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mxonkxss:
hands are now placed behind her back and she hums in thought. “well…..Yeah.” She can’t argue with that, so instead, she nods with a shrug. It’s a bad habit of her’s, really. She always did stick her nose in places they didn’t belong, but that’s just what she does. Red eyes looks down at the toy once it’s placed in his pocket. “Does that thing have a name?” And that’s when the male starts walking away. Ah. Sorry, kid. There’s no deity—well, there is, and technically she is one. Moon of the child and all. She follows him, “You’re new here right?” She can tell just by how he’s acting. That and he looks so out of place, really.
“If you’re not careful you’ll get lost. Especially in Sector 001.” Though, she supposes getting lost in Hive City or anywhere actually is a good idea. People find out new things that way, after all. “There’s a loooooot of things you gotta watch out for. There’s Monster wolves….There’s gangsters and sometimes there’s even deadly arrows that comes shooting out of nowhere.” Kachina, don’t scare him.
Asking for her to leave him alone seemed too much. He speeds up his pace, nearly jogging from her as she continues to follow behind, speaking to him casually. He wasn’t interested in what she had to say, even if her words were wise. Shinji had hopes if he ignored her she would disappear, unfortunately it doesn’t seem as if that will work.
Suddenly, Shinji comes to a stop and turns to face her, “W-would you quit following me!?”
Did her words scare him? He isn’t sure. Wolves and gangsters were so foreign to him, but monsters on the other hand, he knew well. Angels, EVAs, they were some kind of monsters. Shinji didn’t understand their existence, but their motives were enough to make him terrified.
“Y-you act like I care about what happens to me! W-well I don’t! I-I don’t care at all! You don’t know what I’ve been through, s-so shut up!”
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shiisha:
How vulnerable humans left themselves. How obvious. Kaworu wondered if Shinji even knew. Part of him must have, he must have been consciously begging for somebody to take responsibility away. These were all observations on Kaworu’s part, and now that he had noticed these things, he could have manipulated those factors to his advantage quite easily.
For example, he could say ‘If you want to make up for what you’ve done then you can just stay in this city with me forever’. That was not an entirely bad premise, it meant the two of them might be happy together here living in some kind of idyllic dream. It would certainly make Kaworu happy.
His own personal happiness though, was never a factor he took into consideration when calculating the ideal end result. The same is true now, as Kaworu realizes he had been passively thinking for too long, and Shinji had moved to slump against him. Kaworu raised his arms and without hesitation wrapped them, as thin as they were, around Shinji’s shoulders.
“Shinji-kun, you’re so kind as to cry over the death of a person like me. I thought I told you once, there’s no sin that cannot be redeemed. As long as we’re together…”
Kaworu looked at Shinji then, his smile soft but easy to see on his lips.
“What I want is… for you to be happy. That’s what you should do, whether you’re looking in this city, or looking outside of it. If it’s towards the place of your happiness, then I’ll guide you there. So, when you calm down, please tell me the last things you remember. I bowed out a little early, as you already know, so I don’t know what happened next. Let’s take our time, and understand these things together.”
That’s right, all that he’s done cannot be brushed away like dust. What he has done to Kaworu, to Misato, Asuka, everyone is stained on his soul and follows him wherever he goes. So far from his home, so far from the EVAs and the Angels and the Third Impact, so far from everything he knows and yet the guilt weighs on him. He feels his shoulders slump with every reminder of the end of the world. All of them are dead now, but for what?
Happiness, does that actually exist?
Shinji questions Kaworu’s words. Never in his life has he had a taste for true happiness. What does it feel like, he wonders. He closes his eyes, unsure of how to respond to Kaworu’s wishes. Fourteen years, almost fifteen and Shinji cannot even fathom was it joy must be like. He has learned to fake happiness, smile when others smile back at him, laugh when a joke is funny, enjoy the company of others. At the end of the day, he crawls back into bed, turns on his Walkman and begins to drown.
Kaworu’s smile is visible to him and the corner of his lips twitch slightly in the attempt to copy his motions. It doesn’t work, not this time, he can’t fake it now. He looks away, slightly disgusted with how Kaworu can smile. He is different, he isn’t human, but does that mean beings over than humans can achieve happiness? If that’s true, what’s wrong with me, Shinji asks himself, why can’t I be like that?
His thoughts trial off, a defensive mechanism he’s practiced to avoid breaking down in public. He muffles the intruding thoughts and puts himself in a trance like state. It’s one of the few ways he can find his composure in difficult times. He wishes he had his music.
Five minutes pass by before Shinji pulls himself off Kaworu. It is obvious improvement has not been made, but he is indeed calm. Kaworu asked him a difficult question, one he isn’t sure he could answer properly. He stares at the white and black keys of the piano, letting the recent memories flood his mind and allows his mouth to move on its own.
“They stormed in,” he starts, refusing to go in as who they are, “they came in with guns and they started to kill everyone--” violent images of blood and corpses flash in his mind. He squeezes his eyes tightly and grips at the side of his head. “Everything went to hell, Kaworu, everyone died. No one is left but Asuka and I-- and I tried to kill her. T-that’s the last thing I remember. There with Asuka. Alone.”
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overheatedcrow:
He was used to people staring at his hair. Even back in Elrios, it was the focus of a lot of attention. He couldn’t deny how eye-catching it was, even if he wanted to. That didn’t mean he was used to the reactions, however.
He blinked in surprise at the teen’s reaction, just as confused as he was. He never did get the same reaction twice, now that he thought about it. Brushing his hair out of his eyes, Raven made an attempt at a reassuring smile.
“Sorry, did I scare you…?”
“Scare me? No, it’s your--”
Shinji closes his lips to avoid spilling out the following words. He didn’t want to be rude but someone had to tell him long hair isn’t exactly cool on men. He fidgets a bit, lifting a hand to cup the side of his head as he contemplates what he should say in turn. Shinji takes a few seconds mulling on his next sentence before his lips part once more.
“Never mind,” he opts to say first to avoid the male following up, now he’s wondering what he should say next. Again he’s fidgeting, fingers twiddling with his hair strands in contemplation. “There aren’t many others my age,” his words slip out without much thought.
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⛨:WHAT WOULD THEY SACRIFICE THEIR LIFE FOR?
UUUHHHHHH
This is a hard question to answer cause there’s two ways he would sacrifice his life for: the first is being told to by higher authority and the second would be the rare but immense, raw emotion that explodes out of him. Throughout the anime and manga, Shinji has shown moments of rebellion against those who control him and acts completely on his own emotion. He does this to save his classmates and also tries to attack Gendo after his friend’s death. Shinji isn’t always under someone’s thumb, but most of the time he is. So if someone told him to sacrifice his life for whatever cause, he would of course question it, but somehow slip into an autopilot mode and obey. On the other hand, if someone he deeply cared about was in danger, he would try to help them, even if it meant taking his own life. We’ve seen that Shinji has had many opportunities to do this towards the end of the series, but refuses to act, so it is fair to state that him sacrificing his life for someone he cares about is rare.
#answered#shinji is very complicated#this poor boy#i hope i answered this properly#this is how i see it#shiisha
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I formally invite you to the "I hate my dad" club. We meet every Tuesday.
“What kind of dumb club is that?”
Shinji didn’t want to admit it aloud that he is actually interested in this so-called club. Going around boasting about his troubles with his dad wasn’t exactly fun for him, it made him feel worse. But to know that he isn’t the only one with a terrible father does bring him some ease.
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got punched by eva feels again
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Morality Meme
⚖: Has your muse broken the law before? Broken a vow or promise?
⚔: Would your muse kill if they had to in order to protect a loved one?
🌟: Do they consider themselves a good person?
👑: Is your muse honorable?
☯: What do they think of 'good' and 'evil'?
🌹: When would they tell a lie?
🍷: Would they manipulate someone to get what they want?
⛨: What would they sacrifice their life for?
💋: How easily are they tempted?
☽: What is their alignment?
⚠: Would they seek revenge against someone who's harmed them or the people they care about?
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scandal sentence starters aka lots of angst, sex, and murder.
send one for my muses reaction! Feel free to change any gender or anything that needs changing in order for it to make sense to have come from your muse.
❝ It’s only day 2 for this shirt, and these panties are fresh from the dryer. ❞ ❝ I don’t need you to forgive me. I haven’t done anything wrong. ❞ ❝ I’ve always forgiven you until now. ❞ ❝ I can never tell if you’re lying. I can never trust my gut when it comes to you. ❞ ❝ Are you spying on me? You don’t trust me? ❞ ❝ How do I choose the box to bury my friend in? ❞ ❝ If he dies, he can’t talk. Dead men tell no tales. ❞ ❝ When you walk in here, you make me hope. Hoping is bad for me, so do not come back here unless you are back for good. ❞ ❝ When it’s your turn, you can talk, but right now, be quiet. Let yourself be kissed. ❞ ❝ It’s always his turn, despite the fact that I’m the one you like to ride, that I’m the one that makes you moan, that I’m the one who reaches you in places that he can’t begin to touch. ❞ ❝ We can hide in the shadows or we can stand in the light. ❞ ❝ I’m not gonna live in your apartment, waiting to service you. I have things to do. I’m busy. But, I did book a nice hotel suite for booty calls. ❞ ❝ Do you actually think I give a damn what anyone thinks of me anymore? ❞ ❝ A broken heart is a broken heart; to take a measure is cruelty. ❞ ❝ You can’t summon me. You are not in charge of me. ❞ ❝ Did you think I’d want you back? ❞ ❝ I am less than interested in whatever it is you have to offer. ❞ ❝ You thought I would be dragged in here and I’d lay eyes on you and I’d gasp, and I’d rip off all my clothes and crawl on my knees over to you and beg you to take me, that I’d be some kind of sad porn fantasy. ❞ ❝ I could have anything I wanted, and I wanted you. You can laugh at it and make fun of me, but the truth is, nobody else wants you. ❞ ❝ I’ve lost too much. I’ve given up too much. I’m not even a person anymore. ❞ ❝ I’m not like you. I’m sorry you miss me, but I’m not like you. ❞ ❝ Why are you picking a fight with me today? ❞ ❝ You’re thirsty, but you’re not here for a drink.❞ ❝ You’re here because you want what you’ve been fantasizing about ever since you left the other night. ❞ ❝ I can give you what you want just the way you want it. ❞ ❝ You either go home alone and try your own hand at quenching that thirst or go upstairs with me and replace that dry lump in your throat with something much more satisfying. ❞ ❝ Trust me; I will be the one standing over you when you die. ❞ ❝ You keep secrets from me. You make me feel small. ❞ ❝ Burying yourself in work isn’t always the best thing when you lose someone. ❞ ❝ I’ve got enough blood on my hands already. ❞ ❝ Don’t ever leave me like that again. I almost didn’t survive. I almost died without you. ❞ ❝ You have been waiting for this moment from the second I got in bed with her. ❞ ❝ It doesn’t matter what the truth is, does it? The only thing that matters is that I put my hands where you think they don’t belong, and now I’m in chains. ❞ ❝ I am going to have you destroyed. ❞ ❝ He’s a predator, an animal, a killing machine, and just because you’ve decided to turn a blind eye to that doesn’t make it any less true. ❞ ❝ I think you want me to be guilty. Guilty lets you hate me for things you’re not allowed to hate me for. ❞ ❝ If there’s any part of you, any part of you at all, that believes that I’m telling you the truth, you’ll help me. ❞ ❝ You may have never heard what it sounds like when she wakes up screaming from a nightmare, but I have, and it’s awful. ❞ ❝ The truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a while, but it’s not gonna go away. ❞ ❝ Since us bitches have got to get through this dog and pony show, I’m gonna need you to sit down, shut up, and follow my lead. ❞ ❝ Is she right about you having nightmares? ❞ ❝ Don’t let love cloud your judgment. ❞ ❝ We both know in the end you’re not going to choose me. And that’s okay. I want you to know, I need you to know, not choosing me is okay. ❞ ❝ I keep my promises. I will watch the life fade from your eyes. ❞ ❝ I love her. Does that matter to you at all? ❞ ❝ It stops you every time, the arrogance, the need to swagger, to show everyone who you are. ❞ ❝ True power hides in plain sight. ❞ ❝ You and I are ruined. We don’t have a chance now. Too much has happened. ❞ ❝ I know you’re trying to be rational, and I understand why, but you can’t pretend this is okay. ❞ ❝ I mean, I figure we have two choices here - we can either pretend this unbearable sexual tension doesn’t exist, or we can address it head-on. ❞ ❝ You are beautiful. The face that launched a thousand ships. ❞ ❝ What is it that is so special about you? You have so much power over him. He revolves around you. ❞ ❝ He needed you. He was in pain. He wanted to die. ❞ ❝ I could protect him from everyone. Except you. ❞ ❝ I wanted to shoot him. I didn’t, but I wanted to. I wanted to kill him. I wanted him dead. ❞ ❝ I’m very powerful, you know. Some women would find that a turn-on. ❞ ❝ Let’s just say I’m in a giving mood tonight. ❞
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Send me📝 and my muse will reveal their thoughts about your muse.
Their first impression:
Their current impression:
What they like the most about your muse:
What they dislike the most about your muse:
What your muse is for them ( Friend, lover, rival ecc.):
A general opinion of their relationship:
If applicable, something they wish to reveal:
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