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you have to outlive donald trump

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I just got described as an "ad hating commie" by someone because I said a minute of youtube ads is unpleasant. fully spent 5 minutes arguing and defending youtube ads. insane stuff

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My potato-loving ancestors looking down on me with a smile as I slam the reblog

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How other great detectives would solve the murder of Laura Palmer

Great Detectives solving each others cases is now a series on this blog.  Spoilers for Twin Peaks.

Poirot: First of all, Norma is obligated to order a box of herbal tea for him, because he’s so polite at the diner and compliments her pie but can never drink her coffee without a pained expression on her face.  Anyway, he solves the case based on mundane reasoning- when a girl is showing clear signs of abuse, it’s probably due to her father- and never figures out that demons factor into it.  His summation of the case involves telling basically everyone in Twin Peaks that they didn’t personally kill Laura Palmer but they contributed to her death and should be ashamed of themselves.

Philip Marlowe: Marlowe spends like fifty percent of this case getting roughed up by the Renault brothers, as usual.  Audrey comes on to him and he turns her down, but thinks to himself that she’s a nice kid and it’s a shame she has to do this in order to escape this hellhole.  Shelley sets him up to kill Leo, and he forgives her because hey, someone had to kill Leo and the police weren’t doing it.  He does solve Laura’s death, but only after a lot of interweaving naratives that have no straightforward answers…so, a lot like how Dale Cooper solved it.

Miss Fisher: Miss Fisher quietly offers Shelley shooting lessons, and when Shelley takes her shot at Leo she doesn’t miss.  She actually came here in the first place to solve the Packard killing, in the course of which investigation she has a threesome with Josie and Harry.  Audrey comes on to her and she turns her down, but offers to employ her as her secretary and takes her away from this hellhole to a glamorous life of intrigue.  Finally, she hosts a phony seance to root out Laura’s killer when he starts cackling about how she doesn’t know the first thing about the afterlife.

Sam Spade: Ben Horne hired him to try and solve this case as quickly and quietly as possible, because if the police root around in it too long they’ll unearth all the dirt on One Eyed Jack’s.  Audrey comes on to him and he turns her down, but only after leading her on for like the whole novel.  He does sleep with Josie, and narrowly avoids her framing him for the destruction of the mill.  He only actually solves Laura’s death when a Black Lodge spirit tries to possess him and is interrupted by Leo taking a shot at him.

Sam Vimes: Oh boy, this case would make him sad.  He spends most of the story picking up random objects and commenting “Oh, A Clue” in a disgusted tone of voice.  Personally enters the Black Lodge and has a fistfight with BOB, which he loses but doesn’t manage to get possessed so it’s a moral victory.  By the end of the book, he has arrested basically the whole town.  He hasn’t figured out yet how to arrest a demon, but he’ll find a way.

Kinsey Millhone: Really, really wants it to be Ben Horne.  Considers framing Ben Horne if it isn’t him.  Does not do so because it would mean letting the real killer get away, but isn’t Ben Horne part of that killing, if you think about it?  Gets Sarah Palmer an insurance check for the death of her daughter and eventually her husband, but knows it will never be enough for the loss of a family.  Visits Ben Horne one last time before leaving to tell him he’s an asshole.  Meeting Donna and telling her to consider an investigative career is the high point of her visit.

Sherlock Holmes: How the hell is he supposed to eliminate the impossible here?

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Marguerite Duras - "The Easy Life"

(this whole section is quotable, actually)

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WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Y'ALL KNOW WE'RE IN THE 21ST CENTURY RIGHT

ARE YOU BORED CUZ YOU BURNED ALL YOUR BOOKS THEN GO GET RIGHT WITH YOUR JESUS

This morning there was a nation-wide text spam campaign targeting Black Americans (largely students) telling them that they’ve been selected to pick cotton and will be picked up to be sent to a plantation after Trump’s inauguration.

People online are making jokes about it, but it’s genuinely a disturbing sign. Someone was emboldened enough to intentionally run a background on thousands of young Black people and send them racist messages the day after a very exhausting and stressful election.

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Capybara invasion

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(via kuvltej7ibzd1.jpeg (JPEG Image, 1125 × 871 pixels))

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crocheted this stegosaurus for my nephew who was just borned! made with cotton thread

pattern by Heidibears

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prettybadco

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IT'S SO META

I AM DECEASED

An embroidery of the Wikipedia page for embroidery.

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advice from dad

So, my Dad is a 73-year-old Mexican man who has lived here since he was 16. He was in Watts during the riots in 1965; in 1992, when I was in LA, as soon as the Rodney King verdict was announced, he called me, told me what was coming, told me how to stay safe. He has survived horrible living conditions, being kidnapped, physical abuse, prejudice, discrimination. He learned English, got his green card, pays his taxes, works hard, and has three daughters. 

I thought he would be devastated today.

But he wasn’t.

He saw that I was sad and angry, and he asked me why, pretending he had no idea. I almost started crying. And then he said, “no se me chicopale.” 

It means, don’t lose heart. Don’t give in to despair.

I asked him why he wasn’t upset.

He said, basically, “The world has always been this way. There are always people who are afraid, who are racist, who are awful. This is not new. And it will never go away. He won. We can’t do anything about that. All we can do is what we can do. Fight for what matters to us. Take care of each other. And don’t lose heart. And here, I got these unsalted cashews for you and a bag of jamaica drink mix and can you show me how to use the new washing machine because it’s not working.”

And, for reasons I can’t articulate, I feel a little better.