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Spotted this in a second hand bookshop and the whiplash I felt was so strong that I think I’ve discovered another 12 stages of grief

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Hadestown West End Recording 03/09/24

Not the best quality given that I was in the Grand circle, sorry about that.

*do not share outside of Tumblr*

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Chant I in a nutshell (click for higher image quality)

(OG meme under the cut!)

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House in 2024

House: faggot

Foreman: I.. don't think you should be saying that

Chase: arh naur I theenk he carn archally. Ave you seenim with Wilson?

Cameron: I think it's a little rude to speculate about someone's sexuality while they're in the room

House: oh no no, let Chase continue. I wanna know when he'll start describing how I take in in the ass-

*house realizes something*

House: WE HAVE TO CHECK THE PATIENTS ASS

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I think Amanda fully believed she and Sarek were dating for weeks or months before he realized that she thought that.

Like, Sarek is thinking he's doing SUCH a good job in Human Diplomacy, he has made A Human Friend. They do activities together, consume meals together, communicate outside of work functions in an informal fashion. Amanda makes an effort to show him Human culture and landmarks that are more likely to appeal to a Vulcan and is considerate of his different physiology in a way most Humans usually forget to be. She doesn't touch him without warning but still somehow uses body language to convey to other Humans that they are together on their activities. She gives him lots of signs of Human comfort and intimacy without pushing too hard at his Vulcan boundaries. He's Succeeding at Human socializing!

Meanwhile Amanda has like. Introduced him to her parents. Taken him to friends' weddings. Done super obvious This Is A Date activities with him, only tailored to accomodate Vulcan preferences about physical contact and emotional displays. SHE thinks she is doing So Good at Wooing The Vulcan. Sometimes he willingly touches her when they are out in public, to like, keep them from getting separated, or pull her out of the path of danger or discomfort, which as far as she knows is like Vulcan First Base.

But also she is a Human woman they have been dating for months and taking it slow for her Vulcan beau is beginning to grow...somewhat frustrating! A little! Like she enjoys spending time with him but also! She would sure like to touch him more! Maybe kiss him! She would even settle for feeling up his hands the way Vulcans do because she has gotten so preoccupied with his hands since they've been dating, she feels like a 19th century maiden, it's insane.

So she casually broaches the subject of whether or not Vulcans engage in sexual activity outside of Pon Farr (when they're having a quiet evening alone in one of their apartments, obviously, you don't have a sex talk with your very shy boyfriend in public) and Sarek is like. Well that's a very intimate topic, Amanda, why do you ask? Is there a Vulcan you are interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with?

And she's just like What.

And he's like (gently condescending) That sort of question could imply a "come-on", as you Humans would say.

And she's like I SURE HOPE IT WOULD, SAREK, MY BOYFRIEND OF SIX MONTHS, WITH WHOM I WOULD LIKE TO BE PHYSICALLY INTIMATE

And Sarek is like WHAT.

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Lately I've seen a lot of people using "Star Trek ending" as a shorthand way of saying "cheesy 60s ending where all the characters get together and laugh at some shitty one-liner until the freezeframe in order to wrap things up with a neat breezy bow" and, well. They're not wrong... but that's only half the episodes.

The other half of the episodes end with you staring at the TV in haunted existential silence because the story's thesis was "Don't delude yourself that waging war with technology is any less brutal than committing murder with your bare hands. You are a mortal and an animal like any other and if you think you have a justified reason to kill you had better be prepared to face your enemy, and recognize him as an intelligent equal, and smash in his skull with a rock."

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When Data learns about a new human custom he's like "wow life is such a rich tapestry I'm so pleased to participate in this social ritual with you and deepen our friendship (◡‿◡✿)", and when Odo learns about a new human custom he's like:

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This clip 😭😭😭🩷

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Apparently, back in the day, there was a really notorious tie in novel for Star Trek that had a lot of slash elements called Killing Time

The slash elements were requested to be removed by Paramount, and they were, BUT due to a mistake, the original was sent to print without the edits

When it was caught, they’d printed 250k of this “first edition” which subsequently became collectors items for Kirk/Spock fans, since later editions DID include the edits censoring the slash

NOW, I bring this up because my friend who’s into the original Star Trek found and was reading the first edition at the desk at the library we work at, cause we’re slow on weekends and we’re the only ones here. She laughs at it, so I ask and she tells me about the general backstory of the book, and that she laughed because (among other things) Kirk, who doesn’t get mad in the og series really, was being described as hot headed and apparently just getting into fights left and right

So I’m looking over her shoulder at the scene, commenting on the character changes that resemble modern fic-degradation of characterization for the sake of a shipping dynamic, when I realize something

Now, my only interaction with the Star Trek series directly was the 2009 reboot, and my friends hasn’t seen those and is only interested in the originals. As I’m looking at this scene, and my friend is pointing out the character changes to Kirk, I realize that this is the fucking premise of the reboot, down to the fucking alternative timeline shenanigans, the rank swap, and Kirk being a hotheaded fuck up

The 2009 film was literally based on this slash fiction misprint they tried to bury!

Im reeling.

I can’t be the only one who made this connection.

So I google to see if anyone else has, and oh yes, good, there was someone

The fucking author of Killing Time

…I feel like I’ve uncovered a conspiracy. I’ve still got 3 hours left in my shift and I can’t focus. The world must know.

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I love Star Trek with all my heart, but good god, whenever I see them do "Science" it makes me laugh so hard because PPE and Safety Protocols are literally nonexistent

Not to mention WHERE is the fume hood......

And not a single Electronic balance to be seen

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Star Trek makes me soooo crazy cuz you got Picard saying things like "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose."

And Data saying things like "I would gladly risk feeling bad at times, if it also meant that I could taste my dessert."

And Bashir saying things like “You can't go through life trying to avoid getting a broken heart. If you do, it'll break from loneliness anyway."

And Odo sayings things like "It has been my observation that one of the prices of giving people freedom of choice is that sometimes they make the wrong choice."

And I’m just supposed to be normal about it???

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Amok Time being Chekov's first episode will never not be funny to me. It's his first day on the job and the first officer is in heat

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thinking about that TNG episode where Riker says he never feels rested after sleeping and Dr Crusher tells him to just drink warm milk about it and then later it turns out he's been abducted by aliens 6 times and had his arm cut off. most accurate portrayal of dealing with the medical profession ever seen on screen

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Example art from Tumblr users @poltergrease @teenageclown @randomationality