breedseternalmisery

[breedseternalmisery]

just don’t know the last time i’ve felt love, any version of it

[breedseternalmisery]

what’d i interact with to get this

[breedseternalmisery]

just realized main people from main blog can see past porn reblogs......................................... ignor.. have dif blog for it now

[breedseternalmisery]

looks like im back here for now hi

[breedseternalmisery]

am i a terrible person

[breedseternalmisery]

it feels so nice to be at peace and be able to love myself

like wow i can genuinely be on my own rn and not killing myself

now i know it could change but im glad i got here

[breedseternalmisery]

what if i sleep for years pls

[breedseternalmisery]

i’m exhausted i just wanna sleep

[breedseternalmisery]

i need to cry i’m exhausted i just wanna feel love

[breedseternalmisery]

sometimes i wanna be dead

like not suicidal (rn at least)

but like just not here, like a presence or maybe in a coma? idk i don’t wanna die rn but i just don’t wanna be here

[breedseternalmisery]

i’ve lost such a huge fucking outlet of mine and it’s just gone like that. for no good reason. it feels good knowing people are standing up for me and don’t get it either, but it’s exhausting. three days a week i had something to look forward to, knowing i could organize the shelves and reshelve things while i worked out stuff in my mind, talk to some of the best people ever who i love, and just be surrounded by stuff that i loved and enjoyed and now its just ripped away for no reason

[breedseternalmisery]

actually soooo fucked up from my dad but like nah never acknowledge it

[breedseternalmisery]

WHY DOES ADAM GET TO GO SEE CHAPPELL ROAN AND I DONTTTT THIS ISNT FAIR YOUU LITERALLY FCUKED MY ENTIREE LIFEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[breedseternalmisery]

see i’d be nosy as fuck and wanna see the list so here (most of needs are normal relationship things and things that normal people who love someone would do so. that tells a lot about me) ((also don’t even question some of the wants.. i probably wouldn’t be able to explain))

NEEDS!!!!

-420 friendly

-experience with mental health, eds, and trauma (either their own or friends or past partners, but i don’t want to have to TEACH them how to help me. i’ll of course help some but i don’t wanna have to lay everything out)

-has to learn overtime things that i’d need (examples: what movie would be good to put on or what type of show id need on a situation.)

-is able to to watch and help with overstimulations (i can’t tell sometimes myself, and having someone watch or help is important)

-someone to help me with tone (social interactions and cues with others but also MYSELF, sometimes i don’t even realize what’s acceptable or not)

-darker hair (i just like it more)

-will cook and bake with me

-will put effort into planning dates and gifts as i put into them

-will let me infodump

-will watch my shows and movies (and i REALLY hope they wouldn’t have seen a few because i wanna watch their reactions)

-understands space and boundaries (basically will give me space when i need unwound time)

-cat lover

-kid LIKER (don’t gotta love ‘em, but don’t hate them.)

-kinks and into’s similar (duhhh)

-has to like books (doesn’t have to love, but i want to give them a book now and then to read if i think they’d like it ((also have them read to me sometimes)) )

-similar music taste (so we can jam out together!)

-not too similar (so i can learn more and we aren’t too alike)

-more “dom” in the relationship? (idk the meaning of this but i know the VIBE of a guy i’d want, and that’s the only way i can describe it)

-same humor

-same views on politics (DUH)

-PETNAMES!!!!

-no fragile masculinity pls

-goood grammar (come on..)

-tats or wants tats

-is okay with love nibbles or bites (oral fixation so)

-dog liker

not required but WOULD BE NICE!!!

-neurodivergent themself !! (can understand each other better)

-taller than me

-smokes themselves (weed or cigs, both fine!)

-hot hands

-money. (GIFTS AND LEGOS ANNDHAHHWJSI)

-leaning dom top in the bedroom (listen i’m a verse switch very leaning sub bottom but like ON OCCASION I LIKE DOM TOP!!!)

-COLLECTOR LIKE ME!!! (so they understand why i love physical media and merch SO MUCH)

-CONCERTS!! (you don’t gotta like them, but come with me to them!! even if u don’t like the artist)

-indulges in my fantasies (i don’t really want kids, but it’s nice to think about them)

-likes horror movies (as long as you sit with me through them, even if ur eyes are covered the whole time, that’s all i ask)

-shows me their favorite things and gets excited when talking about them!! (i love when people have passions)

-bloody noses (hot.)

-a DISTINCT accent or like mother language is not english (hot. also can learn 😁)

-scars (hot!)

-has his own recipes (so we can share and try each others food)

[breedseternalmisery]

OR OR OR similar scenario first half yknow but no holding and some type of possessive situation comes out and he calls me his but realizes like friends don’t get this protective and possessive over their friends

the literal dream is to have a guy friend. to be close to him to love him as a friend yknow. and then for something to happen one night where he’s holding me cause duh he my friend, close friends can do that, and then Boom. while he holding me he leans down to kiss me cause he realizes he wanna hold me forever and i realize i want him to be my friend forever but extra kissing and dates bam bam bammmm

[breedseternalmisery]

the literal dream is to have a guy friend. to be close to him to love him as a friend yknow. and then for something to happen one night where he’s holding me cause duh he my friend, close friends can do that, and then Boom. while he holding me he leans down to kiss me cause he realizes he wanna hold me forever and i realize i want him to be my friend forever but extra kissing and dates bam bam bammmm

[breedseternalmisery]

RIZZZZZ (porn account mutual i sent post to about likes being private)