br0kenwind0w

[br0kenwind0w]

I seen him pop up on my Facebook suggestions the other day

And everything replayed again

[br0kenwind0w]

I hate myself today :)

[br0kenwind0w]

I know you’ll probably see this, as I see you active on here.

There’s just a few things I wanna say

I am sorry, sorry for the pain I caused. I’m not giving up on you, nor will I ever. I made that promsie to you and intend to keep it.

You are hurting, as am I for the dissolving of our relationship. We rushed too quick and got burnt in the process. I should of slowed down, I should of listened, I should of worked harder.

I said a lot of hurtful things in the moment because I was hurt. Hurt that the one person I love would switch on me and walk away. There are no excuses for the way I acted out of emotion.

But I realize this now as the hours, days, and weeks pass by, that you needed this. WE needed this. We are both hurting and broken in our ways, and we didn’t suit well together in the time.

Our puzzle pieces are torn and didn’t fit together as both were still wounded from traumas and illnesses.

I know now, to better myself, as do you. We are working through everything being thrown at us, and together we will become new.

I will stick by your side, and I have hope you will too. I want nothing more than to have a life with you. I know you feel bad and think you used me, please don’t think that way anymore. Grow from it, realize that you did nothing wrong. You are battling your own faults, and I only fueled them with my own.

I will continue to work on my issues, as will you.

You have given me the most love I’ve ever felt, and also the most pain I have been dealt.

I knew you were the one the moment I locked eyes with you. I knew what I felt was true, and I would do anything in this lifetime to keep falling over and over in love with you.

I am not moving on, nor will I even consider. As I will be waiting here, for you to return home to me. Go fly and become yourself again. Heal yourself, and I will heal myself too.

Our puzzle pieces will finally connect again and it will hold the whole puzzle together, stronger and healthier than before.

When we return to home again.

I love you,

Forever and always

[br0kenwind0w]

When I hit play,

Scenes upon scenes start rolling

Each one about you, some visual, some audio

Every scene is you

The things I would do to you

How I would make you feel

How you would make me feel

Oh how these scenes play in my mind on a loop

I find myself moaning your name by the end of it

[br0kenwind0w]

Going insane trying to stay sane

[br0kenwind0w]

Hope you find me ;)

[br0kenwind0w]

Our eyes locking on eachother

Every chance we get

We stare deep into our minds and souls

How it makes me want you

Wanting to hold you

Kiss you, love you

The way your gaze falls upon me

I see the way you look at me

I look at you the same way

I’ll never get tired of our eyes on eachother

[br0kenwind0w]

The way you look at me

Makes me weak

The way you speak my name

Makes me fall even harder

The way you touch me

Makes me crave you

The way you feel with me

Makes me wish you were mine.

[br0kenwind0w]

Me getting high doesn’t help.

My body feels at peace and relaxed. But my mind is still in tact, still loosing control.

Thoughts? Still there

Body: Gone. At peace. Laying here relaxed.

Mind? Worse, still loud, still arguing, thinking too much.

Getting high, doesn’t help my mind.

At least tonight it didnt. Maybe it’s environmental.

This house makes me sick. Makes me hurt.

Who knows, it might work if I’m somewhere else. At peace. Relaxing. Then maybe

Maybe getting high, will help.

[br0kenwind0w]

Too many conversations in my mind

[br0kenwind0w]

When did my mother start showing signs of schizophrenia?

……

A question I never thought I’d have to ask.

[br0kenwind0w]

Can’t sleep…

Why am I sleeping next to someone,

That isn’t you

Why am I waking up to someone,

That isn’t you

Why am I stuck,

Stuck here with someone,

That isn’t you

[br0kenwind0w]

Forever and always,

And everything in between

[br0kenwind0w]

Hey love….

I’m proud of you <3

[br0kenwind0w]

You’re my favorite book

My favorite painting

My favorite sound

My favorite sight

My favorite thought

My favorite feeling

You’re my favorite everything

[br0kenwind0w]

I don’t use this much.

But I find myself checking to see if you’ve wrote anything new.