bobbycrabman - Tumblr blog

[bobbycrabman]

Did you know a wild hog can be so hearty that it can take multiple high-powered rifle shots to bring it down? Did you know hogs can breed at such a rate to be so pervasive and omnipresent in an environment that they can threaten entire ecosystems? Did you know that bad code can act in a similar way— Causing problems down the line that are hard to identify the root cause of, and once you do, debugging that bad code can take hours, if not days of work? Did you know that, when asked by my boss what I was doing that had been taking up so much of my time these past few days, ‘wrangling my hog’ was a really bad answer?

[bobbycrabman]

No nuance. If you’ve never eaten it just don’t vote.

[bobbycrabman]

Why canttt some guy just throw some herbs and chemicals together and brew me a damn instant gender change potion man I just want to wear the cute clothes and go outside in makeup and br lovedd

[bobbycrabman]

i could be the most incompetent attack dog youve ever seen

[bobbycrabman]

need a number off my highschool transcript, go to counseling to ask, get directed to records and admissions, they tell me they can't give me that information because it's third party information while I'm sitting there student ID in hand, I literally said but you're giving MY information to ME, get told to call the highschool, takes 30 seconds and I get it, I wish divine obliteration on the higher education system

[bobbycrabman]

god I gotta get freaky enough that I feel that I've earned the ability to buy a knight helmet. I need to join the club of flexing with a knight helmet, it's so cool. like I'll feel a little freaky and I'm definitely seeing progress, but I gotta get bigger, I need more gains

[bobbycrabman]

the demons in my head (one of my gym buddies) out here being like bro you should bulk for like a year, go on a cycle of steroids (I think he said SARS?), then do a cycle of peptides (I forgot the specific one) and you'll get totally freak nasty

[bobbycrabman]

okay I finally went and caught up to protocol, do we think it's bad that we're a full season in and it can still take me a second to differentiate between alice and alexander j newall

[bobbycrabman]

blunt force feminization

[bobbycrabman]

an angel would fuck a streetlamp and it would be nothing. it would be like a dog thoughtlessly rutting against a couch: pure instinctual pleasure chasing with something that may elicit but not share in your libido. but if an angel fucked a cell tower then viable offspring could very well result

[bobbycrabman]

what doyou mean bowling balls aren't symmetrically weighted??

[bobbycrabman]

I need more James joins Regulus as a death eater okay

[bobbycrabman]

c'mon do something, I say to myself as I disassociate and watch myself go about my day on autopilot

[bobbycrabman]

we're sorry. our staff is answering other calls. pleasse hold on and we'll kick you in the nuts shortly

[bobbycrabman]

bro straight up i might be a lesnian

whats gljng on i thought i settled.on i am.msotly a dude. agh

help