bisexualtrashpanda

[bisexualtrashpanda]

they need to find the optimal cuddling position for maximizing skin contact without discomfort

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I look at ppl who are "anti medication" the same way i look at anti vaxxers tbh.

[bisexualtrashpanda]

what a clown

[bisexualtrashpanda]

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

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[bisexualtrashpanda]

I was thinking about the whole “Humans are space orcs thing” and I got an idea.

Imagine than in far future, humans are part of some king of intergalactic union with other species, but other species only became advanced enough for space travel after they kind of “outgrown” the “animal part” of their brain. You know they became these highly intelligent very rational beings. And they put their effort to creating better tech after that.

While humans got to the same level just by their sheer stubbornness (you know, our need to figure out if we could and not if we should). Like we just kept going and somehow got to the same level as these other beings.

Humans would be the only intergalactic species that can go insane very easily, that is at war with other people of their own species, Earth is the only “advanced planet” where irrational violent crimes still happen, where people are able to hurt eachother over the smallest things.

So (from the aliens POV) you would have this odd little fella, who’s as intelligent as you are but the second he doesn’t get good sleep all of his intelligence seemingly disappears and he looks like he’s ready to shoot everyone on the space ship and then himself.

But it would probably also mean that humans have the best art. Because they still have their impulses and deep desires that don’t make sense. Since art can’t be made completely rationally. (Or at least great art imo, you still need the emotions in that to make it stand out.)

So I imagine this alien on a mission with their human copilot and the alien is constantly asking the human to connect his fkin Spotify to the space ship speakers cos they really want to listen to fkin Rasputin from Boney M.

[bisexualtrashpanda]

Humans are average at everything

And that makes other species crazy

"You swim well for your limb configuration but you will never be as fast in water as a Majoriranji."

Mo agreed with a nod. "They have fins, it's an unfair contest really."

"Nacbaqurs climb cliffs better than humans."

"Longer limbs, more fingers, that's no surprise. I know some elite climbers who could keep up but mostly ture enough."

"Chexits run much faster."

"Ah," Mo raised a finger. "They run on four legs, different configuration, unfair comparison. "

"My point is still valid. And you don't fly either."

"Mmm, no," Mo stopped to consider that one. "I don't think we have a winged ancestor. I have been sky diving, though, so I'm sure we missed out there."

"Sky diving? No, I have no wish to know. My question is this, why are you so feared? You cannot swim like a Majoriranji, or climb like a Nacbaqur, or run like a Chexit. Can you do anything special? Why should anyone be scared of humans?"

"Is that why you captured us? That's what you want to know?" Mo smiled as he leaned back in his chair. He had been afraid. Now he was amused.

He knew rescue was on the way. Just before the invaders managed to grab him and the other researchers, they were able to send a distress call. The Earth Alliance took attacks on their people seriously, they knew swift responses discouraged casual piracy.

"Okay, you'll probably be dead soon anyway so I'll give you a freebie. We're not the fastest swimmers, but most of us can swim and dive, and we can all hold our breath. We're not the fastest climbers, but our ancestors lived in trees, tall canopy plants, we can all climb. We're not the fastest runners, but we're not bad in a sprint, and we'll still be going hours after your fancy fast runners have collapsed and died of exhaustion. We don't have to be the best at one thing when we can be pretty good at just about everything."

[bisexualtrashpanda]

how non-writers think writing works: creating a detailed outline and plan, writing each section carefully and weaving in all the different story threads like a master creator, expertly creating a masterpiece with care and precision

how writing actually works: daydreaming that one scene, creating a half-formed plot in a daze all around it, swearing at characters that don't magic themselves into existence, becoming absolutely obsessed with the story for a solid week, it becomes your entire life, you sit down open a blank word document and write approximately two and a half chapters, lose interest, daydream an entirely new idea for a new story, rinse and repeat

[bisexualtrashpanda]

[bisexualtrashpanda]

What's so ironic about ZAKA -- the zionist disinformation movement that spread the Hamas mass rape, and the 40 babies beheaded hoax -- is that the founder himself was a prolific pedophile sex offender, who killed himself after being exposed

[bisexualtrashpanda]

[bisexualtrashpanda]

So in addition to KOSA making a return (CALL YOUR CONGRESS PERSON AND TELL THEM TO VOTE AGAINST IT BTW!!!) the Senate has just introduced TWO internet censorship bills!

The Block Bad Electronic Art and Recording Distributors Act (Block BEARD Act)

And the equally ridiculous and ineffective Foreign Anti-Digital Piracy Act

Both of these acts seek to force Internet Service Providers to block access to foreign piracy websites. The Electronic Frontier Foundation has said this is ridiculous and ineffective, that site-blocking bills only serve to censor the internet and make it more unsafe for everyone. AND THE'YRE RIGHT!!!

Piracy has existed until the dawn of time. And pirates will find ways around bills like these with no issue. But these bills are still dangerous and essentially pave the way for your ISP to block whatever our government thinks is "Objectionable". These DINOSAURS who dont understand the internet have no BUSINESS creating legislation around it. This is a bald faced attempt to block the internet for users for corporate gain. Wanna know how I know that?

The people that have endorsed the bill

Are all

People

Who

Would benefit from a bill like this. CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES!! TELL THEM YOU DO NOT SUPPORT EITHER OF THESE BILLS! OR KOSA WHILE YOURE AT IT! TELL THEM YOU OPPOSE INTERNET CENSORSHIP IN ALL FORMS!

We will not sit idly by while these GHOULS try and block and censor a free Internet!

CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES! - Here's a link to find and call your representatives!

[bisexualtrashpanda]

"unlikable protagonist" and it's just a woman who's a regular human being with flaws

[bisexualtrashpanda]

I don't know why, but I like the idea of humans being to aliens, what cats are to humans...

Alien1: hey, when did you hire a human?

Alien 2: we didn't. They just wandered aboard one day, saying they wanted to "hitch a ride." Then they never left. I think they like it here.

Alien 1: the human distribution system has chosen.

***

Alien stares at the human, who has climbed up a very high shelving unit.

Alien: Human, get down before you hurt yourself.

The humans response is to climb higher.

***

Alien is secretly filming their human, who is spaced out and just staring at nothing.

Alien (whispering): I think the human is about to intercept the brain cell. (Laughter) don't worry human, if it tingles that means it's working.

[bisexualtrashpanda]

"I did it for you" has gotta be my favorite form of betrayal. You gave me a gift I never asked for, and now I have to look around at the world you destroyed with the knowledge that it was gift wrapped and addressed to me.

[bisexualtrashpanda]

So, something I learnt the other day. So, you know how dinosaurs supposedly can't see you if you stand still? Well that myth is based on real-life lizards/etc and how eyes in general work. So, once my dad starts infodumping, here comes some other cool information. We, humans, can in fact, also not see something unless it's moving. We fixed this by having our eyes constantly shake. And then our brain compensates for us, so we don't have to have shaky vision.

What if aliens don't have this? Like. What if they find out when one of us was looking at something in the distance, and they walk around this thing that's in front of them, and the alien is confused so they bob their head and oh, there's a thing there, but how did the human know that, and then we explain and they're like, horrified.

Humans are apex predators. They can hunt in packs. They can hunt in pairs. They can hunt on their own. They're persistance predators, which is unheard of. They get stronger when they're mad or scared. They have this thing called 'body language' which acts like a type of hivemind, even if they'll claim it isn't. And. They can see you. When you're not moving. They can still see you. If you ever find yourself in a fight against a human, for whatever reason? Run. Run as fast as you can. And hope, pray if you have a religion, that they won't follow.

[bisexualtrashpanda]

So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry. So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful. She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal. He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet... "Oh you have a dick?" "... yeah." He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says "Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"

And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride. My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can please my girl but I'll show them!"