bradrozner - Tumblr blog

[bradrozner]

Just heard the phrase gaslighting. Interesting concept. Wonder what kind of people do that?

[bradrozner]

Why you always in a mood?

Fuckin 'round, actin' brand new

I ain't tryna tell you what to do

But try to play it cool

Baby, I ain't playing by your rules

Everything look better with a view

I could never get attached

When I start to feel unattached

Somehow always end up feeling bad

Baby, I am not your dad (no)

It's not all you want from me

I just want your company

Girl, it's obvious, elephant in the room

And we're a part of it, don't act so confused

And you love startin' it, now I'm in a mood

Now we arguin' in my bedroom

We play games of love to avoid the depression

We been here before and I won't be your victim

[bradrozner]

This guy going to be playing at the drive-in movie theaters in Reno soon. I dedicate this song to no b**** in particular.

I might be better on my own

I hate you blowing up my phone

I wish I never met yo' ass

Sometimes it be like that

But I'm not myself the nights you're gone

There ain't no way I'm moving on

I'm not afraid to need you bad

Sometimes it be like that

Sometimes when you're falling off track

Baby, don't you leave me like that

Don't cry

'Cause we're both just out of our mind, yeah

[bradrozner]

I was driving around in my new motorhome about a week ago and two tires blew out cuz it's got dually. AAA asked me if it was registered and I said I just bought it yesterday and she said we won't cover doing anything If it is not registered. I kind of wondered why it seemed like somebody was whispering in her ear that knew what what's going on. I could have been a little bit under the weather or tired or intoxicated or something cuz when I called the towing company that AAA recommended the lady said do you want me to call 911 and I said no and she said are you sure you don't want me to just call 911?

It's hard to come up with an explanation for why these two ladies said what they said unless there was a little birdie on my shoulder and wanting to tell on me.

[bradrozner]

I remember something important possibly that I don't know If I documented it. The evil x went through a period of giving me pieces of truth, I thought, and then she'd want to hang up and call back in a very specific amount of time 4 minutes or 8 minutes or something like that. Then she would completely deny or ignore any of the possible truths she said in the previous call. That almost sets up a conversation that can be edited that would sound like I'm making all the s*** up and she was dumbfounded about why I'm bringing it up. Dirty pool for sure.

(I think the way to counteract that is to have my phone records that would show the time and length of all those conversations and they had better match the recordings or we could be fairly certain that there's a lot of editing going on or omissions.)

She would bring up things like "big brothers listening" and she needed to be very careful so she wouldn't get in trouble for child endangerment.

It kind of reminded me of watching you know gangster movies owhere the FBI was wiretapping everything and they had very specific rules on how long they could listen without hearing something criminal before they would have to hang up and stay off the line for a certain amount of time but I'm not sure what these rules are. All I know for certain is that the evil x spend a lot of time planting things inventing things and making speeches to try and get me set up for trouble.

Yeah and my oldest best friend of like 45 years did same kind of crap. This is a very special kind of evil.

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She totally looks like my last girlfriend in California Erica. I know you can only see the back but that was one of favorite parts and the room she's then looks like one at the county fair.

[bradrozner]

Does this blonde woman remind you of anyone you know? My guess and all of my friends think it is JH from Reno.

[bradrozner]

The universe does it again. Under the guise of reminding me that you can meet someone special in a moment and change how you feel about everything, make up for a whole decade in no time.

She walked right up to me and proceeded to tell me all about myself and how special I was, handsome, honest and maybe even more special you know on a 5,000-year context.

We spent the next four or five hours touching talking hugging and getting more and more excited about the special person we had met.

Almost ignoring that we told each other that there's a very good chance that we are leaving the state very very soon, in different directions one east and one west.

And she just confirmed she is gone in five more days. I know I should feel grateful to the universe and to her for another reminder that all I really have to do is to leave my house and go to some different places and if there's a special lady there I will hear from her in minutes.

But with the baggage I have from like the evil x I'll f****** blow it up. Long gone are the days where I trusted, where I wanted to I help, where I could hope.

Universe I love you very much but go f*** yourself.

Besides if I'm attracted, they are crazy (worse than me).

[bradrozner]

have a nice day :)

[bradrozner]

After I get some more confirmations and confessions I might quit seeking truth about my time in Reno. The haters who believed nothing I said for maybe two years will just be avoided indefinitely. They hopefully didn't realize how much harder, confusing and painful they made life for me.

This needs to end very soon with a new view and some therapy and rehad and peace and new friends. I've been hating life for too long cause the horrible things people think of to hurt others.

[bradrozner]

I was hoping to be wrong about a very old and close friend. But it has been around a year and he has failed so many tests. I will give him the benefit of the doubt and think he was in a terrible situation and felt he had to go that direction. I was very confused by his words and I have always understood him, not to say always agreed with him. So I feel terrible about how mad I was when he was leaving. I think it was really hurt that I hid in my anger because it is so hard to be vulnerable.

I'm not sure how to get over my closest people hating me so much. That is surely my lesson. I'm sorry friends for not trying enough to be more likable and lovable.

I think I was very patient because my first suspicion was easily a year ago when he answered his phone and said "don't call me here I'm under cover on a murder investigation". I asked him about it and he would say nothing. Months later he gave me the same response. I felt like we were not so close anymore. But at the time my ex was so terrible and I was hearing a lot of you're just paranoid. I bit my lip and began testing him for a long time.

I wanted to avoid drawing a final conclusion because my world was blown up by my "soulmates" betrayals and the rest of my universe might explode if such an old friend was betraying me.

Well there goes my universe. I have a few more people to question today to see if the list of betrayers grows beyond a half dozen.

I wish I was just paranoid. This is hell!

[bradrozner]

I'm taking over this song. Evil ex emailed this to me as her third attempt to have me break a no contact order. But the words are my story, not hers.

It's never enough to say I'm sorry

It's never enough to say I care

But I'm caught between what you wanted from me

And knowing that if I give that to you

I might just disappear

Nobody wins when everyone's losing

It's like one step forward and two steps back

No matter what I do you're always mad

And I, I can't change your mind

I know it's like trying to turn around on a one way street

I can't give you what you want

And it's killing me

And I, I'm starting to see

Maybe we're not meant to be

It's never enough to say I love you

No, it's never enough to say I try

It's hard to believe

That there's no way out for you and me

And it seems to be the story of our lives

Nobody wins when everyone's losing

It's like one step forward and two steps back

No matter what I do you're always mad

And I, I can't change your mind

I know it's like trying to turn around on a one way street

I can't give you what you want

And it's killing me

And I, I'm starting to see

Maybe we're not meant to be

There's still time to turn this around

You could build this up instead of tearing it down

But I keep thinking

Maybe it's too late

It's like one step forward and two steps back

No matter what I do you're always mad

And I, I can't change your mind

I know it's like trying to turn around on a one way street

I can't give you what you want

And it's killing me

And I, I'm starting to see

Maybe we're not meant to be

It's like one step forward and two steps back

No matter what I do you're always mad

And I, baby I'm sorry to see

Maybe we're not meant to be

[bradrozner]

Songs that tell my story

Good for you, you fooled everybody

Good for you, you fooled everyone

Good for you, now you're somebody

Good for you, you fooled everyone

Leave your weapon on the table

Wrapped in burlap, barely able

Don't get angry, don't discourage

Take a shot of liquid courage

'Cause my monsters are real, and they're trained how to kill

And there's no comin' back and they just laughed at how I feel

And these monsters can fight, and they'll never say die

And there's no goin' back, if I get trapped I'll never heal

Yeah, my monsters are real

Good for you, you hurt everybody

Good for you, you hurt everyone

Good for you, you love nobody

Good for you, you owe no one

Leave your weapon on the table

Wrapped in burlap, barely able

Call a doctor, say a prayer

Choose a god you think is there

'Cause my monsters are real, and they're trained how to kill

And there's no comin' back and they just laughed at how I feel

And these monsters can fight, and they'll never say die

And there's no goin' back, if I get trapped I'll never heal

'Cause my monsters are real

Leave your weapon on the table

Wrapped in burlap, barely able

Don't get angry, don't discourage

Take a shot of liquid courage

Leave a light on if you're able

'Cause we both know you're unstable

Call a doctor, say a prayer

Choose a god you think is there

'Cause my monsters are real, and they're trained how to kill

And there's no comin' back and they just laughed at how I feel

And these monsters can fight, and they'll never say die

And there's no goin' back, if I get trapped I'll never heal

Yeah, my monsters are real