bopowgs201

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Post-Partum Positivity

Just as there are a range of bodies and body types, there are also a range of pregnancies and pregnancy experiences.  No two women are alike. Women in these images describe a fear of pregnancy because of what it can do to one’s body. And they do it anyway. They describe a fear how it makes them feel.  And they do it anyway. They describe a need for a push-back from perfect post-partum bodies that don’t even look partum. 

Those stretch-marks and discolorations are battle scars of a hard-fought fight  to produce another generation. Let us thank these women for their sacrifice. 

Maybe the Chantals and the Sias can sit back a little less smugly and be grateful their body type and pregnancy experience went so well and didn’t revolt against her and were so quick to return them to the “before” instead of leaving them in an “after,” that’s only a reminder of sacrifice and should never be seen as an indicator of failure. 

And let’s not try to sell each other stuff that doesn’t actually help, and just takes advantage of someone in their moment of need. It’s not normal to not look like you’ve had a kid after having had a kid, and nor should it be something for anyone to aspire.

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Chantal just had a baby. Doesn’t Chantal look great? You too can look just like Chantal if you’re just strong enough.

And you don’t suffer from post-partum depression ...

And you didn’t have to have an episiotomy ...

And you’re not exhausted all the time from 2 am feedings ...

And the 4 am feedings (Why won’t this kid sleep?)

And you didn’t have a C-Section ...

And you only carry one child ...

And your epidural didn’t cause nerve damage ...

Be strong like Chantal.

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What does it mean to love this body? It means unlearning everything I’ve ever been taught about race, gender, size, ability, worthiness, and what life can look like. It means learning how to love other people like me, other non-conforming bodies. And it means freedom.

Tovar, Virgie. “Take The Cake: I Fight For This Fat Brown Feminine Body.” Ravishly. www.ravishly.com/fat-brown-feminine-body.

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But this was real life, walking past my mirror the other day and realising how amazing women's bodies are!!'

Ryan, Cara. www.en.mogaznews.com/Fashion/794359/Kara-Ryan-on-post-baby-body.html.

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“You’re just not willing to do the work,” says Sia Cooper.

“Find your motivation and never give up.”

How did she become the fit mommy?  Someone is able to support her, and she has the free time. “I actually quit nursing to become a stay at home mother and to pursue my hobby of blogging,” says Mrs. Cooper.

How nice for Mrs. Cooper.

However, is her focus really having a taught body, or hawking a meal plan to insecure individuals that don’t look like her, as if that were the salve? Sia says, “I created my community of SBG Girls who are on the Strong Body Guide which is the main workout and meal plan that I offer. The plan is wonderful for any woman out there regardless of being a mom or not.”

These pictures create the unrealistic, idealized expectation that this is even a realistic option for most women.

Mrs. Cooper doesn’t have a full time job.�� Much like Virginia Woolf, when you have a room of your own to write in and work out in, you can get more done than the women who do not have those things. Mrs. Cooper needs to check her privilege and celebrate all postpartum bodies, and not just bodies like hers that don’t look like they’ve even been through the pregnancy experience.

-Cooper, Sia. Diary of a Fit Mommy. www.diaryofafitmommy.com/community/

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All postpartum bodies deserve to be celebrated no matter how they look — and not harassed or ridiculed for being proud of all that they are and all that they have done,

Boggs, Meg. www.smartparenting.com.ph/pregnancy/labor-and-childbirth/moms-postpartum-body-group-photo-a00041-20190615

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A scar is a lasting indication of an injury. 

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“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” – Kenji Miyazawa

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This beautiful woman is also reality.  The discoloration and the stretch marks that are the battle scars of creating life.

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"When I was younger, I’d look at my mom’s belly full of stretch marks — and wonder why it’d gotten like that. ⁣I didn't yet realize all the time, sacrifice, and strength it must have taken for her to endure a healthy pregnancy, followed by a cancerous molar pregnancy, followed by a 'miracle' pregnancy. ⁣I didn't yet realize that, to her, those marks represented her kids — her two gifts. ⁣It wasn’t until recently when I looked into the mirror and saw my belly after birthing my own two babies that I realized my belly is like hers.⁣ It is full of stretch marks that mark two of the most beautiful periods of my life.”

-Torres, Krista. “14 People Shared Photos Of Their Bodies After Giving Birth, And It's The Definition Of Beauty And Strength.” Buzzfeed. www.buzzfeed.com/kristatorres/postpartum-beauty-2020.

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Hey Ladies! Here’s a couple of more examples of what women might look like just one month after having given birth. 

You just need to try hard enough? 

You just need to have a positive attitude?

You just need to stay toned while you were pregnant.

You just need not to eat too much.

You just need to ignore those swollen ankles.

You just need to work through those emotions.

You just need to find the energy.

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“I mean, I look back now and realize that I was unprepared for what my emotions and body and energy level would, you know, consist of…There’s not enough, in my opinion, not enough working mothers who kind of talk about who they leaned on and how they got through that difficult time.�� – Amy Poehler

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"The truth was that I had birthed two healthy children, and my body was an amazing reminder of that. I had to realize that postpartum bodies are to be celebrated for being givers of life, not condemned for their inability to fit into what society says is beautiful. It took months of practicing self-care and self-love to slowly release the narrative that my body wasn’t good enough. And now I happily wear waist beads and bikinis, no longer thinking my body isn’t good enough to do so.

"To any other moms struggling to accept their postpartum bodies, don’t let societal norms define you. They aren’t tangible things most people can obtain naturally. Find joy in embracing all the things that make you uniquely beautiful."

-Torres, Krista. “14 People Shared Photos Of Their Bodies After Giving Birth, And It's The Definition Of Beauty And Strength.” Buzzfeed. www.buzzfeed.com/kristatorres/postpartum-beauty-2020.