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so what youre gonna wanna do is crush the garlic and ginger instead of just slicing it ok, it releases more of those good flavors. yoshi is going to eat me and turn me into an egg now, i love you. remember everything i taught you

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holy shit

i knew teslas were bad but "literally twice as deadly as the average vehicle" is something else

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Saw this on one of my rare visits to Facebook hell. Thought y'all would want to know

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i'm the guy who writes the books that the protagonist in supernatural horror movies frantically reads somewhere in act ii. job's pretty easy. lot of "legends of vampires have recurred all throughout human history" and "demonologists agree that the quickest way to un-summon a demon is to trap it in a cursed object". no citations of course; they don't pay me citation money. i had to learn html back in the early aughts when everyone started seeking their supernatural info on websites they found via top search engines like FINDLER and WEBSIGHT but that's died down now which is great because i didn't have it in me to pick up css. currently working on a new book about horses that are evil. it's called HORSES THAT ARE EVIL in all caps so the protagonist can find it quickly to yank off the library shelf. it will be published 35 years ago.

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ARMAND NOOOOOO THE CYCLE. ARMAND!!! YOU CAN’T REPEAT THE CYCLE YOU HAVE TO BREAK IT!!! oh my god he can’t hear us ….. he has his gaming headset on …….

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one time i went through the taco bell drive thru and when i tried to order a baja blast i said “mountain boo bah” and then i just left. couldn’t recover

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coworker: hey you should come look at the results of a ph test for a customer’s water

me: I’m king of busy rn

coworker: no really just come here

the ph test:

my honest reaction:

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Forgotten silhouettes - Familiar places

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My manager was in the break room with me and she said 'I don't ever remember oranges being THIS hard to peel' and I just responded 'they're making them harder to peel' without thinking and she looked and me and said. Why?

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ben affleck casually bringing up an affair between succession's kendall and stewy who have known each other since childhood and were bonded like brothers from the beginning even though they rose into their industry as individuals and always have each others' backs as adults because they understand each other better than anyone. i said oh i'm sure