blu3-nightshade

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Christmas

I shall remove myself this year

While I’m still that girl child

They all doted on

When I’m still her

I shall say, no, thank you

I don’t feel like coming to Christmas lunches and dinners

I cannot hear her name

Cannot feel her against my skin

Know that all they see is her

I shall remove myself this year

from family events and such

Because I cannot bear the gazes

They will give me

Once I present myself

As myself

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I CRIED IT WAS SO GOOD!!!!

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YES.

BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT ALICE IS CANONICALLY TRANS???

so who else is screaming about everything we learned today

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okay just managed to load Ep 23 of TMAGP, let’s see!!

⚠️Spoilers ahead⚠️

min 9.06 ‘I wonder if any of you have felt it? The way other people try to convince us that we can better ourselves by being more like what they want’

smelling some Flesh, maybe some

min 10 ‘I’m staring at my piece right now […] so it’s properly bonded with me before tomorrow’

Corruption maybe? A desperate need to feel alive and accepted?

min 12.30 ‘I can see her under my rippled skin. Waiting to grow’

Okay definitely Corruption to me, spooky

‘She’s everything I wish I could’ve been’ FLESH

min 16.37 ‘I keep thinking of this life I’m leaving behind. I’d love her to keep my name. But I don’t think she will’

okay, now i’m thinking Stranger, and WAIT IS THAT HOW CELIA CAME TO BE??? ISTG IF IT IS IM GONNA FREAK OUT

min 17.24 ‘Perhaps people will like her more than me. I already like her more than me’

DEFINITELY STRANGER CROSSED WITH FLESH I SWEAR IF CELIA HAS COME TO BE LIKE THIS

min 19.38 ‘Jonathan Sims is pretty generic as names go. And I didn’t have much luck with Martin Blackwood either’

IM SORRY?? GENERIC?? THIS MAN’S NAME IS ANYTHING *BUT* GENERIC

min 19.48 ‘They died. Separately, nearly twenty years ago. […] as far as I can tell they never met’

WHAT

I

AM

HATING

THIS

min 20.07 ‘I think i found the right Bassira Hussain, and I have a lead on Helen…’ ‘Richardson?’ ‘That’s the one’

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

min 24.00 ‘Because I know how many eyes a regular human is supposed to have! It just stood there , holding this old tape recorder and…’

I AM SCREAMING

min 24.13 ‘Tape recorder?’ ‘Yes’ ‘You’re sure?’

ALICE MY LOVE YOU KNOW SOMETHING DONT YOU

min 24.38 ‘This isn’t the first time…’

I AM HOLDING IN TEARS ALICE WTF???

min 24.48 ‘Alice what are we going to do?’ ‘I don’t know’

I KNOW ITS SERIOUS BUT MY GOD JUST KISS ALREADY

WHAT??? ITS DONE LIKE THAT???? OKAY I NEED SOME TIME WHAT THE HELL

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currently sobbing on my blahaj rn don’t mind me

The stolitz shippers right now waiting for the full moon episode to drop:

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hello, tumblr. how are we feeling during the first tmagp thursday?

based on this meme made by @mariorsomething!!! wanna give credit where it's due!!

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should i write a fanfic rewriting the plot of Wish following the concept arts?

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“I wish and wish I were a man,

or better than any being were not: were nothing at all in the world,

not a body and not a soul;

not so much as a grain of dust

or drop of water from pole to pole.”

same Christina Rossetti

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as a kid i’d always wished i’d get to have one of those groups from coming of age teenage films; you know, tight knit, similar interests, found family, us against the world kinda group.

i had one, and lost it

i feel so empty now

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Did i like Radio Silence enough to start my own podcast?

yes.

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Lacrosse Captain

I am in a boarding school right? First year, decided to try a new sport, so I pick lacrosse. 

First practice and one of the Yr 13s (last year) volunteered. She is the reason I signed up to lacrosse for all three terms. I am a very useless bisexual.

She turned up to some practices with rainbow socks, and some other pride stuff. In our school sixth formers wear suits, so I’d see her daily in a very nice fitting black suit. I’d periodically die inside in my uniform.

You have to understand I *really* like Haikyuu, especially Yū Nishinoya, one of the characters that has a blonde streak in his hair. What has this got to do with anything?

Start of second term, who turns up with a bleached strand of hair? The captain.

Every encounter has been me trying and failing miserably to be as composed as possible in her presence. The year is coming to an end and I’ll probably never see her again but I wanted to share with y’all.

The reason I kept playing lacrosse this school year.

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i managed to get over my fear of open doors at night cuz… well,i’m expecting Michael so honestly cool with that

*not* okay without being covered by a blanket, no matter what they have to say

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i just saw the news that has been all over the Heartstopper fandom by now. Whoever it is, those people that pressured an 18 year old to come out unwillingly, you are trash. You are fucking trash and you need to understand that some people might need more time to come to terms with their sexuality, or might need time to come out if they want to come out at all!!

It’s shit how some people read the comics, watched the tv show and though it okay to pressure someone into coming out. Because the whole message of Heartstopper is to show how difficult it is for a person, how much of a journey it takes. And those people that brought Kit Connor to do this aren’t people that understood this message.

I was already going to make a speech on the issues surrounding coming out for school. And i really think this is something that should be brought to peoples attention outside our fandom.

But sincerely, to those people, may you fuck off

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hello

my name is… well i really don’t know at this point. But i’m a bundle of hormones and doubts, desperately trying to piece myself together to make a pretty picture and failing miserably.

I guess that’s normal teenage-hood though, huh?