OBLITERATE YOUR SUPERNATURAL PROBLEMS FOR A REASONABLE PRICE, COURTESY OF THE AMAZING FEMBIT! (AND EVELYN TOO I GUESS)
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"I should be fine besides the poison" GIRL
Okay yeah, when you take out the context it sounds really bad??? I'm perfectly fine though! This isn't exactly the first time she's poisoned me. I mean it still kinda sucks, but I'm not in any danger! It's still kinda weird though. Usually the symptoms of the stuff she gives me lasts a week at most, since our body is pretty good at dealing with poison? But I've been coughing up blood for like a month now, sooo? It's probably nothing lol (:
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Evelyn, are you okay??? What do the notes say??
Oh, I should be fine besides the poison! I'm pretty hard to kill though, so please don't worry about me. The notes aren't anything special, she just wants me to explore some other iterations for her. I've been iteration hopping on her behalf for ages, but she's been requesting more and more areas recently? It's pretty odd behavior for her. She's also stopped taking commissions for our business, which is really weird since that's how she usually entertains herself. Any theories on what she's planning? It's kinda starting to creep me out lol.
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EVELYN!!!!! WE MISSED YOU GIRL
Awww thanks guys! I missed you too <3
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Ah you're probably right! Thanks for the reassurance. Also what a dapper little man!!! I always love seeing your cats (:
Wow, I haven't posted here in a while! Sorry if I worried you guys. I've been feeling kinda under the weather recently??? Like passing out and coughing up blood. So yeah, that kinda sucks. My productivity has been kinda shit lol. The whole apartment smells like chemicals too, and Fembit's been acting weird. Leaving me notes and shit. I'm like 95% sure she's poisoning me lol. I would go see a doctor, but I have no insurance ): So yeah, fml I guess. Any ideas on what she got me with?
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The Evelyn Fanclub wants to know: did you have fun at the mystery house?
Oh I had a great time!!! It's not often I get a vacation lol. Thanks for asking! <3
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Wow, I haven't posted here in a while! Sorry if I worried you guys. I've been feeling kinda under the weather recently??? Like passing out and coughing up blood. So yeah, that kinda sucks. My productivity has been kinda shit lol. The whole apartment smells like chemicals too, and Fembit's been acting weird. Leaving me notes and shit. I'm like 95% sure she's poisoning me lol. I would go see a doctor, but I have no insurance ): So yeah, fml I guess. Any ideas on what she got me with?
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So I went iteration hopping again today! Apparently there’s a Habit that works at McDonalds? How tf did that freak get hired there and I didn’t? Anyway, the location looks pretty normal at first, but once you get into the play place area things get… weird. Things start okay, but the deeper you go, the fleshier things get. It’s all squishy and humid, and it felt like I was inside his body. Ew.
Eventually, I heard this jingling sound nearby, and I fucking bolted? I got a bit lost, and ended up in the kitchen. The jingling was just getting closer and closer though, so I ended up hiding in this big walk-in freezer? And welp turns out that thing was a rift, and when I came out I was in the fucking Winchester Myster House. So yeah, that was a thing. I got lost for a bit (again), but I ended up finding a tour group and tagging along with them. I mean, not the worst way to spend my evening, but it was still kinda nuts. Anyway, please enjoy these pics I took of the place!
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A) Creepy as hell
B) Creepy as hell (and gross too, what are you doing with him?)
C) Creepy as hell, especially with the winky face? Could you not please?
I've been looking through that weird president Habit blog and it's kinda freaking me out? Like I'm gonna sound nuts for this, but he kinda reminds me of Fembit personality-wise. Sort of with the emphasis on image and the need for control? Anyway, please don't vote for him. I have a really bad feeling about him. Yeah, he might seem better than the other candidates, but trust me, that guy absolutely has something up his sleeve. There's a reason he's campaigning that he's not telling you, I've been around Habits long enough to be certain of that. America is shitty enough right now, we can't let him make it worse.
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Okay first of all, how the fuck did you find this post so fast? Don't you have better things to do than respond to random Tumblr posts?
Second of all, this is a really stupid thing to ask, but are you willing to trade to let your Evan go? I mean, you're not occupying his body, so I don't see the point in you keeping him. I'm willing to give almost anything in return.
If you're not willing, then please leave me and Fembit alone. I'm really not interested in arguing with you. I may disagree with you politically, but I'm not here to start shit.
I've been looking through that weird president Habit blog and it's kinda freaking me out? Like I'm gonna sound nuts for this, but he kinda reminds me of Fembit personality-wise. Sort of with the emphasis on image and the need for control? Anyway, please don't vote for him. I have a really bad feeling about him. Yeah, he might seem better than the other candidates, but trust me, that guy absolutely has something up his sleeve. There's a reason he's campaigning that he's not telling you, I've been around Habits long enough to be certain of that. America is shitty enough right now, we can't let him make it worse.
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I've been looking through that weird president Habit blog and it's kinda freaking me out? Like I'm gonna sound nuts for this, but he kinda reminds me of Fembit personality-wise. Sort of with the emphasis on image and the need for control? Anyway, please don't vote for him. I have a really bad feeling about him. Yeah, he might seem better than the other candidates, but trust me, that guy absolutely has something up his sleeve. There's a reason he's campaigning that he's not telling you, I've been around Habits long enough to be certain of that. America is shitty enough right now, we can't let him make it worse.
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Oh, so HE can call you a doormat and it's all good??
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I mean, yeah I kinda am a doormat, but just using that in your hatemail and calling it quits is kinda low effort? If you wanna insult me, I'd like you to at least try harder. Meanwhile, Evan C wasn't trying to be insulting, he just comes off that way because he's being blunt and brutally honest. You were just being rude
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Hey, Ev C here. So, yeah, you're a bit of a doormat (I mean this in the nicest way possible), and as such, I am willing to offer my services to get rid of the annoying anons on your behalf. Such services include, but are not limited to:
- Leaving a burning bag of dog shit on their porch
-Egging their house
- Stealing their dog and treating it so much better than they did
- Gentle arson
Oh, hi Evan C! Thanks for the offer, but I really don't want Janus to have to deal with any of that. I have nothing but sympathy for anyone who interacts with Fembit, and if someone is doing that voluntarily, then their life is already way more fucked than you could make it. I appreciate you trying to stand up for me though!
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I'm sure you're superrrrr happy about being a doormat
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Now you're just being pointlessly mean? It's really immature of you to resort to name calling tbh. Maybe I'm just used to a higher standard of insults from being around Habits tho? Do you wanna try workshopping your hatemail with me? I can give you some ideas for revisions
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Self-pity isn't helping, FYI. Neither's unnecessary sacrifices
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Look Janus, I'm not the one unnecessarily sacrificing my life to a demon. I'm not perfect, but maybe don't throw stones in a glass house? Also I don't pity myself. I'm happy to have the opportunity to help others.
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You do have flaws: you sacrifice yourself too much and you can never seem to notice that you're as much of a person as anyone else. Give yourself a chance, yeah?
I mean I'll try? I just really don't see the point of existing if I'm not helping people. I mean, I have to do good to counteract Fembit's evil, that's just my responsibility. I hope that someday I can find purpose outside of saving others, but for now this is the best I can do. Please don't follow my lead though! My situation is unique, and you guys all deserve to love and value yourself! Maybe someday I'll be worthy of love too
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Stephbit is bestbit, but that's just personal opinion.
Evelyn is bestelyn and that's fact!
Awww that's so sweet of you? Not to get all sappy it's insane how kind and supportive everyone interacting with me on this blog is. I just hope that someday I can be as awesome as you guys all seem to think I am.
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So Fembit’s been asking me to explore other iterations for the past few months? And it fucking sucks. 7/10 times I end up just getting tortured, and the remaining 3 times are usually worse. Anyway, I’m not here to trauma dump, I just thought it might be helpful to you guys to have some info about the other Habits?
So I ended up meeting Fairmount and Stephbit today? I found them in this weird abandoned mall filled with Christmas lights. Fairmount chased me around the mall on roller skates while Stephbit watched and laughed at me? Honestly I thought I was fucked, but it turns out Fairmount was just trying to scare me? It didn’t work until he tried flirting with me, which nearly gave me a heart attack. I think he was joking about that too? Hopefully?
Anyway we all ended up chatting. It was weird seeing Steph again, even though I know she was just a Habit in Steph’s body. It opened up a lot of old wounds. God I miss Steph so much. I had to keep reminding myself that this version is a Habit, otherwise I might have done something stupid. She was so sweet though! We exchanged contact info, and we’ve been talking on discord since.
Honestly the whole interaction wasn’t too bad all things considered! I mean I wish Fairmount wasn’t so fucking horny all the time, but beggars can’t be choosers! I definitely wouldn’t mind working with them in the future! Especially with Stephbit.
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