blueslostboys

[blueslostboys]

"john got rid of the internet so house citizens couldn't write nasty rpf about his friends" he would literally be leaving kudos. be serious

[blueslostboys]

POV you're Pyrrha and it's v easy to tell who's driving Cam's body

gee i wonder

brought to you by @anaeolist's legendary art post -

i just know pyrrha was working her butt off to woo camilla, meanwhile palamedes was throwing himself at her

(& its many excellent sequels)

Camilla Hect (New Rho/Nona the Ninth): @featherbreak Photos: @stingray_photos (IG)

[blueslostboys]

at first i thought the recurring point about nona walking on the balls of her feet was just a coordination/sensory thing on account of, you know, being an amnesiac soul learning how to be a person from scratch in an unfamiliar body. then of course the idea that she wasn't human at all to begin with, that she was something with different anatomy or even no anatomy at all. but then i was like. huh. do you think...? no. but maybe?

[blueslostboys]

Dying as a Skill Issue

I just made a post about Ianthe's "Dying is for suckers." quote and now I realized that "Dying as a skill issue/dying as failure" is actually an essential part of her character.

In the psychogram story The Unwanted Guest she talks about it even more. She presents several deaths of known characters to Palamedes and tells him why they have died in her opinion:

Ortus did not die because Crux was an asshole and killed him, but because he was too sad.

Abigail did not die because Cytherea murdered them, but because she brought her husband to Canaan House as her cav. (This point is especially random. As if Cytherea wouldn't have slaughtered Babs as well...)

(It's by the way interesting that she doesn't mention Jeannemary and Isaac here. Maybe even she knows that that would be hella tasteless. Ooorrrr she has a different reason.)

Dying is for suckers in her opinion and dead people died because of a lack of skill.

That even partly explains why she wants to become a Lyctor (and likely a God or even more than a God) so much: Dying would be a personal failure to her.

[blueslostboys]

You can't take loved away

[blueslostboys]

“what? no he didn’t” took me out completely

[blueslostboys]

honestly its gay as fuck to even be a man

[blueslostboys]

sad reality of the fanfic-to-published work economy is that the weirdest people are willing to do it. that's why there's now hundreds of shitty no plot cishet hate-to-love enemies-to-lovers books that are ex reylo fanfic. and it's not even good. that's because the people who wrote book-quality steve/bucky and kirk/spock fic are too normal to think to themselves "i should get this porn published". they're too busy working in local government offices

[blueslostboys]

when i have a crush i dont kick my feet or twirl my hair instead i am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just cant crack

[blueslostboys]

griddleharlectostasia brainrot hours

[blueslostboys]

can't stop thinking about how basically every combination of kevin x neil x andrew x jean x jeremy is so complex and homoerotic. just 5 lil gay boys in a violent fucked up polycule

[blueslostboys]

Kevin Day, the queen of having homoerotic bro relationships with like 10 people and still making PowerPoint presentation of reasons to not be gay.

[blueslostboys]

saw a post about how jean and neil are pretty alike so andrew would probably like jean and just. thinking about how andrew could teach jean everything he's learned about bodily autonomy and consent and trust and self worth. thinking about aaron killing drake and neil putting a hit out on grayson. thinking about them both finding partners they trust to respect their boundaries. thinking about neil saying "andrew's taught me about give and take" and how andrew could teach that same lesson to jean. thinking about andrew teaching jean to trust bee and telling him about what he talks to bee about. thinking about jean getting bee a glass figurine for her collection because andrew told him she likes them. thinking about bee getting jean a magnet in return. thinking about how they have like more than a foot of height difference. thinking about them bonding over making fun of kevin. thinking about jean getting to know the person who finally stood up to riko and protected neil from him. thinking about jean learning that neil went to evermore to try to protect andrew from proust. just andrew and jean okay!!!!

[blueslostboys]

Neil "You can never play Exy again" Josten and Jean "Exy is the sole purpose of your existence" Moreau

Neil "I have no choice but to run" Josten and Jean "I have no choice but to stay" Moreau

Neil "I have to be alone" Josten and Jean "Do not leave me alone" Moreau

Neil "~10% of my internal monologue centers around hiding my scars" Josten and Jean "what?" Moreau

Neil "I don't swing" Josten and Jean "the cruelty behind these nonstop temptations" Moreau

Neil "no one can know how fucked up I am" Josten and Jean "everyone keeps saying I'm fucked up?" Moreau

Neil was being chased all his life but Jean had already been caught :/ :/

Foils of all time

[blueslostboys]

Every day. Every damn day I wake up and wonder how Wymack must have felt hearing Jean say, “Kevin never once doubted you’d take him in … I laughed at him. I’d never taken him for a dreamer.”

I wonder how he let that sink in, thought over and over again of his first interactions with the kid and rewriting his perceptions with the context that not only did Kevin know that was his dad, but that Kevin trusted him. Unquestionably, before Wymack even did anything, Kevin ran to him because he believed that Wymack was someone safe he could run to. I wonder if Wymack thought about “my father comes to all my games, that is enough” knowing that Kevin truly meant it, maybe always has.

I wonder how Wymack felt then, when later, much much later, that broken boy who laughed at his son for believing in a father he never met calls him out of the blue. When, before Wymack could even get a single word in, begs him, voice wet and desperate why did you take him in?

I wonder how Wymack felt after the phone call ends. Hearing Josten, arguably his most distrustful kid, telling him “I’ve got him coach” and then hanging up the phone, and wondering if Rhemmen has enough strength to watch Jean eventually get to a place similar to where Neil’s at now. To finally learn, slowly but surely, how to trust. I wonder if that made him appreciate Kevin’s trust all the more.

just… I wonder

[blueslostboys]

when kevin hears about jerejean he will take a 45 minute shower listening to the one that got away on repeat as he has a sexuality crisis and then will pretend it never happened - you cannot convince me otherwise