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bucktoothymzkr · 9 months ago

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Generic Love Story 1-2

Astronomy club? Did I hear that right? No, I heard that perfectly fine. Of course I did. I faced her, I read her lips and answered her question truthfully, “There is no astronomy club.”

But to think that she would ask such a question.

Was she interested in the subject, or did she ask it out of consideration for the place that she’s currently in.

That has to be it, right? She must’ve been no different from the other people around me. All hopeless when it comes to Astronomy, all judging eyes when it comes to me, that is until she opened her mouth once more.

“No,” she said, “There has to be, or else this place wouldn’t be so clean. Or else you wouldn’t be here.” There was an obscene conviction in her voice, as if she wanted to convince herself more than she wanted to convince me.

But it was the truth of the matter.

And I felt Like I was a heartless degenerate for telling her that.

“That is the truth, we’re both trespassers here. They shut down the astronomy club long before I came by. Some said it was because of ghosts, others say it was a health and safety hazard.”

“But what do you say?”

“I’d say it’s because people don’t look at the stars anymore. Or rather, they see themselves as above it. That space is a childish aspiration dreamt up by the utterly deranged who can never let go of their past.” I grip my utensils tighter than I ever could, they seem to wound my palm, ever so slightly. But I let go quickly, all that manic rambling would’ve weirded her out. And there was no noise, I wouldn’t be surprised if she had just up and left.

Though she didn’t, of course. She was kinder than that.

Instead, I heard her humming.

Humming a beautiful song I couldn’t name.

“Then perhaps we should encourage people to look at the stars, no?”

“.....” Look at the stars? Was she crazy? It’s not advisable--at least on my own merit-- to advertise an astronomy club. The place is precarious enough already, and being here is tantamount to trespassing. And besides, has she not seen how those people glared at me whenever I bring it up?

“I’m sure there’s someone else out there, other than us, that would love to gaze at the stars…” She sighed as I kept silent, “Do you have a favorite constellation?”

I don’t want to respond to her. I don’t want to continue this conversation. Truth be told, why was she having this conversation with me anyway? I am but a stranger, one that she just happened to bump into in the entrance of the school. One who, if not for the circumstances of her being lost, wouldn’t have met me again anyway. She could freely just ignore me, she could simply walk off with all the other people in this school who can do something far greater than I can. So why? Why did I respond? “Ursa Minor. It’s easy to spot with its panhandle and long tail. And because it’s very convenient with finding Polaris. The north star. It’s… well, once you see the truth North you see it all, right?”

A soft half smile appeared on her face as she looked at me without speaking a word for the longest time.

As if, in some manner, she was trying to digest what I had said.

But she shouldn’t, but she did.

How could I ever hope to understand her?

“Then I assume the north star is your favorite out of all the night stars.” I seem to want to emphasize again just how calming her voice feels against the reverberations of the empty observatory. It is as if each vocalization was being carried along by the wind, and it was wonderful to my ears.

Terribly so.

It seems that by that point, my fascination with her was beginning to develop far more than what I would expect.

“It is. Well, what about you?”

“Hm… Have you heard of the Summer Triangle?” She looked into the dilapidated ceiling of the observatory. Full of holes that one would think it’d collapse at any moment, and yet they were spaced out so casually that they seem like individual stars.

Then she pointed at one of them and called it Deneb.

Then she pointed at another and called it Altair.

Then she pointed at the last one and called it Vega.

She giggled.

--“Seems that this place is full of stars after all. Though I’m sure you know of it.”

“Even those who don’t care about the stars know of it. But then again most of them just know it as the stars behind Tanabata day.” I said. She remained with a distinguished half smile and continued to eat.

After a while, she spoke again, “I’m going to re-establish the astronomy club. Please, join me on it, Shinji.” Her voice was firm, almost commandingly direct. Even then, it didn’t terrify me as much as regular authority figures do. It almost felt homey, like a dear friend telling another to be somewhere for a meetup after school.

Wait… a friend?

Is that what she is to me?

Is that what she’s establishing herself to be?

Seems implausible, evil even. She shouldn’t do that to me.

“What’s your plan here?” I had to ask.

“Hm?” That was her only response as we sat around in silence for a whole minute. She left that question hanging in the air.

She knew what she was doing.

Absolutely does.

But it could’ve been because she was chewing her food.

But she was definitely taking her sweet time with it.

Then, a dreadful swallow. I still had no clue what she was eating.

“Hm… it’s because you and I have a shared interest in astronomy. Shouldn’t we stick together then?”

This troubled me. Terribly so. I stood there in silence for a few minutes, trying to formulate in my mind a proper response. But there’s no proper response, only a dreadful melody that plays in my head. What was it? Beethoven’s Symphony No. 5? A tasteful tension that existed between no one and I.

I realized that it had been 2 minutes since she gave her reason.

She looked at me.

She expected a response.

I gave one.

“I-I don’t know you as much to put my trust in you. I appreciate the invitation but--” Wait, what am I doing? Why am I rejecting her? Is it because I put up massive walls against everyone for not abiding by what I like?

Is that how low I’ve gotten?

But the risk is still there, there’s a reason why that wall exists. All the snide remarks, all the selfish egotism. It didn’t exist in a vacuum; and yet she looked at me. With a curious gaze, tilted head, and a mouth about to open, perhaps to ask what’s wrong.

I continued, “But it would be best if you-”

“If we.”

“If YOU gathered more people first.”

She chuckled, “I tried. I’ll take note of it, Shinji. Please, come by here tomorrow. I’ll make sure not to disappoint you.” She finished her lunch and packed it. Though instead of leaving, she remained.

I wanted to ask her why she stayed there, but I’d rather just finish my lunch. She wasn’t speaking anyway. But now I'm left in a peculiar position.

One that I never expected to be in in highschool.

“Aren’t you gonna ask why?”

Huh? Was she talking to me? “Are you talking to me?”

“There’s no one else here, Shinji. Of course I’m asking you.” She stared out the window as she said those words and hummed a song I don’t know.

“But why what?”

“Why I loved the summer triangle.”

“………”

Well, it’s obvious isn’t it?

“Because of Tanabata day?”

“Of course.” She laughed a bit, was that supposed to be a trick question? “It’s a lovely story, isn’t it? A weaver girl falling in love with a cowherd, to be separated in their loveliest by the stars themselves? How terrible it must be to rain on the seventh seventh. That she would cry, for she would be separated a year more, or longer.”

As she spoke it seemed as if the parted clouds of such a sunny day coalesced upon our town, and soon, it rained.

She let out a sigh. As if she was a person that could control the weather ever so temporarily, and never again.

I finished my lunch and packed it, “Hopefully it won’t rain then.”

“The festival is only a short while’s away. I really hope it won’t.” She turned around, looked at me and smiled. Smiled as the wind brushes along her entire form, a familiar sight from earlier but a lot more beautiful now, “Take me there, okay?”

Why me?

God, but why me?

Before I could ask, the bell rang. And we both went on our way. Or at least she did.

I just stood there, stunlocked for a while.

A long while?

A short while?

Didn’t matter. I’ve made a friend.

#writing #writeblr #romance

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bucktoothymzkr · 9 months ago

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Generic Love Story 1-1

Hello everyone! I offer to you a generic love story. Please enjoy it! And if there are any issues, please let me know.

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If you asked me what her flaws were, I could spend a week talking about it; but I can spend an eternity talking about what makes her beautiful regardless. And I don’t think that’s enough. I recall when I first met her. It was a dreary morning, the ear-damaging shrieking of Cicadas drew through the air. I was in highschool then, which was to say, I wanted to look forward to something rather than stagnating in this little idyllic town that I live in.

No, it’s better to say that I have something to work towards, but I don’t know what it is. Perhaps attending highschool then was me lying to myself that I had to work for something to make my life worthwhile, despite not truly knowing what it was or what it could be. Just another lie to myself. In any case, the awful heat permeated throughout the world, but a calm breeze blew against the trees of the forest that surrounded this hill town. It wasn’t so bad, it wasn’t so good.

I walked inside the school’s grounds, which, if it weren’t for the noise of children inside, would look more like an abandoned building than anything functional. The cement that held it up had visible cracks everywhere, overgrowth upon one side, no, every side. It was as if the gardens and greeneries that surrounded the school had been left abandoned for a decade, and rather than dying, it thrived. Nature found a way. I found no issue with it, I don’t think anyone has an issue with it. The towering shrubs make for great shade to cool down under during the summer months.

Though, at the same time, it blocks one’s view from the side ground floors. Which means, before you reach the main door of the school, if you don’t look before crossing, anyone may bump into you. And you won’t even notice until it’s too late, deers get stuck in the headlights, but you won’t even see a headlight.

That is to say, I’m a weak, frail, scrawny man. And any significant bump by a person twice my weight or even less can knock me over.

That is to say, I did not see her.

Or, rather. I wasn’t even aware of her presence until it was too late.

It’s a tautology, I know. But I want to exaggerate on it more, dear reader. That when she bumped me, I was thrown two hundred meters away. Across houses, across fields, across the universe. That was how hard she threw me down on the floor. All bones broken, not a single fragment of my soul remained.

But it all came back when I stood up. A shadow loomed over me, one that was equal parts terrifying and beautiful. Her blonde hair flowed along the breeze, seemingly dancing as her pale hand reached out to me. I couldn’t see her face properly, blocked by the shadow she casted, “My, my. Sorry, I didn’t see you. Are you okay?” I grabbed her hand and my mind immediately raced at how soft and cold to the touch it was. A massive contrast to the ambient heat, as if she just left a human sized refrigerator.

And when I stood up, I realized that she was as tall, if not taller than me. Her eyes were blue, and she had a fair countenance. A look of worry washed over her, perhaps due to the circumstances of our first meeting, “I’m alright!” I replied, trying to alleviate any sort of worry by appearing chipper and fine.

I noticed then the clothes she wore, a long sleeved cream sweater and an ankle-length beige skirt. All that combined, she was beautiful. And her voice, soft, yet substantial, felt like music to my ears. To say that she fascinated me at first sight would be an understatement.

You read that right. Fascinated.

I was not in love.

Not yet at least. That would take a while to happen. All that is to say now is that I know she exists, her presence now took form in my life. And anything can happen with it. Hell is other people, after all. The things they do, indirectly or directly affects us, changes us, and we can’t do anything about it other than to accept. It’s frustrating. Disheartening, almost makes you question the free will you have over this world. How is it free will to be so restricted by the society around you? Or is it free will that you can choose to ignore all of them? The option is always there after all.

I let my mind wander often towards the dumbest things. It was not until I snapped back to reality where I realized how long I’ve held her hand. But it seemed she didn’t mind the overly long mode of physical touch, “I’m glad. That seemed like a significant fall.” Yes, it was significant, I felt my soul and breath get knocked out of me, but it’s fine now, “Still. You need to be careful. The shrubbery here makes it difficult to see anything passing by.”

“I-i’m well aware. Just not this instance.” I gave off a pathetic chuckle. And now, terribly, to avoid making her feel any less terrible, and because she seems to be holding my hand for far longer than necessary, I introduced myself, “My name is Shinji Satou, I’m a new student here. How about you?”

It felt ridiculous asking someone’s name like this after they just bumped you so hard your soul gave in. But nevertheless this is what I read when it came to casual conversations and socialization. I’ve been a recluse prior to this, and to say that I’ve no one else to call a real ‘friend’ would be an understatement. Really, I locked myself in my room and read to my heart’s content. That’s what my life is up to this point, a selfish book-filled fantasy.

Nevertheless, she shook my hand, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Anna Tsubaki. Also a student here, and again, I must apologize for that awful bump.”

I chuckled, “It’s fine, it’s fine.” I pulled my hand away. I felt like I was intruding far too much now, relishing too much upon her kindness to even grab my hand in the first place, “That said, this is the first time I’ve seen you here.” Considering how far detached this place is to the rest of the world. It seemed weird to see someone so… worldly (at least in appearance) being here. It was not as if I was averse to foreigners. She did look exquisitely foreign, and it was the first time I’ve seen one. Maybe that’s part of why I’m so surprised. I’ve lived all my life in this narrow world, only seeing glimpses of the outside through the internet. And now there’s one person in front of me that looks traveled.

“Oh, my sister and I moved here last month.” Just before school started again. And before she could speak further, we heard the bell ring from inside. We knew then that our time for pleasantries was over, as we gave each other a silent bow before we made our way to our respective classes.

The first day of this school year was unimaginably boring. For one to begin to describe it would be akin to describing how a paint dries over a period of fifty days. It’s not as if I detest the people around me. Quite frankly, it’s only because I find nothing out of them. All terribly superficial and shallow. One likes to read, another likes to play sports (actually at least fifteen of them do), and I, of course, am the only one there that takes a quiet interest in astronomy. And as I declared that to the class, they all looked at me funny, weirdly, perhaps terribly. Their wordless scorn which was blatantly unfounded had not escaped me. I am, once again, an outcast of this world.

Not that it matters.

Not to me at least.

They all felt superficial. A shallow form of the self created and built to be liked by others, by the norm of the social circle they wished to partake in. If it were any different, I wouldn’t be so lonely. If there were people like me in this class, I wouldn't be so lonely. But as it stands, I am alone, I am the outcast in their garden of eden. But it’s alright. I do not wish to participate in it. Let them party, let them have their cake. I, alone, will be alright.

Even still, admitting that hurts. That because I was raised differently from others, I’d be so outcast and isolated from them. But it shouldn’t be so weird, right? It’s astronomy. Do they not look at the stars at night? Do they not see the constellations and the way they form? Do they not see the north star to guide them in the right direction? I do not know. But even saying that, I form myself to be a hypocrite. At least, in one aspect.

That is because I’ve never seen Polaris.

I’ve seen numerous constellations ever since I started looking at the stars.

But never Polaris.

It always eluded me, that dear north star. And maybe I’ll find it eventually. Even if it’s always just out of reach, always just below the horizon.

The bell rang eventually, and the weight of all that has happened was lifted off of me. Lunch break was here, and I could indulge upon the perks of my isolation. That is because I partially own some land here in the school. Well, I say that but it’s not because I truly own it, but rather because no one else does. I reached the fifth floor of the school and stumbled down upon dilapidated hallways that served as the artery of abandoned classrooms. As one steps deeper in these hallways it feels like one is being watched. Though I’m used to it.

Every step up here is a creak. If you look into the classrooms you would see piles upon piles of abandoned chairs, desks, and tables stacked upon one another. And there was one classroom in particular that entices me.

It’s much the same view. Abandoned, dusty, piles upon piles of desks, chairs, and tables. But one stood upright against the pile. No, it felt like the pile was specifically made to avoid that chair. All seemingly trying to crawl away, through the walls, through anywhere. Anywhere but that room. That said, that room had not been touched in over a decade now as far as I’m concerned. And this entire section of the school had been abandoned due to some major mishaps that occurred during one school year.

But I digress, I came here because at the end of this hallway to the right, was another set of stairs. And if you climb it, you’ll eventually reach a closed door. Open it, and you’ll be greeted into the abandoned school observatory. A nice, tranquil environment separate from this outside world that I am a part of. Separate from the sportsmen, separate from the shallow ingrates that roam my school and my life. Do I sound bitter? I do, don’t I? Don’t think too much about it. There’s a reason I remember these days fondly, and why I talk about it in a bittersweet way… Let’s continue,

Half of the reason why this place was abandoned is due to prior superstition. Be it feng shui, or the ghost of researchers and students long passed. And really, I’m a man of science. So such things don’t affect me. I lay down my lunchbox, took a blanket out of my bag, and decided to picnic upon this observatory.

Its windows are open, and from up here I could see the rest of the school’s courtyards, the town itself, and beyond. Like the green mountains that surrounded us, or the city in the far distance. I try to relax while I’m here. Though it’s a dusty place, even after I tried my hardest to clean it up during my free hours. Do you understand how difficult it is to clean a place filled with such delicate instruments? Or doing so and hiding it from the rest of the school in the first place? It’s terrible. And often I felt it beyond me. But it was one thing I would do to have a better workspace.

Today, my lunch consisted of my mother’s fried tempura, and black tea. A bit on the simplistic side of things but it was under my own request. And it’s not because I’m on a diet. No, my reasoning is much more shallow. You see, with this minimal setup, I only have to really bring one lunchbox, the teabag, and the thermos. Such a thing made my load much lighter, and thus I can… well, I don’t really know what I could do with such a light load, all I knew is that I wanted one. But forget about that. I’m caught yapping on again.

There’s one important thing that happened in this observatory on this peaceful first day of highschool. And it’s only something I noticed when I looked behind me and saw the color of wheatfields in full bloom. Golden, dazzling and beautiful. She was just standing there, fidgeting, as if confused and lost. It was almost a pathetic sight to see that I couldn’t help but call for her, “Ms. Tsubaki? What are you doing here?”

She sighed, “Thank goodness, sorry. I got lost trying to find the observatory and I’m glad you’re here.” She spoke softly, as if the breeze carried her voice and the weightless birds that flew along with it. As I stared at her I noticed the small leather handbook she carried with one hand, and a lunchbox in the other. Just what was she planning being here?

“This place is abandoned, it’s now just a hangout spot for vagrants and delinquents.” In truth neither of those kinds of people even hang around here.

“But it’s much too clean for that, no?” She was good at this.

“Well, yes. If I want to eat at this place, I may as well keep it clean, no?” I replied back.

“No, it’s cleaner than that. It’s as if you live here.”

I do, well, I wish I did. This was the only place in this town where I could see more of the stars than is possible, what with it being set in the tallest part of the town and all that. “I don’t. But if you insist on eating here, then you’re free to do so.”

She bowed deeply, enough to make me feel ashamed enough to do so as well, “Thank you for having me.” She said as she made her way to one part of the observatory and began to eat her meal.

We sat in collective silence after that. We both ate our meals and I, for the life of me, could not see hers. It had no smell, nor could I particularly look at it. And I never felt to be in the position to ask what it was. No even if I was, I wouldn’t. That’s just the kind of person that I am. Distant with a cause.

Always putting people at arm’s reach. For better or worse, only ever at arm’s reach. Even my mother, my father, my siblings. Anyone who dared to call me a close friend. All of them were only an arm’s reach away. Never closer. Was it to spare me from the feelings of disappointment associated with simply being alive in their presence? I do not know. Nevertheless, she was the one that spoke.

In the prior paragraph, I must add that I was not one to answer questions either. Especially if it isn’t relevant to the matter at hand, or served as a way to dig deep into who I am. I never needed that. My future never needed that. All I could do, and all I could be is someone who could have something to work towards, preferably without anyone else. And that’s why I gave more weight to the nature of her inquiry, “Are you a member of the astronomy club?”

#writing #writeblr #writing community #romance #lovestory #novella

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