breakroom-shenanigans

[breakroom-shenanigans]

Gaulle: Here’s another survival tip! I learned this one in the army. Crayons are made of wax, which makes them similar to candles.

Gaulle: In an emergency, lighting one will cause it to burn for about 30 minutes, give or take.

Mordi: What is with you and setting things on fire?

Gaulle: Fire’s pretty.

[breakroom-shenanigans]

How’s everyone over here doing?

Gaulle: Meh. It sure as hell is going. *yawwwwwn* I just can’t wait for the new year.

Mordi: Why?

Gaulle: I always get the best sleep on New Year’s Eve.

Mordi: Huh… Anyway, I’ve just been chilling and watching the new Witcher season with my wife. It’s good.

Gaulle: Oh shit, new Witcher!

Ruby: I have a spoiler! Geralt-

Mordi: NO!!!!!!!!

[breakroom-shenanigans]

Gaulle: This isn’t a meme. Give me your money, sucker.

Gaulle: Got some news… I’ve decided to start moonlighting as a contemporary artist! Here I have a broken glass I dropped because I’m a clumsy asshole who can’t even wash the dishes anymore.

Gaulle: It symbolizes… Uh… Human nature or whatever. Bidding starts at infinity. I am legally required to call you a pleb who doesn’t get it if you don’t immediately start philosophizing about this fucking glass-I mean art.

[breakroom-shenanigans]

Gaulle: Got some news… I’ve decided to start moonlighting as a contemporary artist! Here I have a broken glass I dropped because I’m a clumsy asshole who can’t even wash the dishes anymore.

Gaulle: It symbolizes… Uh… Human nature or whatever. Bidding starts at infinity. I am legally required to call you a pleb who doesn’t get it if you don’t immediately start philosophizing about this fucking glass-I mean art.

[breakroom-shenanigans]

💬Ruby! Is it true that you’re nabed aftr marea am smift frugh huh dibrack blarn eat showegh whale snert yargh hugh mort Bbhhngh… .. .. .…. … . ..j

Ruby: *sadly* Yes… It’s true. It’s all true.

[breakroom-shenanigans]

Morris: Yeah, I can see that.

Morris: Restraining order?

[breakroom-shenanigans]

Morris: What the fuck.

Morris: Restraining order?

[breakroom-shenanigans]

Morris: And you started to date that man? The man you had a restraining order against? That man? The one with a restraining order against him? The one who legally couldn't speak to you? That one?

Morris: Restraining order?

[breakroom-shenanigans]

Morris: Please tell me, what context in the world would ever make a restraining order on your coworker normal?

Morris: Restraining order?

[breakroom-shenanigans]

Morris: Restraining order?

[breakroom-shenanigans]

Well, it looks like I... Was unprofessional while interacting with you.

I apologise for that.

-Jack Bright

Cowboy: "Unprofessional" doesn't even begin to describe that shit. But apology acknowledged.

[breakroom-shenanigans]

Cowboy: You don't even know what I might have done in my timeline, dipshit.

HAH. He really fucking should. But he's gonna leave 'em anyways cause he can't fuckin. The guys got fucking committment issues.

Also fuck you cheap cowboy. You have no power here. Suck it up, will ya? Not like you don't deserve getting pissed on like this.

-Jack Bright

Ruby: Fuck, he does! Wish I could say more but I'm pretty sure it'd count as workplace harassment.

Cowboy: You know what? Fuck you. I'm leaving.

[breakroom-shenanigans]

Cowboy: And your common trait seems to be being an immature pissbaby. You don't know shit about me so quit pretending like you do.

HAH. He really fucking should. But he's gonna leave 'em anyways cause he can't fuckin. The guys got fucking committment issues.

Also fuck you cheap cowboy. You have no power here. Suck it up, will ya? Not like you don't deserve getting pissed on like this.

-Jack Bright

Ruby: Fuck, he does! Wish I could say more but I'm pretty sure it'd count as workplace harassment.

Cowboy: You know what? Fuck you. I'm leaving.

[breakroom-shenanigans]

Cowboy: You don't fucking know me or what I did or didn't do, and I don't need to tell you shit to prove it. I'm not your brother and there's a good chance I never did what your brother did. So let me repeat myself; I don't give a fuck whatever it is you're whining about. Cut that pityfest out and pull yourself together, act like a damn adult.

HAH. He really fucking should. But he's gonna leave 'em anyways cause he can't fuckin. The guys got fucking committment issues.

Also fuck you cheap cowboy. You have no power here. Suck it up, will ya? Not like you don't deserve getting pissed on like this.

-Jack Bright

Ruby: Fuck, he does! Wish I could say more but I'm pretty sure it'd count as workplace harassment.

Cowboy: You know what? Fuck you. I'm leaving.

[breakroom-shenanigans]

Cowboy: Look, I don't know what your fucking damage is, but if you have a problem with your brother then go bother him and leave me the fuck out of this. I don't care about your daddy-brother issues or whatever the fuck you have.

HAH. He really fucking should. But he's gonna leave 'em anyways cause he can't fuckin. The guys got fucking committment issues.

Also fuck you cheap cowboy. You have no power here. Suck it up, will ya? Not like you don't deserve getting pissed on like this.

-Jack Bright

Ruby: Fuck, he does! Wish I could say more but I'm pretty sure it'd count as workplace harassment.

Cowboy: You know what? Fuck you. I'm leaving.

[breakroom-shenanigans]

HAH. He really fucking should. But he's gonna leave 'em anyways cause he can't fuckin. The guys got fucking committment issues.

Also fuck you cheap cowboy. You have no power here. Suck it up, will ya? Not like you don't deserve getting pissed on like this.

-Jack Bright

Ruby: Fuck, he does! Wish I could say more but I'm pretty sure it'd count as workplace harassment.

Cowboy: You know what? Fuck you. I'm leaving.

[breakroom-shenanigans]

I can't he has bodyguards and he's my at-work superior. Can't even be let anywhere near the bastard. Doesn't stop me from sending him spam emails daily though.

That shit is funny until he threatened to cut my pay. Udders Man can't take a fucking joke.

-Jack Bright

Ruby: Booo, your brother's a fucking bore. He should go find somebody at farmersonly.com and chill the fuck out.

Cowboy:[mumble] I wish I could still dock your fuckin' pay...