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Bro who is this man and why was he in my camera roll

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I’m convinced we’re in a time loop because barbenheimer is just new age doomcrossing

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I know for a fact that anyone above the age of 10 goes on to minecraft and names their pets the worst name imaginable

“This is my dog,Gravel and this is my horse, Glue Factory.This guy right here is Short Ribs,my pig and here’s my pride and joy,my pink sheep”

“And what’s his name?”

“Waxed Oxidized Copper Staircase”

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I’m actually a part of a secret organization called “writers against the terrible people advocating Diogenes”. We usually just write smut as a form of protest

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I love my dogs don’t get me wrong but I’ll be talking to them mfs like they just mugged me with a bayonet

“Your one big fat little dingus”-Me to my dog at least 4 times a day

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People who listen to Oingo Boingo are odd like what else do you listen to, schmungle jungle? Munja plunja? “Hold on let me put you on sumn rq” and then mfs will play smorgasbord by the grangiusts

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I don’t know how tumblr works but from what the rest of the internet tells me I can say things like my favorite pizza topping is Uranium 235 and you people will clap like seals in seaworld