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college study tips that actually help

put your phone on silent and put it across the room

listen to classical/soundtrack music without lyrics

make index cards for important vocab

wear pajamas

make diagrams and pictures. they don’t have to look pretty, as long as you understand it

make timelines for historical events

have a light snack

drink coffee or tea to keep you going

take a break every hour or so

have one pencil/black pen and one colored pen or highlighter. anything more will just distract you. the aesthetics aren’t important, your knowledge is

don’t be afraid to email/message your teacher or a classmate if you don’t understand something. the last thing you want to do is learn the incorrect information

know that sleep and health is more important than your grade. you cannot perform as well on a test if you are tired or sick. take care of yourself

it’s not a race. it’s not about who can learn something in the quickest time, it’s about learning

take a deep breath 

prioritize your homework by how long it will take you and when it’s due

plan some you time in between studying and school

if you’re mentally exhausted, set a timer for 30 minutes and take a nap. any longer and you’ll wake up even more tired

don’t understand something? that’s perfectly fine, don’t stress over it. ask for help rather than complaining

have a goal in mind and write them down. say things like “i am getting an education so i can get the job of my dreams. the life that i want. the happiness that i deserve”

be thankful. it is a privilege that you get to go to school and get an education. 

you got this.

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March To End Rape Culture

TW// Mention of r*pe:

Yesterday I attended the March To End Rape Culture in Philadelphia down in Thomas Paine Plaza. This is the second march I have ever attended and I have got to admit I did not think I could feel more empowered and called to action after attending the Women's March in DC last year but I was wrong. This march was filled with emotion and raw energy from everyone who was present. The speakers, some who are survivors of sexual assault gave such brave and empowering speeches and poems. It was so inspiring seeing how these women were able to overcome these difficult times in their life and turn their pain into action to help other women going through similar events in their lives. Yesterday I had the privilege of speaking to a woman about her life and the trauma she has experienced. She explained to me that she was drinking alcohol by the age of nine and addicted to drugs by the age of 15. She had been raped five times in her life but could only clearly recall two of the times. She started to tell me a story about her best friend and how one night while she was living in New York her and her best friend was walking and a man pulled his car to the side of the road threatened her and then through her best friend into his trunk and drove off. When she went to the police station to report that her best friend had been abducted and she had been threatened, the police told her that they could not really help her because the man was probably her "best friends pimp". Till this day this woman (who will go unnamed for privacy purposes) has not seen or heard from her best friend. She told me " I just pray wherever she is, she's safe". Mid-way through her story I had to put my sunglasses on because I began to cry. These are the kind of stories that I do not want to hear but I know are necessary for me to here in order to help to accomplish the goal of Ending Rape Culture. Although she has experienced so many things in her life that would be a good enough reason for her to give up, she hasn't. She now hosts and organizes events for women and young girls that have gone through similar situations and helps them overcome it. I will forever hold on to this woman's story, her resilience and her passion to want to help others.

Unfortunately, along with all of the beautiful speeches given and all of the love that was shared, there was the presence of hate as well. A counter protest was taking place right behind the location of the MTERC rally and they were holding signs that read "women belong in the kitchen", "you promote rape'', "whores go to hell" etc. While they were displaying such messages they were also holding up signs that had bible verses on them as well... hilarious right? LOL! I am not religious a but I know for certain that what I saw yesterday was not Christianity. I would like to believe that those people had nothing better to do and just thought they'd kill some time by being a pain in the ass but in reality, I know that there are people who believe and feel the things their signs said. Fortunately, there are hundreds of men and women who are not going to tolerate the bullshit. While the rally was going on these counter-protesters began to scream and raise their voices as survivors were giving their speeches. A group of women formed a human wall around these protesters and they began singing songs and hugging each other and showing compassion instead of hate. This is how you change the world- you will always attract more bees with honey than you will with water and although these counter protestors might have dismissed the kindness and love that was being shown by the MTERC protesters, I know that it greatly affected the people around them in a positive way.

Since I have posted pictures from the march on my personal Instagram and my public blog Instagram I have been getting a lot of mixed reactions. For the most part a lot of my followers have liked and commented positive things onto my post but last night two people made comments that I could not help but to ignore. One anti-feminist Instagram page commented " This is so dumb, I can't" and a WWE wrestling fan page commented "fuck you bitch" LMAO! I am trying to teach myself to not internalize things but also learning to allow myself to confront situations that bother me without doing it in a way that just perpetuates more anger and frustration. One thing I've definitely learned from having a blog and using social media in the volume that I do is that it is hard. People are mean, people are ignorant and people will say a lot more over the comfort of a keyboard than they'd ever dare say face to face. I acknowledge and applaud myself for being able to react the way that I react to counter protests and arguments that I have come across on social media because just two years ago I would have just attacked and badgered people who do not agree with me or choose to call me a "bitch" or tell me to "go fuck myself". I've discovered that learning to deal with situations like this and deciding when to walk away from situations like this, is an extraordinary act of self-love/care and a necessary one.

For those of you who feel that rape culture and sexual assault is not your problem or does not affect you here are some statistics of the Rates of Sexual Assault Against Women in the US:

All Women: 17.6%

Latina Women: 14.6%

White Women: 17.7%

Black Women: 18.8%

Asian Pacific Islander Women: 6.8%

American Indian Women: 34.1%

Mixed Race Women: 24.4%

Sexual Assault is intersectional.

*To learn more about sexual assault and statistics amongst demographics in the united states visit https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence for more information. The only way to progress and attempt to make a change is if we first educate ourselves.*

Love, J

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Wonder Woman (2017) poster by Tula Lotay for Mondo

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What they don’t tell you: Self care sometimes isn’t fun. It’s going to class even when you want to stay in bed and rest. It’s paying bills on time and running errands even when every strand of your being cant stand it. It’s going to therapy and taking your medicine even when you don’t want to. It’s using coping skills even when going back to self destructive ones seems more appealing.

Recovering sucks. It’s hard. But you have to believe in the light at the end of the tunnel. And even on those days you don’t, you fake it till you make it.

Recovery is still worth it.

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Weekends are for rejuvenation & self reflection.

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Self love is the new relationship goals ✨💁🏽

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Self love is the new relationship goals ✨💁🏽

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5 Things That I Have Learned In My First Week Of College.

1. You do not need to show up to every class thirty minutes before it actually starts.

I am obviously still adjusting to my schedule and finding out what works best for me.  One thing I have already learned that does not work out for me is arriving at every damn class 30+ min before they start. My dorm building is relatively close to my classroom buildings and on average it takes me about 6-9 minutes to get from my dorm to my classes. I have been getting up super early and leaving way before my classes start with the fear of getting there late. I want to nip this habit in the bud early so that I am not wasting my time once my workload starts to increase and my time becomes limited. I was raised to always make sure I show up to things either early or right on time but I am showing up excessively early which could soon become a problem.

2. The girls you share your communal bathroom with were not raised the same way you were when it comes to cleaning.

When I found out I had a communal bathroom in my dorm, of course, I was grossed out and nervous to have to share my space with 52 other females. The first couple of days on campus were not so bad. Everyone seemed like they were cleaning up after themselves, making sure if they made a mess they cleaned it up right away and, were taking care of our bathroom. Now I feel like some of the girls on my floor might be getting a bit too comfortable. Leaving toilet paper on the ground and wads of hair in the shower and "forgetting" to flush the toilet seems like habits they are having a hard time breaking since leaving home. This is hard for me to deal with because at my house this was never okay so I never got into the habit of doing these things. When I make a mess, especially in a setting such as our communal bathroom- I clean it up. Growing up I had daily chores that I was responsible for finishing and it is to my understanding that some of these girls were raised the same way but their transition from living at home and now alone in school is not going the same as mine.  I have learned that not everyone has the same habits, hygiene or common courtesy as I do and in some cases, there is not much I can do about it.

3. Take advantage of ALL of the free stuff your school is willing to give you.

I am now a poor college student. I do not have the time to pretend like I am out here in college balling. A few people have invited me to do things over the weekend and during the week which have all required me spending money I really do not have. I found that it is a lot easier to take advantage of the free activities my school has to offer me rather than spending money on activities I really can't afford. After all, I am paying my own tuition to attend Temple. I intend on taking advantage of all of the FREE things they are willing to offer me. I am a sucker for a free t-shirt, I love free food and if it's an event that gets me out of my sad dorm room I am all for it. I am so much of a freeloader that a Redbull rep was handing out free RedBull to students in my dorm building this past weekend and I do not drink red bull but I love free stuff so much I almost took the Redbull anyway ( wait does this mean I like free stuff or am I just greedy? LOL!).

It's still early in the semester and I do not want to find myself in a situation months from now that I could have easily avoided by planning and spending my money responsibly early on in the year. This past Friday I attended a free bus trip our Tyler school of art was hosting down into Old City Philadelphia. Although I am not an art major nor do I really enjoy visiting art galleries, I had a really good time. I went with a friend and we walked around, took pictures, got ice cream and talked for about two hours about everything! I am encouraging myself to get involved with trips and events like this even though I might not have an interest in it at first because I want to open myself up to things I have never done before.

4. Staying in does not mean that you are boring.

I have been kicking myself in the foot lately because this past week a lot of the people in my hall have been going out to parties. Just to give some background, I have never been a "party person" it's never been my setting. I'd much rather hang out at a kickback or go do something else but being crammed into a sweaty house with alcohol and people I do not know just does not appeal to me. Because of this, I have made myself feel guilty for not going out. I have tricked myself into thinking I am "boring" or not experiencing the "college life" and all it has to offer by not attending parties. I have to remind myself that just because I am not going to parties does not mean that I am not having fun and also does not mean that I am not getting involved. I know that it is only my first week of my freshman year and that my attitude towards parties could surely change, but for right now I have just decided they are not my thing and that is okay.

5. It is okay to be "Freshman-y"

Whether you are a freshman in high school or a freshman in college you are absolutely aware that you are at the bottom of the food chain and essentially no one has respect for you just because of the mere fact of you being a freshman. I HATE that coming into school there are so many Facebook posts and articles shared on "what not to do" as a freshman. Some of them were so crazy for example I saw an article that said that freshmen shouldn't wear their lanyards around their necks, should try to avoid asking upperclassmen for help and "shouldn't be so excited for college". I just want to say right now that I feel like all of that is bullshit. I mean it is absolutely crazy to think that putting your lanyard around your neck... where it goes.. could make you look more like a freshman... which I AM. It is as if the motives of these articles and statements are to try and help us look like anything else but a freshman. I have learned from my own experiences this week that I am okay with looking like an annoying freshman. I am perfectly fine with not knowing where my classes are and having to ask for help, or not knowing how to get a package sent to me, or not knowing how to work the washing machines in our laundry room. My pride and ego are not too big for me to ask for help and I hope that if there are any freshman reading this post ( whether in high school or college) you understand that there is nothing wrong with asking for help. Use the tools and resources that are here for freshmen to succeed and take advantage of all of the help people are willing to give you now because they might not be so willing as you begin to get older. Lastly, it is okay to be excited about college. Some of us have worked so hard to get here and we deserve to feel excitement and pride to be where we are. Do not let upperclassmen or anyone else make you feel like you should not be excited.

Love, J