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LOCATION: benjee's place

FOR: @rosettafleur

He was wearing giant sunglasses when he opened the door, pink and heart shaped, of course, grinning from ear to ear. He was glad she'd agreed to come over. Life had been... confusing lately, his feelings about the past, about his existence, and... her, though he had accidentally pushed Rosetta aside momentarily. He felt bad for that. He didn't mean to stop reaching out as much, he had just felt overwhelmed, and he didn't know how to deal with it. "I'm painting the living room pink," he informed her. It had been started, but it was currently a bit of a mess. "But I can't decide on a couch. Or pictures, or a rug... do you want cupcakes?"

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He hated this — there was very little that Benjee hated, but he hated this with every fiber of his being, knowing that not only was Riley crying, she was crying because of him. He hated imagining her sitting in her room alone, waiting for him to come home. It didn't matter that he hadn't meant to leave them behind, or at least that he didn't remember doing it, it mattered that he had. He held onto her as tightly as he could without worry that he was going to shatter their ribcage. He hated that they were so sad, that they had been hurt for so long. But he was here now. And while he had... no idea how to stop himself from vanishing again, he would do whatever he could to be present in their life. Even if Riley tried to push him away again, he would not let her.

"It's okay," he promised, a ghost of a smile on his lips as they held his face in their hands. Benjee was happy, overall. He liked his home, he liked his job, he loved the people he was surrounded by. Everything about this little town others complained about. He was happy, and maybe that was what mattered the most. Maybe it was no different, leading a life that seemed like it could disappear in the blink of an eye, gone at any moment. People died, didn't they? That wasn't anything new. Maybe it didn't matter too much. He was here now. He was here now.

"It's okay, Riley. If we can't." He tried to force a bigger smile, but his eyes remained tearful. He was more worried about them, leaving them. It wasn't fair for him to do that again, to allow her to grow close just to abandon her. Even if he didn't mean to. Even if it was out of his control. It wasn't fair. "We can make new memories."

it was overwhelming — a decades worth of misunderstanding that led to an eruption of emotion riley couldn't contain if they tried. it was also exhausting, being so angry all the time... but when you were treated like your emotions were a burden due to what came from them your entire life ?? it was a hard thing to shake. it felt like muscle memory to get angry, natural to just absorb all the negativity and let it fester until she snapped, and riley didn't know what to do with all of it when it bubbled to the surface. it felt like like shaking a bottle of soda pop and opening the cap, then trying to close it again once the liquid began to spray everywhere.

riley burried their face in his neck, her chest heaving, every muscles pulsing with every fleck of emotion that made her feel like she didn't even have control over her own fingers or toes. benjee's warmth encompassed her, and suddenly she felt like a little kid again, practically melting into his hold and pouring all of her weight onto him. ❛ i didn't know where you had gone, ❜ riley wept, parroting the same thing she had been saying earlier, stressing how lost and confused she had been without him all those years. having to figure out so much of her life on her own. blaming benjee for it when it hadn't been his fault.

❛ it's not your fault, ❜ riley reassured, though her voice cracked, wanting to pull back from the embrace to look at him but not yet ready to let go, fearful that the moment she did he would vanish again. she took a few moments longer to pull it together, steadying their breaths, shaking their head at his apologies. ❛ all you've ever tried to do was help me, benjee, and... and i pushed you away. you never deserved that and... and i want to help you. ❜ riley slowly withdrew, placing her palms and either side of his cheeks, holding his face to look at hers. ❛ i want to help you get your memories back. our memories. ❜

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#me

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"Okay, but I got bored fifteen minutes ago," Benjee informed his friend, not answering his first question. Or even his second. He just wanted to hang out, he didn't enjoy being alone, especially after his conversation with Riley. He didn't want to dwell on thoughts about his entire existence. Where was the fun in that? "Maybe we could go get pancakes when you're free. Or something else! Anything! On me."

"h-holy fuck how do ya keep doing that?!" ant exclaims, immediately sitting up from where he was slouching when benji suddenly appeared right next to him, seemingly out of nowhere...he didn't know how someone who almost bounced wherever they went could pull that off so well but it half unsettled him and half earned his respect. "what is it? i'm not off for another fifteen?" @bingbcng

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He would respond, but Benjee was a little caught off guard by her taking his hand. Sometimes around Rosetta, things just felt... different, in a way he couldn't put his finger on. She was just warm, a very warm person. It was as close as he could get to an explanation. Around her, he felt real. "Okay, um," he spoke after a moment, his eyes pulled away from the hand she'd released to look back at the makeup, "how do you do your eyeshadow? It always looks really pretty."

"Listen, listen," Rosetta chuckled softly, taking one of his hands that wasn't currently holding one of her more expensive products. "You're overthinkin' it, dear. The first rule is there are no real rules. Everyone got their own lil' ways of doin' their makeup. Ya just gotta pick what feels right and makes ya comfortable." Squeezing the hand gently before letting go she quickly ties her hair back so none of it was in her face. "Just start experimentin' and go from there."

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"Really? But you're so cool," he frowned, his expression puzzled. He couldn't help but think her friends weren't very good friends if they didn't care about what she cared about... but he guessed his friends didn't care so much about candy, either. It didn't mean they didn't care about him, just because they weren't obsessed too. "I don't even know how half this stuff works. Do you have to use it all? Do you need setting spray? Can you use concealer without foundation?" This was... a little stressful.

"Aw, that's a real sweet thing for you to say," Rosetta said as she placed her makeup kit in front of him. "I enjoy your company plenty, Benjee. I've never really had anyone be this interested in my makeup and hobbies like this before...so I guess I'm bein' a lil' awkward about it." She clapped her hands together nervously. "But! But I'm gonna put all my faith into ya right now. I'm givin' ya full permission to just...look through what I got and use whatever ya want."

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He thought it was so sweet that she was willing to be his test subject, knowing full well he didn't have a clue what he was doing. It was endearing. Everything about Rosetta was endearing, though, he shouldn't be surprised. From her kind heart to her laugh to how pretty and talented she was, he just thought she was so... neat. "I don't think so," he replied with a shrug, looking around the room, taking in the sight of her decor. "As long as I have your company, I'm happy!"

Rosetta let out a little giggle before guiding him out of the shop and towards her apartment. "Is that all ya wanna learn? I can teach ya whatever ya want! I can share all my secrets and...and we could practice! I'm totally fine with ya practicin' on my face if ya want to...." She was rambling all the way back to her place and once they were at her place and situated she ran right to her makeup kit. It was her beloved prize, her lovely possession, and she was so glad to share it with Benjee. No one was more deserving. "Okay....Can I get ya a drink first? Or a snack?"

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Tommy Martinez Hunters — (S2E04)

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The answer didn't do much to soothe his fear, especially seeing as there was a very large chunk of time that he just couldn't account for, over a decade's worth, where Benjee seemed to just not exist at all. He had blamed it on his bad memory, but what if it was more than that? He opened his palm, letting the bracelet fall to the floor, mentally trying to silence all of those thoughts. It didn't matter, did it? He was here, he was here now — and he probably wasn't going to vanish within the next few seconds. And if he did... well, he wouldn't want this to be the last memory Riley had of him, him panicking over finding out he wasn't just a regular old human.

"No, you're not," Benjee promised before they could even get all of the words out. He shouldn't be visibly upset, he could give her the impression he was sad or angry that she had thought him up, and wasn't it an honor? To be made up purely out of love, the best friend someone could even think of? He felt his own chest swelling with guilt, having to choke back a sob when they embraced him.

"You're not a bad friend," he promised, his own arms intertwined behind her back. No, he was the one being the bad friend. They counted on him to make them feel better, less alone, and he'd done such a horrible job of that. Even if a lot of it was out of his control. It was out of her control, too. Squeezing them gently enough he wouldn't break a bone, but tightly enough she would know he meant it, Benjee poured all of his own emotions into a neat little bottle and capped it. None of that mattered, not while Riley was sad. "I'm sorry, Riley. I'm sorry."

he kept asking questions, and riley kept wanting to melt into a puddle and disappear. if she thought about it too much — she would. riley's breaths picked up speed, cradling their arms as they kept their back to him, panic enveloping her ribs as she realized what she had done. riley had told benjee he was imaginary ... something he hadn't remembered. it made sense she had questions but it didn't do anything to quell the ache that was resonating in her chest. ❛ i don't know, ❜ they replied honestly, voice hoarse, shaking their head. ❛ — i thought that was what happened when you disappeared the first time but...now, i don't know. evermore has fucked with my... whatever this is. magic, curse, i don't know. ❜ as angry and hurt as riley was right now, she didn't want benjee to disappear, she didn't want to lose the only friend she had ever had, even if he doesn't remember the little things. maybe all that mattered was that he remembered her.

guilty infiltrated her stomach and made it turn uncomfortably, nausea pulling the color from her tear-soaked cheeks. turning around, riley dropped her arms, swallowing tightly. ❛ i was just... i was so angry, and you were only trying to help. i told you to leave me alone and... you just left. disappeared. i never thought i'd see you again, benjee. i was so angry with you for so long because... i didn't know what else to feel. i still don't.❜ riley wiped at her eyes, her lower lip wobbling, and as benjee kept speaking the guilt and the anger and the sadness enveloped her all at once and pulled a sob from their throat. when he apologized again, the weight of his words sinking into her bones, the blonde lost it. unable to help themselves, riley moved across the room and practically threw themselves onto their knees in front of them, wrapping their arms so tightly around benjee's neck it was a wonder it didn't snap.

❛ no — i'm so sorry. i'm a horrible friend. i... i'm sorry benjee, i'm so so sorry. ❜

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He'd known, a part of him, all of him, really, had always known that his entire life revolved around Riley, making sure that she was safe and happy. But he didn't know the extent of it, he didn't know that was literally the reason he was created. He had just assumed he was like everyone else. And maybe it didn't matter either way, but this was a hard pill to swallow, especially since he couldn't remember it. Any of it. "Does that mean I could just... disappear?" He asked, though he realized they probably had no idea, either. The thought was a terrifying one, and he had the urge to pinch himself, to make sure he could actually feel his own skin, but he remained frozen in place. Almost afraid he'd blink himself out of existence.

After a moment of silence, taking their questions in, he tried to focus on the topic at hand. He could think about all of this later. He was supposed to be making her feel better. "I didn't leave you, Riley, I didn't. I wouldn't." His fist tightened around the bracelet in his hand, feeling the beads dig into the palm of his hand. He couldn't be sure of it, but he was. When he spoke again, his voice was barely above a whisper, his tone pleading, desperate. It sounded like they were giving up on him, like they didn't want to know him anymore, and Benjee didn't know how to handle that. Not while he was still reeling from this sudden information that he'd never had a family, a mother or a father, that he'd never had a real chance to be his own person. "Please don't say that. I know you, Riley. You're all I know, you're all I've ever known. I'm... I'm sorry."

they couldn't help themselves, more importantly, they couldn't stop themselves. the words were coming from riley's lips before she could make sense of them, pacing rapidly back and forth across the floor, clouds of steam swirling above her head from the way it was pouring out of her ears. riley stopped in their tracks when benjee finally spoke up, turning to face him with eyes narrowing. ❛ yeah benjee. the same way i make those weird ass animals, and dreamed up that gingerbread house, and the way storm clouds form above my head when i'm mad and STEAM, ❜ she pointed to the streams of it, ❛ — comes from my ears. i don't know why it happens, or how it happens, but almost everything i dream up... comes to life. i make things. i made you. i dreamed you up and POOF, there you were. ❜

riley didn't consider the kind of reaction benjee would have to this discovery, one she hadn't even realized he had been making in the first place, and the fact he didn't remember that was how he even came to be just made her entire mind want to explode. groaning in frustration and upset, riley buried her face in her hands, angry tears burning at her eyes. ❛ you really don't remember anything, do you ?? all of those years... my entire life... ❜ they hiccuped, their voice suddenly soft and meak, turning their back to him now, body deflating as she resisted the urge to curl up in a ball on the floor. ❛ we don't even know each other, benjee.... how could we when you don't even know who YOU are ?? ❜

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"I guess they do know what they're doing," Benjee agreed with a nod, brushing snow off of the front of his coat and watching it fall to the ground almost like fresh flakes.

"Maybe two!" He agreed. "I think I could go for a hot chocolate and an apple cider. But definitely a hot chocolate!"

Terence considered the mysterious ways of marketing, finally shaking his head in defeat.

"Well, I guess that's why some people are in charge of that kind of thing," he chuckled, patting their snowman down once again to really make sure the snow was packed in.

"Well, I'm looking forward to a warm drink once we're done here, huh?" Terence elbowed Benjee playfully, rubbing his hands together and blowing into them.

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Benjee didn't usually have to force his optimism, it came as naturally to him as breathing. He had his moments of sadness, especially when others were down and he let it bleed into his own feelings, but they usually lasted a handful of minutes before he was laughing over something again. Today was different, this last week had been different. It wasn't that he was sad. He was just... confused. Disappointed, maybe. A little frightened. He wasn't entirely sure.

"Well, that's 'cause you're too cool," he offered with a smile, his lack of enthusiasm clear in his tone. "Nothing important, really. I was just saying I thought there'd be more candy at a place called Wonderland... I think I misunderstood."

open starter location: wonderland

Dacia silenced yet another notification on her phone and rolled her eyes. Valentine's Day was always such an annoying time of the year. While she never really found herself committing to many relationships, that did not stop numerous situantionships from blowing up her phone around this time of year for attention. Not to mention her mail was filled with stupid valentines like she was a child. It was distracting and annoying and she had been trying to go out and have fun at a club she hardly went out to.

"Sorry about that," Dacia scoffed with an eye roll before turning her phone off all-together. She couldn't even feign entertainment anymore. "What were you like, saying? It's so hard to focus when people won't stop flooding your voicemail, y'know?"

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Benjee felt tears sting his eyes as she went on, but he didn't look at her so she wouldn't see, didn't want her to feel bad for being honest. They had every right to vent to him, even about him, that was his job. He didn't retort, feeling more like a kicked puppy for the time being than a person, though the sadness swelling in his chest seemed to halt momentarily when the statement slipped out. He would have probably burst into sobs when they mentioned growing up without him, if not for the shock of it, a sudden chill overcoming him. Eyes still glistening with tears that refused to fall, his gaze flickered across her face, trying to see through her. To make sense of words he couldn't understand. She couldn't bring herself to make another imaginary friend?

Maybe he shouldn't be surprised. Maybe it should've been a lightbulb moment, a click, an oh, duh instead of complete and utter dread. It was obvious that he wasn't like everyone else, and it seemed to go deeper than his memories. But did that mean... were they insinuating he wasn't real? He felt real. He should comfort her instead of ask questions, he should attempt to jog his memory about the night he'd supposedly left, to offer them whatever explanation he had instead of asking questions, but he couldn't stop himself. "Riley," he started, his tone nearly frantic, a sudden thought that he was unsure if he wanted to know the truth nagging at the back of his mind, "what does that... made me? What does that mean, Riley?"

it wasn't fair to say riley was being reasonable, because in a way, they weren't... but benjee had left them for ten years and couldn't even seem to conjure up even the lamest of excuses as to why. followed by the fact that he had been lying about remembering things. riley was quick to anger, she always had been, and while a guilty-conscience tugged on her heart strings with how wounded benjee looked... the rage flashing in her eyes was blinding, searing her to her core. ❛ — oh, really ?? nothing ?? am i supposed to believe you or is that another lie ?? ❜ riley fumed, their face burnt scarlet from the heat swelling inside of them, steam beginning to literally pour from her ears as her fingers flexed and folded at her sides. if she wasn't careful, the house would go up in flames from her anger alone. ❛ oh yeah, benjee, i'm sure that would be so nice for you, ❜ the blonde seethed, turning away from him, reaching up to fist the hair at her scalp — strands already strained from being tied in a knot atop her head. then, in another swell of upset, tears burning their eyes, riley spun around and lost it — something in his desire to know the past triggering her in a way she had never experienced before. ❛ you want to know who you were ?? you were my best friend !! i made you so that i wouldn't have to be alone in that fucking house my parents kept me in. you were supposed to be my person, but we had ONE argument and you abandoned me. for ten years, bing bong. i had to finish growing up without you, and i couldn't even bring myself to make another imaginary friend because it didn't feel right. i wanted it to be YOU by my side through everything, and now i finally find you, and you've been lying to me about remembering memories i thought we shared this entire time.❜ their words had gotten progressively more hoarse, sobs croaking between breaths as they turned around once more, body deflating in defeat. ❛ i wish i had the luxury of forgetting.❜

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Benjee didn't say anything at all for a moment, his mouth opening only to close again. He hadn't thought he was lying. Withholding truth, yes, and that wasn't okay, but... it was only because he didn't want to hurt her. Did that not make it better? Plucking a bead from the ground, he rolled it gently between his forefinger and thumb, his attention focused on it so he didn't have to look at them yet, didn't have to see the sad expression that he'd caused. Or angry. She sounded angry. "Nothing," he swore quickly, his eyes flickering to theirs before falling back to the bead. "I don't know. Maybe it would make you..." Happy? He stopped himself before the word came out. Happy seemed to be the furthest thing on their mind right now. "It would be nice, for me," he started again, his voice soft. "To know who I was."

❛ i don't believe you, ❜ riley snapped, unable to stop the words from leaving their mouth upon benjee saying he did, in fact, remember things. actually, in this moment, riley didn't think she'd be able to believe benjee if he could recount them word for word right now. something was up, something was up and he wasn't telling them. riley and benjee never kept things from each other and now it felt like that was all they did. she watched the emotions flash through his expression, the hurt that seemed to encompass his features, and she frowned even deeper upon seeing that. HE was hurt ?? they had been the ones recounting memories benjee was, now, confessing to supposedly have never remembered in the first place. ❛ gaps, ❜ riley repeated with a scoff, the anger flashing through them burning so hot that they had to stand up, throwing the bracelet they had been working a bit theatrically onto the floor and throwing their hands out. ❛ oh, you're going to find them ?? benjee, you LIED. you've been lying to me this entire time and pretending to remember when you DON'T. ❜ riley croaked, turning away from him, pressing the heels of her hands to her temples. ❛ god, i feel so fucking stupid. if you didn't remember things, why didn't you tell me ?? what else have you lied to me about ?? ❜ the blondes emotions came barreling through her so intensely she couldn't even keep up with them, hands shaking as she tried to stop herself from metaphorically, and literally, exploding. ❛ — there's no point in finding them. it's too late to find them. what would it change, anyways ?? ❜

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"Yes," he stated, honestly. He did remember. It wasn't much. But he remembered... some things. Most of it in pieces rather than a full memory; his mind seemed to be filled with moments that felt like a foggy dream, something he felt like he'd lived through, though he couldn't quite put his finger on it, couldn't grasp the mental imagery in it's complexity before it was tucked away to the very back of his mind, becoming harder and harder to pull up the more he tried. "Don't apologize. You don't have to be sorry." There was nothing they should be apologizing for. It was.. his fault that she was upset now. His fault that his memory failed them both. "You do know me," he insisted, eyebrows knitting together. Of course she knew him. He was her very best friend. Wasn't he? "It's just that... ever since waking up here, there are... gaps, you know, missing pieces that I can't fit together. But I'm trying, Riley. I'll get it." His promise fell short, seeing as he'd only failed so far, and it seemed to be entirely out of his control. But he had to, there was no other option. "I'll... I'll find them."

riley, deflating even more, sank deep against the couch she was leaning against and fiddled with the end of the friendship bracelet they had been working on. suddenly, stringing together an accessory that was supposed to represent everlasting friendship didn't appeal to them. ❛ it's fine, ❜ riley replied, though their tone implied it very much wasn't fine. swallowing, the blonde set down their bracelet, busying themselves in the silence that followed their statement by knotting their hair atop their head, taking out her frustration on the strands she yanked out of it to frame her face, loosening it so it didn't put any more pressure on her already aching skull. ❛ do you remember anything ?? ❜ they found themselves saying before they could stop it, not meaning to sound frustrated but starting to piece together that benjee just always seemed to be agreeing with them. never starting the conversations himself, more so just... following their lead. riley looked up, hurt in her expression, the idea of benjee being dishonest with her upsetting her stomach, making it twist with unease that made her feel queasy. ❛ i'm sorry i talk about the past so much but... i don't know what else to talk about. i haven't seen you in almost a decade and now it's like i don't even know you at all. which... which sucks, benjee. ❜

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Benjee waited patiently for her, busying himself with looking around at all the pretty flowers while she gathered her things and spoke to her coworkers, not wanting her to rush at all. He had the whole day off, he didn't mind standing around and waiting until she was ready to leave. She was worth waiting for.

When she popped back up again with a smile, the prettiest he'd ever seen, one spread across his own lips to match as he looked at her. "Ready when you are!"

Rosetta bit her lip as she looked back and forth between him and the work she probably had to do. No, no, it had to be fine. She was going to work a double tomorrow or come in on a day off. She wasn't even the only one there it was so fine and not even super busy. With her mind finally made up she looked at him and grinned. "Yep! Just leavin' now! I should go get my things..." And explain that a devilishly handsome man has captured all of her attention and thoughts to her co worker.

Easier to explain than she had expected and before she knew it she had her bag and was tripping over her heels getting back to Benjee. By the time she made herself known again she had composed herself, brushing her skirt down with another smile. She really just couldn't stop smiling around him. "Shall we?"

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"Maybe they think they'll make more money if it's rare, maybe," Benjee guessed, like everyone would make sure to buy it if it was limited time when they may pass by it if the product was year-round. Still, he assumed they'd make more sales if it wasn't seasonal just by the sheer amount of purchases.

"Oh well," he shrugged, "gives everyone something to look forward to, right?" Though he didn't seem to have trouble finding things to look forward to, personally...

One thing Terence loved about Benjee was his innate joy. Not that Terence was an unhappy person, but ever since Evermore, he'd felt... Adrift. His life as a dust-keeper had been full of purpose, but now he was trying to find purpose as a human, not a sparrowman.

He was pleased that Benjee was smiling.

"Yes, candy is pretty great. I believe that's what they call "seasonal" food. Seems like a silly concept to me, if people like it then why not make money on it all year 'round?" he agreed, shaking his head. Clumsy culture still baffled him sometimes.