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Great Expectations

For as long as I can remember, everybody has always stressed “balance.” Balance your diet, fruits and veggies, Omega-3s, not too many artificial sugars. Balance your work and play, don’t spend the whole night buried in a book (unless it’s Pride & Prejudice). I’ve been able to grasp and integrate those balances into my life. So why is it that when my mother tells me to balance my expectations of love, my fantasy of Mr. Darcy with something more realistic, I simply can’t?

I’ve always had great expectations of love. I’ve watched friends settle for less-than-worthy men (sometimes even returning to known cheaters–the damn Wickhams of the world). Though to say so reeks heavily of bitterness,” Men are either eaten up with arrogance or stupidity. If they are amiable, they are so easily led they have no mind of their own whatsoever.” 

But I’ve also seen my friends find great men, like Connie and Chris–a couple so mind-blowingly adorable that I can’t spend too much time with them for fear of falling in love with her boyfriend’s accent. 

And then I read novels, and my expectations rise. The thing I’ve struggled to understand is this, novelists don’t dream up completely unfathomable scenarios–teachers always say, “Write what you know.” So why is it that people keep telling me I can’t find my Mr. Darcy? That he’s fictional. 

Well obviously, he’s fictional. I’m not completely insane. But the character of Mr. Darcy wasn’t something that Austen just randomly dreamed up over night–he was the fictional version of her real-life love Tom Lefroy. (I highly recommend watching Becoming Jane, if I’ve peaked your interest on the matter. Available on Netflix.) 

When I speak of finding my Mr. Darcy, I’m clearly not referring to the fictional man–I refer to a desire for that same level of love and adoration in a man, finding someone who would do anything to make me happy, even if his feelings may not be reciprocated. To find someone who embraces the best in my family and at least tolerates the worst–I have my own Lydia Bennet as a sister. 

I’ve spent years trying to check my inevitable pickiness when it comes to guys–I think I’ve almost got it down to a science. I’m able to figure out almost from the get-go if there’s some random attribute that I won’t be able to get past. It’s really just easier for everyone involved if I cut it down early.–ironically, friendzoning guys has left me with very few actual male friends. But you know the only thing that comes from my pickiness? My continued singleness. 

Around this time last year, I met an adorable ex-football player who proved totally dateable. I was up  in the gym “just working on my fitness” (yoga) and he caught me off guard by walking over and goofily striking a sad excuse for a tree post. “Is this right?” I still smile to think about it.

We only hung out for a few weeks because it was the end of the semester, and I had to move back to Nebraska for the summer. He was graduating and transitioning into adulthood–so it wasn’t that I nitpicked him apart and tossed him aside, or that I got bored with him (which happens more frequently than I should admit). The timing was just off. 

I actually ran into him a few weeks ago on a bus headed downtown. We picked up like we hadn’t not talked for 10 months. I even suggested we officially catch up and grab lunch sometime–turns out the timing is still off. He has a girlfriend. (The fact that he told me this outright made it that much more of a bummer. He’s a really good guy.) 

This is my depressing dilemma. In all my time spent in college, I’ve only seriously considered dating one guy. I find this so confusing, because I see cute guys everywhere I go. But it seems like once I get to know them, I find out they’re uneducated, shallow, vain, but just altogether not right. So how is a girl supposed to find Mr. Darcy if he keeps hiding from me?

Everyone keeps saying, “He’s out there,” but after x amount of bad dates, you really start to question his existence. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you really need to cast a wide net. I’m trying my hardest not to write guy off right away–but they really don’t make it easy.

I don’t understand why I can accept the flaws in myself and even in my friends, but when it comes to potential boyfriends, I seek a near unrealistic perfection? Contrary to what I’d like to believe, real life isn’t like a romantic comedy. I’m not a Jennifer Aniston, or a Cameron Diaz, or a Lily James (life goals though). So why do I think that “God Only Knows” will play over my happy ending, like in Love Actually. 

Even if my life can’t ever actually be a rom-com, I remain determined that I can find my real-life version of Mr. Darcy. As much as I put him up on a pedestal, he had flaws just like anybody else–evident by the very title of the book.

The unique thing about people is that we all have different tastes. And a Mr. Darcy-type might not work for everyone. Personally, I need a quieter guy, because (clearly) I have a lot to say. If I–and the other hundreds of thousands–of Ausenites can embrace Mr. Darcy with all his flaws, surely I can do that with a real man? 

I think it really boils down to allowing myself to be vulnerable, because if I break it off first for some small, picky reason, he won’t have the chance to reject me. Let’s face it, rejection sucks. So why not enjoy the initial fun part of dating before getting into the hard stuff, the potential heart-breaking stuff. 

I can say that I’ve never been in love. This hasn’t been a conscious choice, as I hope I’ve accurately demonstrated above. I always find a reason to pull back, just when the guy is ready to push forward.

Sometimes, I wonder if I would even recognize my Mr. Darcy if he was right in front of me. I comfort myself with the fact that Elizabeth didn’t for about the first 3/4s of the book. I think that if the right man came along, my Mr. Darcy and no one else’s, I would know it. 

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The facts are these: Disney has no intention of releasing a complete series set of Gravity Falls. Alex Hirsch has expressed on several occasions how he wishes it wasn’t so. Alex, like many of us, is a consumer— Would LOVE to have a series DVD/Blu-Ray box set. A set with every episode, every short, the mini-sodes (like “Old Man McGucket’s Conspiracy Corner”, “Shop at Home With Mr. Mystery”, etc.), commentary, extras, the whole works!

But Disney doesn’t think there will be a market for physical copies in the future, so they just don’t bother with their television properties.

Here’s what we can do to let them know otherwise:

We’ve started a letter writing campaign to Gary Marsh, President and Chief Creative Officer for Disney Channels Worldwide.

(Don’t worry, we’ve heard he’d be fine with it.)

Us fans have to let Disney know that we want this product. That if they make it available we’d be willing to pay for what Alex would honestly love to give us!

Write to:

Gary Marsh 3800 W. Alameda ave. Burbank, CA 91505

There is also this petition you can sign. Add your name to this growing list of fans, if only to show Disney we’re out there! (http://chn.ge/1Q8ASSB)

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Just a little reminder of what’s to come this year. ;D

Happy New Year!

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In 2016 I will read...

Whatever the F I want.

I will ignore challenges. I will ignore Goodreads goals. I will ignore what other people are reading.

I will read what inspires me. What entertains me. What makes me laugh. What makes me cry.

I will read for me.

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Boxing Week Sale Surprise Bags from Geek Studio

Each box has over $30 worth of merch in it for only $15!

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Yess I loved this movie.

The whole time I was watching The Man from U. N. C. L. E. I was literally just sitting there smiling like an idiot and wondering why/how so many critics hated this movie

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so excited about the movie *0*

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Read more about Fyodor Dostoyevsky here

Source for Quote: Lisa Congdon

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Suspense, Horror and Mystery Genre Differences Infographic

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INVITATION TO THE BALL | listen here | 8tracks profile

We have the honour and pleasure to invite you to the ‘grand bal’ to be held in the imperial palaces. Wear your best frock and cologne, move your fan in a flirty fashion and get ready to hit the ballroom floor.

Waltzes, polkas, mazurkas and other 19th century dances/divertissements to have that feeling of a victorian party going WILD

And the dancing has begun now, And the dancers whirl round gaily In the waltz’s giddy mazes, And the ground beneath them trembles.

- H. Heine,  Book of Songs, Don Ramiro, Stanza 23

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More quotes here