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maybe if i just stop talking and interacting with people for the rest of my life ill feel better

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baby i could treat you so good you just have to get past my strange and off-putting demeanor and my kubrick stare and my inability to behave like a human and the 40 layers of icy fortress walls i have up and answer my riddles three

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do you ever hang out with someone else’s family and you’re like ooooh. so this is what it’s supposed to be like

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cooking with trauma

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If I had a normal relationship with food and alcohol and drugs and sex and sexuality and money. Then I would probably feel a lot better

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NOW I AM BECOME AVOIDANT. DESTROYER OF POTENTIAL CONNECTIONS

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It's like we all collectively forgot as a society that friendship and just connection in general takes effort. Even if you meet someone you immediately click with, it takes hanging out about 20 times (!) to become friends. And guess what, some of those 20 meetings might be awkward or unimpressive.

We all want to reap the benefits (having a friend circle, having a partner, getting married) without doing the work (going to events, interacting with people, learning to handle conflict maturely, dating). Myself included. If I could, I'd never leave the house or go on another mediocre date again... except, that's part of the process.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, the cure to the loneliness epidemic is touching some grass and building tolerance for tedious in-person interactions.

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Sweet days ..

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Can’t draw my normal stuff rn so I drew this instead

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i fucking hate how i get attached to temporary people

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I'm coming to realize how vital it is to keep a running list of shit you did in the past few weeks so that you can participate in small talk. It's literally not anything to do with them being interesting at all it's just having Something to say to give people even the barest thing to hold on to. It's so you don't get into the "what have you been up to" "nothing much what about you" "yeah same" trap. Literally just say something.

What have you been up to? Um well it's getting warmer so I've been having to brush my cat every day.

Like no it's not that interesting of a thing to say. But now they can respond to it. They could say, man yeah it really is heating up, I've been trying to think of things to do inside more often. Or, oh you have a cat? What's their name?

Like. It's Something. All you need is Something. And if you're like me and your brain immediately goes blank upon entering small talk then keeping a list will help you remember things to say.

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pay attention to how your body responds to people, how your emotions shift, how your energy changes, and what thoughts come up when you’re around them. Whether it’s something with them, or within yourself, may your intuition guide you and your boundaries.

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mmm oh I can't think about that or I'll die