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[blackbirdbluerae]

**PSA** DUMB ASS LESBIAN IN DISTRESS!!

I got some earrings that I've been wanting for my birthday, tonight..

Can SOMEONE tell me why, I (a grown ass woman) canNOT figure this out?!

Update: They are one gage difference. ONE. Why can't I POP-LOCK-AND DROP IT THROUGH?!

Double Update: when I say gage, I mean like from a 20 to an 18...

[blackbirdbluerae]

Why?

How are you STILL the most beautiful girl, I have EVER seen?

I mean, I catch a GLIMPSE of your photo, and I'm stunned, all over again.

It isn't fair, at all.. but what can I do?

[blackbirdbluerae]

I must've asked myself, at least a million times, by now-

"How do you make yourself.. let her go... when she was such a big part of you, and your life?"

The only answer I've managed to come up with is this:

You just have to.

You

HAVE

To.

She isn't YOURS, and NEVER was

She doesn't BELONG to you

She isn't responsible for YOUR feelings, or attachments

She isn't a FUCKING OBJECT you can claim

Try to remember that she needs to live her life, best as she can;

She didn't hurt me, because she wanted to.. She's just trying to grow.

I know this all feels like it's cut far too short, and I know neither of us were prepared... This isn't at all what we had planned.

I will always wish the best, for you, my dear.

"A lady always knows when it's time to leave"

[blackbirdbluerae]

A girl.

[blackbirdbluerae]

You have always stolen the spotlight, haven't you?

At least you have,, if I've ever had anything to do with it..

You've been the center of the show, any fuckin day I showed up; and even some days that I didn't..

Why do you think that is?

Maybe because I adore you? Or because I think you deserve it?

Or, maybe, it's because I know nobody else has cherished you as a human being, and I believe you've more than earned the respect/attention that comes along with being who you are.

- I Think You Forgot Something, Though:

I still exist, babe.

I'm still here, pulling the curtains for YOUR stage.. wondering WHEN the show you're performing is going to address my existence.

You probably won't, to be honest. So.. I'll just go, now.

EXIT- Stage Left.

[blackbirdbluerae]

I guess, this is it...

I think this is the part, where I try my best to let go...

This is when I say how grateful I am for the time I had with you, and how much you mean to me...

So, thank you for loving me as hard as you could, until you couldn't anymore.

And, thank you for going so far out of your way, to make sure I was always heard, appreciated, and taken care of.

Thank you for taking a chance on me, even though you were afraid.

I'll never forget the way you looked at me, when you were really happy; or how your eyes could light up even the darkest room.

I'll miss your laugh, and your smile, and how you pushed me away, just so you could pull me back in again for a kiss.

You've changed my life SO MUCH, for the better, love. I can only hope that you can say the same about me. I love you, with all my heart, baby girl. I'll be missing you.

And, if you ever start to miss me again.. well, you know right where I'll be.

[blackbirdbluerae]

Watch "Brett Young - You Didn’t (Lyric Video)" on YouTube

I was (and will always be) happy for the time I had with her. And, I hope she finds happiness, wherever she goes.

I know she loves (loved?) me, I'm just not sure timing ever lined up, in our favor.

There's almost no chance of her ever seeing this, but if she does, I wanna say "I love you, with all my heart, Lyss. And I hope life is better for you, there. I'll be missing you."

[blackbirdbluerae]

"So, this is how it ends.. this is where it all goes down... this is what 'I don't love you' feels like.

It ain't the middle of the night, and it ain't even raining outside.

It ain't exactly what I had in mind, for goodbye:

At a red light, in the sunshine, on a Sunday -nothing to say- don't even try!

Some are coming home, some are leaving town; while my world's crashing down - on a Sunday, in the sunshine, at a red light."

[blackbirdbluerae]

I want SO FUCKING BAD to be the "better/bigger" person, right now.. I really do.

But, I'm *FUCKING* PISSED.

I'm so angry.

I have done EVERYTHING in my power to make you feel safe. And that isn't enough.

I'm out, man. I'm fucking done.

[blackbirdbluerae]

I'll just leave you alone, then.

[blackbirdbluerae]

Bobby.. (sometimes)Dad?

... I really miss you.

[blackbirdbluerae]

I want SO BAD to be stupid, and over thinking, you not coming back tonight.

Maybe you fell asleep at home

Maybe something came up with your roommates

Maybe work called you in, cause they were busy

But, you said you'd be back...

You kissed me goodbye.

[blackbirdbluerae]

Please.

Please...

Please...

Don't leave, without saying goodbye, again..

You promised.

[blackbirdbluerae]

I guess, this is it...

I think this is the part, where I try my best to let go...

This is when I say how grateful I am for the time I had with you, and how much you mean to me...

So, thank you for loving me as hard as you could, until you couldn't anymore.

And, thank you for going so far out of your way, to make sure I was always heard, appreciated, and taken care of.

Thank you for taking a chance on me, even though you were afraid.

I'll never forget the way you looked at me, when you were really happy; or how your eyes could light up even the darkest room.

I'll miss your laugh, and your smile, and how you pushed me away, just so you could pull me back in again for a kiss.

You've changed my life SO MUCH, for the better, love. I can only hope that you can say the same about me. I love you, with all my heart, baby girl. I'll be missing you.

And, if you ever start to miss me again.. well, you know right where I'll be.

[blackbirdbluerae]

Where Did You Go?

Where is my "punching wall" girlfriend? Where's the girl that holds me when I cry?

'Cause I'm crying now, I miss you, and I don't know where the hell you are.

[blackbirdbluerae]

What the fuck am I supposed to do, when I just want to FUCKING go home...

But, you're my home.. and you left, without even saying goodbye.

[blackbirdbluerae]

How do I console myself;

When you've protected me for so long?

I know I'll be okay, but I reserve the right to be broken, first.