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blueblauu · 2 months ago

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back to the barn

… is a very important episode, especially for pearl’s character. i’ve also noticed that, surprisingly, it says a lot about pearlrose.

pearl is a complex character & so is her relationship with the love of her life. as expected, her growth is nonlinear & complicated as well, and it’s not merely about “getting over" rose. heck, there are times when pearl’s love for her grows at the same time as significant moments in her personal development.

pearl + rose were rebels who rejected homeworld's society. pearl’s trauma from being seen as inferior & replaceable (i.e., ongoing self worth issues) complicated her relationship with rose (i.e, ongoing issue of pearl struggling to understand & truly believe she could be loved for who she was, not just what she could do).

nevertheless, back to the barn shows that pearl has trauma & struggles in general that are not directly caused by her relationship with rose.

after all, pearl is her own gem. a lot of her pain is her own too… it’s not about a relationship.

now, i love peridot, and when i quote some of the things she says, don’t see this as me saying, “this is what her character thinks of pearl.” this is no hate towards peridot, that’s not what this analysis is about. i adore everything about her.

the point is, peridot is still new to earth! she’s not quite a crystal gem yet (and, by the way, i love her character development too) and she’s still learning. she’s used to homeworld’s ideas about gems.

so, this reflects what homeworld thinks of pearls.

"pearls aren't for this. they're for standing around, looking nice, & holding your stuff... right?"

"you're an accessory, somebody’s shiny toy!"

when peridot asks pearl who she belongs to, pearl snaps, "nobody!" which reminds the audience of a playful exchange between her & bismuth—something that bismuth prompted the moment she left lion. this detail is important, because bismuth had been bubbled since the war.

it comes so naturally between them & implies that this exchange is something the crystal gems always did with pearl during the rebellion. someone says, “who do you belong to,” and she proudly, immediately responds with, “nobody!”

this ties into the times when garnet talked about meeting pearl during the war, describing her as the terrifying renegade & a pearl who belonged to no one. as the leader of the crystal gems who said, “we’ll both finally be free,” & “isn’t this exciting?” in a single pale rose, to which pearl’s cheeks turn blue & she says, “it is,” it’s likely that rose started this “who do you belong to” exchange with pearl and the other rebels caught on. but at the very least, we know that rose loved it… & so did pearl.

it’s ironic, as the leader of the rebellion was once a diamond who was expected to give orders to her sole confidant, who was once a pearl serving the great diamond authority. but there’s so much evidence that the “terrifying renegade” & “just rose” are their true selves. during the war, pearl was already becoming her own gem. she was arguing with rose & fighting & everyone around her saw her as a true rebel, belonging to no one.

i also think rose’s secret would have been much harder to hide if pearl had acted the way she did in their old, forced homeworld dynamic & they hadn’t made progress in redefining their relationship, making it their own relationship that very much goes against homeworld. and this was still very early in their time on earth, too!

and when she’s reminded of all the ideas homeworld gems have about pearls, here’s the thing:

pearl doesn’t shrink in response.

instead, she’s determined to prove peridot wrong. she is confident in her abilities, assertive, stands up for herself, & knows she's capable of more than homeworld allowed. this can be true even if she has moments where the trauma from homeworld gets to her & she feels insecure or struggles to know her true strength. those setbacks are expected after living in a society in which she’s seen as replaceable, a thing, made to serve. however, at the end of the day, it’s obvious that pearl has been fighting her own mind & the mindsets of homeworld gems, making progress for centuries… and she wants to make progress.

also, when pearl is first ordered around (i.e., “you can go now… how do you get her to leave?”), she’s confused. this is a sign of how far she's come since her days on homeworld when she would say, “i could imagine it, if you would like me to.” she fights back & insists that peridot listens to her and that they work together. just as pearl + rose worked together in their early days on earth, when rose would call pearl’s ideas brilliant, saying that she couldn’t have done certain things without her. “pearl! you’re so smart.”

pearl loves her independence & is still deeply in love with rose. it's only been fourteen years since rose's death, a short time for gems. pearl often talks about rose, especially the traits she cherished, like how rose saw the beauty in everything. they lived together for thousands of years and their major relationship issues that lacked closure were at the beginning & end, not in the middle, suggesting that they had a few thousand years in which they lived together comfortably & their relationship was healthier. since she was close to rose, she likely understood how much rose admired those around her, too.

& while there are many things that shaped peridot’s perception of the world and understanding of the crystal gems, this may have had a tiny influence:

“rose quartz believed all life was precious and worth protecting.” — pearl, it could’ve been great

“i can tell you with certainty that there are things on this planet worth protecting!” — peridot, message received

pearl’s love for rose doesn’t reinforce stereotypes & expectations about pearls on homeworld. their relationship may be difficult to understand at times because they keep a lot of secrets from the other gems, but it’s very clear that their dynamic, as well as their feelings for each other, are a form of rebellion rather than something that mirrors the homeworld dynamic between, for example, blue pearl & blue diamond.

“pearl and rose start fusing. a lot.” — steven universe, end of an era, page 77

imagine what the homeworld gems would think if they knew a pearl + a diamond not only fused, but that pearl initiated it. if they knew rose called her "my pearl,” a term for superiors, and pearl called her “just rose”? even the way pearl shouts “why won’t you just let me do this for you, rose?” is very different from gently saying, “well, i was… sort of thinking you were the priority here.” pearl, who wasn’t "supposed to" be bold or shameless, became exactly that, and rose loved her for it—she went from having a displeased expression when pearl followed the rules on homeworld to falling in love with everything that homeworld claims she isn’t supposed to be, being in awe of her true self.

pearl’s trauma isn’t tied just to one person but to an entire society. her relationship with rose wasn’t merely a continuation of the homeworld power dynamic. it was the opposite. rose said herself, earth is the place in which there are endless possibilities. pearl fell in love with her on earth & not on homeworld for a reason.

would pearl have been so deeply in love with rose, for such a long time, if she felt primarily devotion to a diamond or if rose treated her like homeworld’s idea of a pearl? would either of them live together for as long as they did… heck, would the other crystal gems want to live with them if this was the case?

the answer is really evident in back to the barn.

“now listen here, you tiny twerp! in case you've forgotten, you're on our turf now! and i didn't fight a thousand-year war for this planet's independence to take orders from the likes of you!”

“i’m as good at building things as you. better, even!”

she’s passionate about being a rebel, and this disproves any claim that pearl only became a crystal gem because of “devotion to a diamond” and “not being her own gem.” it’s difficult & there’s setbacks, but she wants to be her own gem, is genuinely in love with rose as an individual, & as i said, the terrifying renegade is very much her true self.

pearl’s character is often oversimplified, reduced to just a follower who needs to "get over" rose. but it’s not that simple & after all, she still loves her in the end. and personally, as a sapphic woman, this complexity resonates deeply. homeworld makes pearls feel incapable of certain things, inferior, and as if they must fit into certain stereotypes. they act like, “she can’t fight, she’s just made to serve someone and stand there and look pretty.” just as some folks may be told that they can’t do certain things, and that they’re supposed to serve the person they’re married to and that’s all (and this person is very often expected to be called a husband so the relationship feels forced in some cases, especially in environments where it feels unsafe to be your true self &/or form relationships based on choices and how you feel). but pearl is her own individual! she should be who she is, and gems are wrong to look at her with disapproval & expect her to fit into such specific boxes just because she has a certain gem. pearl’s character development is more layered and meaningful than just "moving on" from someone who died. there’s so many hidden messages, and this is one that i personally find meaningful as someone who’s feminine & sapphic. & her love for rose is something she only felt when she was on earth. she wanted to make her happy & they fused—a diamond & a pearl—which was all part of an understanding that they could be who they want & form the relationships they want, even if society disapproves.

that being said, i’m not ignoring the power imbalance that pearl + rose had to work through, especially at the start of their time on earth. on homeworld, they were forced into a specific dynamic, & all the other dynamics around them were also forced. yes, pink’s true self was just rose, and the terrifying renegade was pearl’s true self too. still, during their early years, they didn’t know anything other than homeworld’s society. this was further complicated by pink feeling powerless (which made her unaware of and unable to understand the powers she had), their responses to their personal and shared experiences, and the fact that they were each other’s first loves. my point is, there are many signs that pearl and rose made progress��during a war no less—in redefining their relationship, and they clearly both wanted the same thing. they allowed each other to be their true selves, and by the time they were living together, especially after seeing pearl proudly and shamelessly fusing with rose in front of a camera and not thinking twice about her gem and rose’s gem… it seems they had other complications in their relationship, and their original dynamic rarely caused issues for them by that point.

which is not easy to do. at all. the progress that they did make (even if their relationship was never perfect, and given the many difficult situations they were in, there would always be some ongoing work to do) prior to rose’s passing says so much about how strongly they both felt about the rebellion & each other. the dynamic that they both wanted from the start has always been one that homeworld would despise them for.

lastly, at the end of the episode, steven says something important:

"you’re wrong! if pearls are really like you say, then pearl isn’t common at all! she trained herself to fight! she learned how to build things! she works hard every day to be greater than she already is! that’s not common; that’s amazing!"

this is the pearl steven has always known. he knows her well, & although he may not know or understand everything about her past yet, he knows that she works hard to grow, to improve.

all while she’s in the early stages of grieving rose. all while she’s raising a child. this is a strong character, someone who’s strong in a realistic way (or dare i say, real way). she’s flawed & she has setbacks, but she grows & sets her mind to overcoming such complicated trauma from homeworld. falling out of love with rose? based on their relationship, that is not a step in her healing that needs to happen. instead, she needs to overcome many complicated problems, personally & in her relationships, to find closure after the loss and also continue to feel at peace with herself.

her growth didn’t happen overnight & it didn’t start after losing rose. it was ongoing while she was with rose, and that’s one of the reasons they loved each other. heck, rose brought out pearl’s boldness. we've seen this in how they fused in front of a camera, showing off their unique bond that is clearly something deeper than one that could form on homeworld.

then there's the way pearl looks at steven after he says that. it completely contrasts the way she reacts when homeworld gems tell her how pearls should act. she’s clearly touched, & it’s more than likely that this is the way rose would speak to her.

“sometimes, you even sound like her.” — pearl, rose’s scabbard

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