boyhuff

[boyhuff]

Rambling about kink/fetish goals ignore or don't.

Where to even begin,, the beginning of this year has already been hectic for me, but even before the last year was up I have been thinking long and hard about s&m, my dynamic, my submission, my limits,,, anything and everything that has to do with my sexuality for lack of better words.

For the longest time,, submission and kink just felt like a routine, something so long tied with my identity that I honestly started to lose the ability to identify why I enjoyed or was doing certain things to begin with, I just knew I did things because they made me feel good but I didn't like question or seek more of an answer within myself,,, but I feel like the last few months I have really been working in a place to not only feel more present in my body but also advocate what I want and why it is I want things.

I do honestly feel like shame is something I lost a long time ago in regards to my sexuality, especially in terms of growing up pretty repressed,,, my body is NOT where I want it to be right now, but it is still like the happiest and most complete I've ever felt in my body in my whole life and it just leads me to crave being seen, intimacy, sensory,,, and torture of course but honestly it's kind of hard being in a place in my life that is new and scary and I'm constantly afraid that although my desires lead me to feel complete, others will feel like some kind of secondhand shame being able to see all I am and all I really want on display,,, it's hard but this year I just really want to center maturity and growth,, and manifesting what it would mean to have the "bdsm life of my dreams" or whatever. I just want to put out in the universe what I want and that means not being afraid for it and also like just hoping the people I really love in my life (yes all 3 of you 😘) will see it as something they can like,, measure their desires up to and just go even further and know they are going to be loved and worshipped and wanted and yeah I don't know,,

This year is also really about strengthening my devotion to myself but more importantly my Owner. I want to be able to get even better about knowing my limits and pushing past them,,, I want to be able to not feel like I am a lot to handle and also show up for myself in a kinky sense too, last year I was pretty adamant about starting to do more solo play, but I didn't get past like a light bondage session and some general safety/education, but this year I want to do a lot more, masochism is something I crave a lot and use as a sense of pleasure but also to have a sense of control over a lot in my life and being able to seek masochism is something that genuinely makes me feel like I'm living,, I am going to work hard this year to make sure my Owner and I are in a good and safe place mentally and physically but I also am excited to try new things for myself,,, and that includes things in my life that people do find undesirable and freaky and y'know what,, I really enjoy that too, that really means it is something for myself, I know sharps is something I'm hoping to start getting into, it's something I've been thinking about for a quite a while now, especially interacting with a lot of people into needles/sharps/blood, it's something that scares me so much but I think that is also why I want it as well, something that is weird, scary, sexy, and I know I'd feel proud of myself for doing it,, anyways anyways this is messy, I have wanted to ramble about things for a long time and honestly use my blog space as more of a blog space and place to talk about/see my growth as everything that I am so I will keep working on it 👍

So in conclusion or whatever my goals this year are along the lines of: educating myself in all sorts of facets related to s&m, but also just being able to show up as a good partner during intimacy and outside of it too of course,, honesty, learn to further be unashamed of who I am, what I want, and be proud and own what it is I want,, practice more kink, partnered and solo. Learn my limits across different realms of pain and learn how to push them, learn how to better care for myself,,, just so much education and I also really want to put myself in positions to meet other people,, not necessarily to do scenes with them but just having more people in my life that get it or will fuel my evil little brain is just going to mean so much to me,, get better about having balance in my life so I can have the things I want/need in and out of my kink life,, put my Owner and I in the position to be happy, safe, comfortable,,, do more depraved and evil things,, and sharps is currently at the top of my list for new kinks this year,, maybe I'll add more if I think on it, I journaled about this as well and I'm sure my list is a little different of course

[boyhuff]

I love being a horny little bastard when I shouldn't and when people encourage me to be worse 👍

[boyhuff]

Prey that willingly wants to be a victim despite how terrified they are, staring up at you and shaking while they're dripping wet 🥰

[boyhuff]

I love doms who want to be praised while they are ruining their subs. I love doms/tops that are just big puppies and fuck you harder when you call them a good boy/girl 🥴

[boyhuff]

My owner got me a new collar and I am :333

[boyhuff]

I think we need to normalize guys taking dick while their girlfriends watch

[boyhuff]

Nothing makes me feel more like a dog than just heavily sniffing the people that I like. If your cunt is out even a little and I'm nearby I'm sticking my face right next to you and breathing you in like it's all I could want. Don't rush me, I'm just a stupid dog. Wagging my tail and whatever. Woof.

[boyhuff]

Groping is just better when it's humiliating and disrespectful and hedonistic. Pushing you against a wall and covering your mouth while I grab at your chest. Forcefully spinning you around and bending you over so I can get a better grip on your ass. Pulling your hair to force your head back so I can wrap my hand around your neck. Slapping you across the face while I explore the inside of your thighs. Invading your personal space, stripping you of your dignity and autonomy, until you're my dumb, needy grope slut, begging me to use you.

[boyhuff]

How's my piss taste? You look like you're loving it- eyes half lidded and brain fuzzy. You like how hot and wet it feels on you? C'mon, open your mouth more. You better appreciate that I'm doing this for you, faggot, don't waste any of it.

[boyhuff]

impact play, but you tie me up, blind fold me, and let others hit and touch me :3 i don’t even know who’s hurting me but it feels good, and i’m practically whimpering for more

[boyhuff]

getting fingerfucked by someone who’s wearing leather gloves. being able to feel their fingers in you even better, them pulling out and you being able to see how wet you are just by looking at their gloved hand. feeling the leather running over your bare thigh as they spread you open and push their fingers inside you, slowly fucking you while you whine and buck into their hand, trying to get more pleasure despite them already being stuffed into your desperate, dripping, needy hole.

[boyhuff]

One of the best thing about size difference is when you’re genuinely trying to fight them and you realize that they are really just so much stronger than you, that they really could overpower you and take you if they wanted to, and the only thing standing between you and that is the trust you have in them not to go too far. Because they wouldn’t take advantage of how helpless you are under them… right?

[boyhuff]

mean femme pushing your face into their bush until you can only smell their sweat <3

[boyhuff]

its kinda fun to let prey pull away a little when you already have it held down and stuffed full of your cock because then you can feel its tight hole gripping your dick as it lifts itself up off which then lets you thrust back in nice and deep and fast when you lunge forward to pin it again

[boyhuff]

Listen I get that wolves don't purr. It wouldn't make sense if werewolves purred...but imagine if they did. Imagine if a big scary werewolf purred when they lay on top of you. imagine the full-body vibrations while they rumble. I think it would be neat.

[boyhuff]

the farmer's guard dog

[boyhuff]

https://kigoh-neko.fanbox.cc/posts/2786366