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sorry kids daddy lost all his money betting on rhinoceros beetle fights again there won't be a christmas this year

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*drops food on floor*

germs: go get it! quick!

king germ: no.. we must wait 5 seconds.. it is the rule

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I am whatever gender has the shortest line at the bathroom

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I got this while scrolling on instagram to try to convince me to join threads and I—

We did it. We finally saved her.

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Damn

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Derry Girls S03E06 "Halloween"

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Bro I fucking love the DB Cooper case nothing about this whole situation sounds real. None of the passengers on the plane realized they were being hijacked until the plane landed two hours after it was supposed to and the fbi showed up with suitcases full of money. The note about the bomb almost went unnoticed because the flight attendant thought she was being sexually harassed so she didn't read it. One of the main suspects was the first trans woman in Washington to have a sex change operation. A reporter who was so dead set on his suspect that he brought him to court was so upset about being wrong that he went catatonic and was treated with electroshock therapy and it WORKED. There's been multiple "I'm DB Cooper" death confessions. He never even SAID his name was DB Cooper. Either he got away with a million bucks in today's money and the most iconic and harmless crime American history or he impaled himself on a pine tree while falling a zillion miles an hour in the dark while clutching duffel bags full of cash and either option is equally hilarious. He wore a clip on tie. He committed an act of sky piracy. What in the fucking looney toons

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Logis du Feés, France by Sies Kranen

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Being the office transgender is fun sometimes bc the cool coworkers will seek you out to complain about gender norms to you. Apparently my coworker buys clothes for her son from both the girls & boys department bc she wants him to have cute colorful clothes that don't just have dinos on them and she noticed that onesies meant for girls are typically smaller even tho the sizes are supposed to be by height. This is the real gender madness plaguing our societies.

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love the way we finish each others' sentences. it's like we're soulmates or the beastie boys

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I could write a hundred page book on how being brought up in church purity culture, with parents who took that culture extremely seriously, has massively affected me and my relationships in ways that I am still unlearning in my 30s - in terms of being trans, being a lesbian, things I like to do, and even how I dress and feel comfortable expressing myself.

It's like that one twitter post says.

I cannot express how jarring it was after being raised by a "Porn Addiction Coach" to get into a relationship with a woman and come face to face with the fact that she did actually want me to sexually desire her.

Like, in Evangelical Purity Culture, male desire was basically poison. It was a threat. It was this constant temptation that would destroy everything. And even after leaving, in the sort of queer, feminist spaces i spend most of my time in that wasn't something that pretty much anyone was spending time actively dissuading me from feeling.

But my desire is good. It's not something that I'm being accepted in spite of. It's a positive thing. It's a bonus. Not even just vanilla stuff, all the stuff I'd convinced myself were these weird terrible desires that were shameful to have.

It honestly took me over a decade to fully accept that. To stop dissociating during sex and confront that I was, in fact, being a massive perv and that was fantastic and preferable and that I could accept that into my self-image without shame or self hatred.

But it's important to do. It's important to leave relationships that don't welcome that part of you. To know that your sexuality is valuable and valid and worth owning and celebrating. Because the alternative is just...not being. Either existing as yourself and repressing the part of your identity that is sexual or allowing that sexuality to exist but turning off your self while it does.

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Yeah hey mom I know it's been a while since I called. I have bad news. My cigarette broke in half. Yeah.. yeah Google said no way to fix it either