blastmyfuckingskull

[blastmyfuckingskull]

conflicted feelings towards a father figure (literary/cinematic parallels)

Mary Ruefle, Woodtangle // Amanda Palmer, Runs in the Family // Catherine Lacey, Cut (edit by heavensghost) // Franz Wright, from an interview with Kaveh Akbar // Jesse Armstrong, Succession HBO (2018 - ) // The Antlers, Epilogue

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Poetry by Amrita chakraborty ( @sunrisesongs )

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i think im finally starting to understand the use of writing, or maybe just starting to believe in it.

right now, i feel so lonely. i have my family, but my sister, my little baby fucking baby five days old little precious heart aching little sister isn’t here and i don’t want to burden the family that is with my tears.

i reached out on my dumb dragon raja game, and someone had the nerve to ignore what i said and keep flirting because they’re so fucking self-obsessed that they can’t see how fucked it is to talk and focus on you when i’m sharing my pain, my horror, somethinng rare and unexpected and important anf fucking real.

i get why people scream out on their blogs, why they pour their hearts. because no one else will see it, or wants to. or they just don’t get it.

she was choking for so, so long. she couldn’t breathe for so, so long, and i feel so fucking sad and horrible and stupid for letting it happen, for not doing better, for letting her hurt so early on. i dont wan’t that, i don’t. i don’t want her pain, i want her smiles, her laughs, that crooked loose little unformed cheek and curve of her lips thats so endearing and she had no idea she’s doing it at all.

i want her home, i want her safe. please stay safe, please. i’d run so far and so hard and do anything for you to be okay, to be here.

i love you, luna

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06/28/2020 12:12 AM

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Everyday has turned into sleeping as much as I physically can to avoid living.

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Being a depressed and very aware person is like… It doesn’t matter how many times you sit in your bedroom having revelations …nothing changes unless you make a move and do something. Something physical. The mind multiplies forever but nothing really ‘changes’……… and that’s sad. I…

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childhood trauma is so weird because you grow up to find out that stuff that happened wasn’t okay and suddenly memories come back and you realize how it really messed you up on the inside

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THE ONLY THING YOU EVER TAUGHT ME

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Bloodletting

Gotta get the demons out somehow ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

PATREON | KO-FI | SOCIETY6

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life is just one thing after another huh

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it eats me alive.

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American liberals will be like "we live in a fascist state also take away our guns please"

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The next time they tell you Americans are “happy” with their employer provided health insurance remember that that “happiness” is fueled by willful ignorance of what the alternatives are really like and fear of losing what little crappy health care they currently have.

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Elena, Petra Costa (2012)

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having my lashes done on one eye was very overwhelming, i got upset bc i wasnt planning for it/hadn’t prepared ahead of time to suddenly do it, plus the tape got stuck to my lower lash/water line which i had voiced discomfort with from the start, and there were things happening with my eyes closed that when i asked about were ignored and not explained. so i felt overwhelmed and upset and uncomfortable bc i couldn’t even/can’t wholly touch my eye and mom kept trying to talk to me so i just got upset and frustrated while talking to her