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Had a sudden desire to draw Josephine in cute little outfits. Surrendered to it 🫡

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Today's Card Is: Look at This Shit

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i go to the shop and I ask if they have any raspberries. they say no, they used to sell raspberries, but they haven't had any in stock in the last 15 years. I ask if there's somewhere else I can go to buy raspberries. They say no, with confidence and pride, they're the only shop around who has ever sold or will ever sell raspberries. Other shops might sell other fruit, sure, but they have a monopoly on all raspberries forever. I ask if they're possibly planning on them selling them again in future? they say they can't tell me that.

on the way home, I encounter someone eating raspberries. I ask and they tell me that they grow their own, they got some seeds from the shop back in The Raspberry Days and kept them. They take me to a field of many beautiful raspberry plants and invite me to pick my own, they're free for all the town to pick whenever they'd like.

someone comes up behind us. It's the shop manager, President of Nintendo Shuntaro Furukawa. he hatefully throws a bob-omb that blows up and kills both of us instantly for stealing 200 trillion dollars worth of potential Raspberry Shop That Doesn't Do Raspberries Anymore profits that they weren't making and then he turns around to the camera with a big thumbs up and says don't do piracy or something ok please

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Me: im trans

Snake: Hrm... trans huh? give me a moment

Snake goes into a box and calls up his husband

Snake: Otacon, this lady dropped a piece of intel in regards to herself, do you know what "trans" means

Otacon: Snake, that's short for the term "transgender" a phrase used for those who's identity doesn't align with their asigned sex, some use hormones or surgery to better fit their lifestyle

Snake: Chemical and Surgical modification huh? they're like supersoldiers but they choose to change to fight for their own spirits rather than a nation...

Otacon: Remember snake, being "trans" is an umbrella label, many in the community identify beyond our common gender binary, including traditional cultural gender roles or wholly new ones

Snake: A wide variety of genders, such diversity not only make them unpredictable but increases practical versatility, impressive stuff

Otacon: oh this is just like Lily Hoshikawa from my Japanese animes

Snake leaves the box

Snake: You're pretty good huh? this trans stuff sounds intense, you have my support as a fellow soldier

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What does “deadbeat fujoshi” mean in your bio?

I force those 2 guys to kiss and then I neglect them emotionally and physically

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i literally feel like im going to be sick trying not to laugh at this at my desk like i feel faint

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I’m watching Splash (1984) which is a romcom about a guy who falls in love with a mermaid, and when she chooses a human name she chooses Madison and guy says “that’s not a real name, but alright” which seems to imply that Madison was not a name until at least the 80’s and all girls named Madison are actually named after the mermaid. thought you should know

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why are "your icon would" games so fucking boring tell me how you'd feel if you met your icon and they punched you

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this guy in the deadlock discord server keeps posting gameplay clips in 5120x1440 resolution and nobody can comment on his gameplay because of how distractingly bad his aspect ratio is

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Smells like dog surgery...

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i can't stand these new fountain machines they dispense watered down piss

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i imagine having sex is a bit similar to tanking in overwatch.

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tell me my prof didn’t upload the reading by photocopying his kindle reader page by page

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