burning-burning-burning

[burning-burning-burning]

The ghost of old memories

A young Shadow listens, helpless and half-conscious, to scientists talking over his head about the anesthesia for a procedure they're about to perform.

Wrote a little thing, don't know yet if I want to write a one-shot for it or a little comic on my art blog. Decisions, decisions...

[burning-burning-burning]

Hey there!

4th Vet Student | 26yr | F (she/her)

Under the Keep Reading line, you'll find links to my other blogs and a sorted list of original art posts. To summarize: this is my writing blog, primarily fanfiction, and I can't be held responsible for the chaos that ensues here, we good? Aight-

Links

Primary - Spriggina

Writing - The Green Eyed Girl

Ao3 - FedExMarauder

These Restless Hearts are Waking

Sonic universe, primarily one-shots with some chaptered fics planned. Sonadow.

Query: Preferences

One of Those Nights

[burning-burning-burning]

One of Those Nights

In which Shadow can't sleep, Sonic can't either, and a restless sort of night might reveal the start of a path to a brilliant shared future. ((Pre-Sonadow One-shot))

The night was peaceful, the sky wide open, and Sonic felt a rare moment of serenity descend over him as he settled himself in his hammock, stretched between two palms outside his and Tails’ home on the beaches of Green Hills. 

He was almost dozing when he heard hear a distant sound, like an air blast breaking over the ground. It was far from him, and yet, when he sat up, he knew right where to look- and what he would see. He grinned.

A yellow-orange light trail streaked across the landscape nearby, coming from the direction of the small city’s downtown area where Rouge’s nightclub, and Team Dark’s shared apartment, was located. Shadow, Shadow the Hedgehog.

But, it was late, nearly three in the morning- where was he going?

Sonic jumped from his hammock and set off, climbing to speed quickly as he entered the sparse woodland path Shadow streaked down. He leapt up a rock wall and continued, following from above. Shadow wasn’t running at full tilt, because Sonic caught up with him easily.

A leisurely jog, just under mach, then?

“Shads! Hey! Where ya headed in such a hurry, huh?” Sonic called down, grinning. As he matched speed with the hybrid, the blur of the light trail gave way to the sight of the man himself. Sonic hopped down from the ledge he had been running to stay alongside the dark hedgehog, weaving behind him to run on his right.

Shadow, skating effortlessly over the ground, snorted and shook his head. “Mind your business, Faker,” he shot back with a glance and smirk. He had been more open to Sonic’s little intrusions since his return from the ARK and the White Space.

Sonic laughed and sprinted ahead, arcing around and in front, forcing Shadow to brake. They were stopped now in a well-traveled path Sonic had always called “Hedgehog’s Pass”, for no other reason that it served as a prime strip for getting up speed.

Shadow didn’t seemed as pissed as Sonic might have expected after being stopped from his run. “Something I can do for you?” he asked, boredly, and crossed his arms over his chest. His brow was furrowed, but he seemed relaxed.

“Yeah, tell me what you’re up to? C’mon, Shads, I’m bored- if you’ve got wind of some action, I want in!” Sonic said, motioning to himself to emphasize his words. Shadow rolled his eyes, but he was smirking again.

“No action, Faker,” he sighed. “Only needed a run. Restless kind of night, tonight.”

“Yeah,” Sonic said after a moment of staring, hoping Shadow would laugh and change his answer. Another beat, no such luck. So much for a spontaneous adventure to spice up the night. “Obviously, me too.” He blew roughly and stepped back, out of Shadow’s way. “I was gonna sleep, but, well, then this crazy alien-hedgehog came streaking by my house so, I guess now I’m chasing him instead.”

Shadow rolled his eyes. “Please, I was no where near your hut.”

“House.”

“Same thing.”

“Dude, you lived in a cave for like, two years before Rouge found out and made you move in with her-“

“First of all no one makes me do anything-“

“Fine, fine,” Sonic sighed, crossing his arms and tapping his fingers on his bicep. Shadow was watching him almost expectantly, and it was making his skin feel… weird. Prickly. Bad. Good? He wasn’t sure. He made eye contact, something he was good at and he knew Shadow hated, and that made the Ultimate Lifeform squirm enough to drop his gaze and stop staring. Well. At least he had one weakness, then.

“Hey, so…,” Sonic began, “Since we’re up, and you were looking for a run anyway… you wanna-”

“Thought you’d never get around to asking,” Shadow said, self-important smirk back on his face and already dropping into a runner’s starting position. He looked up and waited for Sonic to assume the same beside him.

Sonic was frozen for an instant at the sight of Shadow before him, strong arms stretched to brace against the ground, powerful legs drawn like a bow ready to be shot-

His ass just ever so temptingly up in the air behind him, whip tail weaving in anticipation.

Sonic swallowed thickly, face flaming, and was thankful for the night for hiding the flush that surely was overtaking his face. He dropped to a ready position beside Shadow, then, as expected, and cleared his throat. Fuck. That was weird. Okay. Gotta act like you weren’t just checking out his ass. His… really cute ass. With that tail- Fuck, when did he get so sexy- Stop. Stop, do not, c’mon, act natural-

“You re-ready, Shads?” Sonic voice creaked. It broke like a pubescent child’s. Oh Chaos please kill me-

Beside him, Shadow made a tch sound. “Always ready for you, hedgehog,” he replied evenly.

Fuck okay that was kind of hot- Nope. No. Race time. Focus. Banter?

Sonic glanced over at his rival and grinned, his eyes drawn once more to the twisting, softly lashing tail behind the hybrid. It had been a few months now since the Time Eater incident; long enough for him to get used to Shadow’s new appearance, he had thought, but, apparently also long enough for his brain to make the association between the tail and Shadow and decide it very, very much liked the sight of the two together. “Haven’t raced you since you got back from the ARK,” Sonic began, voice still higher than usual as he fought to control all the raging hormones in his body telling him to pin the hybrid to the nearest palm tree and claim that ass as his right now. Not that that would end well, Shadow would probably snap him like a glow stick if he tried- Fuck. Don’t think that. Hot. “Hope your new tail situation back there doesn’t slow you down too much; you know, slower than you already were, I mean.”

Shadow snorted and grinned, brows furrowed intently. “Hasn’t hampered me yet,” he replied. “Enough talking- Go!” And he was gone.

“Woah!” Sonic shouted, laughing, and took off after Shadow, both now flying at nearly their top speeds. As Sonic once again caught back up to Shadow, he felt a moment where he was sure time slowed, and he could feel the beat of the earth beneath his feet as his sneakers, nothing more than a blur of red and blue and white, struck off the ground below him. Then there was Shadow, his own legs a blur, yellow-orange light trailing from him as his entire body pulsed with Chaos energy, channeling into his air shoes. He was still grinning, a fierce look of determination on his face, even as he glanced sideways to Sonic.

Sonic didn’t know exactly when the dark hybrid had become so attractive, but, it was starting to be a real problem. If he let himself wander down particularly dangerous paths, he would swear he could hear his heartbeat and Shadow’s sync up as they raced, free and unburdened and wild. 

Fuck, when did he become such a hopeless sap? He grinned back and shook out his quills, trying to leave the confusing mess of feelings to the path behind him.

Their race took them up to the cliffs and over the raised pillar-bridge, to the loop and further still, tireless, infinite as they were. It took Sonic a moment to realize where their feet were carrying them- the Temple Mountain, the old former home of the Paradox Prism. They raced up the mountain side, faster and faster still, weaving in and out from one another- they both slowed, instinctually, at the cave mouth.

Sonic was fine to admit he was a bit winded by the time they had reached the top, and at least mostly from the actual run. Mostly. Shadow, too, was breathing a bit harder, which made the blue hedgehog feel better. Some tiny, rebellious part of him wondered if it was only the run stealing the hybrid’s breath, or something more.

Shadow turned, crimson eyes tracking over the landscape they had just sprinted through. The beach was out of sight over the horizon, as was the small coastal city. All that was visible was forest, and flat cliffs, and starry sky. The hybrid closed his eyes as a soft breeze blew up the mountain side, quills rustling.

Sonic dared watch him a moment longer, his own eyes tracing the broadness of Shadow’s shoulders; the way the muscles of his upper arm made his black fur ripple subtly; his equally well-muscled chest and sides; the fan of red fur and fine quills that now grew from the back of his arms at the elbow like weapon’s blades. His eyes tracked down further, to Shadow’s waist, then his hips- to that damn tail, with its line of long red-and-black quills flowing down his base and its barbed half-spade point, sharp enough to cut. His mouth ran dry, and he had to look away before he made it any further. Though, even still, his mind, unbidden, rebellious, conjured up images of Shadow’s powerful legs; namely, those legs wrapped around him, at his leisure to grab and hold and squeeze before-

Woah, woah- dude. What the fuck-

This new attraction as getting out of hand. He told himself it had been a phase when it started, a product of… he wasn’t sure. He had first noticed it happening before the Time Eater, before the ARK incident and finding Shadow… changed. Maybe it happened after the Shatter event, after working so closely with the hybrid for the first time in years, after finally righting his past mistake and saving Shadow from the falling to the void, and after Shadow returned the favor to save Sonic before he could fade into oblivion. 

Shadow’s eyes were still closed, his arms crossed now over his chest and his ears with their tufts of fur at their tips (something else new, and fuck, Sonic wanted to know just where else on the hybrid’s body all this new fur had grown-) perked and twitched to catch every sound that traveled up the mountain’s face from the forest below. If Sonic was a bolder hedgehog, or perhaps just a bit more of an idiot, he would have kissed his rival right there, on the Temple Mountain, under the crystal skies and cool breeze of a Mobian night.

But… he couldn’t do that. Shadow would never be in his reach, like that. He turned to look back out over the landscape again, ears pinned. His heart threatened revolt if he didn’t give into its disastrous desires, but, he couldn’t- the hybrid only barely tolerated him on a good day, and in times like this, when he was clearly in a good enough mood to be almost… playful, with Sonic. Racing him and teasing him and… It couldn’t be more than that. Sonic could lie and tell himself that was enough, but…

“Hey, Shads, you ever just… I don’t know. Want… more?”

Shadow hummed and opened his eyes. He turned to lean back against the cave mouth wall and looked out over the side of his shoulder at the expanse of Green Hills before them. “No,” he replied at length. “Maybe once, but, now? I’ve got friends, an endless supply of badniks to smash, more complicated missions from G.U.N. if I’m bored… and even a mouthy, annoying rival, to keep me sharp. What more could I ask?”

The hybrid had not looked to Sonic during the exchange until the end, when he cast a teasing smirk the blue blur’s way at the final comment. Sonic snorted and grinned. “Aw, yeah, you know, yada yada, heart you too, Shadow,” he replied. He held the hybrid’s gaze a moment longer before Shadow turned back to look over the landscape again.

Shadow gave a sigh. “No,” he continued, “I… I think I’m finally content.”

Sonic felt himself deflating inside. Well. That answered that, he supposed. Content. Happy, with no more need for edits or exchanges. His ears pinned, though he forced them back up and plastered his signature smile back on his face. Nothing was lost, really- whatever this… physical draw was on his side of their equation, it didn’t matter if it was reciprocated. It would fizzle out soon and everything would go back to normal; they would just be… best rivals, as they were now, and nothing more. And that’s enough.

…. It… it’s not, though, is it?

Feelings threatening to overwhelm him, Sonic shook out his quills and stepped up to the edge of the cliff again. “Hey, space-age, got your breath back?”

Crimson eyes, brilliant and glowing with their own intensity in the darkness, locked on emerald green. “Never lost it, Faker.”

Liar. “Great!” Sonic said, brow furrowing in a close approximation of the intense determination Shadow typically wore on his face. He grinned toothily, daring the hybrid, and dropped to a stance. “Then… rematch? If you’re ready?”

Shadow was already by his side, mirroring him perfectly save for the wavering, weaving tail he could not seem to keep still. Sonic had to wonder what it meant, it’s positions, its waves and snaps- Shadow, so hard to read, maybe this was his Rosetta Stone. “Born ready.”

“You weren’t born-“

“You know what I meant!” And the tail cracked, whip-fast, just behind Sonic’s head.

He really, really hoped Shadow didn’t read too much into the way he felt his pupils dilate at that, or how his breath caught in a spasm in his chest. His eyes met Shadow’s again just as the hybrid turned to face their track, and he thought he caught… alarm? Was Shadow… flustered? Sonic blinked, and, no, no he was seeing things correctly, he was sure. He turned back before he could be accused of staring, but, he had seen what he needed. The quick pinning of Shadow’s ears, the jolt from his breath leaving him all at once. If not for the dark of night around them, Sonic could even be convinced that a flush had darkened his cheeks under the tan fur of his muzzle.

Sonic grin and shook himself. “Alright!” He said, fingers gripping the ground beneath him. Shadow’s did the same, wicked claws that had forced the hybrid to exchange his usual white gloves for damn-near scandalous black fingerless ones scratching against stone, more evidence still of his changed form since the ARK. They still covered his palms, but Sonic shivered at their sight regardless; the sight of the hand uncovered on Mobius so ingrained in his psyche to be sensationally suggestive.

“Ready?” Sonic asked again, quieter, leaning back on his legs, ready for the push-off. He didn’t know himself what he meant by it, but it felt like more than their race.

Shadow’s tail whip-cracked again, a tiny bursting of the sound barrier, like a prelude to the display of speed Sonic knew they were both about to give over to. He looked to Sonic, a firm nod, features set in a sort of nameless ferocity. Something dangerous and unspoken floating between, on the edge of a shared experience neither quite knew how to approach.

One of those restless nights, Shadow had said. Maybe this is what he meant, this stirring of the soul, straining, clawing, desperate to reach out and swirl around its predestined other half. They once ran together, at this place, this sacred mount, to thin the veil between worlds and escape the fates the Prism’s breaking had sealed. This felt no different- a run to thin the barrier between them, escape the restless wanderings of two halves of a broken whole. Sonic felt infinite, under this sky, Shadow at his side and the promise of something jus teasing along the edges of their colliding realities.

“Then… go!”

And they were off again.

Link to masterlist

[burning-burning-burning]

Query: Preferences

In which Omega has questions; Rouge is getting tired of the bullying, quite frankly; and Shadow grapples with feelings he doesn't have a name for. ((Pre-Sonadow One-shot))

“Query.”

Rouge the Bat sighed. Omega, always with the questions… “Go ahead, Omega,” she said, refraining from asking him to ‘shoot’. Made that mistake once- there was still burns on the nightclub walls. Team Dark was in their shared apartment, Shadow cooking them all dinner.

Rouge and Omega, for many reasons, were only allowed to sit at the kitchen barstools and not further while Mr. Ultimate-Lifeform-and-also-apparently-Master-Chef was in the kitchen. Rouge would call him an ass, but, well… his dinners were always pretty good.

Omega took time, something the Team now understood to mean he was formulating the best reply given situational context and learned idiosyncrasies of his teammates. Considering his words, then. Finally, he said, in his unchanging monotone, “Bat, you have interests in many different males as mates, true?”

Rouge nearly spat her wine, and at the stove, Shadow snickered. 

Composing herself while the Ultimate Betrayer shook with the force of a contained laughing fit (she wondered when it would be normal, seeing Shadow laugh like that? So at ease, since his final confrontation with Doom and letting Maria go, at last), Rouge replied, “Omega that’s- that’s not a polite question…”

“So it is false, then? I have miscalculated.”

Shadow, composed enough to get back to stirring the stew he’d been simmering, smirked again. “He’s calculated, Rouge,” the hedgehog said, arching a brow and sending his smirk the bat’s way.

Rouge made a face at him and he want to back to cooking. Rouge sighed. “Ah, no, Omega, I, I suppose it is true, I have a… broad ‘type’.”

“Of potential mates?”

Rouge’s face burned. “No-! Oh, fine, yes, Omega, whatever you’d like to call it. What’s the point of this?”

Omega whirred, considering again. “Despite a broad preference set, you have never expressed interest in Shadow. True? And if true, my query is why?”

Rouge’s turn to grin, then. Shadow’s ear pinned uncomfortably and his nose curled. “Move on from this topic, please,” he droned.

“No, no no no, you were all cackles and grins when I was the one squirming, your turn, broody!” Rouge said, nearly standing in her seat and pointing at the hybrid. He only glowered at her.

Rouge sat back down and settled herself, smoothing the oversized t-shirt and soft shorts she had changed into for the evening. “Shadow… doesn’t really fall into my ‘preferences’, Omega. No matter how broad they may be.”

“Thank Chaos…,” Shadow muttered. Rouge ignored him.

Omega whirred again. “He is male, organic, and breathing?”

“Omega-!” Rouge shouted, before taking a breath and composing herself, again. “Shadow is… like a brother, to me. So, that’s trumps any… preferences.”

Omega continued staring at her, something he knew made her uncomfortable, which would make her keep talking to fill the silence. Damn him.

“Uh… and I mean, well, maybe I’m not Shadow’s preference, either, you know? That’s important, too,” the bat continued.

“I understand,” Omega toned. “Shadow- query.”

The hybrid threw up a hand as though to block the question. “Oh no-“

“Answer his question, spiky!” Rouge admonished. “You know he won’t drop it until you do.” Shadow threw his head back and groaned, then looked back to the robot to glare. “Fine. Go ahead, Omega.”

Omega whirred, and Rouge saw a light behind his eyes that usually indicated he was administering a threat level analysis. At least he knew to check. Deciding the danger, for now, was minimal, the robot continued, “What are you preferences?”

“Telenovelas over action movies, classic literature over modern. Enough?”

Rouge snorted, and Omega whirred as he worked to process the information and assess why the hell that answer was so non-conforming to the dataset he anticipated. “Apologies,” he said at length, “I was misunderstood. What are you preferences in mates?”

Shadow growled low in his throat and turned back to the stove. His tail, now long and ending in a bladed spear ever since he had unleashed his Black Arms genetics, lashed quietly behind his legs. “End query,” he said darkly, tufted ears pinned.

“But my data is incomplete-“

“End. Query.”

Omega whirred defiantly. “Hedgehog-“

“It’s alright, Omega. You can’t force people to complete your data,” Rouge soothed. She looked to Shadow, who was still turned away. “But I am curious, now, Shadow. Maybe it’s down to the Black Arms why you don’t seem to have any attraction to anyone, yet? You certainly have plenty of option, women love a bad boy, after all.”

Shadow was quiet a moment longer, still tense. “…It’s not the Black Arms DNA.” He was still stirring, slowly. Consider his own words, then.

Omega watched his teammates with interest. Rouge was good at getting Shadow talking, even after the hybrid had shut down all others. He wondered how she did that. A query for later, he supposed, and flagged the thought.

“Then…?” Rouge led, arms folded on the counter and leaning forward. “Say the word, baby, and I can have whoever or whatever you want waiting in your bed for you~” She was grinning toothily, enjoying the gentle ribbing. Sometimes it was nice to make the Ultimate Lifeform uncomfortable, and he trusted her enough to let it happen.

Shadow growled again, finally looking back over his shoulder. His ears were pinned and his brow was furrowed darkly in a scowl. “No thank you,” he said. So polite, even in murderous rage. He rolled his eyes and turned back to the stew. “… I don’t know my preference, anyway.”

Omega tilted some in his seat. Ah, back to his query, then? “Define?”

“Define not knowing?” Shadow scoffed, still scowling. “I don’t- I’ve never felt a need for it.”

Omega whirred again, slowly. “Then… new query,” he began. “What aren’t your preferences?”

Rouge grinned and patted the robot’s shoulder. “Good job, Omega,” she praised quietly.

Shadow took the stew off the heat and turned off the burners. He turned to lean against the far counter, arms crossed over his chest, tail flicking in frustration by his legs. He did, at least, seem to be taking Omega’s question seriously enough- after all, it was in the name of finishing a dataset, something Omega felt a strong compulsion to do, and he didn’t mean harm by asking.

He thought of Rouge’s assertions, earlier. ‘Plenty of options… Women love a bad boy.’ The thought was almost chilling, and he wrinkled his nose. Well, there, something he could give the robot for his data. “… I have never felt an attraction to someone of the opposite sex.”

Rouge’s ears perked. “Implying you have felt attraction, before? To someone… of the same sex?”

“Implying what part of I don’t know don’t you understand?” the hybrid growled. 

Ah. Rouge hummed and nodded. “Oh, I see. I get it, now- Omega, Shadow’s not going to be able to finish that dataset for you just yet.”

A whir. Perhaps of disappointment. “I will continue it later, then.” The robot turned and walked off towards the room which held his power station, likely to ‘sleep’. 

Rouge watched him go until the door closed, then looked back to Shadow. “I should’ve known,” she began, “Growing up on the space station and then all the chaos that’s happened since you woke up? You haven’t had time to experience anything, yet.”

“I don’t like how you said experience, please never say it again?”

Rouge snorted. “Hun, I mean any experiences. Beyond fighting. You found out you like reading, and old music, and you’re a good cook- important knowledge to have about yourself. But there’s gaps to fill in.”

Shadow looked affronted. “My memory has been perfectly returned to me, thank you, since after-“

Rouge sighed. “I know, I know- that’s not what I meant.”

Shadow calmed, glad to have the question of his memories settled.

“Shadow…,” Rouge began carefully, ears back. “Before when you mentioned never feeling an attraction to women and that you don’t know if you’ve felt it for anyone else, what did you mean? What makes you unsure?”

The hybrid swallowed thickly and turned his head, arms still crossed tightly, like he was protecting himself. “…Feelings I don’t have names for,” he muttered at length. “They aren’t… good. Or bad. They’re more annoying than anything.”

“Can you describe them?” Rouge pressed gently.

Shadow looked back to her. “Admiration, but deeper,” he said, words slow and careful. “Anticipation. Feeling on edge. Frustration.” Definitions were easy, for him. Words could be easily recited- all these were words that did not fit, but fell close. He had tortured himself over them all at length, finding every one coming up short.

The bat blinked, and her smile softened further. “That’s more than ‘preferences’, Shadow. You’re not gonna like it, but, it kind of sounds like your attracted to someone in particular.”

Shadow snorted and turned to get bowls for the stew. “Ridiculous. Fantasy.”

“What?” Rouge asked, brow furrowed. She flew over the counter and lighted beside the hybrid as he dipped bowls for the both of them. “That you might like someone?”

Shadow glared as he shoved her bowl towards her. “Yes. Now go eat your dinner.” He took up his own and moved to the kitchen counter.

Rouge moved back to join him. “Fine,” she sighed. “We can drop it.”

“Thank you.”

The two ate beside each other in silence for awhile. At length, Rouge said quietly, “But… think about what I said, would you? Shame to let rare feelings like that slip you by.”

Shadow blew soft but didn’t deny her request. He imagined now he wouldn’t have a choice. They finished their stew and worked to put away leftovers, remaining the rest of the night in companionable quiet.

—- —- —- —- —-

Shadow lay in bed that night, on his back staring up at the ceiling. Sleep was hard won every night, but now it eluded him completely.

In his mind, if he closed his eyes for a moment, he could see it- flashes of brilliant blue streaking past his line of sight, too fast even for his eyes to keep up with. Not at a standstill, that was. But in motion?

The blue took shape, and it was so much more. Emerald green eyes joined the form, free and bright, and delicate cream breaking up blue fur. An easy smile thrown over a shoulder, ears back against the rush of air as they teased the edge of the sound barrier. “Shads! Another race, then?”

He should hate that name- he did hate that name. But somehow, from that mouth and in that voice, it sent a frustrating shiver down his spine. Shadow opened his eyes and turned over on his side fitfully, ears pinned. He glared at his clock, 2:00 AM blinking back at him, mocking him.

He sighed and closed his eyes, endeavoring to turn off his mind and the dangerous, confusing thoughts that lingered there.

“Damn blue hedgehog…,” he muttered softly in his sheets. “What the hell are you doing to me?”

Link to masterlist