blvckbirds

[blvckbirds]

robbie wasn’t in the habit of drinking—some might think it was because of his profession: knowing the ins and outs of the human body, understanding how toxic beverages could wreak havoc on one’s metabolism. though he never thought of himself as patronizing, he had a reputation for being a man of reason, always encouraging those around him to make the best decisions. a ridiculous notion, robbie thought. he had never been able to change anyone’s mind about anything, ever. it wasn’t like people listened to him much anyway—not his ex-wife, not his brother, and certainly not the rest of the townspeople.

long story short, robbie didn’t drink much. the occasional beer here and there after a long shift, maybe. his moderation, though, was more of a preventive measure; alcohol, more often than not, had been a crutch—a balm for the aftermath of bad decisions. but here… here in red creek, he couldn’t be that man anymore. he wasn’t that man. robbie was a doctor, an upstanding citizen of red creek.

and yet, he was still at the bar, nursing a beer, mulling over nonsensical things. nicolas’ voice cut through his thoughts, and robbie shot the man a look. “don’t think there’s any winnings to be had here,” he said with a shrug before letting out a sigh. “do you know if abel’s gonna show up tonight?” robbie rested his chin in his hand, tilting his head slightly to the side, one of his grey locks falling across his forehead.

for  those  who  found  religion  at  the  bottom  of  their  glass,  nicolas  could  easily  be  conflated  into  something  akin  to  a  pastor  —  a  priest,  even,  offering  someone  just  a  hint  of  salvation  …  two  ounces  of  it,  at  least.  isn't  that  why  it's  called  a  spirit  ?  semantics  aside,  this  bar  top,  stained  oak  whose  probably  seen  just  as  much  blood  as  any  living  member  of  red  creek  provided  ample  surface  for  every  admission  that  slipped  past  vodka-glistened  lips.  every  fight,  skirmish,  and  accidental  knick  was  immortalized  in  its  unyielding  frame,  touched  by  patrons  both  of  this  realm  and  those  now  of  another.  the  white  towel  in  hand,  buffing  off  the  stickiness  of  your  typical  nighttime  rush,  sanctifying  it  for  yet  another  confessional.  “  can  i  get  you  anything  else,  or  are  you  just  gonna  keep  lookin'  for  the  meaning  of  life  in  the  bottom  of  your  glass  ?  ”  he  doesn't  blame  them,  not  for  the  vacancy  or  whatever  it  was  that  muddled  a  once-lively  visage.  nico  saw  it  in  everyone,  more  and  more  with  each  passing  day,  that  specific  draining  of  life  he  had  only  witnessed  once,  a  while  ago,  and  under  a  lesser,  more  blameless  state  of  mind  —  childlike  naïveté,  the  best  chaser  to  all  things  real.  “  i  don't  think  you're  gonna  find  it  there  -  i've  stared  at  enough  of  ‘em  to  know  that,  i  guess.  ————  or  maybe  you’ll  just  be  the  lucky  winner. ”

CAPPING AT FIVE REPLIES or maybe more idk ... — 0 / 5 .

[blvckbirds]

//   (  oscar isaac  .  cismale  .  he/him  )  .    ⸻  roberto "robbie" emmanuel d'angelo (previously rivera)  ,  a    forty-three years  old  ,  has  survived  another  day  in  red  creek  where  they  have  lived  for  (on and off) thirty-four years  .  the  caretaker is  known  for  being  nurturing   and  stubborn  and  is  often  associated  with  a pristine white coat, perfectly pressed, perfectly clean; the smell of antiseptic and an unwavering calm, a mountain against the storm, hands that do not shake, unless they're in the dark  .  in  a  small  town  where  they  work  as  an emergency doctor  word  travels  fast  .  it’s  hard  to  keep  a  secret  ,  and  it  looks  like  the  boogeyman  knows  that [ CONFIDENTIAL ]

BIO | HEADCANONS | PINTEREST | PLAYLIST

name: roberto luis d'angelo (né rivera) nickame : robbie age & date of birth: 43 yo, born on December 26th, 1977 zodiac: capricorn gender: cis male, he/him orientation: bisexual occupation: emergency doctor at redcreek hospital, previously army doctor neighborhood: norwood street

tw; death, car accident, military

family.

the only son of angela and luis rivera, robbie was born in detroit, michigan where he lived for the first 7 years of his life. his childhood until that age was good, excellent even. his father, a mexican immigrant, was well-known in their little tight-knit community. they weren’t the richest, but they were happy. angela was working as a server in the little diner near home and luis had been lucky enough to find a job at the steel factory. things were good, things were stable. they had many friends, their home was always full. his grandmother, francesca, was also living with them, and mostly taking care of young robbie when his parents were working hard.  robbie was a smiling child, back then. always teasing, joking; a real prankster.  this all changed when his parents died in a car accident, one fateful night. nothing could have predicted this would happen to them. his abuela had left robbie to their neighbours, the d’angelos, so they could care for him until she came back. robbie liked the d’angelos, his parents’ best friends, well enough. he’d always been a bit intimidated by abel, but there was more admiration than anything. and at that moment, robbie didn’t know what happened to his parents yet.  when abuela came back, a few days later, it was with an air of quiet devastation that hung heavily between them. she sat him down in the living room where sunlight filtered through the blinds, casting long shadows on the floor. robbie could feel something was wrong, but the words didn’t come until later—until after she wrapped her arms around him, holding him so tightly that it felt like she was trying to keep the world from collapsing on both of them. he would always remember what she told him then:  “they’re gone, mijo. your mamá y papá... they’re never coming back.” robbie had stared at her then, face blank, unsure how to process it. he didn’t understand death, not really. not yet. not like this, a sudden emptiness that ripped the foundation from under him. and it seemed that the world was not done with him; a few months later, a few weeks shy of his parents’ funeral, abuela got sick.  in a twisted display of fate, robbie found himself alone. utterly, and completely alone. emptiness filled him, and gone was the young boy who used to play pranks on mrs. d’angelo. replacing him was a boy with a severe expression on his face. 

school.

being in the same vicinity to death so early in life made him more curious than anything. robbie had refused to let himself be submerged by fear; he would conquer it, in any way he could. from a young age, his dream was to become a doctor.  although his adoptive parents always tried to help with school, he knew they weren’t the richest. And the last thing Robbie ever wanted was to become a weight to them. he’d always been an a-grade student, very serious and studious, and had always taken his future into his own hands. with his sights set on something bigger, something more than the small town life they all seemed stuck in, he decided to enroll in the army. the military offered him an opportunity to not only pay for his education but also to serve something greater than himself. for sure, he faced some resistance, but robbie had made up his mind and his decision to pursue medicine in the army had been taken carefully. not only could he satisfy his immense interest in science, he knew that he could make a real difference. the army would offer him that: a chance to help those in need. sure, joining the military wasn’t without sacrifice, but he knew the costs. he accepted them. the promise of a scholarship was too good to pass, and he knew that it would only help him secure a stable future. and anyway, it was just a few years after medical school, what could happen? little did he know, the army shaped him in ways he couldn’t anticipate. the training was intense, the discipline grueling. but the hardest part—far beyond the physical—was the toll it would take on him, on his heart, and on his mind. however, for now, robbie focused on his dream: to become a doctor, no matter the cost. his soft heart would need to harden itself if he wanted to honor his parents’ sacrifices.

lovelife.

robbie had met selina, a young, sparkly young woman who worked as an administrative assistant in medical school. they were of similar backgrounds; small-town kids coming to the big city to learn and make something out of themselves. they hit it off right away and what followed was years of deep passion. while robbie worked hard to make himself as impenetrable as possible, selina softened him up. made himself believe he could be loved, like that. a wedding ensued, where only the guy at the townhall helping them with the papers had been privy to. they didn’t have much time. because then robbie got deployed.  and while he came back a few times in-between tours, selina had been left alone. alone with their daughter, marina.  after his second tour, selina gave birth to miguel. the dates didn’t fit, but robbie didn’t want to see the truth. as much as his family tried to warn him about selina, he couldn’t listen to them. because he had a family of his own now, and honestly, they were the only thing keeping his sanity in check at that moment.

career.

after ten years of military service where he did three tours, robbie retired from the army. not in one piece, though. far from it. he always found the house quiet, too quiet. the sound of fireworks on the fourth of july sent him diving under the dining table. crowds made him sweat. the guilt gnawed at him—why had he survived when so many others hadn’t? sure, therapy helped. but anger filled him way too often, and his marriage was failing, and he was failing, and robbie had never been good at being bad.  after his divorce, he moved back to red creek, took a job as an emergency doctor at the hospital, because it was the only thing he was good at. though every child either reminded him of his own daughter or the kids he’d never been able to save back in afghanistan, robbie pushed through.

[blvckbirds]

Oscar Isaac

[blvckbirds]

#important neck appreciation 

[blvckbirds]