bitchyblondeminyard

[bitchyblondeminyard]

[bitchyblondeminyard]

As a Karlach fan I fucking hate how the only times these people talk about her is to once again prop up their favourite damon salvatore variant. She is her own person, not his personal guard dog. Leave my wife out of this, they want to project their worship of him onto every other character.

How this fandom babyfiy Astarion, honestly is funny at this point.

I guarantee you had Wyll said something along the lines of, "I'd attend your wedding, but only if I got to sit next to Cazador." Or "Thank Gortash, we got to meet." People would be foaming at the mouth.

But since these comments come from Astarion, it's just him being, "Sassy" or "Funny". It's never held against Astarion the same way some fans hold Wyll's "rat diet" quip against Wyll's character.

"When I heard Wyll say that I immediately benched him!"

"I wanted to launch him off a cliff at that moment!"

"I honestly cringed at this moment."

Meanwhile Astarion's racism and prejudice goes unchecked by the fandom, or garners a much less severe reaction. Basically Astarion can be as crass and mean to the other companions as he wants in his banters, but the other companions are expected to tip toe around him in their banter. It's very telling. Very, very telling.

This isn't even getting into how Astarion is babified in other ways. Like how he's viewed as a child because he "died" at the tender age of forty. This grown ass man had an entire career as a judge which he spent using to target and be prejudice agians the Gurr.

Or we could discuss the adultification I see when people talk about Wyll's backstory when he was just 17. How he's expected to know better, and outwit the eons old demoness. How his intelligence is called into questioned, because he doesn't know demon politics or didn't waste time negotiating/fact checking Mizora for a better contract while the fate of his home rest in the balance.

[bitchyblondeminyard]

so so much discussion of astarion revolves around literally nothing but his victimhood. him being mean is a trauma response we should excuse. so is him advocating for slavery. so is him clapping for child murder. so is every sin! because everyone on this website conflates victimhood with some innate moral purity. he is Just An Elvish Baby (wrong) who has No Autonomy (wrong!). watch them balk when you talk about cazador also being abused though

[bitchyblondeminyard]

How this fandom babyfiy Astarion, honestly is funny at this point.

I guarantee you had Wyll said something along the lines of, "I'd attend your wedding, but only if I got to sit next to Cazador." Or "Thank Gortash, we got to meet." People would be foaming at the mouth.

But since these comments come from Astarion, it's just him being, "Sassy" or "Funny". It's never held against Astarion the same way some fans hold Wyll's "rat diet" quip against Wyll's character.

"When I heard Wyll say that I immediately benched him!"

"I wanted to launch him off a cliff at that moment!"

"I honestly cringed at this moment."

Meanwhile Astarion's racism and prejudice goes unchecked by the fandom, or garners a much less severe reaction. Basically Astarion can be as crass and mean to the other companions as he wants in his banters, but the other companions are expected to tip toe around him in their banter. It's very telling. Very, very telling.

This isn't even getting into how Astarion is babified in other ways. Like how he's viewed as a child because he "died" at the tender age of forty. This grown ass man had an entire career as a judge which he spent using to target and be prejudice agians the Gurr.

Or we could discuss the adultification I see when people talk about Wyll's backstory when he was just 17. How he's expected to know better, and outwit the eons old demoness. How his intelligence is called into questioned, because he doesn't know demon politics or didn't waste time negotiating/fact checking Mizora for a better contract while the fate of his home rest in the balance.

[bitchyblondeminyard]

anyone else feel insane rage thinking about this btw. astarion could literally be removed from the game and it would change nothing about the story or plot ... im soo fine about this. im fine. (shaking)

[bitchyblondeminyard]

shadowheart: so what should we expect in vampire dens

astarion: vampires lol

shadowheart: awesome. you should be executed

[bitchyblondeminyard]

shadowheart: so what should we expect in vampire dens

astarion: vampires lol

shadowheart: awesome. you should be executed

[bitchyblondeminyard]

fandom will see a female character with the most interesting backstory and inner turmoil in the entire media and be like “…anyways. where’s the closest man we can pretend has the exact problems she has”

[bitchyblondeminyard]

"Lae'zel is so mean" she was raised in an oppressive military cult ruled over by a tyrannical god-queen who views her people merely as cattle and purges the weak, often at the hands of her subjects like Lae'zel and tells them it's for the good of the race because compassion, free thinking, diplomacy, and generally not being an unquestioning murder drone is viewed as weakness and will get you murdered or else hunted by your own people. She is scared shitless that she is about to suffer the most horrific and dishonorable death her people know, and only comes to realize everything she has ever known to be true is not only false but deliberately constructed to feed souls to her queen so that she may live forever, and then that same queen personally orders her death at the hands of her own people.

So yeah I think she deserves to be a little grumpy

[bitchyblondeminyard]

Shadowzel shippers being God's toughest soldiers by combing through 1 million poorly tagged Astarion-centric fics for their girls.

[bitchyblondeminyard]

REDDIT DUDES ARE MAD ABOUT KARLACH TOPPING THEM

[bitchyblondeminyard]

The backlash to the astarion writer stating the very obvious fact that ascended astarion is a bad ending for him was soooo funny bc my main criticism of astarion’s storyline is that it has no subtlety at all. Like I don’t need astarion to say the words “cycle of violence” to me to get it sjsjsj tone it down a bit. And yet there were so many people who somehow did not grasp this blindingly obvious point

[bitchyblondeminyard]

shadowheart: so what should we expect in vampire dens

astarion: vampires lol

shadowheart: awesome. you should be executed

[bitchyblondeminyard]

“the problem is its never gonna be what all the fans want” imo the problem is the majority of fans have bad fucking taste like. if you write a story with the intent to keep editing it in line with what fans want you’re gonna end up with a shitty story. obviously you can take in criticism from early access but once you publish the thing you shouldn’t constantly be retconning characterization wtf. good god

[bitchyblondeminyard]

as much as i love corruption arcs, there's just something so sexy about a character that can't be corrupted, to the point that he un-corrupts you instead

[bitchyblondeminyard]

idk how to word this but bg3 fans have convinced themselves that astarion is some dark suave devoted romantic with surprising humor. the people yearn for minthara but settle for a man.

[bitchyblondeminyard]

Oh I am VERY feral about her.

You all disgust me

Why is the cunty little Anne Rice vampire everybody's favorite when there's a funny one-horned tiefling with big muscles and a bigger smile and she is full of love and compassion and curse words and she is also touch starved because she's too hot to touch and she just wants a hug

Why the fuck are none of you FERAL about Karlach