bonfireheart - Tumblr blog

bonfireheart · 2 years ago

Text

title: Not Enough Time, Too Many People

blurb: the one in which Scarlett doesn’t mean to ignore you, but all you want is your mother. (Teen!Fem!Reader)

warnings: swearing, yelling, fighting, sexism, high school violence/bullying

“Rose! Get off!”

I struggled against my little sister as she wrestled herself on top me, hitting me across my face and chest in the process.

“Play with me!”

Her voice wavered, sadness intwined into her tone as she stared at me with the best puppy dog eyes she could muster in attempt to convince me to indulge in her game.

“No Rose, I’ve got work to do. Go play alone in your room!”

We tussled some more before I accidentally shoved her a little too hard and she fell to the floor with a large thud. And as quickly as she had been to run into my room and start bugging me, the waterworks turned on, filling not just my room, but the whole house. Her wails were loud and deafening.

I looked up to see my mother running into the room, with Colin in tow, concern written over their faces as they made their way towards the source of the noise.

“Oh my munchkin, what’s happened here? Shh it’s okay.” She spoke as she bundled Rose into her arms, and sat herself on my carpet at the child’s level.

With a shaky finger and jutted lip, I was pointed at like a deer caught in headlights. The two adults stared at me with disappointment etched on their aura and face.

“Wait hold on! I know how this looks but really-“

“Don’t. You should know better, Y/N. She’s just a kid.”

‘I’m a kid too…’ filled my brain but that might cause more harm than good if I say it out loud. I just awkwardly huffed and mumbled a “sorry” under my breath, watching as the three of them walked back out of the room. I heard faintly some promises of “Cuddles��, “Sisters a meanie” and “Ice Cream”.

Should I have pushed my sister that hard? No. But it’s not like I meant to. It feels like the worlds been piling on top of me lately, school, assignments, the family name and trying to start my professional career in soccer. I used to have it so under control, but now it seems like everyone wants everything from me and I’ve not got time to even remember myself. I feel useless because I can’t do what’s asked of me, mom manages to keep up, so why can’t I? Rose coming in here and messing around with my work, and hitting herself against me threw me over the edge. It’s been a long time coming, my stress was just waiting for someone to tip the ship.

Normally, I’d go to my mom for when I needed a break from life, or advice but it seems that every time I try she’s just too busy, tired or annoyed. Furthermore, it’s not like I want her to worry about me. She’s got enough to deal with. Alas, I’ve tried, and will continue to try. I just don’t know what it will take for her to finally remember I’m her child and not a colleague or friend.

•/\•

“Hey mama, can you just look at this tactic I’ve been working on real quick? I could use another opinion on it.”

“Oh uh, I’m sorry, I’ve got to run over to Chris’ house, he needs help with a script. Definitely show it to me later though!”

Front door slammed shut.

“Don’t bother…” I spoke out to the now empty house.

•/\•

“Mom, do you think we could watch a movie together? We haven’t spent time together in ages.”

“Y/N my love, I’d really love to, but mom is really tired right now and I’m in desperate need of sleep. Do you think you could help Rose with her homework? Thanks.”

“…no proble-“

Her bedroom door shuts in my face.

•/\•

“Ma, could you drop me at my friends house? I’ve got a project I need to work on for school.”

“For heavens sake Y/N, can you not see I’m absolutely swimming in work right now? I’ve been in and out calls all day and you think I’ve got all the time in the world? Go bother Colin, or better yet, walk.”

I ended up catching the bus that day, which was met by its own swarm of problems. And by problems, I mean paparazzi absolutely surrounding the bus at each stop, waving cameras into the windows, desperately searching to get pictures of me.

•/\•

“Johansson! You’re late. Five laps!”

“Yes coach! Sorry coach!”

I internally cursed myself as I began to pace around the field. Why can’t I just do anything right recently? Everything just isn’t going my way at all, and I don’t know what I did in my past life to deserve what has happened to me over the past few weeks.

By the time I had hit my fourth lap, I cringed as I saw the boys’ team slowly making their way to practice. This never ended well, ever. I saw them snickering as they watched me run.

“Hey Y/N, coach got you running because you’re so useless at soccer?”, “How’s the whole famous mom thing working out for you now?”, “God you are shit at soccer, but look at those tits bounce!”.

“Shut the fuck up Theo!” I slammed to a stop.

“Yeah, no.”

“Well, ‘those tits’ are not attracted to you, or your tiny dick. Or tiny brain, for that matter.”

“Fucking bitch! Think you’re so tough? I’ll fucking show you tough.”

I readied myself as he came charging toward me, knocking me to the ground. We fought on the floor for a bit, he threw punches at me, I threw some at him. The pair of us rolled around for what felt like forever before both our coaches had untangled us from each other.

“The principals office, now! I’ve had it up to here with you two constantly!”

•/\•

“A fight, seriously Y/N? I did not raise you to be violent.”

I side glanced my mom from my highly uncomfortable place in the passenger seat.

“I had to leave the office to come get you. I was in a meeting about new products and was interrupted by a phone call from your damn school. Do you know how embarrassing it was to try and keep a straight face in front of my own staff?”

I slightly shuffled nearer the door, and laid my head back against the cool, black leather.

“You know, a sorry wouldn’t be out of order right now!”

I watched as her grip on the steering wheel got tighter.

“Aren’t you going to ask me?”

“What would I possibly ask you right now?”

“Why I fought him…”

I grumbled lowly and I’m more surprised she wasn’t getting more annoyed at my attitude. This is the first time in ages we’ve actually had a proper conversation, granted it seems pretty one sided right now, but still. The car pulled into the houses driveway, her eyes bore into the side of my head. I refused to look at her. I knew if I did, I would just start crying.

“You are a Johansson. I know you didn’t ask to be born one, but it’s too late for that. You have a name to keep, and you are damn lucky for it too.”

I scoffed and turned my head even further away from her. Of course that was her go to, ‘you have a famous name, so don’t jeopardise my job’. I bit my lip and roughly shoved my seatbelt off of me. My bag was already sat on my lap, and so I hastily got out of the car and paced towards the front door.

I could quickly feel her coming from behind me, but I didn’t bother to hold the door open for her, instead letting it slam shut just before she had reached it. I marched into the kitchen where Colin and Rose were situated, him making lunch whilst Rose sat and watched.

“How dare you! You do not walk away from me young lady, especially not in this situation. And go to your room! I’ll talk to you when you decide to act like your age.”

Groaning, I shoved my way past her, brushing against her shoulder lightly.

“I hate your job, I hate myself and I hate being a fucking Johansson!”

I saw as her face registered what I said, and it dropped significantly. I was too emotional to care, and instead stomped my way upstairs to my room, banging the door shut and throwing headphones on, blasting music to take my mind off of life.

•/\•

Three hours had passed, I was kicking a football against the wall, watching it bounce back to me and then kicking it again.

I’d turned off my music a while ago, hearing a completely silent house, and thus I’d presumed the three of them had gone out without me. Suits me.

Creak.

My bedroom door opened softly and slowly, I watched as my mom slowly emerged from behind it. Her tearful face alarmed me, and made me feel even more guilty and deflated than before. She had a tray with two cups of steaming liquid and a bowl of cut up fruits with two forks.

“No balls in the house in the house, you remember what happened last time sunshine.”

And though I was anxious at her being here and possibly annoyed, I couldn’t help but let a small smile fall onto my features. It’s like my heart was completely betraying my brain. I don’t know if it was the memory of me accidentally putting a ball-shaped dent in the kitchen wall, or the fact that she used a nickname I once knew all too well that I haven’t heard in ages. It’s been months since she’s mentioned it, but it still falls so naturally from her lips. It brings me comfort, a feeling a warmth that nobody else could ever give me.

I let the ball come to a stop as she pushed her way further into the room, placing the tray down on my side table and sitting cross legged on my bed. She stared at where I was stood, a glint in her eyes showcasing her silent plea for me to come sit down in front of her.

I accepted the invitation and took place in front of her, letting my legs hang loosely over the side of the mattress. A silence lulled over like a wave in the sea once again, and I could tell she was struggling to get words out, perhaps not even knowing how or where to start.

“You know I am so proud of you, right?”

Good choice. My heart welled at her praise, it’s the only thing I ever want. The whole world could hate me, but as long as mom is on my side, I could take on everything. A sheet of tears blurred over my eyes instantly, and I inhaled a sharp breath. I didn’t think I would break this easily, but here we are, the first sentence of this conversation and I’m already about to cry.

“We are going to talk after, but first you are just going to listen to me and what I have to say.”

I nodded, waiting for her to continue.

“I’m so proud of you, ok? My Angel, you were my gift from the heavens above. I don’t say it a lot, and I’m sorry. I started acting when I was very young, my world turned upside down and nothing felt right anymore. Until I had you. It felt like my heart was whole for the first time in years. I know I haven’t been showing that to you lately, and that’s my fault. I haven’t given you the attention you deserve recently, and I wish I had a reason good enough to explain why. But I don’t, nothing will ever justify my actions. You are my child, and you always will be, not matter how old you get. Sometimes I get worried that as you get older, you won’t want to be around me as much anymore, and I guess my way of dealing with that was just helping speed up the process. I want you to know that I will never make you feel this way again. You are so beautiful and talented, and anyone who makes you feel otherwise is blind. I love you more than life itself, sunshine.”

A stray tear fell down her cheek, clearly demeaning her attempts of keeping her emotions at bay, and she learnt forward to carefully pull me into her arms. I hadn’t even tried to stop myself from crying, all the emotions of the past few weeks was coming to head, and I manoeuvred myself right up against her. I don’t care how old I am now, I forgot how nice it was to just sit in her arms. They are the most comforting blanket ever made. Even though I’ve grown, I’m taller than my mom now and I’ve built myself up playing sport, I knew I looked so feeble cuddling into her. This is all I’ve been craving for.

We simply sat like that for a while. The only noise were the occasional sniffles from either of us, just desperately holding on to each other as if one was going to leave.

“You wanna tell me how you ended up in a fight?”

“…”

“Ok, I don’t want to ruin this moment, but I will go back to strict mom if you don’t.”

I grumbles under my breath as the image of Theo filled my mind, taking me back to the past events of today.

“Just Theo…”

I laughed as I saw the look of distaste appear on mom’s face at the mention of his name. She knew everything about him. If she could pick me up from practice, or if she’d managed to sneak away from work to watch one of my games, she’d always take me out for a milkshake and fries. It was our thing. I’d sit and tell her about my day which would inevitably involve the teenage douchebag.

“I know you tell me to just ignore him but I just couldn’t this time. He was saying stuff about you and then about my body…I had to retaliate.”

She didn’t say anything at first, instead she just studied my face. I shot her a confused look and she reached forward to cup my chin in her hand, pushing it upwards and to the side.

“You’ve got bruises forming on your nose and eye…”

“If you think I look bad, you should of seen him.”

Mom struggled to hide her smile at me, as she jokingly slapped my arm. Without another word, she pulled my face back into her and she cradled my head whilst stroking my hair.

“If you ever feel like you are starting to not like yourself, I want you to come to me, ok? Straight away, without fail. I promise I’ll listen from here on out.”

I nodded into her from where I was situated. Her floral scent filled my nose and it just felt like home.

#scarlett johansson x reader #scarlett johansson #Scarlett johansson x teen!reader #Scarlett johansson x kid!reader #marvel cast #marvel cast x teen!reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x teen!reader

460 notes · View notes

bonfireheart · 2 years ago

Text

title: Trust Takes…A Near-Death Experience?

blurb: the one in which the newest combat avenger that has limited healing abilities proves themselves. (fem!reader)

warnings: Clint should look around before leaving cover, Reader just wants acceptance (at the cost of hurting themselves), injury, medbay vibe?, passing out, the team are kinda mean to start with, swearing

“Now, everybody follow instructions. Nobody go off and do their own thing, this is a quick in and out mission.”

The voice of the Captain boomed through the tech-clad jet, and the brightness from the overhead lights found love in my eyes, causing me to squint in attempt to see my surroundings.

“Stark, Nat and I will clear the pathway to the entrance. Wanda, Sam and Buck, cover and protect the perimeter. Clint and Y/N enter the building quietly, get the flash drive and leave. Don’t make contact with anyone inside.”

A chorus of “got its” and a cheeky “Sir yes sir” from Sam replaced the single voice. Clint made his way over to me, blindly handing me a small handgun.

“Just in case. You should stay behind me, stay in the shadows unless I tell you otherwise. This should be easy.”

His voice was sharp and I could tell he was annoyed I was partnered up with him. I felt the whole group’s eyes set on me and shuffled back in my seat awkwardly.

Stark stood up, lowering his helmet over his head. “Yeah and uh, when you see HYDRA agents try to stay loyal to us. I know they used to be a such a dear part of your life.”

Hostility was woven in his words, and snickers surrounded me. If the ground felt like eating me whole now would be the perfect time. Or eating them. That would be better, and it would be nice to see them grovelling for my help.

Ever since Fury took me in as a HYDRA escapee, the team have been less than pleased by my mere existence. I’m not stupid, I’ve heard them talking. Things about how they couldn’t trust me, that I was a double agent. It hurt sure, but I couldn’t blame them. Who would genuinely believe that an ex-convict would want to play hero to the world? That doesn’t make their words sting any less though. Wanda wasn’t always the good girl, and neither was Nat. Bucky was one of me for gods sake. The constant bitter phrases and venomous speeches filled my life. If I got hurt on a mission, I am convinced they’d just leave me.

“Great, they’ve already zoned out.” Bucky’s voice pulled me back into reality.

Truth is, this mission was kind of scaring me. They keep calling it a simple deal, but there’s too much history there for me. What if one of the agents walking around recognise me? Would they kill me? Or would they drag me back into that lifestyle? I don’t want any part of that, and I sure as hell am working everyday to repay the world for what I did against it.

“We’re here. Get ready.”

Wanda arose from the seat beside me, giving me one glance over before stationing herself behind the doors. Same with Natasha. And Cap, Tony, Bucky, Sam and Clint.

I sighed and stood, slowly pacing my way over to them. I shut my eyes and inhaled lightly, exhaled lightly. Just like Ma taught me.

The shudder of the doors opening reminded me to extra care of myself on this mission, stay in cover and do as I’m told. I’ve resigned myself to doing that every mission though. A part of me hopes that if I just let them control everything and make the rules, well then, maybe they’d start to warm up to the idea of me.

I felt Clint grab on to my arm as he tugged me towards some boulders sat just by the entrance. I allowed myself to be pulled along and crouched low to avoid being detected. We sat in silence together, I kept my eyes trained on the scene playing out before me. I watched as the others killed people quickly and quietly, and as Nat made her way to the door of the building and opened it, ready to kill any onlookers they may have missed. I felt Clint’s eyes place on to me a few times, either from concern or disgust, I’m not too sure, and I’d rather not know.

It was time. I stood from our cover and let Clint lead the way to the door. Nat offered him a small smile as he went inside, and instantly dropped it when she saw me.

Ouch.

‘Don’t let it get to you.’ I could hear my mother’s voice in my head. It chanted like it was some mantra until I found myself following what it was saying.

The inside of the building wasn’t that much different to the outside. It was bleak, grey and was a hub of sadness if anything. Clint was four steps ahead of me, and didn’t so much as turn around to see if I was even there. Part of me thinks he wouldn’t even question my disappearance, that he just expected me to turn double agent real quick and not look back.

We found the room quickly. It wasn’t hard to locate, nor was it well secured. Typical of HYDRA. They focused their resources in the wrong places. The metal door was heavy and rusted, turning into more of a bronze colouring. It was unlocked and made a loud ‘clank’ as we opened it.

I internally cringed as the sound rang through the empty hallways. The noise was starkly contrasted when a deafening silence fell upon us. Then the footsteps came running. One pair, two pairs, several pairs of people could be heard nearing us. And as if to mock us even further, a blaring alarm played out suddenly. If this wasn’t a serious situation, it possibly would of been funny.

The archer grabbed me by the wrist and quickly tugged us into the dark room, and we found solace behind a cabinet. It wasn’t long before the door to the enclosed space opened again, and from the corner of my eyes I could see the shine of flashlights reflecting against the silver panels of the area.

“раскрыть себя (reveal yourselves).”

I shuddered at the sound of Russian. It reminded me all too well of my past, a past I’m far from proud of. The footsteps paced around the room some more, before the flashlights turned off.

“все чисто (all clear).”

Slowly, the resonating footsteps got further and further away. I knew better than that though. There is at least two men still in this room, I know HYDRA like the back of my hand. ‘Sad that they haven’t changed their ways after all these years’, and god I need to stop thinking serious situations are funny.

Before I could garner my attention back to Clint, his grasp on me lessened and though I tried stop him, he moved into plain sight.

Silence.

I held my breath and prepared for what came next, it was inevitable.

I heard Clint sigh, “Shit.”

“Ah Mr Barton, рад встрече (nice to meet you).”

A gruff Russian accent coated the man’s words, the tension in the air was thick and surrounded the room. I watched as Hawkeye slowly reached back for an arrow, setting it into his bow. I felt helpless, I couldn’t blow my cover just yet, and Clint is way too egotistical to ask for help. But still, I know this is not going to end well for him, no matter how skilled he is, he is way too outnumbered. He just doesn’t know it yet.

Ping.

The sound of a sleek, metal point hitting its bullseye in the shape of a man’s head. And lord, Clint has just brought war upon himself.

Before he could reload, or I could pull out my weapon, I heard as the door slammed open and more agents rushed in. Curse the archer for thinking he always knows best.

Gunshots resonated throughout the building, and one could only pray the others could hear it. A hand reached up to my ear piece quickly, and I pressed on it.

“Guys! Backup plea-Clint!”

I watched in horror as he dropped to the floor with a vast array of gunshot wounds taken nest on his shoulders, stomach, torso and just below his heart.

Grabbing my gun from my holster, I left cover and finished off the final three men in the room. I looked around the floor, and fair dues to Barton, he had managed to take out a fair few of them. A groan articulated from beside me and I dropped to my knees in concern. I knew I didn’t have long before more HYDRA officials found their way here and could just hope that the rest of the team would come bursting through the door.

“Clint! Clint, look at me ok? You need to stay still, I’m going to heal you, don’t move.”

My words were shaky and unstable, I don’t know if he could even understand me. But even if I was speaking properly, this man is at deaths door and words wouldn’t be comprehensible anyway. My hands rested comfortably above Clint, a small gap allowing for the particles to flow out of my hands and over his body. I worked silently, even when the door slammed open. One, two, three, four…there was at least fifteen gunshots covering him. I don’t know how far my healing ability can cope with this. I had only ever used it on myself, it was simple trick that was injected into me by HYDRA to ensure they could keep sending me out on mission after mission.

I didn’t dare move even when I heard shouts of Russian around me, or shots being fired into me, all that mattered was making sure his family had their husband and dad in one piece. I watched as his wounds slowly covered over, and as the bleeding came to a stop. My hands didn’t leave him until I knew for sure that every little mark on him was healed.

Pain pricked into me, it was didn’t hurt that much yet it made me scream. I looked up in horror and was met by the rest of the team. It felt like everything was in slow motion now. My head felt woozy and light.

‘Huh, so at least I know I can heal a pretty much dead man’. Not now brain…not now.

My eyes fluttered open and shut like a butterfly, the voices of the team were drained and quiet and my vision was blurry.

The sound of me dropping to the floor.

•/\•

Beep.

“She’s waking up, get Bruce.” “She’s awake?” “Shut up, you’re being too loud.” “You shut up!”

Open door.

“Bucky, Sam. She does not need to hear loud noises right now of all times.”

“…sorry Bruce.”

Footsteps, shut door.

My senses slowly came back to me. I can hear my heart monitor. I can feel a blanket clad around my body. I can smell disinfectant, a aroma of cleanliness. I can taste the metallic tang of blood. I let my eyes open and instantly winced at the light compared to darkness of shut eyes.

“Oh! Sorry about that.” Bruce walked over to my bed and pushed the bright lamp that shone over me to face the wall.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like the devil tried finishing the job.”

He laughed in a geeky sort of way. I don’t mind Bruce. I’ve never met met somebody who contrasted their hero alias as much as him, but I guess that’s what made him more likeable. I saw him slightly tamper with the many wires attached to my hand. He must of felt my eyes on him,

“I’m just upping the morphine.”

“No need.” I allowed my hands to perch on top of my chest and focused my energy towards myself. Gradually, it felt like the ton of bricks was being lifted from my shoulders.

“That works too, I guess. Super cool by the way, the healing thing, wish I had that.”

The door crashed open again, this time the team came stumbling into the room.

“I said one at a time!” Natasha spoke up.

“Yeah, you just always got to be right dont you?”

“Stark, I will widow bite you.”

Wanda made her way over to me with a steaming bowl. It smelt amazing, and my stomach was absolutely begging for food. Not to mention the need to recharge my energy.

“It’s gulyas. My mama’s recipe. I’ve seen you eat it before so I just thought…”

“Thank you Wanda. It smells like home.” I leant forward to take the bowl from her.

“Should you be feeding yourself?” She asked as she moved the bowl away from me quickly.

“In case you hadn’t noticed, I can heal myself. I feel good as new. Just a little rough round the edges is all.” I joked light-heartedly.

The Sokovian looked doubtful as she passed it over to me, setting it gently on my side table and produced a spoon. By now, Bruce had managed to calm the others down, reminding them they were in a medical facility.

Clint awkwardly cleared his throat and captured the attention of everyone.

“I uh…just wanted to thank you for healing me. I thought that mission might of been my last so just..yeah..thanks.”

I smiled at him.

“Hey, it’s part of the job right? Protecting people. Nobody said it had to be just civilians.”

Steve lightly nudged Tony.

“My turn already?”

The others looked at him with annoyed glances.

“Ugh fine. Listen Nightingale, we just wanted to…apologise for how we treated you. You clearly have the teams best…interests at heart.”

Groans encompassed the space.

“Really Tony?” “You could of been slightly heartfelt!”

“What Tony is trying to say Y/N, is that we were unfair. Especially considering the fact that three of us were the same as you…technically four but Tony made weapons of destruction so I’d argue that’s worse.” Natasha cut in, looking towards me hopefully.

“Forgive us? Start afresh?”

I looked down in my lap. It felt weird hearing them say sorry. Or even having their attention full stop.

“I’m not going to lie and say I can just move on from this…it kinda hurt the way I was treated. It felt like when I was trying to finally put stuff right, I was just being shunned even more…”

“That was our fault. Completely.”

“But, I am willing to try. You guys seem cool when you’re nice.” I laughed quietly.

“Seem? Seem? I AM cool.”

“Tony, for fucks sake.”

757 notes · View notes