bloodedhearts

[bloodedhearts]

im just built different (unstable)

[bloodedhearts]

this is a reminder that i literally do not care if you reply in five minutes, five months, five years.  still owe me something and want to start something new? go for it.  still owe me something and want to answer memes or send memes instead? go for it.  just not jiving with it and want to do something with a different character? go for it.  need to disappear into the wilderness and scream at the sky for a few years? no problem.  you take any and all the time you need.  this is a hobby, it is for fun, it should not ever cause you stress.  you do what you want to do when you want to do it.  i will never be mad bc you drop something or it takes a year for you to answer it.  this is a collaborative hobby that we do for enjoyment and if it isn’t fun, if it isn’t sparking joy, do something else. you take care of you.  

[bloodedhearts]

Loss and grief. Astarion is still smiling playfully, but he hates how Shadowheart seems to see through him right now. He knows she's an intelligent woman; it has been obvious form the start. But he refuses to speak about himself, not to anyone. It won't make an exception for her. And he knows he'd never want to listen to any of Lady Shar's teachings. All these gods and goddesses... they have never seemed to care about him. Even if he called them before.

"Believe in something, mmh ? What if the only one I know I can believe in is myself, darling ?" He lets a chuckle escape his mouth before he shrugs. "I believe I'm capable of doing whatever I have to do." And that he can find allies to help him against Cazador, but he decides to keep that thought to himself. He doubts and he's scared much more than he wants to admit.

"The blessed Nightsinger speaks often of loss and grief. I would think ... given you have experienced substantial loss in your life, that her teachings would resonate with you," However, she was thinking that if Astarion did believe in something, he would not share it for one, least of all with her given her perspective, and secondly, it definitely wouldn't be Lady Shar.

"I hope you believe in something," Shadowheart conceded after a moment, willing to give ... something ... to say the least. "I certainly do not look upon any small failures of yours with a critical eye. Like when you fail to disarm a pressured vent ... when the lockpick slips from you when you fail to unlock a particularly stubborn door. I do not look at you and think your fortune would probably change if you were blessed more."

[bloodedhearts]

I can’t with his theatrical pearls clutching😆

[bloodedhearts]

"I knew you were trouble when you walked in.So,shame on me now. " (@Shadowheart, I saw your spotify lmao )

Unprompted Ask | Always Accepting | @bloodedstars

Shadowheart raises an eyebrow at these words. Is she really trouble ? Astarion sounds much more like trouble. Well, she's a follower of Lady Shar, but she's surely not a problem because of it. Her dark lady has only given her strength.

"Why would I be trouble, exactly ?" she asks, crossing her arms over her chest. "I think I'm more likely to end up lying on the cold hard ground than you are."

[bloodedhearts]

My name is Astarion, and I've spent a century stalking the night, hunting for pretty morsels just like you. A man called Cazador made me who I am, kept me like a pet, and forced me to do his bidding. No more.

[bloodedhearts]

Shadowheart raises a curious eyebrow. Her friend seems to have seen a lot. It makes the cleric realize how she actually didn't know much about the world around her. Or maybe it really is just because this world is full of surprises. "Something in the way she talks ?" she repeats. "Well I hope it'll come back to you. I'm curous."

"I hope we won't turn illithid." It would be a nightmare, a fate far worse than death itself. But Shadowheart refuses to think they will turn illithid. It seems that the artifact is protecting them somehow. She really doesn't know how to explain it, though. She lets a chuckle escape her mouth. "Well, I guess I like it ? But I have to go back for my mission. It's important."

“Well, yes - several times actually - but that’s not what is reminding me of something.” She taps her chin in thought before it occurs to her how that statement is probably somewhat alarming. How many people meet potential child murderers in their lifetime (probably more than you would think.) “There’s just something in the way she talks that… ugh, it’ll come back to me later. Probably.”

She crinkled her nose, then she shook her head. “I understand where Nettie was coming from - if we turn illithid, we’re a danger to everyone here. But we haven’t, and haven’t shown symptoms yet - jumping to poison is a bit sudden. She glanced at Shadowheart, and raised her eyebrow slightly. “You must really like that city.” Can’t relate.

[bloodedhearts]

Shadowheart knows very well they should focus on Ketheric Thorm. Their mission is more important than her existential crisis. But she still feels so lost. She thinks betraying Shar was probably the right thing to do. Aylin seems to know things about her past, and she didn't seem like a bad person. She will need to listen to her... even if she's also so damn scared to learn the truth. Has her entire life beeing a lie ? The thought is scary. So damn scary.

She offers Astarion a sad smile. She appreciates him right now. She has never been that good at understanding him or at talking with him. They're both so different. And yet... maybe they're not that different. Not as much as Shadowheart first thought.

"Wine stashed, mmh ? I wouldn't say no. Actually I think I need it." She lets a brief chuckle escape her mouth. "Want to share it with me ?"

He's not good at this. He never was... Was he? Perhaps before he was turned, maybe? Even so, he couldn't really remember. Regardless, him trying to reassure someone without it coming off as either sarcastic or a humorous jab was not one of his strong points.

"If you say so, darling." Astarion hummed at her response. Having been there and witnessed Shadowheart's ordeal, it was hard not to notice how she struggled.

And there he was. Having heard what his master had planned for the Rite of Profane Ascension and him secretly planning to find some way to take all that power for himself in Cazador's place. Nothing was going to stand in his way or talk him out of it. No regrets... Right?... Right?!

"Honestly though, what you went through wasn't easy. Can't even begin to imagine what was going through your head. I don't think anyone would blame you if you needed a moment to process." He hinted. "Hells, if you're desperate enough, I might even have some wine stashed away that I'm willing to part with."

[bloodedhearts]

ohhhh i get it now. the little seed of loneliness i’ve carried with me since i was five will never go away

[bloodedhearts]

BALDUR’S GATE 3 (2023) — developed by larian studios. [insp.]

[bloodedhearts]

Sorry for not writing much this weekend! I'm sick, feeling better than Thursday and Friday, but still not perfect! I'm trying to rest before the week of work starts 😢

[bloodedhearts]

[bloodedhearts]

" Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? " for Shadowheart 😊

Unprompted Ask | Always Accepting | @bloodedstars

"No. Next question ?"

[bloodedhearts]

(งツ)ว on my way to fuck things up

[bloodedhearts]

i’m begging, you

                  p l e a s e

                                         give me a reason                                          give me a reason                                          give me a reason

                                                                    to stay

[bloodedhearts]

[bloodedhearts]

Shadowheart can't help but laugh at Astarion's words. "You ? Yeah, very chivalrous. On one can compare to you." She's teasing him, of course, but the truth is that he's chearing her right now, somehow. She doesn't know if he's doing it on purpose, but she appreciates his presence right now.

She listens to him and offers him a smile. She knows he's not the best one in the group at talking, but he means well right now. It's obvious. Astarion is probably a much better man than he thinks. "Just like you won't be alone once the time comes to face your former master. We're all together, no matter what is to come." She pauses for a short moment. "It's crazy our messy our lives are, right ?"

“  you know me. ever the chivalrous gentleman. i'd put dear old wyll to shame, ” he couldn't be more sarcastic if he tried, hand over his heart as if it beat with the same kindness and devotion as their dear devilled warlock. astarion sits beside shadowheart, leaning back on the balls of his palms.

“  fear can make us do incredibly stupid things, but what's important is that you've made a choice. as for living with it, well, that's a different kettle of fish, ” he could sympathise to a degree. although, he's not sure what would be worse: facing his old master or the lady shar herself. he grimaces at the thought. “  oh yes, the power of friendship and all that ... but, you're right. whatever's waiting for you there, you won't be alone. you can trust me on that. ”