bluebirdsforever

[bluebirdsforever]

[bluebirdsforever]

"We all have instincts, but the less you listen to them, the more they fade—that's when you become really indecisive or lost. But the more you listen to your instincts, the stronger they get. You start to know the answer to your own questions much faster."

[bluebirdsforever]

marina ✧ performing froot at rainbow room .*･｡ﾟ

[bluebirdsforever]

hello!

i don’t know how to begin this with, but first off i wanna say that i’ve never talked about personal things before on here but i feel like i’ve been keeping this to myself for a while and it’s time i rant a bit

i wish i could explain how much tumblr actually affects me. i’ve had this marina blog for over 5 years now, and although i’ve had some hiatus from time to time i still come back to it. i’m emotionally attached to this blog (and marina of course) and i’ve only just recently realized what it does to me.

making gifs and edits is pretty stressful i have to admit! i used to do it to express my creativity and during free time, but now i literally feel like i have a job. 

most edits and gifs i make are during night, and there are times over weekends where i would pull and all nighter just to perfect the gifset, or make a couple for my queue. there are times where i would come home early from school just so i could see marina’s music videos during premieres, and gif them in time

in other words, i hope this doesn’t sound cringey but yes, the notes on my posts affect me so much. it saddens me because i feel like my content isn’t good enough and every time i try to out do myself. i’m not saying that i expect to get thousands of notes on a post, but i would truly appreciate it if i could get to at least 200-300, which some of the posts i work hard on barely reach

(the following is not an attack or whatever to my dear mutual friends, or other tumblr blogs) almost on a daily basis i try to “compare” my blog with others’, see what they’ve posted and always get insecure about my own editing skills. there are times people make a similar gifset much better than mine, get more notes and immediately i overthink everything and feel like.. shit tbh. of course i love my dear mutuals! every single one of them is a sweetheart and i completely appreciate and understand their hard work, i just feel like compared to them, i’m shit 

another note, i feel like nobody even interacts with this account and it’s basically like a one-sided relationship lol. i feel like i give so much and get nothing in return :( as i said i’ve had this account for over 5 years and yet my follower count is still 5,000 and the number barely moves no matter how much i post or try to get exposure. it just makes me feel so sad like i feel underappreciated :(

also, i wish people could understand that tumblr fandoms are so underrated and well....dead. yes, marina used tumblr before but she never interacted with accounts like she does on insta and twitter (liking, retweeting, replying to comments), meanwhile my (and other creators’ posts) are being reposted and take credit for it, get double the exposure than my own original post and some even get noticed from marina herself. it just doesn’t seem fair to me.

maybe this rant is pathetic and i would understand why, but this blog has been a priority of mine for such a long time that i completely forgot about my mental health and became extra competitive. my high school graduation is in 2 weeks and i put focus on making edits daily for this blog, rather than my exams. some people are gonna say i went too far and i agree lol.

 so instead of posting daily, i’ll be taking a break, which might be permanent or maybe i will just post whenever i feel like it, and i edit it purely out of joy - and not because i feel like i “must” post

i’m sorry this is so long and if you’ve read this through, thank you, support your favorite tumblr creators, and i truly hope you have a great day!

[bluebirdsforever]

MARINA eras + diamonds

[bluebirdsforever]

MARINA eras + diamonds

[bluebirdsforever]

Don't be so pathetic, just open up and sing

[bluebirdsforever]

MARINA @ Paper Magazine (2019)

[bluebirdsforever]

MARINA photographed for PAPER Magazine by Eric T. White

[bluebirdsforever]

MARINA photographed for PAPER Magazine by Eric T. White

[bluebirdsforever]

What are your thoughts on L+F?

Well, all I gotta say is I completely agree with Dee’s opinion. 

I was avoiding giving my opinion on the album because I’m a Marina blog and I was afraid of being criticized for saying negative things, however I personally think this is her most disappointing era so far. I only like 2 songs from 16 (Somehow both of them are written by Marina and produced by Joel Little), and there are some songs I couldn’t even listen to fully because I didn’t like them (*cough* Emotional Machine) (sorry Sky still love your url)

Like Dee said, if only the lyrics were better it could’ve been a better album. There are a lot of lyric parallels from previous eras, and yes they show all the growth and change but I also feel like... They’re just... Recycled? 

I still don’t understand why she released the Love side one-two (?) weeks before the whole Love + Fear album. Yes It’s a two collection album but there were only two unheard previous songs from Love and well.... we already waited for 4 years we might as well wait for 2 weeks for the whole thing 

Like Marina said, she’s aware that some fans won’t like it and it’s fine. It’s just my opinion and maybe I’ll grow into some couple songs. I just don’t think it was worth the wait. Although some people already had the album and demos 6 months before it was announced (Like... how??) I’m really happy because she looks proud of this album and that’s what I appreciate.

Her photoshoots have been killing it and physically (and mentally) she looks really happy and radiates positive energy. I like her tour concept and the visuals although I think she could’ve done a better job with that too. I don’t think choreography and backing dancers suit her stage performance, regardless if she’s going full pop. It just doesn’t seem... Marina

Whether she’ll consider the criticism or continue doing what she wants I’m still going to support her and I’m curious to see what happens next

[bluebirdsforever]

Beauty queen on a silver screen, living life like i’m in a dream...

[bluebirdsforever]

MARINA performing Enjoy Your Life in Newcastle, 29th April 2019

[bluebirdsforever]

“I realized that a lot of my motives were coming from a place of ego as opposed to creativity or love, but then I lost that feeling and it worried me because I thought all artists have big egos, or at least really good ones do. I thought: if I don’t have that feeling anymore, maybe it means I’m not a good artist and I should just stop.”  - MARINA on the cover of the May 2019 issue of Gay Times, out now.

[bluebirdsforever]

anyway too afraid by marina embodies what it’s like to feel the uncontrollable need to move to another country, start a new life, and move on to better things while simultaneously knowing you’re too afraid to break the ties with the life you already created for yourself even though you’re desperate to find a place where you finally belong

[bluebirdsforever]

“I’m here because I want to be here and not because a fourth album was due, because I’m not someone to go through the motions. If I didn’t do music, there are so many other things I could do.”

[bluebirdsforever]

MARINA (and the Diamonds) + discography