bubbbleofthoughts

[bubbbleofthoughts]

Small steps

Not happy with who I am and what I’m becoming. Sick of the pain, sick of doing nothing, sick of waiting for help as I cry in the dark. I rise, now on my feet, still hurting, still lost and confused. I take a step, unsure to where it will lead, unsure if I’m making the right choices. I take another step, slowing trying to move forward, slowly trying to find the light.

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The Growing Anger Within

What do you do when you hate who you are? With each passing day your temper shortens. Wondering why you respond that way when it just tairs you appart, but you cant help it and you don’t understand why. Unable to sleep with so much rage filling your heart, sick of the life you’ve been living and scared of the possible changes. Frustrated with yourself for being so weak and helpless. Your caring heart at war with your angery mind. Unable to think of a happy outcome as you lay awake with tear staind cheeks, hopping that happiness finds you soon.

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Animals

Is my love for animals based on my own lies and delusions?

Am I creating a false image of animals due to my lonelyness and longing for love and happiness?

Would I have had such passion for animals if I had not been hurting and searching for something to fill my emptyness?

I need to remember that the animals have different thought prosseses and they are in fact not as huminised as my mind trys to lead me to belive...

I shouldnt hold such high expectations in these creatures or I will only get more hurt in the end...

[bubbbleofthoughts]

Change

Why dose change scare me so much?

As I sit here depressed, I wonder...

Do I even want my life to change?

I’m painfuly sad and depressed

My heart is full of lonleyniss and longing.

But even so... in this bubble I created for myself I feel safe

Isolating myself away from my fears

Not brave enough to face them

Not strong enough to try

Not to mention the lack of motivation

Even with the tears that fill my eyes

(Sorry for any grammar or spelling errors)

[bubbbleofthoughts]

My Soul

To be born with a soul much to sensitive for this harsh world, always feeling things deeply... such a curse... but it could also be a blessing...

Left with an aching heart and a shattered mentality. The anxietys and depression, too much to bear. The soul is at a low point, but still it fights. It waits for one day where this curse will change into a blessing.

The thought of being filled with an over flowing amount of joy and happyness, to love more deeply then one could even imagin, that is what keeps the soul going... that is the souls deepest desire.

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Live on

Life... oh life, it brings pain but also joy. Even if at the moment your heart is aching, there will be a day were all is finally clear. There will be a day were your heart will no longer be filled with the pains of the past and the longing for a better future. Because one day that future you long for will become the present... at least one can hope... so stay strong threw the rough patches of life. If you feel the need to end your existence you can, but do it tomorrow. If you still want to end your existence then do it the day after. If you still have the same pain the next day then its not to late to end your existence the day after that. If you live your life living each day like that, a good day will definitely come. Then on that day you will say to yourself “its a good thing I didn’t end my existence that day”

Stay strong, for your life can not get better if you are no longer there.

(Sorry for any bad spelling or grammar)

[bubbbleofthoughts]

Mind at War

That night... oh that night, all I could do was lay there thinking. What do I do? Where do I go? Why do I feel so sad? You see, I was at war with my mind once more. So sick of feeling so depressed, so broken hearted, but having no idea what to do about it. Feeling so stuck in place, wondering if ill ever be ok. All I wanted to do was hide under my blankets and cry. As I cried my heart ached, wishing that someone would come save me from myself...

(Sorry for any bad spelling or grammar)

[bubbbleofthoughts]

Hopeless

The noice and the stress finally moves passed, but here I still stay anxious and depressed. Why is it that no matter the circumstance im still not ok? I think to myself... im a deffect, a burden to myself and others, why cant my mind be at peace? Why do I feel so sad and alone? Why is nothing working to fix this? Am I a hoppless cause? I want to be happy, I dont want to feel this way... who would? But know mayter what I try I still keep feeling the same.

(I apologize for any spelling or grammar issues)

[bubbbleofthoughts]

Falling Deeper

Lossing interest in things you once loved, as your hope continues to fade. Not sure what to do or where to turn any longer, just remaining trapped inside your head.

[bubbbleofthoughts]

Peace and Quiet

(Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, this is completely written by me)

A quiet house, oh how nice would that be.

A book in my hand and maybe some T.V.

A hidden room away from the stress, where I could just hide behind my desk.

[bubbbleofthoughts]

The Depression Withen me

(I apologize ahead of time for spelling and grammar errors, This was completely written by me)

To be stressed and unhappy for a long point in time can ware down a person, slowly becoming more and more depressed until the whole is so deep you cant possibly get out on your own. All the great ideas in your head, but the doubts that stop them from being put to action. Felling dumb and useless, you think theres nothing you can do right. You don't understand why you feel so foreign from everyone else, less and less people understand how you feel, in fact you yourself has no clue. The heart ache, the fear, and the lonelyness consumes you. You scream for help but no one listens, some may hear your crys or see your distress, but they brush you aside or watch as they have no way to help. Days pass, even years, but you only fall deeper into the whole of darkness that is depression. Lost and confused, you feel theres no where to go and nothing to be done. You feel like your a hopeless cause, just a hollow shell dreaming of the day a speck of light happens to find you. To scared to end your missrable life there is nothing you can do but wait, eather rot away or if your lucky the speck of light will find you and consume you filling you with the happiness you long for. Day by day the hope you have starts to faid, the pain in your heart becomes to much, slowly numbness takes over, though somewhere inside, event if you dont want to admit it, there's a part of you that still wishs for a day to come where you will be ok.