bunnyapocalips

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If Its In The Cards I Think We Should Play Today

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ponytailtana

and baldtana…

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I did not have a really good sandwich today, but I did think about having one instead

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finding out that ‘dont treat me rough treat me really niceys” is an actual lana del rey lyric and not just a funny meme phrase was damaging enough to my psyche

but then i looked up the lyrics and not only is that line directly after the lyric “drugs, suck it up, like vanilla icies” (rhyming niceys with icies) but also the first line of the song is “my pussy tastes like Pepsi cola”. ms del rey this is disastrous what are you doing

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Two boys talked on the playground about who was stronger: a kitten or a puppy. "For the sake of fairness, let's say they're both the size of a pea," one boy said. "Agreed," said the other boy. "It's only fair."

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Any time someone complains that there's no pain like shipping a rarepair, I'm reminded that, for a time, I was into a pairing whose sole prolific author would open every piece with an author's note explaining that their work contains no trans women, it's merely situated in an alternative universe where sometimes cis women have penises.

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My boyfriend won’t stop talking to me about whether or not I would eat Pokémon steaks. We think maybe Mr. Mime steaks would have white meat and ooze a purple liquid. I feel like you’re the only one qualified to tell us more

listen the ONLY part of a mr mime thats edible are the red spots, and thats ONLY after being properly cooked - if you bite into any part of their body while its still raw youll suffer near immediate food poisoning

luckily, just like red kidney beans, the potential toxins are easily to remove provided you take the right steps

once theyve been safely removed from their inedible surroundings, the larger red spheres are ready to begin working with - its worth noting that the smaller spots on the hands and cheeks also fall into this category, but theyre almost always too small to be considered harvesting by most professionals 

youll want to start by cutting away any flesh thats still directly touching the pale parts; when in doubt, a wider cut is always preferred. better safe than sorry ! one benefit of working with mr mimes is that, along with many others in their typing, their bodies are held together with physic energy and thus dont require deboning

the next part is going to require boiling in a large pressure cooker- some may find it a challenge to to find a pot big enough to host all the parts, so cooking them individually is fine. remember to follow the instructions to the letter

after theyve been removed and dried, an easy way to text if theyre safe to eat is to cut them in half and check the spongy center - a darkened purple core means theyve been boiled long enough, while any lighter, greenish tints means you probably needed a bit more time

once theyre out of the danger range, you can now safely use them in variety of dishes ! their almost mushroom-like texture means they absorb flavors well, and pictured above is one of my personal favorites

THIS guy though, you can just pop em into your mouth whole. its fine

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nobody told me about this goofy run she does when she notices she got seen

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still genuinely incomprehensible to me that people wear shoes indoors. do you live in a mineshaft

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all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

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Thanks Aya

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if your girlfriend is a snakegirl you have to rub her tummy. it's the law. they'll send the UN after you if you don't

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today i got covered in every kind of shit from every animal and it’ll never wash out and then also i was bitten many times by a reptile that was a snake