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I wrote this a year or two ago and I stand by it. Things continue getting better.

I am so much happier and healthier now doing the hard work in therapy, letting myself be who I am, and unlearning unhelpful thought patterns. It’s not easy, but it isn’t bad. It’s so worth it.

Cheers

To you apostates, heretics, and black sheep.

Y’all are stronger than you think.

I remember thinking right in the middle of my deconversion that life was unbearable. I wanted to die. The world was spinning, there was pressure from all sides. It was almost unbearable. I slept so much. And I constantly wondered if I would ever feel normal again.

And honestly? Life is fucking hard. But it is nothing, nothing, like it was during deconversion.

I can look back on my life and see progress in so many areas. And yeah, sometimes the world spins again, but it isn’t perpetual.

It is okay. I can make it. You can make it.

The self doubt is still around but it isn’t screaming.

The wrongful guilt rears it’s head, but it isn’t all consuming.

It’s up and down and messy. But it’s better. That nightmare deconversion isn’t permanent.

Love y’alll. Good luck. 🍀🖤

[black-sheep-blues]

“May is full of maybes. A mix of cold and dark and grey and sunshine and blooming. I guess the year is still growing.”

— May, V.P.

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My family thinks it’s strange that I like having roommates. But these are my people. The people I want around me. It’s not even like we spend all day every day with each other. But it’s knowing they are there. Seeing the coffee mug left out and knowing it’s been used. Seeing the extra pair of shoes at the door. The socks that somehow end up crammed in couch cushions. I have two roommates right now. Another roommate left recently.

But while we didn’t hang out all that much, there were signs of her life all over the house. And I miss that now.

That’s why I love roommates.

I love seeing my favorite people all the time, but I also love seeing evidence of their life and presence around me. Their books, their charms, their favorite snacks, their magic…I know they’re still around. Its warm. It’s comforting. It’s safe. It’s home. I love it. I love them.

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my entire life changed when my dentist told me that the only time my teeth should be touching is when i’m chewing. every single time my teeth are touching i have to separate them. and i noticed that i clench my teeth a LOT.

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#AbolishICE poster design by Phoebe Wahl

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me around other gays and non-homophobic straight people: actually I think gay marriage is simply a band-aid solution and an empty gesture. Our real focus as a community ought to be homeless and depressed gay youth, especially trans youth.

me around homophobes: 

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“I am who I am. Your approval isn’t needed.”

—

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Fuck the queue function. I’m hitting y’all with four straight hours of whirlwind shitposting followed by eight days of radio silence.

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The day I came out, everything was taken away. Everyone who had said they loved me …no longer did. x

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Don’t pray for me I found myself when I lost my faith

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Thank you to the Imagine Dragons Documentary (Believer) for letting me know this album exists. Holy hell.

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If you’re a freak like me, Wave your flag! If you’re a freak like me, Get off your ass! It’s our time now, To let it all hang out So shout if you’re a freak like me, You were born to burn, This is no disease you don’t need a cure! It’s our time now to come out! If you’re a freak like me! If you’re a freak like me! We’re underground but we will not surrender, We’re gonna give them something to remember, yeah, So write your name in gasoline, And set that shit on fire...

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Anne Hathaway, Audra McDonald and Raul Esparza in “Twelfth Night”