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How does Psychological Conditioning and Behavioral Modification work?

Many times what is missing in a BDSM relationship is the psychological aspect. Majority of the newbie Doms focus on physically dominating their subs, but what they truly need to understand is that it is not sustainable in the long term. A sub does not need to just follow the orders but understand why they should follow the orders. They should feel the inner need to obey their Dom rather than just being useful to them. 'Mental Domination precedes Physical Domination'

Psychological conditioning allows you to modify the way your sub thinks or feels certain things. You can literally condition the emotions and reactions he should get from a stimulus that you provide. This can also be very useful if your sub is reluctant at times. Conditioning your sub reduces the probability of misunderstanding or emotional breakouts during the times of constructive criticism because you exactly know how they are going to feel about it.

Psychological conditioning allows you to penetrate into your sub's mind and install a mini 'you' inside their head (Ooh I love the sound of this !) .

This is extremely useful if you're looking for a pro-active sub who should anticipate your needs even before you ask them. The 'mini you' is going to guide them throughout the day and your sub is not going to bother you with petty questions every now and then.

Obviously this thing takes time and patience but the results are totally worth in the long term. I don't want to sound too cliché but "You're actually going to have a partner of your dreams that your friends are going to be jealous of."

I have come up with the following approach for psychological conditioning of your sub :

You actually need to verbally remind them again and again about the thoughts you want to generate in their mind. You actually have to tell them how they should be feeling whenever you ask them to do something. You actually need to instill your thoughts in their mind if you want them to feel what you want them to feel.

The Initial Thought :

This step is the most crucial one. Once you've mastered this thing, more than half of your conditioning is done. This step outlines what are the most initial thoughts that your sub gets once you ask them to do something.

Do they think "I don't want to do this but I will have to do this because I'm a sub"

or

"My dom has asked me to do this and I'm so excited to serve them"?

b. You need to feel excited to serve me.

It isn't as difficult as it sounds. If they're really devoted to serving you, they are going to listen to what you say and absorb every single word of yours. This step is more about consistently reminding them what and how they should feel than just following orders. You want to control their feelings instead of their actions. Once you get control of their feelings, actions are going to follow as a consequence. You might regularly want to throw in some affirmations during your daily conversations like -

a. I know you feel really turned on when I ask you to serve me.

c. You feel so powerless in front of me.

d. I know you keep waiting for my orders because you love to obey me.

2. The Why :

Your sub is obviously not a brainless creature. They're a human, a logical one, who are going to question why they should be following your orders. The biggest mistake that beginner Doms make is to answer -"Because I said so!"

This answer is going to work a few times but again, it isn't applicable for long term but it actually isn't an answer.

Whenever your sub questions why, probably they aren't asking it as a disrespect but as a logical question. They might even have a better approach for your demand.

But here's a hack for psychological conditioning, you may add a personal reason along with the actual reason. This way, whenever they serve you, they think of your personal reason as well the actual reason. For example -

Dom - I need you to stop wearing this dress.

Sub - But why? It is a very comfortable one.

Dom - Because it has got old ( logical reason ). Also, it'll really make me feel good ( personal reason ) to see you in New clothes.

We hope you get the point. You are not just a reasonable dom but you have also conditioned his reasoning ( the "why" ) to be focused around you.

Seems like a normal conversation, right? But what you might have missed out is the consequence. Whenever your sub is going to wear that new piece of cloth, they'll get a thought that it's for the happiness of my dom. They're going to have the 'mini you' inside their head constantly reminding them that it's for you that they're wearing this cloth. And to enhance the impact even more, your can even mould your compliments like "I really love it when you wear this, you look good".

Now they're not going to wear it because they look good but because you love it.

3. The Expectation :

Lastly, you also need to instill the right set of expectations in their mind. Many times, sub is focused on some kind of gratification at a later stage while performing service. They need to be told that the service is solely for your satisfaction and any expectation of a gratification is selfish motive behind serving. They need to be told that gratification is totally at your disposal. You need to be the center of the relationship as a Dom and it's their duty to direct all their efforts in your satisfaction.

Again, when I say that 'need to be told' , I mean they actually need to be told. You need to be verbal. You need to communicate. Communication might prove to a be a little awkward for you in the beginning but I guarantee that your sub is going to love when you verbally tell them things, in case you aren't doing it already. If you're too shy, you can resort to texting initially.

a. If your sub drives you to the office and you ask them to be ready with the car in 10 minutes, you might mean that you need your laptop, your meal and any other stuff you carry with you during the day. Your sub might just be ready with the car because expectation was not set right.

Any wrong expectation is going to make both of you upset. The right expectations lay down a strong foundation for a long term relationship. The expectations can be set for particular commands, chores, sexual services or just daily routine.

A few examples below.

b. When you ask them to make the house ready for guests, you might mean cleaning, laundry, organized kitchen and ready dinner but your sub might not be aware of all the stuff to do.

c. You might tell your sub that tonight you both are going to have sex. The sub might automatically assume that they're also going to get an orgasm whereas you might just be looking forward to your satisfaction and not even thought of your sub's satisfaction at all. The sub needs to be told that sex refers to your satisfaction only and their satisfaction is totally at your disposal and mood.

So here we are! I appreciate you going through the article and hopefully you are going apply these in your relationship. The knowledge provided above might seem too much in short term but you're surely going to love your sub's behavior in the long term.

Happy dominating.

[britneysub]

Be a SMART Submissive

Being a submissive man and having fantasies to submit is generally not enough. You need to understand the difference between having submissive desires and being a good submissive.

This is the same as the difference between having a passion for singing and being good at singing, You would need to train your vocal chords and practice regularly to get good at it.

When I say that you need to be a SMART submissive, I am not referring to being a brainy or good-looking submissive, though it will definitely be an added benefit for your Dom. SMART is an acronym for -

S – Supportive M – Measured A – Aware R – Responsive (Most important quality that I need in my slave) T – Trained

Let’s dive deep into each one of these to understand better.

Supportive

It is very obvious that the partners in a relationship need to be supportive for the couple to be happy. However, the slave in a Female Led Relationship needs to be extra supportive. He should be supportive in her decisions, in her actions and the reactions that she gets. His Dom should know that she has his support no matter what.

Establishing this kind of trust where she knows that he has her back 24/7 would take time. Once this is established, she will automatically start relying more on his support. This is also an answer to the question – “How to make my wife more dominant?”

You need to prove your submission first before asking her for dominance. Just like you need to prove your performance first before you ask for an appraisal.

Measured

This is an interesting point. How can you measure your submission? Well, it could be apparent based on fewer punishments, more positive feedback, happier Mistress, more delegation of tasks, etc. You can also measure it in terms of growth you both have seen individually as well as together as a couple. For example, my slave has learned –

How to apply nail paint professionally

Do pedicures

Cook food as per my taste

Maintain home as per my preferences

Hair straightening And so on..

I have also learned how to delegate more responsibilities, be more patient with the training process, overcoming guilt while being selfish in bed, etc.

Lastly, if you are nerd and you need statistics for measuring your FLR, you can maintain a journal where you keep a note of reward points and punishment points. Over the time your reward points graph should go up and the punishment points should go down.

Aware

A well aware submissive is not only aware of his Mistress’s needs but he is also aware of his behaviour and his Mistress’s expectations from him. He is able to anticipate her needs and fulfil them as and when they arise. A common mistake here is that slaves try to serve even when their Doms haven’t asked for a service. You should always remember

“A SERVICE NOT ASKED FOR IS NOT A SERVICE.”

You are just fulfilling your kinks with these so called services. This brings me to my second point that a good submissive should be aware of his own behaviour in his Female Led Relationship. He should regularly analyze his will to serve, his acts of submission and his motivation to obey.

He should not let his kinks blind his sanity. The first and foremost principle should be to keep his Mistress happy.

Responsive

This is one of the most important qualities that makes a submissive man desirable to me (and to a Dom in general). He should be responsive. What does it mean?

First of all, it means that his obedience should be immediate. He should get excited about serving me. He should feel blessed to serve me and he should obey my orders immediately, rather than deferring them.

There is something that makes you feel so powerful when your slave obeys your orders instantly. This obviously has an underlying assumption that the Dom is sane, practical and is not misusing her control.

Secondly, responsive also means that the slave is implementing feedback given to him. The Dom will only feel motivated to provide further feedback only when she sees that her previous feedback was well incorporated and implemented.

Trained

What is a well-trained slave? A well-trained submissive man is someone who has been shaped and moulded as per the needs of his Dom. His behaviour has been modified and he has been psychologically conditioned.

Learn more about behavioural modification and psychological conditioning.

A well trained submissive man cannot exist if he is not responsive. It is the feedback from the Dom that shapes a submissive. Even if the man has all the skills that his Dom might need, he still needs to have the flexibility to bend those skills as per his Mistress’s desires. For example, a submissive man might be an expert in home science, but if he cannot keep the home as per his Mistress’s needs, his skills are not serving a purpose.

If he feels that something could be better managed at home, he should bring that up with his Mistress, but he should be flexible enough to accept her final decision.

Conclusion

Being a submissive is not enough. To be a good submissive, you need to be SMART. SMART submission is not a single step that you need to take, rather it is a continuous process. Be patient, be obedient, be submissive and be SMART.

[britneysub]

Earn her Dominance – Etiquette for approaching a Dominant woman

Why does a submissive man approach a dominant woman as if she is already his mistress? Why does he immediately start calling him mistress? Is this behaviour justified?

The world of FLR (Female Led Relationship) is filled with strong, intelligent and independent women. Such women need a man who is supportive and loving.  They expect the man to listen to what they want and then strive for it. The man should make every effort to make his woman’s life easier.

However, what they usually get from a submissive man in their DMs is a long list of fantasies and kinks, hard limits, age and dick size. Do you think that this makes sense?

Why do you approach her as a Mistress?

Sliding into DMs with such an NSFW CV is going to just piss her off. Do you ever slide into a vanilla woman’s DMs mentioning your dick size and how long you can last in bed? What do you think the reaction would be?

Most probably she is going to block you and worse, she can even report you for harassment!

Imagine this, walking into a coffee shop and locking eyes with an incredibly hot woman, going to her with confidence and asking, “Will you be my girlfriend?” It sounds weird, right?

Without getting to know her personality, interests, hobbies, profession, or habits, jumping to the conclusion of getting romantically involved with her would be just ridiculous, why?

Because romantic relationships are built on trust, honesty, compatibility and mutual attraction, not because you find someone hot sipping coffee!

Where does this logic go in FLR?

When a submissive man approaches a dominant woman, on Reddit or any FLR forum, he immediately begins his message with “Hi Mistress,” or “Hi Goddess,” without any mutual agreement or consent. Why? You would not call any random girl “Hi Babe” or “Hi Honey”, would you?

But why do men do this?

This happens because all a man is thinking about while messaging her is how she can whip him, tease him, deny him, or lock him in chastity. The DM is a fantasy-driven desperation rather than an attempt to build a genuine relationship.

Some men would argue that they refer to women as “Mistress” or “Goddess” as respect. Well, if you want to show respect, use “Miss” before their names. Or ask them how you should refer to them instead of assuming.

Understanding Dominance

Men need to understand what true dominance is. Dominance is not just about whipping or locking a man. He thinks that showering a dominant woman with submissive words and ideas will woo her.

But dominance is not about a woman playing a role in your fantasy. Dominance is about the woman leading the relationship at her own will and terms. As a submissive man, you will be the one who will consensually agree to her will and desires. As a couple, you both will carve out the perfect FLR which will be suitable for her.

Men need to understand that their reality and their fantasy inside their heads is very different.

Would you do this in any other Social Setting?

Let’s think of this behavior in other scenarios –

- If you were in a college or university tuition class Whatsapp group, would you randomly message women asking them to be your girlfriend?

- If you went for an interview, would you immediately refer to the interviewer as “Boss”, even before getting hired?

- If you were in a gym, would you randomly go to a strong and fit woman and ask her what your next exercise should be?

No, you wouldn’t. You would first establish rapport, show respect and build a connection.

Same way, men should not abandon this common sense while approaching dominant women. Their lack of patience and self-control is very evident from the very first message they send. Think yourself, would a strong and independent woman want to be with a man with no patience?

DOMINANT WOMEN SEEK QUALITY AND CLASS, NOT DESPERATION!

One of the biggest misconceptions that men have is that dominant women are waiting for any man to just submit to them. This cannot be farther from reality.

These strong and independent women are confident and selective. They definitely do not want a desperate man with no self-respect.

Wait, why do I say no self-respect?

Think about it. If you are willing to serve just any woman, without even knowing her, do you have any self-respect? Is your submission so cheap and easily available that anyone could use it?

You are ready to be beaten and sexually denied by just anyone? You are ready to do the dishes and clean the house of any random woman who you haven’t even talked to yet?

You are ready to lick the feet of a completely random stranger. You are ready to be humiliated and insulted by her.

You are begging some online alias, who you do not even know!

This definitely does not show that you have any self-respect, right?

What do Dominant Women actually want?

They want a partner who is

- Emotionally stable (No desperation) - Self-respecting - Submissive (Not just at surface level, but with a deep desire to serve) - Can add value to the relationship (and not just lie down and wait for the Mistress to perform acts on him)

When a woman encounters a man who is immediately begging to serve, it is a BIG RED FLAG!

If a woman responds to such DMs, it is most likely going to result in Findom rather than Femdom. She would be more interested in extracting money from you rather than building a genuine relationship. But hey, it isn’t her fault, right? She saw an opportunity and she exploited it.

You reached out to her with this proposal. You willingly sent her money. You showed her that you are vulnerable and desperate.

How to Approach a Dominant Woman the Right Way

You have come across a woman on a forum who identifies herself as a dom. Try building a genuine connection with her rather than asking her to dominate you.

FLR or Femdom is a shared interest between you two. That is all. This does not mean that you both should jump into it right away.

If you find a woman who loves kids, and you love kids too, this does not mean that you both would just start raising kids, right?

You need to focus on compatibility, interests, and understanding between you both. You already know that she is a dom, so once you both get into a relationship, it is going to be Female-led for sure. There is no doubt about this fact.

When you know that eventually you are going to be dominated by your potential girlfriend/wife, why ruin it just because of desperation and horniness?

Have patience and stop chasing instant gratification. Dominant women want real connections as much as other women.

Conclusion

Men, please stop assuming that dominant women are horny bitches who are looking to find pigs for exploitation. No!

These women are strong and independent individuals who have a drive to make their lives successful and comfortable. The partner they are looking for is the one who compliments their vision.

They need someone whom they can rely on and delegate their tasks. They want someone who matches their class.

They want someone with patience, self-respect and a drive for self-development.

Do not jump into DMs with template messages indicating your kinks and desires. Instead, build a connection and show her how you can add value to her life. This way she will know that you are worth her time.

And please, stop calling random strangers “Mistress”

[britneysub]

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REBLOG TO GET HUMILIATED!!

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@celeb-femdom-project

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[britneysub]

1. The submissive man must always respect and honor the dominant woman.

2. He must obey all instructions given by the dominant woman without retort.

3. He must always speak respectfully to the dominant woman and use appropriate titles.

4. He must always ask for permission before undertaking actions that might affect the dominant woman.

5. The submissive man must never contest the judgment or decision of the dominant woman.

6. He must always be available to satisfy the needs of the dominant woman, whether emotionally, physically, or in other ways.

7. He must accept punishment if the dominant woman deems he has broken a rule or behaved inappropriately.

8. He must always ensure the safety, comfort, and well-being of the dominant woman.

9. He must always maintain a humble and respectful attitude towards the dominant woman.

10. He must respect pre-established boundaries and report any situation that exceeds them.

11. The submissive man must not touch the dominant woman without her explicit permission.

12. He must maintain good personal hygiene for the comfort of the dominant woman.

13. He must always thank the dominant woman for her attention and corrections.

14. He must take part in all household chores designated by the dominant woman.

15. The submissive man must accept to wear the clothes or accessories that the dominant woman designates.

16. He must keep his place, never sit or put himself at the same level as the dominant woman without her permission.

17. He must always be honest and open with the dominant woman, never hiding his feelings or concerns.

18. The submissive man should strive to learn and understand the preferences of the dominant woman to better serve her.

19. He must always respect the confidentiality of the relationship and never share private details without the consent of the dominant woman.

20. The submissive man must acknowledge that the dominant woman has the right to end the relationship at any time if she deems it necessary.

21. The submissive man must always prioritize the needs and desires of the dominant woman.

22. He must never interrupt the dominant woman unless explicitly asked to speak.

33. He should always present himself in a manner that pleases the dominant woman.

44. He must take responsibility for his mistakes and seek to make amends under the guidance of the dominant woman.

25. He should always strive to anticipate the needs of the dominant woman without being told.

26. He must be patient and never rush the dominant woman in any situation.

27. The submissive man must not make decisions that affect the dominant woman without her explicit consent.

28. He must keep a journal of his thoughts and feelings to share with the dominant woman if she desires.

29. He should always exhibit gratitude towards the dominant woman for her guidance and control.

30. He must never engage in any form of disrespectful or negative behavior towards the dominant woman.

31. The submissive man must not engage in any sexual activities without the explicit consent of the dominant woman.

32. He should always strive to improve himself under the guidance of the dominant woman.

33. He must not show jealousy or possessiveness towards the dominant woman.

34. He should respect all of the dominant woman's personal space and belongings.

35. The submissive man must adhere to a daily routine or schedule set by the dominant woman.

36. He should participate in regular self-reflection and report his progress to the dominant woman.

37. He must not argue with the dominant woman or question her authority.

38.. He should take care of his physical and mental health to serve the dominant woman effectively.

39. He must acknowledge and respect the dominant woman's right to engage with others as she sees fit.

40. The submissive man should always remember his position and role within the relationship, reaffirming his submission to the dominant woman.

[britneysub]

Message for males that follow this blog.

This is a big year for elections all around the world. Let's make this a year where Goddesses' voices are listened to. Speak to the significant Female in your life, and ask her how she will vote. Then simply choose the same candidate and thus double the value of Her vote.

Just think how powerful this could be if every male believer in the Matriarchy, did the same!

[britneysub]

1. The submissive man must always respect and honor the dominant woman.

2. He must obey all instructions given by the dominant woman without retort.

3. He must always speak respectfully to the dominant woman and use appropriate titles.

4. He must always ask for permission before undertaking actions that might affect the dominant woman.

5. The submissive man must never contest the judgment or decision of the dominant woman.

6. He must always be available to satisfy the needs of the dominant woman, whether emotionally, physically, or in other ways.

7. He must accept punishment if the dominant woman deems he has broken a rule or behaved inappropriately.

8. He must always ensure the safety, comfort, and well-being of the dominant woman.

9. He must always maintain a humble and respectful attitude towards the dominant woman.

10. He must respect pre-established boundaries and report any situation that exceeds them.

11. The submissive man must not touch the dominant woman without her explicit permission.

12. He must maintain good personal hygiene for the comfort of the dominant woman.

13. He must always thank the dominant woman for her attention and corrections.

14. He must take part in all household chores designated by the dominant woman.

15. The submissive man must accept to wear the clothes or accessories that the dominant woman designates.

16. He must keep his place, never sit or put himself at the same level as the dominant woman without her permission.

17. He must always be honest and open with the dominant woman, never hiding his feelings or concerns.

18. The submissive man should strive to learn and understand the preferences of the dominant woman to better serve her.

19. He must always respect the confidentiality of the relationship and never share private details without the consent of the dominant woman.

20. The submissive man must acknowledge that the dominant woman has the right to end the relationship at any time if she deems it necessary.

21. The submissive man must always prioritize the needs and desires of the dominant woman.

22. He must never interrupt the dominant woman unless explicitly asked to speak.

33. He should always present himself in a manner that pleases the dominant woman.

44. He must take responsibility for his mistakes and seek to make amends under the guidance of the dominant woman.

25. He should always strive to anticipate the needs of the dominant woman without being told.

26. He must be patient and never rush the dominant woman in any situation.

27. The submissive man must not make decisions that affect the dominant woman without her explicit consent.

28. He must keep a journal of his thoughts and feelings to share with the dominant woman if she desires.

29. He should always exhibit gratitude towards the dominant woman for her guidance and control.

30. He must never engage in any form of disrespectful or negative behavior towards the dominant woman.

31. The submissive man must not engage in any sexual activities without the explicit consent of the dominant woman.

32. He should always strive to improve himself under the guidance of the dominant woman.

33. He must not show jealousy or possessiveness towards the dominant woman.

34. He should respect all of the dominant woman's personal space and belongings.

35. The submissive man must adhere to a daily routine or schedule set by the dominant woman.

36. He should participate in regular self-reflection and report his progress to the dominant woman.

37. He must not argue with the dominant woman or question her authority.

38.. He should take care of his physical and mental health to serve the dominant woman effectively.

39. He must acknowledge and respect the dominant woman's right to engage with others as she sees fit.

40. The submissive man should always remember his position and role within the relationship, reaffirming his submission to the dominant woman.

[britneysub]

Message for males that follow this blog.

This is a big year for elections all around the world. Let's make this a year where Goddesses' voices are listened to. Speak to the significant Female in your life, and ask her how she will vote. Then simply choose the same candidate and thus double the value of Her vote.

Just think how powerful this could be if every male believer in the Matriarchy, did the same!