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Everyone done working after doing 1hr and on one hand I’m like I want that and on another I’m bitta

Why am I still workin

Cause I have no people skills to be able to chat for 11hrs :|

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On This Day in Cryptid History

May 6th: In 1973, Henry McDaniel claimed to have seen the Enfield Monster for a second time that year. In rural Illinois, McDaniel was startled awake by a howling, and when he went outside to look, saw the monster walking along a railroad trestle near his home.

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hello everyone, hope you enjoy this lab mouse adaptation of Frankenstein; I am completely exhausted

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end of the year mood

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no yeah i cant hang out sorry. yeah im hugging my pillow in bed today. yeah no itll be for a while. maybe for forever. OK bye

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i think the average work schedule should be one hour 

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me at 6 years old playing roller coaster tycoon on the family computer and purposely deleting the tracks when people got on

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defense attorney tiktok rocks

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There are limitations to how much horsepower you can safely run on the street. Lots of people will happily tell you this “fact” when you reveal that your car makes a little more power than a boring commuter car. Where are you going to use all that juice, they ask, when you are stuck in traffic?

It’s a valid question, if you are some kind of loser dipshit. The turbocharger isn’t for when I’m stuck in traffic. No, that shit is for merging. In order to understand the correct tactical application of nearly one freight locomotive’s worth of artificially supplemented airflow, you must first know the mind of the asshole trying (whether deliberately or not) to block my merge.

My opponent – and make no mistake, anyone blocking my merge even for a millisecond is in opposition to my goals and entire way of life – believes that my rusty shitbox is slow, noisy, and smoky. They think that if I get in front of them, the front end of their car will be showered with oil and fragments of piston rings. This is a reasonable belief, mostly because it’s true, but there is also a classism behind this that I find infuriating. How dare this person with a ratty looking car get ahead of me in traffic.

So you see, putting one-thousand-five-hundred brake horsepower of air from a one-hundred-eighty-dollar eBay turbocharger the size of a bull elephant into a wheezing smog-era Mopar engine is essential to reverse this attitude. The sight of my shrieking Plymouth reaching Mach Five in the road length of a gnat’s dick while sounding like a diesel locomotive on methamphetamine is a Teachable Moment about egalitarianism, and our collective obligation as human beings to achieve the maximum level of happiness for one another. Also, fuck that guy. Enjoy wiping aerosolized head gaskets off your windshield.

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Starbucks funded the police in Atlanta so here’s their recipes

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“I love you but I do not feel safe to love you. Do you understand? My heart, it does not feel safe. It feels as though it has the tip of one hundred knives pressed against it. One wrong move and it will be sliced to pieces. So it beats ever-so quietly. Loves you ever-so silently. It buys you mangoes. Kisses your cheek. Reaches for your hand but does not grasp it too tightly. It waits for the knives to recede.”

Sue Zhao