bittenredtoo

[bittenredtoo]

"Quiet"

Summary:

How easy it was for her to fall back into that Fade prison when everything was too quiet.

Notes:

Rated M Established Relationship | Dissociation | Emotions | Vaginal Sex | some depictions of trauma? | Rook and Lucanis are both very tired after fighting literal GODS

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Treviso was never a silent city. She whispered her secrets through the air, letting them ride on the small waves that licked the brick lining of the canals and the soft mist that lay upon the flowers in gardens. She tantalized the tongues of gossips and betrayers as they moved past her riddled walls or flew down ziplines, a strange buzz of excitement constantly permeating the air as the citizens wondered what might touch their existence this time. Another assassination? A corrupt politician? A limited time sale on the spices imported from Orlais?

Rook used to know her city’s secrets well. A quiet comfort as she snuck away from Viago and Heir’s relentless teachings to sit on high roofs and count the number of lights that blinked throughout the markets, pretending they were stars.

Nowadays, however, Treviso felt almost…Tranquil.

She couldn’t remember how long it was since she was last allowed to stay and sleep in her city - Six months? Ten? Sixteen? - nor did she know for sure whether or not she was truly welcomed back. But, as Rook lay in one of the many over extravagant beds in House Dellamorte, she felt as though her skin was being stretched too tight.

Life in the Fade made the stillness of an unnatural quiet seem almost pleasant to her. It never dulled her mind or her intuition. In fact, Rook would’ve wagered that her senses felt all the more sharper when she was in the Lighthouse, her own soul becoming attuned to every particle that made up the building they considered - even for a short time - home.

But now, she could still feel the sting of her heart the day it bled on Tearstone Island, the muscles of her memory barely piecing together what had happened when she was finally free from Solas’s mental prison. It left her feeling disoriented and soft, her form a little fuzzy around the edges as if her soul was no longer tightly tethered to her body.

There were times lately where Rook could even forget she had a body, the lull moments between missions and deals with the Shadow Dragons catching her staring at a wall far longer than what was normal until her body whined about her posture. And even then, she found herself unmoving, her vision becoming unfocused as her mind seeped out of her form like a dry leaf running along a stream of water, shrouding her own physical manifestation from herself.

Perhaps this was how Solas felt when he was nothing more than a spirit watching the world. A small fragment of creation interwoven within the fabric of time and magic.

It left a bitter taste in her mouth, remembering him. And yet, how easy it was to find herself in his shadow.

How easy it was for her to fall back into that Fade prison when everything was too quiet.

She rubbed her thumb and forefinger together mindlessly, eyes wide as she stared at some unknown shape in the darkness of the room. The moonlight outside the window illuminated the wall just enough to paint the small shadows of raindrops sliding down the glass. Though, Rook could barely hear any of them. She found herself drifting someplace underwater, the seams of her presence loose at best. The room around her felt muffled and blurry as if she didn’t quite fit in this space she shared with someone.

It is here when she’s riding along the edge of drowning that the door suddenly opened. The candles in the hallway had dimmed and halved themselves since they were lit in the evening, but still the light cut into the darkness like a knife carving through the veil, an all too familiar image which made a small part of her body tense severely. The warmth that followed the light, however, was completely new and the familiarity of the silhouette that stood at the threshold made Rook breathe a small sigh of relief.

Him.

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