bitches-of-east-wick

[bitches-of-east-wick]

Please do not tell neurodivergent children that they are aliens. It is weird that I have to say this.

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i put anything in there

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(struggling to alert a room full of teenage astronauts without them laughing at me (i was brought on yesterday and do not have their trust yet)) …comrades there is a… double agent… within… our ranks… and we believe he is hiding in the… air conditioning system ……… if you notice anyone acting ss….sstrange (nice save)… like they are… pretending… to do…. chores…….. please do not hesistate to call an … urgent assembly. be aware that if you are this… impersonator… we will not wait to… eliminate you into space

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just heard the austin powers theme playing faintly somewhere in the house, I’m the only one here

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I love seeing posts where someone says something that clearly sets up a joke and then has very obviously messaged their friend to question it in a reblog so they deliver the punchline with maximum impact. Haven't seen that in a while

[bitches-of-east-wick]

tumblr comedy I haven’t seen in a while and I kind of miss: when someone says like ‘smoothies are great’ and then someone else says ‘juices are great too!’ and the first person says ‘make your own post’ and then the second person says ‘okay’ and then you scroll down and theres a second post.

[bitches-of-east-wick]

i dont think i posted these but here i made a little frog pattern to make tiny frog toys with my grandma

this is the first lil guy I made while still learning how i should sew it

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cover letter:

as a highly skilled dirt licker with 5 years experience i would really really really really really really really really really really really really like to join your team of municipal dirt lickers and believe i would be a valuable addition as an "(URGENT PLEASE APPLY) Entry Level Dirt Licker/Sucker I/II Alameda County, no experience required! We'll train you!"

response:

someone else soery

Very Truly Yours,

Lunt Mungus

Alameda County Director of Dirt

If you do not want to receive emails please click on the following : Unsubscribe from Emails

[bitches-of-east-wick]

what purer joy exists in this wicked world, than to wake an animal by placing a treat before their nose…? surely there is none

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i am SO kind to my mutuals. sometimes i don’t block them even though they put those men from supernatural on my dash

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your friend brett in 2003: “hey guys! ready for a deathmatch round in blood gulch?”

you and your two other friends who found a glowing crystal in the back of your house that gave you a prophetic glimpse into the future where the three of you live successful lives but only if brett dies following a series of finely-connected events that begin with him winning a round of deathmatch on blood gulch: “yeah brett you’re on”

[bitches-of-east-wick]

Fear is the mind killer, practical research skills are the fear killer

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I drink poison just because it doesnt hurt me and it makes you so mad

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we need more books about queer ppl who are violent and unhinged