bleedingblues

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You have never read homestuck!

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Prince Lorian’s design is one of my favorites

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~But don’t you remember, we met before once upon a dream~

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Not only do people with depression have to deal with feeling either emotionally numb or vehemently opposed to living, but once the fog clears and their brains start to function properly they have to hear their own mind tell them how stupid and dramatic they were acting when they know damn well that at the time it wasn’t dramatic at all.

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I’ve become really emotionally detached from the concept of dealing with people and forming relationships. The concept is definitely super cute but then I think about how much of my time has been wasted and how often people fail to see the value in me and then I’m like that’s a hard pass, eh. I’ll just continue being my own hype man and loving the shit out of me on the regular.

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I push people away.

It’s just what I do. The moment I begin to feel attached I start to close myself off. It’s like I shut off all emotion, negative or positive, any sort of emotion that I feel involving that person is just suddenly gone. After the emotional numbness has set in,  the real damage begins. I show them just a glimpse of how messed up I really am. I’ll take easy offence to a comment that they make about something that I would usually overlook, or I’ll intentionally over react to something so insignificant that it seems almost insane to express any issue with it at all. I’ll then proceed to getting really emotional, telling them everything that is eating me up on the inside. Some how blaming them in the process, causing them to feel bad about neglecting me or excluding me in some way. It’s almost as if I’m having some sort of break down. After the unnecessarily dramatic argument, I’ll stop talking to them. I’ll act as if I’m mad at them for something that was said during the stupid argument. From there it’s all a breeze. I’ll show lack of interest in resolving anything from the argument, and I’ll slowly just fade out of their life. I don’t know why I do this. I don’t know how to stop it. I guess I just want to see who cares enough to stay.

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I used to take drugs to feel happy, now I take them just to feel numb.

s1mer 💎💸 (via s1mer)

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What’s worse: feeling everything or feeling nothing?

Seven Word Story. (via identitaetsverluste)

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“I become attached to people I shouldn’t. I distance myself from the people that matter. I am bad with people. I am good at being alone. But I hate being lonely.”

P.p. (via secondhandcanvas)

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