bruisedcarebear

[bruisedcarebear]

lost voices by darius simpson and scout bostley

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[bruisedcarebear]

aita for wanting to talk about Big Things™️ when the other person is completely fine to pretend nothing happened & internalise it all instead. is this not an exhausting way to live, to never face the issues going on?

[bruisedcarebear]

it’s unfair how i have the responsibility to heal myself when i didn’t cause my wound in the first place

[bruisedcarebear]

[bruisedcarebear]

healing is taking too long what if i just kill myself

[bruisedcarebear]

Susan Abulhawa, from Against the Loveless World: A Novel

[Text ID: “I wanted to be chosen, maybe loved. I wanted out of my life, out of my skin,”]

[bruisedcarebear]

I'm like if a girl had the urge to scream and break something all the time but stays quiet instead

[bruisedcarebear]

[bruisedcarebear]

Jenny Holzer, Living: Just One Rotten Spot In Your Head

[bruisedcarebear]

starting to think I'm not hot enough to be this weird 🥺😭

[bruisedcarebear]

this feeling inside me is clawing at my throat and begging me to spit out the words that are choking me but i just can’t do it i just can’t do that and i want to be with him so bad but i just can’t change

[bruisedcarebear]

soemthing about the 🫂 emoji is so viscerally warm to me. despite its blue color pallete. you can feel the warmth radiating off of it. the love. the care. this is the closest to a hug anything virtually simulating it has ever made me feel tbh

[bruisedcarebear]

Would you ever do a poly/ open relationship?

if i’m going to be honest. i would rather kill myself.

[bruisedcarebear]

i’m worried i’m a bad person. i could always be more empathetic, more understanding, more considerate, kinder, friendlier. i could try harder, fight stronger for things i believe in. i’m scared of failing at being good so i freeze and end up being average; not an exceptional friend, lover or person, just barely communicative enough, barely organising my time enough, barely focusing, barely eating well, barely sleeping, barely loving, barely living in the world despite my miracle existence, the fact that i’m alive now in time and space. why am i so scared of it all? i want my mind to be quiet. i want someone to tell me how to live so i don’t get it wrong. i want to love fiercely and unapologetically and i want to be someone who just knows how to be a good person. i’m scared i’ll always be too judgemental, too detached, too unfocused, too comfortable in my awful solitude, too cynical to be happy, too stupid to succeed. i’m scared of forever letting people down so i’m scared to try at anything. i’m terrified of loving deeply and intimately in case i love the wrong people. so how on earth am i supposed to live?

[bruisedcarebear]

always vaguely feeling like im in trouble for something but idk what

[bruisedcarebear]

Bisan's recent post. I think it's important for you to read it. Tonight 03.12.23, journalists in gaza share their last messages. There are no words to describe the horrors unfolding in gaza right now.

I no longer have any hope of survival like I had at the beginning of this genocide, and I am certain that I will die in the next few weeks or maybe days. I have been sick with severe viral infection for days and cannot move from the mattress!

I suffer from nightmares that are so closely resemble reality that I no longer differentiate between reality and dream.

I live in a world other than the one I claimed to be building! I am a community activist who lived on the fantasy that the world was free and just, and I sought to bring rights not only to my people, but to many men and women in third world countries!

I was shocked that I was not from the third world! Indeed, we are the most humane and moral! Yes, because the world approves, supports, and finances the genocide we are being subjected to, legislates it, and gives reasons for for 58 days! While we are a people who have been living on occupied land for 75 years and are still searching for our rights and communicating our voice to the world!

My message to the world: You are not innocent of what is happening to us, you as governments or peoples that support Israel’s annihilation of my people. We will not forgive you, we will not forgive you, humanity will not forgive you, we will not forget, even if we die, the history will never forget .

A Message to friends: Thank you and the supporters around the world. You have been compassionate and very strong. We ask you not to lose hope, even if the world seems completely unfair and your efforts have not yet resulted in a ceasefire.

[bruisedcarebear]

"you can't let the past get in the way of your future" yeah well watch me!