brigittadavriella

[brigittadavriella]

This is 12 AM. I’m trying to sleep but I cannot because I do really want to share my thoughts on an issue. As my friends had different opinions, I thought sharing my opinion to them was not a good idea so let me share it here. Gonna use Bahasa Indonesia (((yes it’s not only bAhaSa))) because bro this one comes from the deepest of my heart.

Around 6 years ago (it;s a long time already!), I had been active doing service in a church in Bandung and there was this one woman priest. 2 years ago, my friend told me that this priest renounced her priesthood because she had divorced. It was a shock news to me. I knew she and her (let’s just said) ex-husband were not a lovey dovey couple like other priests. But having a divorce was still a shock to me because, you know, we didn’t really accept divorce in Christianity, right? There were so many speculations including they were divorced because they had no child after a long year marriage.

Well, after that we never talk about it until last end-of-month, the church hold the priest’s farewell event. As someone shared on IG story, I watched the re-run event posted on youtube and heard the explanation from the priest.

She said that she was “divorcced” because of abuse in her marriage. It was a BIG shock to me becasue it’s not only her, but her husband was also known in the church. I know, I know that nothing is impossible, a person can be an evil inside, but it was still a shock!

And, of course, as expected, there was a debate about this. As we all know, abuse is a sensitive topic. But, wait, before we talk about the debate, I want to let you know that now the priest hasn’t renounced her priesthood. She is on probation in other church right now.

Okay, let’s talk about the debate. Here are two different opinon about the issue.

1. She is a priest. If a priest cannot do what God said, “let not man separate”, how can she be a model for others?

2. She is also a human who has a life. We cannot keep her in an abusive environment. It’s an acceptable reason to divorce so it’s also ok for her to keep being a priest. She can be a good priest by listening to other’s stories and giving advice as she already had the problem.

Well, I agree with both opinions BUT eventhough the second opinion is true and valid, that doesn’t mean she can keep being a priest. Let me just write in Bahasa Indonesia T_T

Setuju banget kalau dia adalah manusia yang hidupnya berharga. Kita juga harus inget kalau Tuhan mau kita berdamai dengan kehidupan kita sendiri. I’m not really sure about this, but I believe that divorce, or at least berpisah meski tidak bercerai secara legal, adalah salah satu cara terbaik untuk seseorang bisa berdamai dengan hidupnya setelah berada di dalam lingkungan yang abusive. Ketika seseorang bisa berdamai dengan hidupnya, ia bisa memuliakan Tuhan lebih lagi. Again, I don’t really know bagaimana Alkitab membahas ini, tapi I think it’s not a bad idea to separate the priest from her husband.

Now, should she keep being her priest? My opinion is no, at least not in that specific church. Again, sebenarnya Tuhan udah bilang kalau perceraian itu gak bisa. I know it can be interpreted differently but we should understand that the church had interpreted the verse kalau perceraian itu tidak diperbolehkan Allah. Karena ketika mereka menikah dengan pemberkatan, Tuhan yang sudah menyatukan mereka. Siapalah manusia yang bisa memisahkan mereka? Ya, terserah gitu ya kalau lo gak setuju dengan pendapat itu dan merasa terusik, ya gak osah beribadah di situ dan cari gereja yang sesuai dengan how you interpret BIble gitu. It’s actually ok kan. No church is 100% correct in interpreting Bible.

Kalau pendeta nya mau dan merasa dalam kondisi yang dia alami memang jalan terbaik adalah cerai kayak yang tadi gue sampein, it’s totally ok for her to have that personal view. But we need to understand that the church cannot accept that. Some people said harusnya ada kelonggaran karena ini kan tentang abuse. But, guys, hukum Tuhan itu gak abu-abu. Hukum Tuhan itu hitam dan putih. Selalu inget kalau Tuhan itu memang Maha Kasih, tapi Tuhan itu juga Maha Kudus. We can still love and accept each other, tapi apa yang salah itu ya salah. Gak ada T&C dalam menentukan itu melanggar hukum Tuhan atau gak. Jadi, kalau gereja menginterpretasikan sabda Tuhan itu sebagai “tidak boleh bercerai”, menurut gue, gereja TIDAK BISA mentoleransi itu. Sebagai pendeta yang seharusnya jadi teladan dalam melakukan hukum Tuhan, maka pendeta di gereja tersebut tidak bisa bercerai. Jadi, I totally agree with the church kalau mereka gak bisa menerima dia jadi pendeta lagi di gereja itu.

Tapi, kalau dengan itu, gereja langsung kayak no you need to renounce your priesthood right now, itu juga jahat. Gereja gak bisa seenaknya jadi hakim juga karena selain pernikahan, kependetaan itu kan juga perjanjian di hadapan Allah. Solusi yang ditawarkan saat ini ke pendeta itu menurut gue, sekali lagi gue tekenin kalau ini menurut gue, adalah solusi yang ter-aman. Gak bisa bilang ini terbaik, tapi setidaknya ter-aman. Kenapa? Karena gereja masih memberikan pilihan ke dia. Coba ayo kita cari dulu apa ada gereja lain yang bisa menerima kondisi di dan punya pemahaman yang berbeda dengan kita. It’s a good enough solution, right? Dia tetap bisa bercerai dan memiliki kehidupan yang dia rindukan, tapi dia tetap juga bisa melayani sebagai pendeta sesuai yang sudah dia komitmenkan.

Lagian, di dalam kehidupan, gak akan mungkin ada hidup tanpa pengorbanan. Gue jadi mikir, kenapa harus kecewa kalau misalpun memang pada akhirnya harus menanggalkan status kependetaannya ya? Apa melayani Tuhan, hidup sebagai hamba Tuhan, menjadi pendengar dan pemberi saran yang baik hanya bisa dilakukan jika sebagai pendeta? No. Kita bisa jadi orang biasa tapi memberikan hidup kita sepenuhnya untuk Tuhan, sama seperti yang dilakukan pendeta. Bedanya cuma kita gak punya kewenangan tertentu misal untuk melakukan baptis gitu. Ya gak sih?

Setelah dicek lagi ini udah panjang banget T_T jadi intinya menurut gue sih, pendeta ini memang sudah harus berpisah sama suaminya dan menjalani kehidupannya sebagai seorang yang bebas dari kekerasan. Tapi dia memang juga gak bisa lagi jadi pendeta di gereja yang sama karena tidak sesuai dengan biblical view yang gereja itu pegang. Dalam hal ini, menurut gue, kita gak perlu stand di salah satu side aja karena tidak ada yang 100% salah di antara mereka. Kita bisa terima keputusan keduanya dengan baik dan mendoakan keduanya, pendeta dan gereja, tetap bisa melayani Tuhan. That’s my two cents. God bless! xo

[brigittadavriella]

Yesterday I kept crying because I didn’t think I deserve my managers and my PMO. Three of them are really helpful, I cannot stop to argue that I am so blessed having them as my team!

[brigittadavriella]

Today my bestfriend flew to Germany! After spending 10 years together, I cannot imagine not being able to come to her whenever I want. I do really wish that she will come back healthy and safe. She is my bestfriend. I hope God bless her journey there..

[brigittadavriella]

It has been a really long time but hi tumblr!

Due to work experience, I can’t stop thinking that I need a platform to share my thought and emotions by writing. It will help me to have better communication skill so let’s try writing again, slowly. No need to have a strong commitment but try to write whenever we want, okay, git?

P.s. I just checked that today is exactly one year after my last post here!

[brigittadavriella]

My day 5 makes me think deeply!

What is one thing lacking in your life that you feel is necessary to make you complete? How can you leave it up to God so that you find satisfaction in Him as your share?

Not only on this pandemic, even before that, I often think that I lack on having a good relationship with people. Do I really have someone I can rely on? Do my friends also think that I am their friend? Why my love story never end well? It's actually really hard thinking about that and it makes me sad. A lot.

Reading today devotion remind me again. I have Him. I can rely on Him. Anywhere. Anytime. Human will disappoint us, but He won't🤗

[brigittadavriella]

Day 4!

What areas of your thinking need the most change by God's power? How willing are you to act when you clearly understand His will for your life?

Almost all areas need the most change! Being full wfh, my faith journey has setbacks.. I seriously need Him to change the whole me :(

[brigittadavriella]

I skipped day 2 already!!! Here's my day 3🌻

Knowing that you have received God's grace, how does it affect the way you think, speak, and act today? How can you surrender completely to the changes He is wrought?

I don't think it quickly changes me. I think it affects me slowly without me realizing. But, it surely affects how I live my life! For example when I skipped daily devotion, I thought I would never start it again, it would all become a vain. But, well, His grace help me a lot! Being here back means He still love me. He still want to shape me. And I am truly grateful❤️

[brigittadavriella]

OMG IT TAKES A REALLY LONG TIME FOR ME TO START OVER! Let me try again from day 1😢

When you realized that taking a break was based more on relationships than rules, what changed in your view of rest? What part of your life is God still asking to give to Him?

Today's devotion hits me hard! Working made me keep thinking that I didn't have any time to rest, then I also concluded that I didn't have any time to build any relationship including to God! If taking a break is based more one relationships, then what is it I was thinking?! I of course SHOULD make time to build my relationship to God despite of load of work, and it also include giving Him all of my life. My work, my time, my worries, I should give them all to Him. Let's start this new commitment!🤗

[brigittadavriella]

Happy working Monday! Here's day 17!

How can knowing that you are safe and secure in God make you love God even more? How does that truth deepen your knowledge of yourself?

Again, we got a difficult question. I think I never consider being His child to make a decision in life. More, I never learn myself well enough. I always have that barrier to know myself better. And maybe, that barrier is knowing Him better..

[brigittadavriella]

Happy Sunday! Day 16 has a very good example! Let me share it here eventhough it's in Indonesia!

I actually almost cry reading today's verse. God who is Almighty do really love us and want the best for us! And today's daily question is here!

When have you found it difficult to follow God obediently and faithfully? How can you ask God to heal and help you?

Following God is super difficult! I always try to find circumstances reasoning to justify my action not following Him. I realize that I cannot do it alone. I cannot follow Him only by my way and reasoning. I need Him, His spirit to heal me, help me following Him obediently, faithfully❤️

[brigittadavriella]

Wow I skipped day 15 also because of the work😔 so here's my day 16 in the morning 🌅

How does God view the prayers that although not eloquent but are offered by His children humbly? How can you make prayer a part of your daily life?

I ACTUALLY LOVEDDDD PRAYING. The calm you got after praying is much different than doing other things. But, since I've been home all this year, I didn't like showing how I pray to my family. I tend to keep it as a secret BUT THERE'S ALMOST NO SECRET IN MY HOME! We don't have private room or anywhere I can be alone. When I choose to be alone, they keep asking me where why what etc. And now here I am, never properly praying anymore :( I guess I need to find a way somehow😔

[brigittadavriella]

I skipped day 13😭😭 but here's day 14!

Why is it important for us to recognize each Bible passage as a piece of God's larger story?

When I read the bible verse for today devotion, I actually planned to skip reading that. And, yes, the devotion is specifically talking about my plan lol

It's actually a shame how I, the one who always have a sweet talk about having a relationship with God, never read a whole full Bible😔 it was really difficult to keep doing that especially when we read about number and family!

But today God remind me again. Everything written in the Bible is His passage. It's His story that can enlighten us in any way we may not understand.

But, well, I don't feel ready enough to start reading the Bible again. Or should I try it?😔

[brigittadavriella]

Day 12!

What are some of God's deeds in your life that you can share with others? How does God equip you to preach the good news?

Surely, everything happened in my life is His deeds and can be shared with others! But the problem is I always cannot find the one that is really impactful to be shared. I know, i know, everything can be impactful in His hands. But most people don't easily think so, right? So it's a bit hard to easily share things :(

But one thing for sure, He equipped me by giving me a nice community: PMK ITB, LPMI, GKI MY. Of course we go through up and down there, but they gave me so much strength and influence in "preaching" others.

Anyway, this totally remind me how I never contact my cojourner sigh :(

[brigittadavriella]

I skipped day 10 :( but here's my day 11~

What kind of mercy have you experienced unexpectedly from God? How can the realization that He is able to bring forth His goodness miraculously give you hope today?

I don't really remember which one is really unexpected, but I'm pretty sure that I'm here is beacause of His mercy. There was many times I thought I won't go forward, but His mercy did it. Everytime I realize, everytime I am more grateful to Him🤗

[brigittadavriella]

Day 9 is difficult!

How can the assurance of Jesus' return enable you to live for Him? What are you most looking forward to from the second coming of Christ?

I don't even know the answer of this😭 talking about His return is so hard and I never really talk about this specifically so I never think of His return when we talk about living. Guess I need to learn more :'(

[brigittadavriella]

Day 8~

How does God show His goodness to you through other people? Why is it so easy for us to praise others for something God has done in your life?

Surely there's a looottttt of experience I got showing how He's being good to me through other people. However I cannot really remember which one is the most precious please forgive my memory🙃

But I think it's absolutely easier to praise people other than God eventhough we know the theory. Therefore, it's really important to keep growing in Him. And that's exactly I'm hoping everyday right now💞

[brigittadavriella]

Day 7!

Why is rejecting Jesus a serious problem? What is your response to His call?

Hmm I don't really agree with the question. I don't think rejecting Jesus is a problem. In this world you can reject Him but still being a kind human even though accepting Him is ensuring that.

In my opinion who is not smart, accepting or rejecting Him is a choice that won't give us any serious problem in this world. The benefit in following Him will be given afterlife, won't it?

Following Him doesn't mean we will be free from any problem. Following Him doesn't mean we cannot lose from anyone or anything.

Following Him means you will always be ready for anything waiting for you because you know it's the best plan for you given by Him. Following Him means you know there's always Him for you to lean on.

And by that, sure, I will answer YES for His call❤️