid of. Binghe's task was never-ending.

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[burstingchrysanthemums]

Desperately Trying to Protect My Chrysanthemum From My Lovestruck Disciple: Part Eight -In which Shen Qingqiu is offered a choice: your chrysanthemum or your life

"Let's never ever talk about this ever again," said Shen Qingqiu to Shang Qinghua.

"Look on the bright side, brother," said Shang. "Now we know what we are working with."

They were back in Quiet Peak and Qingqiu was still sulking. Binghe and Ming Fan had both had to be carried back to the inn, dead drunk. Worst of all, discreet inquiries had revealed that Binghe's night had been an unmitigated disaster. Apparently, he had ignored the girl and drunk himself to a stupor, only waking up to go to Qingqiu's room where he had crouched down the door like a faithful guard dog, refusing to move.

"What are we working with?"

"He's gay," Shang stated bluntly. "Binghe has shown no sign of being interested in any of the girls that should be in his harem. Therefore, this is probably not my story."

"Not your story?"

"It's a danmei version!"

"%$$@ that! You're telling me that we both got transmigrated into cannon fodder characters in a BL story? What have I done to deserve this?"

"Bro, just stop trying to deny it. The main character is gay and has the hots for you. You will have to lie down and let him burst your chrysanthemum. It's inevitable. The more you struggle the worse you will suffer."

"How do you figure that?" Qingqiu still wanted to deny it.

"I'm gay and I've read a lot of these types of stories. Either you and he get it on or you get turned into a human stick. Trust me, I'm the author and I know how these things work."

"But..."

"Don't worry, I got you covered." Shang handed him a brown paper package and then got up to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Qingqiu was depressed.

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[burstingchrysanthemums]

Desperately Trying to Protect My Chrysanthemum From My Lovestruck Disciple: Part Seven - In which Shen Qingqiu is (partially) disrobed and fondled

A few hours later...

Qingqiu was worn out and, yawning, he almost stumbled over a figure that was inexplicably blocking the doorway.

"Binghe?!" he hissed quietly, mindful of the "no names" policy. "What are you doing here?"

His disciple looked absolutely miserable. He was crouching down on the floor in a half-sitting, half-lying down position. His hair was messy, his eyes were red, and he smelled strongly of alcohol. In short, he was a mess.

Binghe grabbed Qingqiu's hand.

"Shizun," he whimpered pitifully.

Sighing, Qingqiu helped his very drunk disciple stand, brought him inside the room, and settled him down on the bed. The girl had already left but the entire place still smelled of sex. Qingqiu opened a window, hoping to air it out a bit.

Binghe suddenly stood up and lurched towards him. Qingqiu was surprised but managed to catch Binghe in his arms before he fell down. Binghe hugged his waist.

Ah, the guy was being sticky again.

"Shizun, I want to go back to Quiet Peak," Binghe murmured. Then his hands moved lower and squeezed Qingqiu's buttocks.

"You!" Qingqiu was nearly speechless with rage. Pushing his amorous disciple away, Qingqiu tried to be gentle, knowing that the young boy was very drunk. Unfortunately, Binghe's grip was like steel and his efforts to free himself were unsuccessful.

Binghe was clinging to him like a very determined limpet. They staggered around the room in a kind of drunken dance until Qingqiu was pulled off balance and pinned to a wall.

"Mmmm." In contrast to his previously wretched look, Binghe seemed to be enjoying himself now. His hands clawed at Qingqiu's belt, which tore. Qingqiu's outer robe fell open.

Grinning triumphantly, Binghe reached inside Qingqiu's inner robe, kneading the bare flesh of Qingqiu's waist with one hand while his other hand clutched at Qingqiu's shoulder for balance.

Oh hell no! Qingqiu's tolerance had reached its limit. This time he successfully shoved Binghe away, accidentally using too much force. Binghe crashed into the opposite wall, hitting his head hard... and with a piece of Qingqiu's torn inner robe in his hand.

Could this night get any worse?

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[burstingchrysanthemums]

Chapter Seven - Never Marry a Man With Two Tintins

Volume One: Those in the Slums

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Chapter Seven

Waiting for the weather to be a bit cooler, Cheng Nuo followed Liu Guang and the three other little children carrying bamboo baskets to the market early in the morning. The bamboo basket carried by Liu Guang mostly contained herbal medicine by old Ge and the skins of wild animals that were recently hunted by Liu Guang, as well as water and rations.

The other children were carrying valuable things that they picked up from the garbage dump such as energy ores and life tools lost by the nobles. They also had fungi that they had gathered from the mountains and other similar items.

During the journey the would have to traverse two mountains and they would have to spend the night in the wild. Liu Guang didn’t want Cheng Nuo to follow him. In his eyes, females were all in need of care. They have no strength so all they would do was hinder the group’s travel speed. Cheng Nuo looked at the child's sideways look at him and knew what he was thinking. He couldn't help but pull his ear and say, “If you don't let me go, I’ll go by myself.”

Though the two of them were already used to each other’s ways, Liu Guang still jumped. He covered his ears and said: “Don’t pull my ears! D***ed-”

He saw Cheng Nuo giving him a look and swallowed the word “female.”

Cheng Nuo was scary when he was mad. Especially when he was teaching, his fierceness made Liu Guang feel scared sometimes. He was also afraid that his future wife would be deceived by another male when he was alone at home. In the end, he decided to let Cheng Nuo go with them but he made sure that Cheng Nuo’s bamboo basket contained herbal medicine.

Along the way, they passed by Bai Rui’s house. Cheng Nuo glanced at it curiously. The door was still closed.

He had been in this world for almost half a month. He saw Bai Rui twice and each time he was alone. It seemed that Bai Rui had no friends here. Bai Rui didn’t look at anyone and the expression on his face was always one of indifference.

Cheng Nuo thought that the best thing about transmigrating into this world was that his physical condition seemed to have improved. Not only is he a lot stronger, his vision and hearing are also a lot better. The children walked quite fast for about two hours but didn’t feel tired at all.

The other children didn’t know that Cheng Nuo was a "female" but Liu Guang remembered that he couldn't let his future married women become too tired. He stopped and said, “We’ll rest for a while, eat something, then continue.”

Everyone stopped and Cao Tou began untie his pants on the side of the road. Liu Guang got mad and threw a stone at him. He yelled, “Go away to pee!”

They were used to doing this. What was this about? Although Cao Tou was puzzled, he still ran away holding his pants.

Cheng Nuo also needed to relieve himself. He spoke to Liu Guang who told him to go to the other side of the woods. Liu Guang pointed at a tall tree about 10 meters away and said: “Don’t go too far. Just do it behind that tree.”

Liu Guang still felt uneasy and wanted to follow but Cheng Nuo slapped him upside the head with a smile so all he could do was watch him leave.

Cheng Nuo walked to the tree, humming a little song, and pulling out his thing. All this time the only people he saw were dirty males. Sometimes he really felt depressed. Traveling away from the town made him feel more cheerful.

He shook his thing dry and pulled his pants back up. He hadn’t turned around yet when he was slammed back and a hard and cold thing touched his chest. A hoarse voice said: “Kid, don’t shout or grandfather's knife will stab you.”

Cheng Nuo was surprised. Had he unexpectedly run into a kidnapper? Fortunately, Cheng Nuo had to his back to that evil person before so he shouldn’t have seen his body.

He took a deep breath and calmed himself, slowly turning away, hiding the fear and panic in his eyes and making himself appear calm and harmless.

If you encounter a robber, too much fear and tension will make the other person more nervous.

The man with a knife was about thirty years old, tall and like a bamboo pole. He was standing next to a short man who was holding a pair of heavy maces in his hand.

(TN: 锏 - “jian” mace. It’s an ancient weapon, pair of blunt rods with handles.)

Liu Guang said that there were a lot of thieves in this area. Cheng Nuo actually met one! But his tattered clothes made him look very poor. What kind of robber was this?

The short man quickly walked over to them and slowly moved his hands over Cheng Nuo's body. At first, Cheng Nuo let him search but then his expression changed as he was touched and pinched.  It was like... sexual harassment!

The man the a knife said: “Zhu Liu, are you indulging in your cheap habit again?”

Zhu Liu laughed and said: "Brother Wu, you don't know it, but such a young male butt isn’t worse than a female’s. Look at him, isn’t he good looking? Try it and you’ll get addicted to the feeling. That redhead there looks good, too. I’ll take him then you can have him later.”

When Cheng Nuo heard this, his whole body felt cold. This kind of desire for children … these men are worse than beasts! He really wanted to kick this Zhu Liu but he knew that his young boy’s body was too weak to fight adult men with weapons. He tried to endure it.

Shang Wu said scornfully: “I have no interest in a male’s buttocks. Kill him after you play with him. I see that the animal hides and herbal medicine in the red-haired kid’s basket are worth a little money and his qualification seem good. You can take him up the mountain since the leader needs errand boys.”

When he spoke, his sharp, beady eyes stared at Cheng Nuo, as if he was ready to stab Cheng Nuo if he shouted. Cold sweat poured down Cheng Nuo’s back. Compared to these people, Liu Guang’s methods were really childlike.

Zhu Liu sighed: “You’re really boring. The females on the mountain are too old and look ugly. I didn't touch them. You don't know that males are also fun.”

Liu Guang was getting impatient. He shouted, “Cheng Nuo, are you all right?”

Cheng Nuo looked at the knife on his chest and sighed. He knew that Liu Guang had a bit of skill, but in front of these two bandits are armed with weapons who might be strong … after all, Liu Guang was only a ten-year-old child ...

Shang Wu tapped him in the chest with the knife, his face gloomy, and said: “Say something, tell him to come.”

Cheng Nuo shouted as calmly as possible: “Come quick, I forgot to bring toilet paper. Little Guang, bring me some.”

He hoped that Liu Guang would be able to perceive that something was wrong and run away with the children. He never called him “Little Guang” and the other person couldn’t bring him any toilet paper.

Liu Guang could run faster than a rabbit. The two men probably wouldn’t be able to catch him.

As for him, he would fight. Even if he died, he must take these two with him to the grave, especially that Zhu Liu!

You want to burst my chrysanthemum?! This one will chop off your bird first!

Cheng Nuo ground his teeth.

Who knew that Liu Guang would come over, muttering, “How troublesome, can’t you just wipe it off with a stone?”

Cheng Nuo almost fainted.

Liu Guang saw two people walk out from behind the tree. He was obviously shocked and a little confused. Zhu Liu put his weapons at Liu Guang’s neck and said, “Don’t move or you’ll die by my mace.”

Zhu Liu forced Liu Guang to stand next to Cheng Nuo. He was even more satisfied now. The red-haired child looked better than the dark-haired one but he is too young. He estimated that if he played with the child a few times, the kid would get done to death. It’s better to play with the black-haired one. Zhu Liu smiled and said: “Well, Brother Wu, let me play with the bigger one …”

Cheng Nuo was angry to the extreme. He noticed that Liu Guang was stretching his hand out so Cheng Nuo shook his hands several times, indicating that Liu Guang shouldn’t be afraid. Shang Wu said that they would take him with them to be an errand boy, therefore Liu Guang should be safe.

Shang Wu looked at Zhu Liu leering at the boys then laughed, “Please don’t do something perverted now. We should wait until we’ve finished the others …”

Zhu Liu cursed and turned his head, “What about the others?”

Suddenly, Liu Guang kicked Zhu Liu’s wrist that was holding the knife. Then Liu Guang rammed into Zhu Liu, knocking him back a few steps.

Cheng Nuo was too shocked to respond. Liu Guang grabbed him and dragged him to the side.

Shang Wu’s eyes widened. He wasn’t angry and even smiled a bit. Sure enough, he had an eye for talent. The red-haired boy was quite skilled and he was also very brave. He sheathed his knife and quickly gave chase.

The booty he already had in his hands got away. Zhu Liu was angry enough to jump a couple of feet high. He also put his maces away and gave chase. He decided that he would peel off the red-haired boy’s skin first then fuck the dark-haired boy.

They had only run a few meters away when a big rope net suddenly appeared in front of Shang Wu. Cao Tou and the other three had been hiding behind a tree and suddenly pulled the net up. Shang Wu was suspended in mid-air. Shang Wu responded very quickly and immediately took out a long knife to try to cut the rope. But would Liu Guang just let him do that? Liu Guang grabbed a stone the size of a washbasin and struck Shang Wu’s head with it. Cao Tou and the others others also ran out with sticks and hit the trapped Shang Wu.

Zhu Liu was shocked at what happened but he wasn’t afraid of these children. He ran forward, shouting. Liu Guang drew back his leg and then kicked out, aiming at Zhu Liu’s neck. He was very strong. His kick actually landed and Zhu Liu fell to the ground, his weapons dropping from his hands.

Liu Guang narrowed his eyes and smirked at Zhu Liu. His blue eyes flashed with menace.

Cheng Nuo didn't have time to react to the sudden changes in his circumstances and just stood there, stunned.

Zhu Liu tried to get up but Liu Guang stepped on his hand. The bandit screamed but Liu Guang simply look at him with an indifferent expression on his face and put a bit more strength on his foot. Death is the fate that awaits those who dare to mess with him! He is Liu Guang, the infamous gang leader!

Shang Wu had been beaten up by the kids until blood flowed down from his forehead. It wasn’t clear whether he was alive or dead. Chang Chun picked up the pair of maces and handed them to Liu Guang: “Big brother Guang, here.”

These children are older than Liu Guang but they always call respectfully call Liu Guang “Big brother Guang.” Cheng Nuo used to think that this was very funny whenever he heard it but now he can’t laugh anymore. Liu Guang’s strange and fierce expression frightened him.

It’s not just Liu Guang. Even Cao Tou, who usually seemed weak and shy, was looking expectantly at Liu Guang with shining eyes, obviously looking forward to his next performance.

Cheng Nuo realized that although he thought he had adapted to this world, he was still far from truly accepting it.

The weapons were very heavy but Liu Guang wielded them effortlessly.

He raised the maces high then slammed them on Zhu Liu’s back. He stepped on Zhu Liu’s back and smirked, saying: “Who did you say you were going to play with?”

********

Translator’s Notes:

I was not expecting that! Wow! Our MC actually said (silently) “burst my chrysanthemum“ hahahahaha I laughed so much!

I still don’t have an editor so please do let me know if there are any errors.

Thanks for reading. The next three chapters have now been released! Triple release! I moved to a new website, just click on the “next chapter” link to go there.

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[burstingchrysanthemums]

Chapter Six - Never Marry a Man With Two Tintins

Volume One: Those in the Slums

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Chapter Six

In the midst of various terrifying delusions, the muddleheaded Cheng Nuo finally cheered up as night arrived..

When he first transmigrated, he had wondered what his purpose for coming here was. Perhaps he was here to save the world or become OP and form a harem? But these dreams were now shattered.

Thinking of how in the future he could only see those gay old men, and that he himself was regarded as a ****ing female, Cheng Nuo had the urge to cry.

Cheng Nuo used dog’s tail grass and twine to make a small curvy human figure. He held it in his hand and looked at it for a long time, crying inside, then he hung it upright on the earthen wall.

I might never see a soft and cute girl ever again, is what he thought as he looked at this small grass figure wistfully.

However after he went to the toilet, when he got back he found that the grass figure had been thrown into the fire by Liu Guang.

He looked at the grass figure who was becoming ashes in the fire and couldn't help but sigh, as if he was looking at all of the cute girls heartlessly leaving. He had to admit that in the future he would be more acquainted with Rosie Palmer and her five sisters.

(TN: “Rosie Palmer” - 五指姑娘 - lit. five finger girl. Meaning he will have to get intimate … with his own hand.)

No matter how wonderful the setting of this world is, he is still a man, a male creature! A real man!

Suddenly, he thought of something. Cheng Nuo asked: “Last night, where did you sleep?” Liu Guang had knocked him unconscious and the bed was very small.

Liu Guang awkwardly pointed to the benches. He went to borrow two benches, pushed them together, and slept on them. He was too embarrassed to sleep with his future wife and of course he couldn’t let his unconcious future wife sleep on the bench.

Cheng Nuo realized that the ten-year-old kid was at a sensitive age. He was curious about the opposite sex but avoided contact with them as though they were a venomous scorpion … and this fraud actually became the opposite sex!

Therefore, although he saw Liu Guang as just a little boy, they still can’t sleep together.

He tried to smile: “Well, I��ll sleep on the bench tonight.”

“How can that be?!” Liu Guang's emerald eyes widened. “The female should be the one who sleeps on the bed!”

Hearing these words, Cheng Nuo was unable to keep calm. There was no way to vent his anger so finally he just lay down on the bed, staring at the wall. The moon's light shone through a narrow window into the house, leaving a strip of silver on the uneven floor. The house wasn’t dark inside. Liu Guang lay down on the bench and soon fell asleep but Cheng Nuo tossed and turned restlessly.

The two benches were too narrow so after a while Liu Guang rolled over in his sleep.

“Bang!”

The sound of Liu Guang falling made Cheng Nuo jump. He sat up and saw that Liu Guang hadn’t opened his eyes but his hand fumbled until he found the benches then climbed up and lay down to sleep again.

Cheng Nuo couldn’t help but laugh, this is a very mysterious way of sleeping! After a while, Liu Guang fell again with a solid thumping sound. Cheng Nuo really couldn’t stand by idly and watch anymore so he walked over to him.

He suddenly realized something: if he really did start to think of himself in the same way that Liu Guang did, would he really become a ****ing female? Maybe the men in this world can give birth? He might have to give birth! He knows that if he woke up Liu Guang, that child wouldn’t agree to sleep on the bed so he simply picked him up.

When he picked Liu Guang up, he was stunned. This child was stubborn and fierce, not to mention that he was foul-mouthed, but his thin body was really light. Now that he lay quietly in Cheng Nuo’s arms, he looked quite young and innocent in his sleep, really a cute little boy.

Cheng Nuo couldn’t help but make his actions very gentle. He put Liu Guang down on the bed then lay down on the outer edge so that he could act as a guardrail.

Unfortunately, Liu Guang’s sleeping posture was really bad. Cheng Nuo thought that he probably used to fall off the bed frequently. He had to endure Liu Guang using him like a pillow. Liu Guang’s arms and legs wrapped around Cheng Nuo. The boy’s body temperature was higher than his which, in this kind of weather, was simply a catastrophe. Cheng Nuo didn't know when he was finally able to fall asleep. His dreams were also uncomfortable.

The next morning, Liu Guang was extremely embarrassed. He blushed as red as a monkey's buttocks. He stammered: “How, how, am I here?”

Cheng Nuo was suddenly in a good mood. He smiled, revealing a pair of tiger teeth: “Hmm, why don’t you guess?”

Liu Guang stared doubtfully at him, his eyes wide, then jumped out of bed as though someone had lit a fire under him. He ran out wearing his straw sandals.

Cheng Nuo fell down laughing. In this ****ing world without females, he had to find his own fun. He made up his mind to create a good relationship with Liu Guang. What the child called “future wife” was mostly something he learned from others. They both had to gradually accept their differences.

As for the two little birds, well, he never saw it. Does that thing really exist?

Cheng Nuo stretched then rinsed his mouth with salt water and washed his face. Liu Guang didn’t have anything to wipe his face with here so Cheng Nuo cut out a large piece from his cotton T-shirt to use as a towel temporarily. There was no toothbrush or toothpaste. He would have to find alternatives. There were also other basic daily necessities he needed and he also wanted to find some basic foods.

Seeing that Liu Guang had began preparing the fire in the stove, Cheng Nuo quickly took over the task and urged Liu Guang to clean himself.

The blush on Liu Guang's face had faded. He said impatiently: “Didn’t I wash the the day before? It’s too troublesome.”

Blue veins appeared in Cheng Nuo's forehead and he realized that apart from Bai Rui, most people weren’t too keen on hygiene. He patiently explained the importance of washing the face and brushing the teeth. He was quite curious about Bai Rui’s origins. How come he doesn’t look like a slum dweller?

Liu Guang reluctantly went and sloppily dipped his hands in the water and rubbed his eyes. His manner was very perfunctory. Cheng Nuo had to go over to him and wash his face with that piece of cotton cloth. He grabbed Liu Guang by the shoulder and rubbed his face again and again. Then he put Liu Guang hands in the water and washed them. He said: “This is clean.”

His hands were neither light nor heavy. It felt very comfortable and Liu Guang did not resist.

Liu Guang looked at those beautiful, clean hands that were bigger than his, holding his hands. Then he looked up and saw two rows of white teeth as Cheng Nuo smiled dazzlingly. His eyes were bright.

Liu Guang couldn’t help but blush. He thought that in the future, even though his future wife was troublesome, it would still be good.

Over the next few days, Cheng Nuo worked hard to adapt to life in this world. He learned to cook simple food, identify edible wild plants, and so on. To his surprise, he found out that the mountain of garbage nearby was actually sent here via the city’s spatial magic.

This world’s setting is really ****ed up!

Many of the residents in the slums picked up daily necessities, old clothes, and other discarded items from those rubbish heaps. Liu Guang bitterly pointed at the trash: “I heard from the old people that this place wasn’t always like this. Now the land is empty of spiritual power. Sooner or later, I will eliminate those city lords!”

Cheng Nuo was shocked by the hatred in his tone. The social system here is somewhat similar to that of a slave society. The city lords and noble families have absolute rights as rulers.

Although it was unfair, he didn’t want Liu Guang to have such dangerous thoughts. Throughout the history of the Chinese Empire, many radicals failed to change society. He still wanted Liu Guang to live happily like a normal child.

During the past few days, Liu Guang took care of him. Cheng Nuo unconsciously treated Liu Guang like a younger brother. However, he also understood that although he felt that this world’s ways were not correct, it is his views that are not appropriate in this world. He must learn to accept the rules of this world.

Cheng Nuo came to recognize the various children who often came to Liu Guang. One of the little boys, called Cao Tou, was fond of books even though he was illiterate. He had hidden dozens of old books that were thrown away in the garbage dumps. Most of the inhabitants of this world were illiterate. The poor could only learn to read if they joined one of the city lords or local nobles’ factions.

Cheng Nuo was overjoyed and borrowed several books from him. After he opened a book, he was extremely happy. The characters in the book were clearly traditional Chinese characters. Cheng Nuo had studied classical Chinese calligraphy during his elementary and junior high school years. He didn’t study traditional Chinese in high school but he was still quite familiar with this type of writing.

(TN: Currently, Simplified Chinese characters are favored in mainland China. Therefore, not everyone can read Traditional Chinese characters. Cheng Nuo is explaining here that he can read it.)

Cheng Nuo used a stick to write on the ground to teach Liu Guang some of the simplest words. The boy is undeniably strong but having only brawn with no brains is not acceptable. Reading more books is always good.

Cao Tou, Chang Chun, and the other kids all crowded around them. Liu Guang growled: “Why are you so noisy? My wi- Cheng Nuo is teaching me, why are you here for?”

Cheng Nuo was unaware that he was laughing. He made the boys sit on a some stones in lieu of a bench then, using a piece of wood as a blackboard and a burnt stick as chalk, taught them a few characters. He looked at the row of dirty little faces, crying inside a little. He wondered if he had transmigrated in order to become a village teacher and popularize basic education for the masses.

Liu Guang’s head was the lowest among the children. Sitting in the middle, his clean and handsome face was particularly eye-catching. Cheng Nuo couldn’t help but laugh.

Pinyin, of course, cannot be taught. In case someone found out about it, how could he explain? Cheng Nuo taught them the 123s and their names. He deliberately wrote Liu Guang's name a lot of times and laughed: “It's a good word, it means light.” He pointed at the sun.

Liu Guang looked at Cheng Nuo in a daze. When his future wife smiled, his face seemed to glow. These characters were indeed good characters.

Cheng Nuo wrote his own name on the wooden board: “This is Cheng. This is Nuo. It means a promise worth one thousand in gold. In other words, a promise that must be kept.” The two characters were more complicated, but Liu Guang looked at them carefully and almost immediately remembered how to write them.

Cheng Nuo clapped his hands to end the teaching session. It’s not good to teach too much on the first day. It’s necessary to practice and review the day’s lesson.

However, it was still early. Cheng Nuo casually asked these children what their goals were. They didn’t know what he meant by “goals” so he had to explain that he wanted to know what they wanted to do or what they kind of person they wanted to become.

Cao Tou whispered: “I want to be a book-writer.”

Cheng Nuo quickly encouraged him to do a good job. This was a lofty and great dream for a child from the slums whose access to education was blocked.

However, Cao Tou’s next, terrifying sentence shocked him: “I want to sell books for a lot of money then pick up a pretty female.”

“...”

As for Chang Chun, he scratched his messy hair and said: “I want to become a thief and snatch a beautiful female.”

“...”

A snaggle-toothed boy named Ming Shan smiled and said: “I want to become a rich businessman and then raise a group of beautiful females.”

“...”

Cheng Nuo was going crazy. What's going on here? What kind of education do young children here get?! How important is it for a man to take another man as a wife?

It was Liu Guang's turn. He said: “I want to the most powerful leader of a gang of thieves.”

There was no need to snatch one since he already had a wife. He glanced at Cheng Nuo.

********

Translator’s Notes:

I think our protagonist decided to mother all of the kids in the slums. What do you think.

Thanks for reading. Please leave a comment if you can since I love comments. I am currently working alone on this. If you spot an error, I would appreciate it if you could tell me so I can fix it. #LackingAnEditor

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[burstingchrysanthemums]

Chapter Five - Never Marry a Man With Two Tintins

Volume One: Those in the Slums

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Chapter Five

Although this brat’s words were enough to make people’s skin be covered in goosebumps, looking at Liu Guang’s fiery red hair, Cheng Nuo wisely chose to restrain himself from reacting.

After all of this exertion, Cheng Nuo felt so hungry that it was as though his insides were hollow, with his front almost sticking to his back.

Liu Guang skillfully lit the fire in the stove, threw a few large pieces of meat in a worn-out cauldron, then added water and a bit of salt. The fire was dazzling. From time to time, Liu Guang added more firewood. The aroma of cooking meat quickly filled the air.

Cheng Nuo paid close attention to the steps needed to make a fire. He had suddenly become an inhabitant of a primitive world but he didn’t know how to do anything. He felt the urge to burst into tears.

The aroma soon attracted several eleven to twelve-year-old skinny children who were covered in dirt. They stood some distance away, swallowing their saliva and not daring to come closer. Liu Guang gave them a look. He wanted to eat alone with his future wife.

He impatiently pointed to Cheng Nuo beside him: “This is Cheng Nuo, my man. If anyone dares to touch him, don’t blame me for breaking your leg. Chang Chun, take some and divide it among you.”

The corners of Cheng Nuo’s mouth twitched a few times. This little fellow Liu Guang was half a head shorter than these children but he arrogant manner was overwhelming. He was like a gangster introducing the younger members of a gang to a younger brother.

He remembered Chang Chun’s voice. He was the kid who had previously suggested that he could be turned into a bowl of food.

Chang Chun carefully looked at Cheng Nuo and recognized his face. He smiled, flashing a row of white teeth, then the group of children ran away with the raw meat.

The meat was finally cooked. Liu Guang wasn’t afraid of its heat. He grabbed a thigh piece and gave it to Cheng Nuo. Cheng Nuo gingerly took it and quickly dropped it into a bowl. Liu Guang took a leg piece for himself and started gnawing on it.

The chi locust's meat tasted a bit like beef. The texture was tough and stringy, plus it was only seasoned with salt. However, the meat smelled very good so when Cheng Nuo started eating, he unconsciously kept pace with Liu Guang. Both of ate until their hands and mouths were covered with grease. Soon only half of the meat was left in the cauldron.

Cheng Nuo rubbed his bulging stomach. He had eaten the leg and nearly one-fourth of a kilo of meat. Liu Guang was smaller than him but Cheng Nuo estimated that he had eaten almost one and half kilos of meat. But they were just children. Eating that much meat is obviously not healthy and digesting it will be difficult.

Cheng Nuo remembered seeing a field along the way. He asked Liu Guang: “Do you grow grain?”

“No,” Liu Guang said. “Not a lot of people farm here. It's better to kill wild animals and sell it in town.”

According to Liu Gang, the nearest town was a hundred miles away. Things can be sold there and there is also trade with caravans. There are a lot of trade routes but there are also many bandits.

Cheng Nuo sighed. There were a lot of wild vegetables beside the fields. He had to learn how to distinguish between what is edible and what isn’t. Liu Guang had a small shed beside his thatched hut but there was nothing in it. Liu Guang was clearly just a child who didn’t know how to plan ahead. He’s a typical child who only knows how to eat until he’s full.

Liu Guang threw two pieces of meat in the bowl and looked at Cheng Nuo: “I’ll go give this to the Ge family.”

“I'll go, too.” Cheng Nuo hurriedly stood up. The medicine really worked. After he applied it, the bruises on his legs didn’t hurt anymore and it was easier to move.

Experts exist even in the common folk, there was indeed a lot of truth in this saying.

Seeing that Cheng Nuo wanted to learn how to live here, Liu Guang felt happy. He took the time to tell Cheng Nuo about the people who live in the nearby houses and character of those people, and so on. Unfortunately, these shabby houses and people’s faces and clothes were too similar so Cheng Nuo only managed to remember a few names. He still hasn’t got a good idea of the layout of this place.

At the Ge family’s house, the two men in yard were drying herbs. One of them was the elderly person who previously gave Liu Guang the medicine while the other was a younger man. Their behavior was very intimate and they laughed together from time to time.

Cheng Nuo thought it was weird but he didn't think much about it. Liu Guang had already swung the door open.

Liu Guang held the bowl up in his hand and shouted, “This is for you, Master Ge. I fought the chi locust today.”

The younger one smiled: “Wife, give the boy a steamed bun from the kitchen.”

The old man smiled and came over to take the bowl from Liu Guang. He didn’t see Cheng Nuo until he came peered over the fence. He asked: “Who is this?”

Liu Guang said impatiently: “This is Cheng Nuo. I picked him up. The older you get, the more talkative you become.”

Cheng Nuo ignored Liu Guang's disrespectful words because he felt like he had been struck by lightning. The old man called another old man his wife ...

He confirmed that his hearing was working fine. He took looked more closely and confirmed that both men were really men.

Cheng Nuo bit his lips and didn’t ask any questions but his heart sank. He had a bad feeling about this. Liu Guang had called that old man “Master Ge” and this was “Ge family’s” house ...

Liu Guang walked away with the steamed bread. Cheng Nuo followed him mechanically, his eyes were blank as though he was sleepwalking.

He waited until they had returned to the house then Cheng Nuo suddenly stopped and pulled Liu Guang’s arm. He asked: “Why did you call me your future wife?”

Liu Guang was stunned. Scratching his head, he said: “Of course, because you are a female.” And you look very pleasing to the eye.

“... My body is different from yours?” Cheng Nuo asked woodenly. ****! Don’t say that there’s no women in this world. Men are weak! What kind of bulls**t is this?

Liu Guang’s face turned red with anger. “Do you have to ask? How can you be so shameless?!”

Cheng Nuo picked up a tree branch and quickly drew a female figure on the ground. Liu Guang looked at it curiously: “You drew a gourd?”

“...” Cheng Nuo nearly coughed up blood. He added eyes and a nose to the face. Pointing at the voluptuous figure, he asked: “Is there this type of person here?”

Liu Guang stared at him in dismay and looked disdainfully at the drawing: “Who would look like that? A monster?”

Cheng Nuo’s knees buckled and he fell down on the ground, panting. His vision turned dark.

Not only did he transmigrate into a world where human life was worth nothing, it was also a world where there are no females! This isn’t like falling into a deep pit, it’s falling down into an active volcano’s crater!

How did he become a female when he transmigrated? Did his chromosomes change from XY to XX or were his male hormones change into female hormones?

Moreover, what’s with this gay setting? Calling a male “female”!

Liu Guang looked worriedly at Cheng Nuo’s pale face: “What happened to you?”

Cheng Nuo suddenly stood up and grabbed Liu Guang's thin arms, walking him towards the house. He felt an incredible burst of strength. Liu Guang thought it was strange but he offered no resistance.

Inside the house, Cheng Nuo started to take off Liu Guang’s clothes, muttering: “I want to see what a male looks like!”

Liu Guang was too shocked to react. Cheng Nuo pulled down his trousers. Liu Guang wasn’t wearing any underwear and his two thin legs were immediately exposed to Cheng Nuo.

Time seemed to stand still. Cheng Nuo’s hands that were still on Liu Guang’s pants stiffened. His mouth fell open wide enough to stuff an ostrich egg in it and his ears were buzzing.

His mind was flooded with crazy thoughts: What the ****! What the ****! I saw two birds! This isn’t the right shape! I transmigrated into a freakish, monstrous, gay world! What about the sweet and soft sisters ...

Liu Guang was so furious that smoke was almost coming out of his ears. He desperately wanted to pull his pants up.

Cheng Nuo’s hands moved faster than his brain. He wanted to make sure that it was real and not a hallucination.

However, his hands hadn’t touched yet when Liu Guang finally reacted. A hand chopped down and Cheng Nuo fell.

Liu Guang held on to this teetering trousers with one hand and reflexively caught Cheng Nuo with the other. His eyes burned with anger. After a long time he gritted his teeth then shouted: “Shameless female!”

When Cheng Nuo woke up, he found herself lying on Liu Guang’s bed. It was already the next morning.

He was heartbroken and depressed. Mournfully, he wished he could just bash his head against a wall. He wanted to find the person responsible for his transmigration and grab him by the neck then shake him. What did he do wrong that he was condemned to live in this disastrous place?

He sensed the malice of the entire world.

Liu Guang opened the door and came in, holding a bowl of rice porridge. Seeing that Cheng Nuo was awake, he put the bowl on he table and said, with a dark expression on his face: “Get up and eat.”

Cheng Nuo stared roof, saying dully: “Liu Guang, don’t you dribble on yourself when you pee?”

“...Why do you always ask these strange questions?!” The boy’s angry roar shook the rafters, making dust fall from the roof.

Then Cheng Nuo got up. His neck still hurt a lot.

He sat on the bed, legs crossed. Before, he had taken Liu Guang’s statement that he was being raised as his future wife as a joke but now he realized that Liu Guang was serious.

It’s probable that the number of birds determines whether a person is male or female, ****ing awesome!

Liu Guang looked at Cheng Nuo, irritated but worried. He hated males who hit females, but Cheng Nuo suddenly grabbed his pants and he couldn’t do anything about it.

Ah, could it be that those females who were raised to be wives really didn’t know the difference between males and females? The people who had been keeping Cheng Nuo captive must not have taught him anything. This thought was pleasing to Liu Guang.

Ge’s wife had run away from one of those noble houses. Though infertile, when he met the young Ge, he created a good home for the two of them and he did not look for a second husband. These things Liu Guang knew quite well because old man Ge often sat beneath a tree to boast to the bachelors there. He had heard this story a thousand times so he knew it by heart.

He pushed the bowl of porridge toward Cheng Nuo and softened his tone of voice: “Eat it. If there’s something you don’t understand, just ask me. I definitely won’t hit you again.”

Cheng Nuo lifted the bowl of porridge and ate it. Anyway, this was the place where the god of transmigration threw him. What else could he do?

Suddenly, he thought of a terrible problem and he almost dropped the bowl in his hands. He stared blankly at Liu Guang and asked in a trembling voice: “Then where … where do children come from?’

Liu Guang was dumbfounded: “Of course they’re born from females! How could you not know this?’

Cheng Nuo’s vision turned dark.

****! Where do babies come from? Chrysanthemum?! This is extremely hardcore!

********

Translator’s Notes:

Ahahaha! That world is weird and crazy, but I like it. ;)

Thanks for reading and please leave a comment if you can. Also, I would appreciate it if you could let me know if there are any errors.

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[burstingchrysanthemums]

Chapter Four - Never Marry a Man With Two Tintins

Volume One: Those in the Slums

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Chapter Four

While Liu Guang was sulking on one side, Cheng Nuo had already finished washing himself.

Cheng Nuo knew that he shouldn’t overdo it and laughed: “Liu Guang, wash your neck and face well.”

Liu Guang was afraid that he would come help scrub. He heard Cheng Nuo go back to the shore and put on his clothes. He said in a somewhat gloomy tone: “Put my clothes near the shore then turn your back.”

It was summer so the clothes were already dry. Cheng Nuo smiled and put Liu Guang's clothes on the stones on the shore of the river. He turned his back and looked and the trees and fields in the distance.

The sky in this area was filled with grayish hues. Even the trees were not very green and the crops in the fields looked sparse and small. In the distance, the vague shapes of brown hills could be seen.

Cheng Nuo was puzzled. Based on this scenery, this seems to be an ancient time. This place is a slum. How could there be so much garbage?

Liu Guang was afraid that he would turn around so he put his clothes on quite fast. He combed his hair a few times with his fingers and said: “Okay, you can turn around now.”

Cheng Nuo turned around and saw a clean Liu Guang. ****! Are all the children in this world so beautiful and cute?

(TN: It sounded weird so I omitted  嘴巴都长大了 - he has a grown-up mouth. Probably an idiom meaning he talks tough like a grown-up though he is just a cute little boy.)

Perhaps because he had just bathed but Liu Guang’s dazzling red hair looked a lot softer and his green eyes with slightly droopy corners were clear like high quality jade. His nose straight and refined. His red lips were thin with impatience while his moist wheat-colored skin looked very delicate and healthy.

Seeing that Cheng Nuo was staring at him, Liu Guang felt uneasy and rolled his eyes at him: “What are you looking at?”

Cheng Nuo grinned happily, holding his chin in his hand: “Liu Guang is a handsome boy. You clean up nicely.”

Liu Guang vaguely realized that the other person was complimenting his looks. If someone else had said it, he would probably have hit them with his first. But when he heard Cheng Nuo say this, his heart felt a little joyful. He snorted: “What the use of looking good? For a male, strength is the most important thing!”

Cheng Nuo laughed and nodded: “That's right.”

The river was crystal clear but he couldn’t see any fish. It looks like catching fish isn’t practical. Cheng Nuo was disappointed.

He was putting his clothes in the bamboo basket when Liu Guang suddenly frowned and leaned forward closer. He whispered: “There are movements in the woods. Come on, I’ll carry you up a tree.”

Cheng Nuo perked up his ears and listened carefully to the sound of approaching beasts. Liu Guang carried him on his back as he went to a tall tree whose trunk was the thickness of a washbasin. The two of them hid in the thick foliage.

There was a commotion in the grass and a lightning-fast figure came running towards them, followed by nearly a dozen animals the size of a of a greyhound.

Liu Guang took the machete he had brought in his hand. Frowning, he whispered: “It’s that kid Bai Rui! How could he get chased by so many chi locusts?”

Although the chi locusts are ferocious, it is not a social animal. If they were not disturbed during their breeding period, they will not attack casually. How could Bai Rui attract so many of them? The chi locust's sense of smell is very sensitive and and they can climb trees …

Cheng Nuo discovered his vision was better in this world. Although they were still tens of meters away, he could already see those jumping insects’ faces. The chi locusts had double rows of teeth and their canine teeth were exposed. They looked much uglier and fiercer than dogs.

He looked worriedly at Bai Rui. The silver-haired child movements were quick and relaxed. His expression was calm. Those chi locusts were always separated from him by a distance of about three meters, as if he deliberately kept this distance from them.

Bai Rui was weilding a transparent blue short sword. He suddenly slowed down and a chi locust rushed towards his back. Cheng Nuo was nervous and couldn’t  help but cry out: “Be careful!”

Bai Rui seemed to have eyes on the back of his head. As the chi locust flew up towards his back, Bai Rui stabbed his sword upwards into its abdomen. When he pulled the sword out, a bloody mist came with it but the expression on his face didn’t change. The material that his short sword was made of was unusual since it didn’t retain even the slightest hint on blood on its blade.

The chi locust made a shrill cry then fell to the ground. The locusts behind it roared angrily and rushed towards Bair Rui. The locusts could jump nearly two meters high!

Bai Rui intended to use these animals to practice his skills. He hadn’t expected that there would be other people there. He glanced up indifferently and saw a corner of their clothing.

He didn’t want to reveal his strength in the presence of outsiders, not to mention the fact that he rarely interacted with other people. He leapt up into a tree branch in the opposite direction, trying to draw the locusts away.

However, Cheng Nuo had just made a sound and alerted the locusts to his presence. A few of them immediately used their sharp claws to climb up the tree to attack Cheng Nuo and Liu Guang. The others continued to surround Bai Rui.

Bai Rui stopped, jumped on top of a tall rock then kicked a chi locust down to the ground.

Liu Guang grunted and said to Cheng Nuo: “Trouble!”

He didn’t fear these chi locusts and he saw that Bai Rui’s skill was comparable to his, but he was worried about his future wife.

Liu Guang put the machete’s handle between his teeth then, holding on to a branch, kicked his legs down hard, kicking a locust down. Jumping down on to the body of a locust., he used his machete to cut its vulnerable point - its throat.

Seeing this bloody battle scene at close quarters, Cheng Nuo's blood burned. He clung tightly to the tree with trembling hands, extremely excited. He suddenly realized that to survive in this strange world, he had to become stronger! The strength of these two children were far beyond his expectations. If they are this powerful, then what must the adults be like?

When he thought about his situation when he first woke up, he broke into a cold sweat. It seems that at that time, Liu Guang’s behavior was actually normal in this world ...

Although Liu Guang's machete was sharp, it’s obviously far less powerful than Bai Rui’s weapon. After stabbing it seven or eight times, it became blunt. A chi locust fell down with a shrill cry, hitting two of the locusts below it.

Liu Guang jumped on its head and leapt up, hooking up the tree trunk and landing softly beside Cheng Nuo. He looked annoyed at the blunt machete and looked darkly at the blue transparent sword in Bai Rui's hand. If he had such a weapon, his kills wouldn’t be less than Bai Rui’s. In just a short time, Bai Rui had already killed two more.

If they were outside, he wouldn’t think twice about taking it for his own use but, to ensure their own survival, the people in the slums don’t mess with other local residents.

He looked at Cheng Nuo's slightly flushed cheek and mumbled: “Troublesome, timid female.”

Cheng Nuo looked at the disdain expression on Liu Guang's face, speechless. They were so close he could smell the pungent scent of blood on Liu Guang’s body. In fact, any normal civilian from any country on Earth probably wouldn’t be able to easily adapt to this type of bloody scene the first time they saw it. He wasn’t really afraid but the sight of those teeth dripping with blood and saliva would naturally make a person feel nervous.

A chi locust was climbing up again, its sharp claws scratching at the bark of the tree. His machete was blunted and even though he could go down to search for a weapon, Lui Guang couldn’t run away and leave his future wife behind. He stood in front of Cheng Nuo like a wolf and broke off a branch as thick as his arm. When a chi locust climbed up, he knocked it down with the branch.

Bai Rui neatly and efficiently killed another one.

The remaining chi locusts finally realized that they were not strong enough to defeat these enemies. After wailing in unison, they jumped into the bushes and disappeared. Only the bodies of five or six chi locusts were left behind.

Now that the surrounding had finally become quiet, Cheng Nuo was gasping for breath because he was so nervous that he had almost forgotten to breathe. Like an idiot, he didn’t even fight back and hid behind a kid. Once he realized what had happened, he felt very upset.

Bai Rui slowly sheathed his short sword. He didn’t look at Liu Guang and Cheng Nuo a look as he jumped down from the rock, ready to leave. His hair flashed silver in the light, quite eye-catching.

Cheng Nuo looked at him with a bit of admiration. Although the child was arrogant, he obviously had the skills to back it up. Cheng Nuo could also tell that Liu Guang fought based on experience and instinct while Bai Rui seemed to have been trained in some martial arts system. His every move was very graceful.

He was just letting his imagination run wild but the eagle-eyed Liu Guang noticed him watching the other boy and suddenly felt angry.

Females appreciate it when males acquire loot. Contrary to what he expected, his future wife was actually looking at others.

Liu Guang narrowed his eyes and shouted: “Hey Bai! Aren’t you going to take away your spoils?”

The chi locust's hide can be sold for some energy coins in the market and the meat can be eaten even though its tough.

Bai Rui paused and said: “I don't want to. If you want it, you can have it.”

Liu Guang's eyes darkened and he snorted coldly. When this boy surnamed Bai left this place, then he wouldn’t be considered a resident anymore. He will kill that silver-haired boy sooner or later!

Cheng Nuo looked at the furious expression on Liu Guang’s face. He knew that Bai Rui’s words had hurt Liu Guang’s self-esteem. No matter how he looked at it, Cheng Nuo knew that he and Liu Guang stood together so he quickly tried to comfort him: “Liu Guang is very powerful! Thank you for protecting me.”

He said it sincerely but Liu Guang was still somewhat angry. Protecting the female was the male’s responsibility. He glanced at Cheng Nuo and jumped down the branch. He grabbed the hind leg of the chi locust he had killed and dragged it to the water’s edge. He looked for a stone to sharpen his machete to peel of its hide.

When Cheng Nuo was a child, he liked to climb trees. He awkwardly climbed down the tree with the bamboo basket on his back and rushed to help Liu Guang.

Liu Guang's anger hadn’t subsided. He commanded Cheng Nuo to hold the two hind legs as he peeled off the hide. Although his actions were a bit clumsy, he managed to peel it off completely.

Before they walked here Cheng Nuo had eaten half of a steamed bun. His stomach had been rumbling and feeling empty for quite a long time.

Liu Guang was familiar with this sound, but cooking the meat here might attract more chi locusts. He took the clothes off the basket and made Cheng Nuo hold them then he cut the meat into pieces and threw them inside. He rolled up the hide and put it under the bamboo basket.

Of course, he didn’t even glance at the ones that Bai Rui had killed. There wasn’t much difference between his and Bai Rui’s haughtiness.

Cheng Nuo knew the importance of food to the people in the slums and couldn’t help but say regretfully: “If these are left here, won’t they be eaten by wild animals?”

Liu Guang's eyes were as fierce as a wolf’s when he said: “You can only touch my things! You’re not allowed to touch other males’ things!”

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********

Translator’s Notes:

I don’t have an editor so please leave a comment to let me know if you find any errors. Thanks!

Some nice action this time! Bai Rui is skilled, good-looking, and clean? I like!

[burstingchrysanthemums]

Desperately Trying to Protect My Chrysanthemum From My Lovestruck Disciple: Part Six - In which Shen Qingqiu and the author put their depraved plan in motion

Time to go down the mountain for some R and R.

The original Qingqiu occasionally traveled to the nearest town to buy books from the secular world, mostly popular works of poetry and fiction. Trips like these lasted for several days and always included an element of "entertainment."

As a matter of fact, Shen Jui was pretty straight-laced and was not as well-known in the red light district as some of the more rowdy sect members. Shang Qinghua, as a member of the logistics peak, found out which brothel Qingqiu preferred.

"Shifu, where are we going?" asked Ming Fan. It was late at night and Qingqiu, Shang, Binghe, and Ming Fan were walking towards a brightly lit area of the town. They were all wearing hooded cloaks and half masks. They looked extremely suspicious and the two disciples didn't know why they had to hide their identities.

"Relax, brother," said Shang. "We are off to have some fun."

"Where?" Ming Fan lowered his voice and looked around. "Are we going to investigate something?"

"Look at these two," said Shang to Qingqiu. "Like two innocent little lambs."

Ming Fan was the son of a wealthy family and had lead a sheltered life. Binghe, on the other hand, was a poor orphan who was somewhat more familiar with the seedier aspects of town life. They were going to an area that he had always avoided before. Such places were dangerous for poor boys with no family to protect them.

They entered one of the less flashy buildings. This was a very discreet establishment where the patrons often wore masks and the workers tactfully refrained from asking questions.

The group was ushered into a private room. Shang put his arms around the two boys in a friendly manner. "Boys, this is a house of pleasure. From now on, don't use any names. All you have to do is to tell this good lady what kind of girl you want. It's our treat so don't worry about the expense."

Qingqiu didn't waste any time. In a quiet voice, but one that could be still be heard by the others who were undoubtedly straining their ears to listen, he enumerated his preferences in detail.

"I want a woman with big boobs and a small waist. I don't care about the face and I don't want someone fat. Show me the girls first then I will choose one. Bathe her and make sure she's very clean. No makeup or perfume."

The two boys' mouth were hanging open in shock. So their shifu had this type of taste? Binghe was teary-eyed and had a betrayed expression on his face.

The preferences Qingqiu had just enumerated were those of the original Shen Qingqiu. Qingqiu felt a bit dirty for saying all that and rather regretful that his elegant image had now been badly tarnished by his behavior. However, Shang had assured him this type of thing was totally routine. The other Peak Lords periodically treated their favored disciples to a night of pleasure in town since the sect had very few females.

After a few unfortunate incidents, word was quietly passed down that the younger disciples should always be accompanied by an older man since the red light district was full of thieves, scammers, slave traders, and the like. Mortals were generally not a match for a practitioner, even a young one, but drugs were commonly used in the seedier establishments and more than one young disciple had woken up the next day in a ditch, minus all his clothes and items.

Qingqiu got up and went with the madam to the room he would be using. Binghe made as if to follow him but was restrained by Shang, who was still holding on to his shoulder.

"Now, now, give the man some privacy," said Shang. They had thought it best that Shang be the one who actually guided the two in picking a woman.

The plan was to let Binghe experience sex for the first time and, ideally, awaken his desire for the opposite sex. According to Shang, the main character had a high sex drive and having a harem of beauties was an essential element of his coolness.

Qingqiu hoped the author's scheme would work.

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[burstingchrysanthemums]

Desperately Trying to Protect My Chrysanthemum From My Lovestruck Disciple: Part Five - In which Shen Qingqiu goes to the author for advice and hatches a kinky plan

There's only one thing to do: consult an expert. The author of this stallion novel had also transmigrated into the story and he was a very useful source of information and insight into the working of the plot.

It was easy to call over Shang Qinghua for a visit. Qingqiu laid it all out for him.

"Let me get this straight," said Shang. He was smiling from ear to ear, highly amused. "The main character has a huge crush on you and has very vivid erotic dreams that you can sometimes see. And you want to know how to stop this?"

"Well, obviously!"

"Why? Hugging the thighs of the main character is the best strategy for survival, don't you agree? Hugging onto the middle part of the thighs is even better."

The middle of the thighs? Meaning, his @#%%?

Qingqiu glared at the author.

"Out of the question. He's just a child. Fourteen years old."

"Fifteen, actually. The age gap between the two of you is less than one hundred years and it's perfectly legal here."

"Are you an idiot? What do you think will happen if I encourage him and then push him down the abyss? That would make everything a lot worse!"

"Right..." Shang Qinghua was silent for a moment as he thought. The two of them drank their tea. The plan they came up with wasn't perfect but it might just work.

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[burstingchrysanthemums]

Chapter Three - Never Marry a Man With Two Tintins

Volume One: Those in the Slums

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Chapter Three

Liu Guang said those soft words, bashfully scratching the top of his head that was covered with his messy hair.

Although Cheng Nuo thought those words were were somewhat ridiculous, he was somewhat touched. Of course, he also understood that Liu Guang's goodwill was based on him being female. Since he inexplicably came to this desolate and backward place, with no way of going back, he can only strive to survive here.

He beckoned to Liu Guang, motioning him to come closer. Liu Guang stared at a pair of green eyes like jade: “What?”

“I’ll check your head for lice.” Cheng Nuo grabbed Liu Guang's small arms and pulled him in front of him, almost fainting at the stink coming from the boy’s body. Liu Guang's bright red hair felt hard and prickly, probably because it hadn’t been washed in a long time. He stared at Liu Guang's hairline, frowning. “How many days has it been since you’ve had a bath?”

Liu Guang has never been touched so intimately. There was some resistance in his heart. Then he heard that the other person was disgusted by his dirty body. He was suddenly quite exasperated: “This how males are! This is how menfolk behave!”

Cheng Nuo was almost unable to stop bursting into laughter. Being male doesn’t mean not caring about hygiene! Once again, he looked carefully at Liu Guang's dirty house and found that there was a wooden bucket in the corner. He told Liu Guang: “Go and fill that bucket with water. We should clean this place up.”

He looked at Liu Guang who was still staring at him vigilantly and not moving. Cheng Nuo laughed: “Rest assured, I won’t run again.”

Although Cheng Nuo's face had streaks of dirt on it, when he smiled his tiger teeth appeared. He looked really sunny and bright. Liu Guang looked at him in amazement for a moment then finally went out with the bucket.

(TN: 虎牙 - tiger teeth/eye teeth. The author likes to say Cheng Nuo has cute little incisors. There’s no deep meaning it, just cuteness.)

The trees in the yard had clotheslines strung on them. Cheng Nuo hated the smell of the moldy bedding so he didn’t hesitate to carry it out and spread it out in the sun. Obviously, Liu Guang may not have any extra bedding. Cheng Nuo could only pray that the sun will kill any possible fleas in the bedding.

Perhaps Liu Guang's vigilance had not disappeared, because his return was swift. He was so small and his body was so thin that when he carried the bucket, it was easy for people to feel love and affection for him. Cheng Nuo couldn't help but touch his head again. Liu Guang still looked uncomfortable at the touch but he didn’t try to escape.

Cheng Nuo found a piece of cloth that he could use as a rag. There wasn’t even a tub. He had to wash the rag in the bucket, rubb the table legs clean, then sort out the trash in a corner of the room. He hobbled around the house tidying up while Liu Guang sat cross-legged on the bed.

Cheng Nuo walked to Liu Guang with his arms full of dirty clothes and gave the clothes to him, saying: “Let's go outside.”

Liu Liang wanted to establish his own authority, but looking at how Cheng Nuo smiled, in the end he still helped. Somehow, he thought that it was very interesting to see Cheng Nuo so busy.

After a half an hour, the shack was finally clean and tidy. Cheng Nuo nodded and said: “Now this looks like a place where people live.”

He remembered the silver-haired boy he had met before and asked Liu Guang: “I met  a silver-haired child who looks clean, who is he?”

When Liu Guang heard that his hair almost exploded. He stared suspiciously at Cheng Nuo and said: “Bai Rui, that ****! Why do you know him?! I’m telling you, you can only be my future wife! You’re not allowed to get too close to other males!”

The corners of Cheng Nuo’s eyes twitched but he refrained from pulling the boy by his ears. He said, as calmly as he could: “I just met him once and thought that he isn’t like the other people here. And stop calling me your future wife!”

Liu Guang snorted, unconvinced. Not calling him that, well! He didn't want anyone else to know that Cheng Nuo is a young female. After all, there are a lot of single, skilled thieves in this area. If Cheng Nuo’s identity was exposed, Liu Guang wouldn’t be able to fully protect the other person with his current ability. Once again, he said emphatically: “You mustn't get too close to others. Don't tell people that you’re female.”

“...” Cheng Nuo felt sure that he would never use this word to describe himself.

It was noon by the time the room was cleaned. Cheng Nuo's stomach began to rumble again. There was a worn basket in the yard. Cheng Nuo put all the dirty clothes in it and asked Liu Guang: “Is there a river nearby? These clothes need to be washed.”

Liu Guang frowned and said: “There is a river three miles away, but it’s the chi locust’s breeding season. It is dangerous for a young girl like you.”

Cheng Nuo was curious: “What is that insect?”

Liu Guang was also not very good at describing things so he simply repeated the name “chi locust” and said that it was a type of insect that lived near water. However, it is fierce and strong. The mature locusts’ bite is can pierce through an adult person’s bones. Breeding locusts are even more fierce. If one is disturbed, even a person’s skeleton might not be left intact.

Cheng Nuo broke out in a cold sweat when he heard this. How weird is this world? What the hell! Originally, he wanted to take a bath there and maybe catch some fish.

Liu Guang watched his expression change and suddenly said: “But you don't have to be afraid. Naturally, I will accompany you and protect you.”

In this area, except for Bai Rui, no one else, not even the adults, was more powerful than him. Therefore, he wasn’t afraid of the locusts.

Liu Guang said this in a casual tone of voice but in a way that showed he was very conceited. Cheng Nuo thought this was funny but he remained quiet. Was this little kid exaggerating the danger to scare him?

Liu Guang didn’t know what Cheng Nuo was thinking and threw a machete at the bottom of the bamboo basket.

Cheng Nuo carried bamboo basket and walked beside Liu Guang. Liu Guang looked at Cheng Nuo’s bruised legs and felt guilty so he took the bamboo basket and slung it over his back.

As they passed by a dilapidated shack, Liu Guang shouted an old man with grizzled hair wearing  scruffy white clothes: “Hey, Mrs. Ge, please give me some of your medicine for injuries.”

Cheng Nuo thought that this was a bit strange. Why was he calling that old man so weirdly?

The old man looked over at Liu Guang and shouted: “Boys! You never learn! Just applying these medicine everyday without a care! You’re all going to ruin your bodies!”

In spite of saying that, he threw a bottle over the fence. Liu Guang shook the bottle and showed it to Cheng Nuo. “I’ll apply this on you later. He calls the shots in that household. This medicine works.”

Cheng Nuo curiously took the bottle and opened it. The ointment smelled like mint, it wasn’t a bad smell.

Along the way, Cheng Nuo listened and tried to make sense of this world. The more he heard, the worse he felt. To put it simply, this was a place where the strong ruled over the weak. Killing people and stealing their goods was commonplace. Liu Guang described it all in a very casual tone of voice.

In the past, Liu Guang hit him with a stick. Cheng Nuo didn’t dare to ask if this child had killed anyone and eaten human flesh. Just imagining that made him break out in goose bumps all over his body…

However, except for this, Liu Guang was often no different from normal children.

As they walked, Cheng Nuo felt that something was strange but he couldn’t tell what it was. How come he didn’t see any women around? Is this world particularly feudal and women were not allowed to appear in public? He was just wondering about this but didn’t ask for a clarification because they just arrived at the river and the crystal clear water attracted all of his attention.

Liu Guang's nerves were obviously stretched tight. He stuck to Cheng Nuo’s side closely and his attitude made Cheng Nuo feel nervous, too.

The river was quiet and there was no one else around. Is what Liu Guang said before true?

There was no such thing as laundry detergent or soap here so Cheng Nuo simply scrubbed the clothes clean in the water. Fortunately, the clothes were all dusty and muddy but but he was able to wash them clean after a few minutes. The clean, wet clothes were all hanging in the branches of the trees near the river when Cheng Nuo motioned Liu Guang to take off his clothes.

Liu Guang's eyeballs almost popped out. He stuttered like a little wife who was being molested: “You, you, you …”

“Hurry up,” Cheng Nuo teased him. “Didn't you call me your future wife? Are you afraid of me? Just wash yourself. I don't want to live with a mud monkey.”

Liu Guang's face turned hot. He had second thoughts about it and took off his clothes, turning his back to Cheng Nuo. He threw off his clothes carelessly then jumped into the water, a little panicked. Remembering that he shouldn’t move too far away from Cheng Nuo, he carefully listened to sounds behind him while he absently scrubbed his black, grimy neck.

Cheng Nuo also relaxed. He simply took of his clothes and underwear to wash them because they had been dirtied by the garbage mound and were quite smelly. He waited until he had washed and strung up his clothes then looked at how the other person was doing.

That Liu Guang! That little rascal’s neck was still black!

Chen Nuo jumped into the river unselfconsciously.

Liu Guang heard the thumping sound behind him and turned around. He nearly jumped up in shock. After hurriedly turning away, he said with a red face and gritted teeth: “How can you … you’re too shameless!”

It was as though someone had lit a fire under his butt. He quickly hid himself as though there was a very fierce beast behind him.

(TN: 洪水猛兽 - severe floods and fierce beasts. Meaning great scourges or extremely dangerous or threatening things)

Cheng Nuo almost died laughing when he heard this. Is there something wrong with this little brat’s eyes? Can’t he see that their bodies are the same? However, Liu Guang's cherry-red hair that was sprinkled with drops of water was shining in the sun like a dazzling, beautiful flame.

He smiled and shouted at Liu Guang: “Liu Guang, come over, I’ll scrub your back.”

Liu Guang's face was now almost as red as his hair. He vaguely felt that he was being molested. The earliest time that people can marry is when they are fifteen. Although Cheng Nuo was going to be his wife in the future, males and females are always separate from the time they are children.

This female is too bold, right? The two of them haven't even entered the bridal chamber yet …

(TN: The “entered the bridal chamber” just means they aren’t married yet.)

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Translator’s Notes:

Thank you for reading. I am currently working alone, with no editor so if you find an error please let me know and I will fix it right away!

[burstingchrysanthemums]

Chapter Two - Never Marry a Man with Two Tintins

Volume One: Those in the Slums

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Chapter Two

Cheng Nuo stared blankly, only to discover that the owner of this pair of eyes was a boy of ten. He had straight, shoulder-length silver hair and skin as white as jade. He had a very handsome face and beautiful eyes. At this distance, one can clearly see his long, thick eyelashes. Although the boy’s clothes were patched, they were clean and tidy.

The boy's face was small and his cheeks were chubby but the cold and indifferent expression on his face was at odds with his age.

If it wasn’t for the cold dagger that was touching his neck, Cheng Nuo would be very happy to see such a clean and beautiful child.

“Who are you?” The beautiful golden eyes narrowed slightly and he pushed the dagger a little closer. The silver-haired boy’s voice also lacked the liveliness that a child should have. Although it is crisp and melodious, it was as monotone and lifeless as though it was generated by a computer.

Cheng Nuo had no doubt that if he doesn’t answer honestly, the other person won’t hesitate to stab him with his dagger. He quickly raised his hands and explained: “I didn't mean to sneak in. Someone chased me. I will leave soon.”

The silver-haired boy removed the dagger from his throat and said indifferently: “Scram now.”

Oddly enough, from the look in the other person’s eyes, Cheng Nuo received a message that he didn’t want to kill him because he feared that his blood would dirty his room.

His mouth twitched a few times. Sure enough, there are no normal children in this weird world, right? It’s someone even more perverted! It seems that killing people here is a very common thing ...

Cheng Nuo couldn't help but glance at him again. This silver-haired boy with a golden eyes was simply too beautiful.

The only way out was through the front door. Cheng Nuo peered out through a small crack and saw that Liu Guang was standing on a roof looking around, not far from here. After three seconds of hesitation, Cheng Nuo turned his head and asked: “Can I stay for a few more minutes?”

There was sharp whistling sound then Cheng Nuo saw that a dagger was stabbed into the wood just a few centimeters from the side of his head. The hilt of the dagger quivered. The silver-haired boy coldly looked at him, poker-faced.

Shit! This silver-haired boy is more frightening than Liu Guang!

He turned stiffly, opened the door, bowed his head as naturally as he could, and walked out to where Liu Guang was.

“Hey, stop!” Liu Guang shouted.

When he turned his head, he saw Cheng Nuo. Even if the other person changed his clothes, he still recognized the female that he had picked up based on the body and hair color.

Of course, Cheng Nuo did not stop. He walked forward as if nothing had happened.

Angrily gritting his snow-white teeth, Liu Guang jumped off the roof and rushed up to Cheng Nuo. In one smooth motion, he crouched down, lifted Cheng Nuo onto his shoulder, and strode off.

Although his shoulders were thin they were really powerful.

Blood rushed to Cheng Nuo’s head and his stomach hurt from the pressure. He couldn’t help but complain: “Let me down, I’ll walk by myself.”

For the first time, Liu Guang heard the female speaking to him. His voice was pleasing to the ears. Liu Guang put Cheng Nuo down calmly and watched him closely.

Cheng Nuo rubbed his painful stomach, surprised that the other person actually listened to him. He secretly observed Liu Guang and determined that his opponent’s current height was less than 1.4 meters. On the other hand, Cheng Nuo was now 1.65 meters. To think that he was bullied by this little child! He felt rather embarrassed.

He walked silently and because he wasn’t moving very fast, Liu Guang slowed down his pace, too. Cheng Nuo thought that this didn’t seem like the kind of attitude a person would show towards his food supply, right?

Neither one of them spoke. The two of them quickly arrived at Liu Guang’s old, shabby house. Cheng Nuo did not intend to give himself up, but went straight to the edge of the bed and sat down.

Cheng Nuo looked at the red-haired blue-eyed child in front of him and coughed a bit before asking: “What are you planning to do with me?”

He had been here for a few hours. He was tired and thirsty after all that exertion. Seeing a small bowl of water at the table that was somewhat tilted to the side, he couldn’t help but take a drink. Although the rough porcelain bowl had a few cracks in it, it was clean and the water tasted sweet and fresh.

Watching him enjoy the drink, Liu Guang felt a strange sense of satisfaction. But when he remembered how the female had secretly slipped away, he became angry again. He stood at the bedside, staring at Cheng Nuo. He said fiercely: “I brought you back to make you my wife. If you don’t obey me, I’ll tie you up later!”

Cheng Nuo nearly sprayed out the water in his mouth. The corners of his lips twitched - the poor young fellows in the mountains do look for children to raise to be their wives in the future, but aren’t you in over your head this time? Does this child have a problem with his eyesight? What part of him looks like a woman? 

(TN:  童养媳 - child bride; girl adopted into a family as future daughter-in-law)

Although I suddenly became childlike, with cute tiger teeth, do I not look like a lively young man? But now I’m afraid I’m going to experience puberty again.

After all, the child clearly saw Cheng Nuo’s body. Doesn’t he know the difference between men and women?

Probably this world of cannibals is extremely lacking in women. The boy picked up a “wife” the way a child wants to play with a doll. If Cheng Nuo were to say that he isn’t a woman or refuse to role, would he be cooked and eaten?

Because he had a lot on his mind, Cheng Nuo looked quite shocked. In Liu Guang’s eyes, he looked very reluctant.

Liu Guang's heart sank. His eyes narrowed and he stared at Cheng Nuo, saying fiercely: “If you are obedient, naturally I will treat you well. If you don’t  listen,  beware … hmph!”

Although he doesn’t  know what a wife does, no one would ignore a ready-made wife-to-be if one appeared in front of him.

Except for city lords and nobles, five out of ten of the ordinary people, especially those in the slums, were mostly not able to find wives. Most people shared a wife but Liu Guang did not intend to do so. This place isn’t the same as those wealthy or noble houses. Regarding formal weddings, there were none. Since his earliest childhood, he had always heard that it was best to marry as young as possible, otherwise his wife might be snatched away by other people.

No matter what this female’s background is, she must not have been engaged. Anyway, I’ve picked her up and now she’s mine!

When he saw Cheng Nuo's black, shiny eyes looking at him, Liu Guang inexplicably felt a little flustered. Worried that he had been too fierce and frightened the other person too much, he made his tone gentler: “Don’t be afraid, as long as you don’t run away again, I will let you eat until you’re full and wear warm clothes.”

Liu Guang seldom speaks so gently. His face felt hot but, thanks to the thick layer of dirt on his face, the other person didn’t see him blush.

Cheng Nuo was speechless. In his 19 years of life, he has fantasized about one day arrogantly saying to a girl “You will be my wife” but now a little rascal less than 1.4 meters tall said these arrogant words to him.

Although he was tempted to slap the babbling child, his reason told him that it would be better to agree for now. Cheng Nuo looked at Liu Guang calmly and said: “Well, right now I’m hungry.”

“... Oh.” Not expecting such a calm response, Liu Guang was dumbfounded.

But a male who lets his child bride go hungry is not a good husband …

Liu Guang brought the food he had found before and put it on the table.

The food was a plateful of dry steamed buns. Cheng Nuo frowned but he knew that in this place they weren’t picky about food. He took a bite out of a bun and threw the other one at Liu Guang.

Liu Guang caught it, stunned. However, he was someone who was not always able to eat until he was full so he simply started eating without much ado. He shoved food into his mouth until his cheeks bulged. He swallowed the food down noisily.

Unfortunately, the dry bread was too hard. Cheng Nuo took a bit of food and left the rest on the table.

Liu Guang looked at the rest of the steamed buns and swallowed a mouthful of water, dissatisfied. The female ate too little!

Cheng Nuo knew at a glance that he was still hungry so he pushed the plate towards the other person: “I’ve eaten. You should finish eating the rest of it.”

Liu Guang hesitated then quickly devoured the food.

Cheng Nuo frowned. The clothes he was wearing really stank! However, his original clothes were too big. He asked Liu Guang: “Do you have needle and sewing materials here?”

Liu Guang gave him a wary look then went out to borrow scissors and sewing materials from the neighboring huts. When he returned, Cheng Nuo sewed up his original trousers with stitches on both sides of the waist. After all, he wasn’t the type of person who’s all thumbs so he easily fixed the clothes.

Cheng Nuo couldn't wait to take off the dirty and stinky clothes. He put on his original pants over his bare legs. Fortunately, they didn’t fall off.

Liu Guang looked at him in surprise and almost bit his tongue in anger: “You shameless female! I warn you not to undress in front of others! And you mustn’t tell others that you are female…”

Cheng Nuo heard that the word “female” twice. Ah, this world’s perception of males and females is truly terrifying! He saw that the previously scary Liu Guang looked just like a lively little boy now, very normal-looking  ...

He laughed and put on his T-shirt. Sitting on the bed with his legs crossed, he stared at Liu Guang. “My name is Cheng Nuo. What is this place?”

Liu Guang was stunned. He silently said the name of his future mind in his heart and thought that it was not bad. Since he had decided to take Cheng Nuo as his child bride, he said spoke freely. Although he was articulate, he was just a young boy so his ability to express his thoughts was limited. The more Cheng Nuo heard, the more it made his head swim.

There are no countries in the world but there are numerous cities. A city lord is equal to an emperor. Development is different everywhere, but this slum is undoubtedly one of the most resource-poor areas. They belong to the border area of the city, which is adjacent to the two districts and is close to the commercial road.

Liu Guang said, looking down at Cheng Nuo: “You don’t even know these basic things. Did you run away from a noble house?”

The old people in the slums gossiped about nobles who raised good-looking females in small gardens for them to play with. Cheng Nuo was young and totally lacking in common sense so he must be from one of those noble caravans.

Anyway, here in the slums the dragons and fishes are jumbled together. The surrounding mountains are barren and the terrain is difficult, therefore he wasn’t afraid of people looking for the female.

(TN: 鱼龙混杂 - dragons and fishes jumbled together; good and bad mixed together)

Although he didn’t understand what he meant by “servant,” Cheng Nuo wisely chose to remain silent.

Liu Guang thought he had tacitly agreed and that he had brought up some bad memories. After a long pause, he clumsily and awkwardly patted the the back of Cheng Nuo's hand. “You don't have to worry. I'll be good to you in the future.”

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Translator’s Notes:

I still don’t have an editor so if you find any errors, please let me know. Thanks.

Looks like Cheng Nuo has been mistaken for a female who was being raised as a plaything by a noble family.

Please leave a comment below to let me know your reaction to this story. I love comments!

[burstingchrysanthemums]

Chapter One - Never Marry a Man with Two Tintins

Volume One: Those in the Slums

Chapter One

The stench woke up Cheng Nuo.

It was the smell of rancid meat, rotten eggs, and other food was left under the sun for 10 days, then it was put inside a black plastic bag and opened under his nose. Stinky!

He almost fainted from the putrid smell. Quickly, he held his nose and opened his eyes. Above him was a bright moon like a place of ice.

He was stunned for a moment then hastily jumped up. He saw that he was on top of a boundless, undulating mountain of garbage. The hands that been lowered for three seconds immediately covered his nose again.

In just under a minute, Cheng Nuo was forced to face the fact that he had transmigrated.

But the thing is, he didn’t have a car accident, nor did he fall off a cliff. He didn’t fall into a river and he didn’t write a negative review cursing an author. He had just taken a nap under the hypnotic voice of his advanced mathematics teacher. How did he transmigrate?

He looked down at his present body and breathed a sigh a relief when he saw  a familiar little scar on his right hand - this was his own body. But the strange thing was, his bones were small and the muscles he had gained from exercising had also disappeared. Based on his appearance, he looked around 13 to 14 years old. The white T-shirt and slacks he was wearing were too big for this body.

He pondered over his situation for a moment longer then pulled up his pants legs and decided to leave the mountain of garbage first. He took shallow breaths and made his way down, stumbling over the uncertain footing. Since he could not distinguish between the southeast and the northwest, nor was he familiar with the stars, he looked up at the position of the moon in the sky.

From time to time, he heard mice and wild dogs moving around. Even though Cheng Nuo has always been very brave, a chill still rose from the bottom of his heart.

Suddenly, his hair stood on end. Someone was staring at him!

He felt like a hungry wolf was staring at him, making him break out into a cold sweat.

He slowed his breathing, tried to calm himself, and kept walking at a normal pace. He looked around and, seeing a wooden stick from the corner of his eyes, grabbed it and turned around quickly - there was nothing at his back.

He sighed, somewhat relieved. Perhaps it was just his imagination.

However, he had relaxed too soon. There was sudden gust of wind at his back and as he turned his head, something hit the back of his head hard. There was the sound of a “thump” then he fell down on the mound of trash.

He tried to see who had attacked him and caught a glimpse of a wolf cub with bright bluish-green eyes and messy red hair. Looking at his figure, he should be a little boy. A pair of small hands soon grabbed Cheng Nuo and carefully patted him down from head to foot. When the boy found that he had nothing on him, he began to try to take off his clothes.

Cheng Nuo kicked the boy with his foot but the boy used an iron bar to hit him on his right knee. Cheng Nuo cried out. His whole leg felt numb. The boy quickly took off his T-shirt and his sneakers. His pants followed suit.

Cheng Nuo’s whole body was jolted from side to side by the other person’s rude actions. Even his socks and underwear weren’t safe from the boy. Without hesitation, the the boy put his hands on the elastic waistband of his underwear and pulled it down. Cheng Nuo feebly moved his bare legs to hide himself but the other person clearly saw that private place.

This… this is a female? The boy couldn’t believe it at first but he examined the other person and confirmed that it was true. His fierce green eyes widened in shock. For a moment, he was at a loss because he had never seen a female’s naked before. Looking at that person more carefully, he saw that the female’s well-formed facial features were very pleasing to the eye … He thought this was strange. How could this young female appear alone in this garbage dump?

Cheng Nuo’s head was still too heavy for him to lift. He was still seeing stars. He knit his eyebrows and groaned.

The shocked boy’s eyes finally moved up. He hurried took his hands off Cheng Nuo’s calf. He watched nervously as Cheng Nuo struggled to sit up. A conditioned reflex made his hand chop down at Cheng Nuo.

Holy ****! Cheng Nuo complained in his heart then passed out.

Where the **** did he transmigrate to? Even a little kid was this vicious?

And so when Cheng Nuo regained his consciousness again, he found himself being carried by that boy. The other person should be half a head shorter than he was but even though his figure was thin, the boy’s speed was very fast and seemed effortless.

The horizon was turning gray so it must nearly be dawn. Cheng Nuo noticed that he was wearing his clothes again.

He pretended to be asleep and squinted his eyes to look at the child’s profile. The boy’s face was dirty and he was certainly not more than 10 years old.

The sound of voices gradually became noisier. Cheng Nuo used the corner of his eyes to look around. It looked like he was in a slum, with short thatched shacks crowded up against each other. People with dusty faces and ragged clothes carrying bamboo baskets were scurrying to and fro on the narrow dirt road.

Their clothes were very strange, unlike any dynasty in ancient China. They were wearing short-sleeved long robes, similar to the ones in online games, but all tattered and dirty. Their hair was a variety of colors.

There were a few half-grown children talking to the boy. His name was Liu Guang and he seemed to be a child who lived in this slum. Someone asked him who Cheng Nuo is and Liu Guang said: “I picked this up. If he’s not obedient then I’ll cook him.”

The kid who has spoken wasn’t surprised. He even seemed happy and asked: “Alright. Then big bro Guang, can I please have half a bowl? I haven’t eaten meat for a long time.”

Liu Guang smiled. Of course, he wouldn’t tell others that this is a precious female. It’s not likely that he will cook this female since he intends to raise this person as his wife.

Cheng Nou was frightened as he listened to this scary conversation. ****! Did he transmigrate into a world of cannibals?! No wonder the child carried him so far away.

He was really anxious to run away but this boy’s speed and strength is too high. Cheng Nuo’s leg still hurt badly and it looks like other people will treat him as food?

In the end he decided to wait for a good opportunity first.

Liu Guang finally stopped at a thatched hut that was slightly larger than the others. He closed the wooden door then put Cheng Nuo on the thin, messy bed.

He looked carefully at that person. The female’s hair color was a rare color, pure black. The skin was a healthy light wheat color. That short black hair was very soft so he couldn’t help but keep touching it again and again.

Cheng Nuo got goose bumps at being touched by him. Is this cannibal child estimating how many kilograms of meat he had in his body? He wanted to wait for Liu Guang to go out before he made a move. The other person was standing at his bedside staring at his face intently, making Cheng Nuo’s scalp numb with horror.

He looked like a child but although he had only been in this world for a little over a hour, Cheng Nuo thought that if Liu Guang is a normal child then he, Cheng Nuo, is a fool. Liu Guang finally turned and left. Cheng Nuo listened to the sound of the door closing then quickly sat up and looked around. The shack was nothing much. It was dark and musty inside and in the corner were some dirty clothes messily lying on the floor.

He lifted the leg of his pants. Sure enough, his knee had a large bruise on it. The back of his head also ached so he probably had an internal injury there.

Cheng Nuo swore under his breath as he rubbed his knee, baring his teeth from the pain. He limped towards those clothes that he saw and began to quickly take off his clothes - he has to leave this place right away in order avoid becoming food!

Liu Guang’s clothes were too small and also very smelly. Cheng Nuo frowned. He messed up his hair, put some dirt on his face, then didn’t hesitate to push the door open.

The thatched huts in the street all looked the same and the numerous alleys were spread out chaotically like cobwebs. Cheng Nuo kept his head lowered as he walked. His instincts told him to go to the places where there were less people around. It was a pity that his sense of direction wasn’t very good. The houses all looked similar and although he walked for a long time he didn’t seem to go far.

After a few moments, he heard the sound of a lot of shouting and a familiar voice of a stinky boy. The tone was very angry: “His hair is black! Remember to bring him back alive! I have to deal with him myself!”

Cheng Nuo listened to this in a daze then he started to run. **** this primitive society!

If he gets caught, he'll be made into a stew!

Liu Guang gnashed his teeth in anger. He was too softhearted in not wanting to tie up the female with rope. He just ran out to find some food and water but that person took that opportunity to run! He had arrogantly decided that this female would be his wife.

Later on, if he was still disobedient then he would sell the female in the black market. He could get at least 500 energy coins which he could live on for a long time.

The noises seemed to be getting closer and nearer. Cheng Nuo, pushed a door open and ran inside a house. Fortunately, no one was inside. He quickly closed the door and hid under the bed. He didn’t know how long he waited there for the noise outside to gradually fade away.

Cheng Nuo was relieved and began looking around him at the house he had taken refuge in. Suddenly, he realized that this place was strange. Although the thatched cottage looked quite shabby, it was spotlessly clean and all of the furniture and items were laid out in a neat and tidy way, in stark contrast to that messy shack he saw before.

Although the thatched cottage is as shabby as it is, it is spotless, and the goods are laid out in a neat and tidy way, in stark contrast to the messy thatched hut.

Cheng Nuo thought about it. The owner of this house must be female, right? Otherwise it wouldn't be so neat ...

The dilapidated wooden door creaked open and Cheng Nuo saw a pair of shiny black leather boots enter.

Cheng Nuo held his breath. The owner of the boot paused and went in the other direction. He breathed a sigh of relief.

But he had just relaxed when those boots suddenly appeared beside the bed. A person lifted the bed sheet up and someone grabbed Cheng Nuo’s neck tightly. His whole body was forcefully lifted up and out from under the bed. He landed on the floor with a loud thud.

Cheng Nuo was still dizzy from the fall when he felt a cold thing touching his neck, hurting his skin.

Startled, he raised his head and looked right into a pair of dispassionate golden eyes.

Table of Contents          Next Chapter

Translator’s Notes:

Hiya, everyone! This is my new project. It’s smut in the later chapters and written by the same author who wrote Transmigrating into a Mob Character to Rehabilitate the Villain Plan.

The early chapters only have kids in them. Therefore, there won’t be any smut for quite some time. Thank you for reading. Please let me know if there are any errors. I currently do not have an editor.

The title says “two 丁丁.” Now, this is slang that I have seen translated in many different ways. You could put JJ (since it looks like the letter J) or dingding (the sound of the pinyin) but I chose “tintin” purely because it sounds funnier to me. It means two penises. Yes, the males in this setting have two pistols. By the way, Cheng Nuo is a transmigrated/transported person from Earth so he obviously does not have two tintins. He also has only one chrysanthemum, as people from Earth do.

[burstingchrysanthemums]

Never Marry a Man With Two Tintins

Title: Never Marry a Man With Two Tintins

Chinese Title: 绝不嫁有两个丁丁的男人

Author: 杀小丸

Summary:

This is the story of a person who transmigrated into a world with a radically different worldview.

So different, in fact, that he is considered a female in that world!

Cheng Nuo: What? Why did you say that I’m female?

Author: You only have one Tintin. The males of this world have two Tintins.

Cheng Nuo: No way! My hands are itchy... I want to cut one off!

Author’s note:

This is a 3P, “dog blood” (a little cliche), HE (happy ending) story. 

Table of Contents:

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

[burstingchrysanthemums]

Chapter 80.3 – The Reader and Protagonist Definitely Have to Be in True Love

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Chapter 80.3: Tower of God: Gnome Ruins

When Du Ze and Xiu once again set foot on the street of the Gnome Ruins, it was already the third day of the gnome race’s trial. Whenever Du Ze saw any furry object, it was like looking at a landmine. Even when he saw a mechanical puppet that didn’t have any fur but smelled like oil, Du Ze would shed tears.

Xiu quickly dispatched the mechanical puppets that tried to attack them. The one to four star mechanical puppets were easily overcome and were reduced into their component parts whenever they fought the Moe Lord.

Du Ze looked at Xiu’s back and at the fallen mechanical puppets. He recalled the first time they met a mechanical puppet on the reverse side of the continent. At that time, even a one star mechanical puppet caused them a lot of trouble but now, Xiu can easily take down even the five star mechanical puppets.

They had traveled together for such a long time that he hadn’t realized until now that the Moe Lord had become so powerful.

Du Ze’s heart jumped a little and he felt a sweet yet bitter pain. This was like watching a child grow up. The child’s first stumbling steps have turned into a confident walk. He is proud and happy about it but he is in the same position as all guardians are – when the child is all grown up, it is then time to take their leave.

“These mechanical puppets are so annoying.”

Du Ze was abruptly grabbed by Xiu. He hurriedly held on to Xiu’s shoulder, only to hear the beastkin with the round lion ears happily say: “Hold on tight, we will go faster.”

“…!”

Du Ze didn’t have time to reply before a strong kinetic energy made his upper body stick to Xiu’s back. Their bodies crashed together with a “pa” sound. Xiu, carrying Du Ze, ran into a shadow. Whenever he saw a mechanical puppet, Xiu would use the terrain to jump and disappear before he was within the mechanical puppets’ range of action, making the puppets unable to gather information about them.

All Du Ze could see was Xiu’s floating tail as he was jolted. The beastkin’s speed and movement was more exciting than a rollercoaster. Just as he was about to faint, Xiu finally arrived at a circular plaza. Once they were at the plaza, the mechanical puppets no longer pursued them. Xiu put the dizzy Du Ze down, who staggered a bit before regaining his balance. Now that the world was no longer spinning, Du Ze recognized that this was the “Foundation” plaza.

Old John once told him that if there was a treasure in the Gnome Ruins that the people outside would covet, he was afraid that it would be the cache of materials in the “Foundation” plaza. The gnome race collected raw materials from the whole continent and put it in the “Foundation” plaza, grading them by their quality.

The gnomes could take materials based on their star rating, including many S quality materials which the outside world coveted.. Du Ze saw the material exchange machine in the middle of the plaza but it was obviously not functional since it was missing a piece. Du Ze stared at the gap in the machine. He ransacked his memories of machine parts and suddenly realized something.

Isn’t that the big machine part that you saw in the iron gnome’s hand a few days ago?!

In retrospect, Rachel said: “We had to gather mechanical parts to activate a plaza.”

The Tower of God’s requirement is easy to understand.

Xiu’s memory of that day was not clear but after Du Ze told him about it, he immediately went to fetch the machine part from the “Kingdom” plaza. Du Ze, who Xiu always equipped, was honored once again to sit on that roller coaster. Xiu got the missing piece and the dizzy Du Ze watched as Xiu placed it in its proper place in the “Foundation” plaza.

The machine was activated in a flash. It made a humming sound then the whole plaza seemed to come alive as the electric circuit pattern on the ground lit up. Du Ze walked slowly to Xiu’s side. He found the Moe Lord staring at the newly activated material exchange machine, deep in thought.

When he saw Du Ze come over to him, Xiu reached out and took his own silly, cute person in his arms, tangling him up with his tail, too. Leaning against Du Ze, he shifted his sight from the machine to the mechanical puppets wandering the streets then, finally, looked around at the entire Gnome Ruins.

“I suddenly had an idea.”

As Du Ze watched, Xiu’s smiling face changed.1

“Let’s try it.”

A day later.2

A two-star mechanical puppet wandered aimlessly through the streets of the Gnome Ruins then suddenly encountered two figures that it scanned.

“Beep – lifeforms X2 discovered, analyzing race. Beep – gnome discovered!” The blue lights in the mechanical puppet’s eyes did not flicker. “Identifying individual. Beep – Xiu, six-star mechanic. Beep – Number XH33321 is ready to serve you, please give instructions.”

Du Ze could not help but praise the Tower of God for its professional behavior. The simulation was this precise – no, he should have expected it. When it comes to Xiu, the Tower of God is completely unprincipled, indulgent, and eccentric. The entire gnome trial is now like a walk in the park for gnome form Xiu!

Previously, the elf trial came to an abrupt halt when the Tree of Life revolted. This time, the Moe Lord just has to open his mouth and the mechanical puppets will carry out his every wish – the entire Gnome Ruins has completely become his domain!

Du Ze looked at the little Xiu who was giving orders to the giant mechanical puppets to help him carry things. He wanted to cover his face to hide his expression.

Although they have been separated from Rachel and the others, Du Ze thought it wouldn’t be a problem for Xiu to finish this trial even though the Moe Lord had to carry a noob with him. Right now they had reached the “Splendour” plaza where there was a star-level authentication machine. This was where gnomes go to get their star certifications. They simply had to bring their work with them and their star rating will be upgraded. As before, the machine lacked an important part.

The other tower climbers will have to find a six-star mechanical puppet and defeat it to get the needed part. However, for a gnome – do they even need to look for the part? They can just make it.

Xiu almost emptied the “Foundation” plaza of all its usable materials. A long line of mechanical puppets followed him, carrying the materials. He was like a queen who went shopping with his faithful housekeeper and servants carrying his shopping bags. In fact, Xiu can even order those six-star mechanical puppets to kill themselves so he can get the parts he needs but Xiu turned into his gnome form to make the parts to prepare for the Final BOSS fight.

Rachel said, “The whole city, the place where we stood… was an eight-star mechanical puppet.”

Du Ze looked at Xiu. The flaxen-haired gnome was holding a screwdriver in his slender and weak-looking hands, but those were hands that could overcome the eight-star mechanical puppet – with just a few small tricks, everything will be just right.

In less than half a day’s time, Xiu fixed the star-level authentication machine. After that, he was in no hurry to leave but instead made a small machine and raised his certification to seven stars.

A seven-star rating is the highest level. With it, a gnome can not only command any public mechanical puppets seven stars and below, but can also get any material he wants from the “Foundation” plaza. Du Ze and Xiu returned to the “Foundation” plaza and borrowed the most advanced materials. Xiu spent five days to make a seven-star, human-type mechanical puppet.

“The next time we see Old John,” said Xiu as he was debugging the mechanical puppet, “I can give him a new body.”

Du Ze nodded his head. During the beastkin trial, they were accidentally separated and Old John’s body had been halved. They did not know where Old John was now. Each checkpoint will close after the leader passes through so generally Xiu was the last to enter the portal or went together with everyone. At that time, they did not leave together so it’s possible that Old John and the others were trapped in the beastkin simulation and can only wait for the next group that passes the trial and that would be willing to take them along through the exit portal.

********

Translator’s Notes:

I hope everyone had fun reading the last scene.*nosebleeding intensifies* 🍌

Can someone at least leave a comment here about it here ? I mean, I want some feedback. What did you think of the barbs? What about the pulling tail scene?

What about that time when Du Ze was “eaten” by Xiu?

“The beastkin’s golden eyes were shiny and he was like a big puppy running around his master excitedly, acting like a spoiled child.” – So fluffy!

I’m glad Xiu is going to fix Old John and even upgrade his body. Hooray!

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[burstingchrysanthemums]

Chapter 66.1 - The Reader and Protagonist Definitely Have to Be in True Love

Chapter 66.1 - Protagonist: Who are you thinking of?

(Warning: This chapter is BL and NSFW)

Du Ze took a bath. When he came out, he saw Xiu sitting on the bed. The demon was leaning on a bedpost, one foot on the bed and one foot hanging down naturally. His right hand was on his knee while his left was holding a bottle with a light purple potion inside. The transparent bottle glittered in the moonlight.

When he saw Du Ze had finished his bath, the corner of Xiu’s lips curved up. He said a sentence: “-”

Du Ze could not hear what he said, but looking at the familiar movement of Xiu’s mouth, it should be the commonly used word “Come.” Some silly, cute reader was very obedient to the Moe Lord. When he came to the bedside, Du Ze looked at the bottle in Xiu’s hands and asked: “What is that?”

Xiu stretched out his hand and pulled the defenseless Du Ze onto the bed before covering Du Ze’s body with his. The demon used his hands to prop himself up on top of Du Ze, his long black hair coolly falling down like silk on Du Ze’s chest. Still holding the potion, Xiu used his forefinger to write the answer on Du Ze's body.

[You'll know right away.]

Bright moonlight wandered in. Xiu’s eyes became brighter and brighter. Du Ze looked at Xiu’s slender vertical pupils; he didn’t know why but he felt a strong sense of danger. Before he could move, he saw Xiu pull out the cork with his teeth. The moment air touched the potion, it half-solidified. A scent overflowed from the medicine bottle, diffusing into the air. That fragrance made people feel very relaxed; Du Ze didn’t realize that his body had lost its stiffness.

Before Du Ze could comprehend what was happening, Xiu's finger had come in. Du Ze frowned slightly; it wasn’t painful but it felt strange when Xiu pushed his finger, slippery with the potion, into his body. Soon Du Ze’s body temperature softened the medicinal gel into liquid. There was a creamy outflow as Xiu’s finger pumped in and out.

Du Ze stared at the light purple ointment then looked at Xiu, his eyes full of shock. Xiu came closer and kissed Du Ze’s lips; this time he was finally able to get his tongue inside. He did not waste a moment and immediately wound his tongue around Du Ze’s while he used his free hand to write on Du Ze’s body.

[I asked Heidi for some lubricant so I will not hurt you later.]

Because the amount of information it was given was too large, a silly, cute person’s brain CPU was on the verge of collapse. He thought of Heidi’s wink and the other people’s strange looks … Then … No…

With the help of the lube Xiu's fingers entered smoothly, even when Xiu increased it to three fingers. Xiu’s fingers pumped in and out so that the oily liquid was mostly smeared on Du Ze’s inner walls. Even when there was some outflow, Xiu pushed more lube in. Du Ze’s eyes widened; his breathing became more rapid as Xiu kissed him on the lips again. The ointment melted in him, melting all the time, as if it were in his flesh and blood, like gasoline that had been lit, burning.

His rear was tingling intensely and his body was like a burning stove. His temperature was rising but oxygen was not available. Du Ze gasped violently but did not want to push Xiu away. His hands on Xiu seemed uncertain whether to make Xiu stop or urge him to go deeper. Xiu’s tongue explored his mouth before thrusting in and out, simulating sex. Du Ze’s hands twitched a few times. The stimulated Du Ze couldn’t help but close his eyes and moan softly.

“Ah…”

When two people separated, the long silver thread that connected them was coated with the moonlight’s white light. Xiu gazed at the panting Du Ze and his purple eyes seemed to glow in the moonlight. The demon laughed very seductively as he pulled out his fingers that were covered with translucent liquid. He placed a finger on Du Ze’s body to write a message.

[A succubus’ potion always has a special addition.]

.... ****! For the first time, Du Ze felt extremely aroused, as though he was about to explode. His desire had been erect ever since Xiu’s fingers gave his body such a strong stimulation. However, as soon as the stimulus stopped his body felt very empty. When Xiu wrote on Du Ze’s body with his fingers, it brought some stimulation but it just wasn’t enough.

Du Ze squirmed for a bit before turning his body sideways to use his hand to relieve his desire. He did not notice that when he did that, the demon gasped for breath and Xiu’s deep purple eyes revealed a strong desire to invade.

In the past, Xiu rejected the succubus and thought of this person while he reached a climax. That man is now lying unguarded under him. Why shouldn’t he want more?

—— I want to kiss him. I want to embrace him, I want to touch him, I want to … commit blasphemy.

When Du Ze was about to climax, Xiu pressed down on top of him. Unable to relieve his desire, Du Ze’s entire body was tense and his mouth opened wide as he gasped for breath, hands trembling as he tried to free himself from Xiu’s grasp.

“Let me go.”

“Who are you thinking of?” Xiu held Du Ze’s waist in his arms and whispered in his ear. He knew that Du Ze couldn’t hear him so he wrote it on Du Ze’s body.

Du Ze was breathless and his strong desire made his thoughts run slowly. Xiu wrote on his body several times before the trembling Du Ze could read it.

[Who do you think of when you climax?]

Sweat from Du Ze's forehead slid down into the corners of his eyes like tears. Du Ze was being bullied by Xiu until he cried. Xiu stopped him from climaxing and wouldn’t let him go until he answered. The demon also maliciously rubbed his sensitive ears while Xiu’s fingers on his body spent more time teasing and caressing than writing. Du Ze’s heart was pounding violently as though it was about to jump out of his mouth. Even though it was shameful, the bullied Du Ze finally couldn’t help but say it out loud.

“... Yes, it’s you …”

Behind Du Ze, Xiu crooned softly: “Hmm?”

“... I think … of you …”

The demon smiled and kissed Du Ze's ear fondly. He finally loosened his hold.

[Good boy.]

After he climaxed, Du Ze’s brain was blank and his whole body was limp. He didn’t want to move at all but some silly, cute person wanted to cry when he found out that even after he came once, his body’s heat didn’t abate because a large amount of lube was applied to that place. Du Ze couldn’t help but contract his insides so that place wouldn’t feel so empty.

Xiu soon discovered this as his fingers pressed into the small opening that had contracted. The lube had made the little hole soft and moist. Xiu looked at the translucent liquid that flowed out onto his fingertips, his deep purple eyes narrowing in delight.

Du Ze instinctively sensed that this was dangerous. He tried to move his hot body away, wanting to escape from Xiu’s arms. Xiu was aware of Du Ze's intention; he pushed his finger into Du Ze’s body and found a good position to start kneading and stimulating that place. Du Ze’s body instantly became soft because the ointment had made him unusually sensitive, so much so that he could not withstand the stimulation. Pleasure shot up his spine and made tears spring into his eyes. His desire to come again made him tremble violently.

Xiu pumped his fingers until Du Ze was about to climax before withdrawing. His fingers circled the mouth of the opening and ventured inside a little, not deeply. When Du Ze looked at him accusingly, Xiu licked the corners of his eyes and slyly wrote: [Do you want me to come in?]

WTF ... Du Ze closed his eyes, surrendered himself, and no longer struggled.

Xiu smiled. He lifted Du Ze’s legs and his fiery hot sex entered Du Ze. The lube made it easy for him to fully enter. The soft and slippery place perfectly accommodated his desire; the damp and hot inner walls softly clung to his sex and contracted. The demon sighed and began to move.

After all, there was a difference in the size of the fingers and Xiu’s sex. Even with the aid of the lubricant, Du Ze still felt some pain. He grasped the bed under the sheets, groaning quietly. As Xiu pumped in and out, the initial pain disappeared and the friction of the huge thing in his body made his limbs go weak. Du Ze gasped feebly and closed his eyes, unable to bear the pleasure.

Xiu stretched out his hand and grasped Du Ze's chin. His fingers entered Du Ze's mouth to try to clamp his slippery tongue. Du Ze sobbed and saliva flowed from the lips that could not be closed. Xiu licked it bit by bit. He slowly withdrew from Du Ze’s lower body then forced it back inside.

His inner walls stimulated by the repeated friction, Du Ze was feeling so much pleasure he was almost crying. Even Xiu’s long hair that fell down on him made him feel good. Du Ze moaned sensuously. Two people were entangled for hours. After many rounds of sexual intercourse, Du Ze was unable to endure anymore. He looked out the window towards the moons that were about to reach their zenith. He gasped and said to Xiu behind him: “It’s time to rest … tomorrow .... the tower… ah …”

Du Ze moaned as his body was once again filled with hot liquid. He didn’t realize that his voice was extremely sexy and he looked like someone who had been ruthlessly loved. Xiu’s long hair was wet with his sweat. He withdrew from Du Ze’s body and his fingers pressed on the hole where white liquid was flowing out, as if he wished to continue.

Moonlight shone down from the window and the two moons had climbed to the top. Xiu took Du Ze in his arms as his 0-point restore was triggered; Du Ze’s whole body was restored to his original condition, all signs of a mess disappeared. Du Ze felt Xiu put his head on his shoulder. The moist breath in his ear meant that the demon was speaking. Some silly, cute person put on his headphones and the first thing he heard was:

“I really want you to sleep for one night with my thing inside,” he said.

Du Ze silently took off the headphones, pretending to hear nothing. His back was pressed to Xiu's chest and he could feel it quivering slightly; the demon seemed to be laughing.

Xiu held his family’s silly, cute reader in his arms. He kissed that person’s soft earlobe then did not make a move again.

[Good night.]

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[burstingchrysanthemums]

Chapter 55.2 The Reader and Protagonist Definitely Have to Be in True Love

Warning: This chapter is NSFW. It’s also a bit bloody. If you have a low tolerance for that, you might want to skip this part. 

This is by Reika of BC Novels.

Chapter 55.2 Reader: I think I can salvage the situation.

The implication was not said but a strong sense of crisis was in Du Ze’s heart as he struggled and stammered: “Xiu, this is not... it’s impossible--”

Even if only his instincts are left, Xiu knows that it would be difficult to continue this way - the man he wants to mate with is only the size of his claw. The dragon race’s innate knowledge provided a solution to his dilemma. Each dragon inherits knowledge from the previous generation about how to use his body correctly and effectively. Whether it’s spreading his wings to fly, or using the dragon language, or… changing into human form.

Du Ze felt the weight on his body lighten as the dragon claw that pinned him down disappeared - it wasn’t lifted up, it disappeared. Du Ze had just sat up when he was pinned to the ground again by a hot body. That person’s long, cool hair slid down Du Ze’s body, and his skin felt smooth and supple, like the silver dragon’s scales. Du Ze was surprised. The body pressing down on him was that of a man. Did the Moe Lord suddenly switch channels?

In a flash, his chin was kissed by that person. Du Ze’s eyes were wide as he saw that the person had red eyes - it’s the silver dragon’s red eyes. The master of the red eyes grabbed Du Z’s chin and forced him to open his mouth. He kissed Du Ze deeply; his tongue domineering, like a king inspecting his territory, showing a strong possessive desire. Du Ze frowned uncomfortably. The kiss made him suffocate so he stretched out his hand to try to push him away, but because of their position his fingers only touched the side of Xiu’s face - there was a thin piece of skin there shaped like a fin where the ears would be on a human.

There is no doubt that the man who is pressing on his body is Xiu in humanoid dragon form. Du Ze's sense of crisis did not abate. Even though he had changed into human form, Xiu’s every movement is full aggression; those red eyes of his were full of extreme longing and madness.

“!”

With his mouth covered by Xiu’s mouth, Du Ze’s painful cry was stopped in his throat - without any preparation, Xiu had thrust into his body. At that moment Du Ze was in a trance as he felt like he was split in half and every cell in his body was screaming in pain.

Finally inside Du Ze body, Xiu was extremely excited. He can hardly wait to enjoy his possession. Xiu was repeatedly thrusting into Du Ze. Every slow stroke made bright red liquid pour out. Xiu withdrew until he had almost completely pulled out, then thrust it in deeply. However, no matter how hard he invaded, he still felt unsatisfied.

A lot of blood flowed out from the place where their two bodies met. Xiu let go of Du Ze lips then put his head down on Du Ze’s body and breathed deeply. That scent made him feel crazy and his eyes became so red they looked like they were bleeding.

He wanted to fully enter this person’s body until there was no room left that he didn’t fill.

Du Ze was finally released from Xiu’s mouth, but at this moment he could only passively accept his fate. That place seemed to be torn in many spots. Du Ze feebly closed his eyes; the pain made him sweat and the sweat flowed into his eyes. He thought he had already experienced the most cruel thing, but Xiu’s next move made him suck in a breath of cold air. He felt Xiu's fingers insert into his back door. A slight gap slowly opened in the tightly fitting part and a hot thing was trying to squeeze along into that gap.

Du Ze tried to look behind him but it was too dark and he couldn’t see anything. He could only use his trembling hands to touch it. When Du Ze realized what it was, his entire body went slack.

WTF! WTF! Yi Ye Zhi Qiu, you bastard! The dragons are a type of reptile and they have two ****s?! This young man will die! This young man will really die!

Du Ze trembled as the looked at the red eyes. He said hoarsely: “Xiu... Don't do that, okay?”

Xiu's ear fins spread and fluttered like wings in his excitement. The man under him with messy black hair was covered with traces of him. The black-haired man was trembling and making soft sounds like whimpers, making a person want to bully him more. Xiu held the hand that Du Ze had not yet retracted and continued to push the other half into Du Ze’s body, making them look like they were moving together in unison.

Du Ze’s fear had reached the extreme. He tried to crawl away from Xiu but was immediately dragged back. The man pressed into his body so tightly that Du Ze could not even struggle. With the other half inside, Du Ze’s entire body began to tremble and he was rendered speechless. The pain in his rear made Du Ze afraid to breathe. He felt like a piece of paper that was slowly being torn apart. If he so much as inhaled harder, his whole body might shatter.

When Xiu's sex had fully entered, Du Ze thought he would faint, but perhaps because of the dragon blood his consciousness was still clear. The two hot things stuffed in his body, pressing against the inner walls, were always touching that sensitive place inside him. Du Ze’s eyes overflowed with tears and he was not clear what the feeling in his body was anymore. He could only gasp out some meaningless syllables as Xiu pulled out.

The dark cave echoed with wet sounds and ambiguous gasps. Du Ze whimpered. Buried in his body, something shot out a boiling hot liquid. His body’s exit was still blocked so the liquid flowed into his body with a strange feeling of swelling and fullness. Du Ze struggled for a bit and Xiu slipped out a little, but Xiu immediately pressed on top of him.

The feeling of the liquid inside his body is too weird. Du Ze finally can't help but cry. Hearing Du Ze crying, Xiu’s vertical pupils contracted. He forced it in and couldn’t help but shoot inside again. After the first round, the Xiu was still not satisfied. He was still buried in Du Ze's body and started up again. By this time, Du Ze has collapsed and lay inert under Xiu’s body, letting the other do whatever he wanted.

The scent of blood and sex permeated the whole cave. After he came for the third time, Xiu finally became a little sober. He looked down at the silent Du Ze under him and pulled himself out. A large amount of cloudy-white liquid was mixed in with the blood. Xiu changed back into his dragon shape and used his claws to cut the edge of his scales. He fed dragon blood into Du Ze’s mouth. The black-haired youth’s pale face finally became a little rosy. The silver dragon hovered over Du Ze, red eyes staring at his most important treasure.

When Du Ze’s 0-point restore ability activates, he can continue to mate with this person.

He likes the taste of Du Ze.

In his lair, just this one treasure is enough.

*******

The author has something to say:

Protagonist: After you have your 0-point restore, we can continue. Readers: ... I think I can save it. Author: (profound look) The dragon nature is kinky.

********

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[burstingchrysanthemums]

Chapter 55.1 The Reader and Protagonist Definitely Have to Be in True Love

Chapter 55.1 - Reader: I think I can salvage the situation.

Warning: NSFW chapter

Note: This is by Reika of BC Novels. This chapter will be posted here because of the NSFW content.

The silver dragon held Du Ze in his hands and circled the island. Instinct told Xiu that he needed to find a nest that was safe and secluded to shelter and hide his treasures, such as the one he had on his hand. He could hardly wait to enjoy his possession.

Unaware of the looming crisis, Du Ze kept looking back to make sure those dragons really weren’t chasing after them. When he didn’t spot any dragons for some time, the reader finally felt relieved; all he could think of was going to the author’s house to check his water meter.

(Translator’s note:“Open the door, we’re here to check the water meter” is supposedly a stock phrase used by the police but these days it commonly used to ridicule people. For example, when someone posts vulgar/banned content in forums, the moderators or other posters will say “check the water meter.”)

Even though he hadn’t read the update, Du Ze can still guess the main plot of the Dragon Island: Men conquer the world; women, by conquering men, conquer the world. In “Mixed Blood,” the dragon race conquered the world; the Moe Lord, by conquering the females, conquers the dragon race.

This whole “last silver dragon” and “declining dragon birth rate” plot was the work of Yiye Zhiqiu’s fallen moral integrity. Having the protagonist push down a few younger sisters wasn’t enough for the crazy author; he made the Moe Lord push down an entire race! The most shameful thing was, if it wasn’t Xiu but another protagonist, this young man would think “shame… shame… but so Moe, too Moe!”

The author had the reader captive and his moral integrity has fallen.

As the hole in Du Ze’s brain was getting larger (his thoughts were getting crazier), Xiu landed on a towering peak. The silver dragon folded his wings and stood on a cliff, tail hanging down and claws firmly grasping the stone. In front of them was a crevasse. The silver dragon put his head in and looked down. Satisfied, he bit Du Ze’s collar and slowly climbed down.

It was dark in the crevasse and the silver dragon’s enormous body blocked out the light. Du Ze couldn’t see anything as Xiu climbed down through winding paths and then entered a huge cave. Although Du Ze could feel a gentle breeze as air entered the cave, the light did not penetrate inside. Du Ze opened his eyes in the dark; even though his eyes had adjusted to the dark for a while, he still could not see anything. Xiu did not know why did not cast magic to light up the cave. The complete darkness made Du Ze feel very uneasy, as though there was some kind of fierce beast lurking in the dark, eyeing him.

His foot made contact with hard stone; Xiu had put him down. Du Ze turned around to look at Xiu but all he could see in the dark was a difficult to discern pair of dark red eyes.

Du Ze automatically called out: “Xiu?”

The silver dragon can see even in the absence of light. In the dark, the silver dragon stared at his bewildered “treasure.” His treasure was so small that he could grasp it with one hand - the thought gave him an indescribable thrill. As long as he hid it in his nest and held it in his claws, no one could covet his treasure.

The silver dragon glanced at the fluffy ball on top of Du Ze’s head. Using spatial magic, Xiu sent the small Phoenix away. Because the weight of the fluffy ball is very light and the cave was too dark, some silly, cute person did not realize what Xiu had done. The silver dragon circled around him excitedly, stroking Du Ze’s body with the tip of his tail, but the thick scales weren’t very sensitive so the silver dragon bent down and started to touch the black-haired youth with his tongue.

This man, only he can enjoy.

Du Ze was startled when a soft warm object suddenly touched him. Some silly, cute person’s reflex was to avoid that thing, but suddenly he was pinned down on the ground by the silver dragon’s claw, unable to move. The soft thing was very flexible and went under the hem of his shirt, sliding back and forth on his body. Du Ze finally realized it was Xiu’s tongue. It pulled on his clothes until the clothes on his upper body were torn off. Du Ze tried to grab some pieces of clothing to cover himself. In the dark he couldn’t see what exactly Xiu was doing, but he heard him panting more and more heavily. The pieces of cloth in his hands told Du Ze that his situation this time was not too good.

“... Xiu? You-”

His headphones were suddenly unplugged so Du Ze’s words stopped short. The silver dragon took off his headphones wires and the fragments of his clothing. Once the obstacles were removed, he licked Du Ze’s body with his tongue.For the silver dragon, Du Ze is too small, plus Du Ze was pinned down by his claw, so his tongue can only lick a small part of him. He could only taste part of him and the more he licked the more he wanted to taste, like licking an addictive poison. The silver dragon panted as he stared at Du Ze under his claw. The black-haired youth’s skin was red and his bare upper body had been licked so much that it was covered with a thin film of fluid. His taste and his looks are both delicious and seductive.

Some silly, cute person trembled as he looked above him. He thought that Xiu had not been affected by the fruit, but now it seems that he was still too naive. The protagonist is in heat. The reader normally likes the kind of YY plot where the spring medicine (an aphrodisiac) is used and the harem is in the same room as the protagonist … but now the bitter reader was forced to deal with the spring drug himself. He felt despair at the thought of the Moe Lord being fed an aphrodisiac. He doesn’t mind helping Xiu but ...the size difference this time is just too much! Ah!

His entire body was the size of one of the Moe Lord’s hand.

Du Ze swallowed his saliva and he stared at that pair of dark red eyes. Even if his headphones have been removed, he thought he could salvage the situation.

“Xiu--”

Du Ze had just spit out a word when his voice was immediately cut off as his pants were torn off. That warm, soft, damp tongue wrapped around his lower body. That flexible, soft, slippery tongue delicately caressed the skin of his thighs and swept across his skin, not leaving even the slightest gap. Du Ze felt as though all his pores were blocked and even suffered from the illusion of being suffocated.

Xiu's eyes were becoming redder and redder. Du Ze's taste strongly stimulated his senses. He knew how warm and beautiful this person's body will tightly wrap his desire and then contract delightfully. The silver dragon groaned and turned Du Ze over to his side. He couldn’t help it, he wanted to copulate with this man, enter his body, and pound into him. The dragon’s sex was exposed. The front was forked. The darkness blocked Du Ze’s vision so some silly, cute person did not see the thing that would have scared him out of his wits. Xiu kept caressing his thighs back and forth with more and more force and impatience.

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