bsamh-archive

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Surgeon's Log: day 23 of VR therapy testing ALERT ALERT THE CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL IS FLYING! ☁️😅☁️ It looks like I was right, Specimen 13 has been up to something. For now, I have subject 35 ferrying people up and down, but it might help if we get a more permanent solution, like jet packs or something 😊 Let’s just hope he doesn’t levitate the rest of the hospital. Anyway, none of the other subjects I have have yet developed vampirism, and I’m a little dissapointed. Dr. Werner and his crew better get on it 😠

-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Selina Kochs (?) [8/4/2020]

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-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Jim Fish [6/14/2020]

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[Attached comment thread]

Kara Isley: What is specimen 13?

Jim Fish: it sounds scary!!! 😬

Dr. Selina Kochs: Specimen 13 is the child that Dr. Kochs took in as the third test subject. Somehow he seems to have gained psychic powers...

Logan Luevano: Fun Fact: My venom gives you a boner for like 2 hours before you die 🕷

Kara Isley: what about women? > [4 more replies]

Kara Isley: @ Pamela Isley honey I think I might need your help. > [11 more replies]

Surgeon’s Log: day 22 of VR therapy testing So, still haven’t figured out how to remove the header. Whatever. All therapy volunteers with O- blood have been clearly labeled. Totally not trying to turn some of them into vampires... 😉 Specimen 13 is still inactive, but the cracks in the foundation have gotten noticeably larger. It’s probably just me, but I think he’s up to something 🧐 Subject 35 has been collecting a lot of string and honey; I think she’s trying to make a web. Don’t know why she hasn’t just irradiated Logan Luevano and asked him to bite her.

-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Selina Kochs (?) [8/3/2020]

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Surgeon’s Log: day 22 of VR therapy testing So, still haven’t figured out how to remove the header. Whatever. All therapy volunteers with O- blood have been clearly labeled. Totally not trying to turn some of them into vampires... 😉 Specimen 13 is still inactive, but the cracks in the foundation have gotten noticeably larger. It’s probably just me, but I think he’s up to something 🧐 Subject 35 has been collecting a lot of string and honey; I think she’s trying to make a web. Don’t know why she hasn’t just irradiated Logan Luevano and asked him to bite her.

-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Selina Kochs (?) [8/3/2020]

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Surgeon’s Log: day 21 of VR therapy testing So, it occurs to me that none of you know who I am. You may know me, Randall, better as subject 2; I became a ghost (no, I won’t tell you how), and have recently possessed Dr. Selina Kochs’ body. Story time aside, Subject 35 has found a better way of getting what she wants- she’s been shoving children through Dr. Girl’s entropic duplicator-tron. Would help if the kinks were worked out- the process produces a lot of dwarves and half-children 😂 Specimen 13 has lately stopped levitating objects, but I think he’s working on something greater- the number of cracks in the children’s hospital’s foundation is concerning... 😬 P.S. does anyone know how to get rid of the “surgeon’s log” header? I’m not really all that tech savvy... P.P.S. My VR army is growing! Thanks to the duplicator-tron, I now have 22 mindless servants (although 2 of them seem pretty independent...)

-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Selina Kochs (?) [8/1/2020]

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Surgeon’s Log: day 20 of VR therapy testing AHAHAHAHA!! That FOOL of a doctor Selina Kochs should have known that VR mind control doesn’t work on ghosts! Now I, RANDALL, am in control! I have ten mindless drones, as well as a psychic boy and a spider-lady at my disposal 😈 Now I can do whatever I want! First order of business: SURGERIES! And BILLING!!!

-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Selina Kochs (?) [7/31/2020]

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Surgeon’s Log: day 19 of VR therapy testing Subject 35 relapsed today. Found her lair full of half-consumed children and the like; NOT COOL. She will be reprimanded for costing us so much monetary potential 😡 Specimen 13 is apparently now capable of lifting entire FLEETS OF CARS with whatever abilities he has. For safety, wear a parachute AT ALL TIMES ☁️🤞😋👍☁️ Lastly, recent evidence has proven to me that Subject 2 is indeed the one behind the latest incidents in the children’s wing. Fortunately, the VR headsets they are equipped with have mind-controlling capabilities (again, thank you, Area 51), so I will just make him... NOT do that 😇 Also, thanks for all your support- I’ve managed to round up ten more individuals to add to the VR therapy clinical trial!

-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Selina Kochs [7/31/2020]

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☢️We now need to conclusively prove whether this is Selina Kochs subject 2 or some other phenomena. We are starting to get complaints from the janitorial staff about all the blood stains and "ectoplasm" they have to clean up This is why the floors have been so slippery lately☢️ ☢️I wonder where it took the corpse?☢️ ☢️Doctor Boon radiology & biomechanics☢️

-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Boon [7/30/2020]

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[Attached comment thread]

Dr. Boon: ☢I fear subject 2 might be doing more than just sneaking up on people☢

Dr. Selina Kochs: maybe...

Surgeon’s Log: day 18 of VR therapy testing WARNING: Specimen 13 is now capable of levitating hospital beds, I HIGHLY advise installing handles on the walls to avoid floating away ☁️😇☁️ Subject 35 is doing well, she has started giving children rides around the hospital, and she loves showing them her lair! Now if only she would stop losing track of them... Subject 2 has been acting a little creepy lately. I regularly find him trying to sneak up on me from behind; fortunately, the squeaky clown shoes I’ve forced him to wear seem to stop that 😄 no idea where his cow bell ended up though 🤔

-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Selina Kochs [7/29/2020]

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FINALLY!!! The pioneering surgery that none dared dream was possible! As you can see- I am delighted to announce that we have now successfully surgically attached a fully functioning dog’s head- onto a human body. 🙌🏻 For centuries- mankind has longed to be closer to his Best Friend. Now they can both- at last- truly be as one ❤ We have created the perfect being- the bravery, steadfastness and loyalty of a dog- with the body and genitalia of a human. 🐶👖 PRAISE BOB! 🙌🏻🥰

-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Jim Fish [7/14/2020]

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Surgeon’s Log: day 18 of VR therapy testing WARNING: Specimen 13 is now capable of levitating hospital beds, I HIGHLY advise installing handles on the walls to avoid floating away ☁️😇☁️ Subject 35 is doing well, she has started giving children rides around the hospital, and she loves showing them her lair! Now if only she would stop losing track of them... Subject 2 has been acting a little creepy lately. I regularly find him trying to sneak up on me from behind; fortunately, the squeaky clown shoes I’ve forced him to wear seem to stop that 😄 no idea where his cow bell ended up though 🤔

-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Selina Kochs [7/29/2020]

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[Attached comment thread]

Evan Mayone: we didn't get a new supplier who are you

Jack Ruoffs: When I submitted my application for this enterprise I do believe I specified that my specialties were supplying supplies. > Evan Mayone: well i didn’t sign off on it as i’m ceo and head of finance so off to Dr. Callam's ward

Jack Ruoffs: but this is outside my business hours > Evan Mayone: actually you wanna come work for me in finance you’ll actually make money

Samuel Labeouf: 😮 so what he's saying is he wants to be a supply supplier

Karina Solorio: I like you Jack, work for me under administration

Selina Kochs: watch out, he’d probably become an administrator administer > Karina Solorio: that's the goal Selina > Selina Kochs: well then go ahead, you’re the *boss (not including the ALMIGHTY Bob, praise be Thy Name)

Evan Mayone: no he works for me as assistant to the head of finance > Karina Solorio: no he’s gonna work for me as a supplier of supplies > Evan Mayone: no mine > Karina Solorio: m i n e > Evan Mayone: square up > Karina Solorio: 👊😠 > Evan Mayone: fine meet me up on the helipad in 10

Jack Ruoffs: I don’t know who won the fight, but I could easily work under both of you > Karina Solorio: I won 🥺👉👈 > Jack Ruoffs: then I guess I will become the administrator administer. > Evan Mayone: fucking whore > Karina Solorio: 💅 > Evan Mayone: i'm gonna beat you yp

Hello I have just recently joined this enterprise of profit and the worship of Bob, I would like to inform members who see this that I will be providing hospital supplies to those who request them. The following is a process for obtaining your supplies. 1) file a request for literally anything with an attached reason for requiring it at the attached address 2) you wait and I will have procured the requested item within three weeks by which time I may or may not message you to retrieve it from my area of work You may file requests for supplies at catacomb room 6ac If you need help finding it I may eventually release directions for how to reach it once I know the layout of the hospital more.

-- Posted to private hospital forum by Jack Ruoffs [7/17/2020]

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Polite reminder to staff : 1) Bob S Aman is worshipped as a Living God here. All kids are fed to Him shortly after admission. Do not question Him in any way- He WILL eat you.. PRAISE BOB! 🙌🏻 2) BILL BILL BILL! The only thing we honestly care about here is getting as much money as physically possible from our patients and their families & estates. GET THAT MONEY $$$$ 💰 3) COVID-19 IS NOT REAL. It is a hoax that some senior staff members started for a laugh (whilst very high) that got out of control. IT SIMPLY DOES NOT EXIST 🚫 4) You are welcome to work in any department here- but do not claim that you are a Departmental Head or senior staff member without written authorisation. RESPECT OUR AUTHORITAH or get the gag/boot (or readmitted to Psych) 👍🏻 5) Don’t report anything to police- higher ups only! ✅ 6) Recreational drug use here is MANDATORY. Have a great day! 🥳

-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Jim Fish [7/1/2020]

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Hello I have just recently joined this enterprise of profit and the worship of Bob, I would like to inform members who see this that I will be providing hospital supplies to those who request them. The following is a process for obtaining your supplies. 1) file a request for literally anything with an attached reason for requiring it at the attached address 2) you wait and I will have procured the requested item within three weeks by which time I may or may not message you to retrieve it from my area of work You may file requests for supplies at catacomb room 6ac If you need help finding it I may eventually release directions for how to reach it once I know the layout of the hospital more.

-- Posted to private hospital forum by Jack Ruoffs [7/17/2020]

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Surgeon’s Log: day 17 of VR therapy testing Subject 2 can be found wearing a cowbell (🔔) today, so keep your ears alert! I’d also advise that you keep him away from children until we figure out why they react to his presence the way they do. 🤔 Subject 35 is doing okay, today I managed to get her to hold a conversation (though it was with Dr. Boon’s surv- I mean, entertainment bot). If she tries to say anything to you, respond enthusiastically. I’m certain she’s not asking you permission to eat you or anything. 😊 Specimen 13 has begun levitating objects beside himself. First it was a scalpel, but by this point he's managed to lift a therapy dog. If you see him, make sure you have something to hold onto nearby!

-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Selina Kochs [7/28/2020]

(Archivist's Note: This was posted on the same day as the previous entry. Likely done to make up for the last two entries both being a day behind.)

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[Attached comment thread]

Dr. Boon: ☢I have a sneaking suspicion that subject 2 has been giving you the slip and heading to the children's wing too☢

Jack Ruoffs: I'll join!

Surgeon’s Log: day 15 of VR therapy testing Thanks to our new and improved VR headsets (props to Area 51 for the help 👽), subject 35 has finally calmed down and is willing to continue treatment. Though her mental state took a dive recently, I am confident she will recover 😊 PLEASE NOTE we ran out of things to mark subject 2 with, so if you see this week’s mandatory menu walking about, DO NOT CONSUME IT. It is actually a test subject in disguise 🤫 Specimen 13 was found in the children’s hospital speaking in reverse, but that isn’t out of the ordinary. Things are looking good! If anyone has more people that’d make great “volunteers” for the VR therapy trial, HMU. I’m currently looking at expanding the program!

-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Selina Kochs [7/27/2020]

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Surgeon’s Log: day 16 of VR therapy testing I’ve spent the last full day keeping an eye on subject 2 to see if he’s been visiting the children’s wing, as per Dr. Boon’s suggestion. Consequently, I have found that subject 2 has indeed been pulling pranks on patients, and is furthermore capable of moving through solid objects. I will continue to keep you posted on anything new I learn regarding subject 2. 👻👻

-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Selina Kochs [7/28/2020]