bileliana

[bileliana]

My housemate's cat came into my room while my dictation was on...

[bileliana]

[bileliana]

i may not like what i do, but it must be done.  i cannot afford the luxury of ideals at a time like this. - if you don’t like what you do, that’s a pretty good sign you’re doing something bad.

[bileliana]

i'm glad my silly little storyteller leliana post is resounding with so many people but tbh only picking up on "leliana hides the warden" as the only parallel to varric isn't all there is.

like, she is a bit more subtle about it + lacks an entire game of her own narration/recounting events (though i would strongly argue Leliana's Song is just as apt), but she has her own variation of hero worship just like varric.

she loves stories, tales of heroes and the like, and unless you make a very specific choice, the warden fits that to a t. to her the warden really is something straight out of a storybook, and with no prompting will even actively flirt with an f!warden exceptionally early on.

(as a quick aside it's why I Understand in the Darkspawn Chronicles her and alistair get together, because he's the knight in shining armor, the leader, the hero, etcetc.)

to a romanced!warden the story she tells is one of a tragic love story that even death cannot end (obv allegorical to herself and her warden). one bit of her dialogue about the story is this (credit @gabs-magical-abs for transcription):

Leliana (about Alindra and her soldier): "This tale is one of my favourites. A tale of love so great and so enduring it defies death and moves the gods to action. Some times I ask myself, does such a love exist? Can it exist?" The Warden: "Few loves are so powerful." Leliana: "I think I would be lucky to experience an emotion even half as pure and true as Alindra's love."

and in a worldstate where the warden does the ultimate sacrifice, her slide for unhardened/softened/enlightened:

“Leliana remained in the royal court for a time, mourning. She poured her heart into a ballad that would eventually become known throughout Thedas. But after one performance, Leliana quietly vanished. Some say that the Maker came to her in a vision again that night. Smiling, tears in her eyes, she told a maid that she would see her love again at last.

which...is so tragically poetic for someone who told her warden story of alindra and her soldier, only to experience it herself.

and with Leliana's Song, directly from World of Thedas is this passage (credit @deadlymaelstrom for transcription):

" [...] Leliana would continue to tell stories of [herself, Tug, and Sketch], often embellishing the details, and admits rather freely that it is her way of reliving a happier time. Sketch, on the other hand, is rather less fond of Leliana taking liberties with the truth, as evidenced from his letters to her."

her focus on the "fantasy", sometimes at the expense of the real people involved including herself, really runs directly into varric's similar mindset, only varric tries to change the ending for the better while leliana is all about the story itself.

anyway i'll stop here bc this is getting long as is for a rambley mess. i know this veered more in the romance route but i think it really contains the biggest examples of the parallels with varric & i plan to do a much less messy write-up when i replay for better cohesive meta! :)

[bileliana]

Veiltober - day 22, Inquisition

Are you guys sick of my Inky yet, it's the third time she's made an appearance lol. But I love her so I'm putting her in as much as I can!!

Ty for the love on all my pieces guys, it's actually insane how kind yall have been up until now!!!

This piece should also now be available on my Redbubble on this LINK.

Prompts by @lynnerdo, as always <3

[bileliana]

Close Up 🤍

[bileliana]

my favorite divorced couple

[bileliana]

thinking about lyriumghost!leliana and mage!inquisitor making out and mage!inquisitor going like "why do you taste like lyrium"

i'll write this one day

[bileliana]

a set for each inquisition companion (and advisors) ⤔ Leliana

“Inquisitor, you should know that your spymaster is an incorrigible prankster.”

[bileliana]

the only correct way to ship morrigan/leliana or morrigan/f!warden is morrigan having the most intense one-sided attraction for the other but chalking it up to "This Is Just What Friendship? Is I Guess" in origins only to have her four years, eight months, and two days exactly to the letter sit up on a tuesday afternoon and go THAT WASN'T FRIENDSHIP.

[bileliana]

leliana's song // the truth is a cave, the oh hellos

[bileliana]

god okay i'm more normal now so i'm gonna ramble proper about leliana's deleted dialogue. i don't know if it's new to the fandom but it's new to ME

thoughts under the cut bc it got long. it's all over the place but i have so many feelings.

the biggest part to me is the entirely cut content with leliana and her knife she received from justinia when she was in the dungeon. this really sucks because based on the dialogue seen, it would of been so thematically perfect for her arc and made her personal quest better than just "find box". having to give up the knife "frees" her, just as receiving it did, and both of these were done by justinia. a bookend!

Leliana: Justinia gave me this the first time we met. It is a bard’s blade: Small, easily concealed, delicate, but deadly. Now she wants me to lock it away. Forever.

how she feels it about it tho is varied by if she's enlightened or steeled, with the steeled one specifically sticking out to me (and being so painful):

PC: The knife that fit in the box… Why does it mean so much to both you and Justinia? Leliana: When Justinia and I first met, I was locked in a dungeon cell. Justinia—she was Dorothea, then—gave me the knife and told me to free myself. I’ve kept it with me ever since. I suppose I’m carrying the debt I owe. Leliana: And now that debt is repaid and forgotten. Leliana: That knife saved my skin countless times, and it’s such a pretty thing.

my god there's so much here. leliana is very sentimental, with both gifts and memories, and specifically with her knife before this point. i mean, she literally has kept it for over a decade. but now being influenced towards that more ruthless part of her, it's a symbol of a "debt" owed, and now repaid. nothing more. (also drawing contrast to an earlier line she has in another dialogue tree).

17 - Investigate: How did you meet? PC: How did you and Justinia meet? Leliana: I met her a long time ago, before she became Divine, before she was Justinia. When I met her, she was Mother Dorothea. I was at my lowest: broken, lost. And she saved me. No, no, wait. (Laughs.) She hates it when I say that. I saved myself. She just showed me it was possible.

and of course i have to highlight "pretty thing" because it sucker punched me in the chest. the knife was nothing more than a pretty thing, useful but easily discarded when no longer needed. just like marjolaine's "pretty thing". she came full circle despite her fear of becoming marjolaine, slipping into someone, or something just like her. and here it is. christ. i want to eat glass.

for her enlightened reaction, it's similar to the one in-game but this also leads to a different but just as interesting piece of cut content.

PC: So does putting the knife in the box make you feel any different? Leliana: It is more complicated than that. Leliana: The box is a reminder to stay true to who I really am, before spymaster, Left Hand, or bard.

and this route leads to more about sister natalie. and it's another sucker punch to the chest. (i assume the two lines are steeled and enlightened respectively.)

PC: Tell me about Natalie. Leliana: She was a sister from the Grand Cathedral, one of Justinia’s most trusted. I always liked her. She reminded me of… myself. Leliana: I suppose an honest face will get you far in the Game, no? [steeled?] Leliana: Perhaps one day we could be friends again. What do you think? [enlightened?]

first admitting she reminded her of herself, which can very well be it's own post despite the small amount of screentime she gets. but i wanted to focus on the "we could be friends again" part. despite betrayal being a core part of...well everything about herself, a literal fundamental building block of her character, she even has this line about marjolaine, showing even now she is deeply affected still:

PC: Why do you say you were “broken”? Leliana: I was used and betrayed by someone dear to me. I was beaten an imprisoned, but flesh heals. It was the memory of the betrayal that nearly defeated me.

despite DESPITE this. she still has a hope, even small, they could be friends again. if she kills her, she said she called her sister once:

Leliana: And my poor, dear Natalie. I called her sister once, but I couldn’t risk leaving her alive. Don’t tell me to let it all go after all I’ve sacrificed to get here.

and she even knew of leliana's vision:

Natalie: “A barren branch.” Could that have something to do with your story about the rose, Leliana? Leliana: Ah, that must be it!

so, it must of been a good friendship, but even if it wasn't as deep, she herself says she has so few true friends left. and maybe that's enough to try to keep the ones who are still alive:

11 - General: I’m glad you care for Josephine. PC: Whatever happens, I’m glad to see Josephine has a concerned friend here. Leliana: (Sighs.) I have so few true friends these days. Those that are left I… deeply cherish.

and maybe, learning to forgive:

I think it’s likely. PC: I think you will be friends again. Friends forgive. Leliana: Let’s hope so.

this is literally undoing me at the seams, and i did want to point out one final bit of cut content (or well the last one i want to ramble about i could go on about literally every single line if i wanted) about justinia herself:

Who was Justinia, really? PC: A posthumous mission? Hidden messages? Justinia was more than just a cleric, wasn’t she. Leliana: Like many, Justina had a past. Even I know very little about it. She enjoyed keeping the mystery alive, I think. Some believe she was a bard in service of Dowager Marquise Mantillon. She may even have been the famed Lady of the Crimson Mantle. The Lady’s appearance at court often preceded someone’s political ruin. She was like a bad omen. And no one saw her face. She always wore a veil, they say. I don’t know if she was really Justinia. I suppose I’ll never know.

and it's a shame, like all this other cut content, it's not in the game. we learn little about justinia herself in the main series, and while it's not telling us a lot it does tell us even from leliana she kept secrets (parallel to marjolaine maybe.........).

the mantillon is an interesting mention because there's two, one in dai and the other one in tme. there's no real indication which it could be, but given the prominence of mantillon from tme and justinia and leliana's roles in the novel, i'd guess it was her. maybe it was to be in the novel more but it was cut from there too. also the "lady of the crimson mantle" brings up nothing on the wiki, so maybe some scrapped content or it's not on there or maybe a reference i'm missing.

either way, tragic leliana is left to speculate about her past, when...well justinia knew hers. their relationship makes me so unwell.

and i think i'll stop here but rest assured i was breaking down as i was breaking down the text. i love leliana so much and i'm grabbing all of this and shoving it into my own canon.

[bileliana]

Leliana Deleted Dialogue

Leliana Masterpost

—

Special: You must miss Justinia.

Leliana: She was a good friend, and it will take time to get used to her absence. But thank you for asking. It is appreciated.

—

Asking about how she met Justinia

Dialogue options:

Special: She saved you?

PC: Why do you say you were “broken”?

I was used and betrayed by someone dear to me. I was beaten an imprisoned, but flesh heals. It was the memory of the betrayal that nearly defeated me.

—

At Valence

Natalie: “A barren branch.” Could that have something to do with your story about the rose, Leliana?

Leliana: Ah, that must be it!

Natalie: “Light has no fear of darkness.” The eternal flame always stays lit.

Leliana: Very true. At night, the flame is the only light.

Natalie: “An open heart.” Hessarian killed the Blessed Andraste by piercing her through the heart. There is a painting here that depicts that.

Leliana: Yes, of course! I remember that painting.

—

Leliana: A lock. I know this shape. I know the key that fits here.

Natalie: The knife. The knife is the key?

Leliana: Yes, but the knife… Is also just a knife, and I keep it sharp.

—

PC: This hollow would fit your knife.

Leliana: Justinia gave me this the first time we met. It is a bard’s blade: Small, easily concealed, delicate, but deadly. Now she wants me to lock it away. Forever.

Dialogue options:

A symbolic gesture.

Why this elaborate setup?

It’s just a knife.

A symbolic gesture.

PC: And in turn you put away your past.

Why this elaborate setup?

PC: You know, she could’ve just sent a letter. This is all a little dramatic.

Leliana: It is a symbolic gesture. There is value in such things.

It’s just a knife.

PC: Lock the knife away or don’t. What does it matter?

Leliana: What matters is her intention.

—

After Valence

Scout: Your friend, Natalie, is urging the grand cleric to ally with the Inquisition.

Leliana: It hasn’t worked, has it? A waste of time. I want them out of my way. Now.

—

PC: So does putting the knife in the box make you feel any different?

Leliana: It is more complicated than that.

Leliana: The box is a reminder to stay true to who I really am, before spymaster, Left Hand, or bard.

—

PC: The knife that fit in the box… Why does it mean so much to both you and Justinia?

Leliana: When Justinia and I first met, I was locked in a dungeon cell. Justinia—she was Dorothea, then—gave me the knife and told me to free myself. I’ve kept it with me ever since. I suppose I’m carrying the debt I owe.

Leliana: And now that debt is repaid and forgotten.

Leliana: That knife saved my skin countless times, and it’s such a pretty thing.

—

Special: Let's talk about Valence

PC: I wanted to talk to you about what happened in Valence.

Leliana: Of course.

Leliana: Why? It was just a foolish game.

PC: Please humor me.

Leliana: If you wish.

Dialogue options:

Who was Justinia, really?

Who was Natalie?

Who was Justinia, really?

PC: A posthumous mission? Hidden messages? Justinia was more than just a cleric, wasn’t she.

Leliana: Like many, Justina had a past. Even I know very little about it. She enjoyed keeping the mystery alive, I think. Some believe she was a bard in service of Dowager Marquise Mantillon. She nay even have been the fames Lady of the Crimson Mantle. The Lady’s appearance at court often preceded someone’s political ruin. She was like a bad omen. And no one saw her face. She always wore a veil, they say. I don’t know if she was really Justinia. I suppose I’ll never know.

Who was Natalie?

PC: Tell me about Natalie.

Leliana: She was a sister from the Grand Cathedral, one of Justinia’s most trusted. I always liked her. She reminded me of… myself.

Leliana: I suppose an honest face will get you far in the Game, no?

Leliana: Perhaps one day we could be friends again. What do you think?

Dialogue options:

I think it’s likely.

It’s not up to me.

Don’t hold your breath.

I think it’s likely. PC: I think you will be friends again. Friends forgive. Leliana: Let’s hope so. ㅤㅤ ㅤ It’s not up to me. PC: I think this is something you should be asking Natalie. Leliana: Perhaps I will. ㅤㅤ ㅤ Don’t hold your breath. PC: I wouldn’t hold out much hope. Leliana: Yes, you’re probably right.

[bileliana]

[bileliana]

every time i hit that sweet new post button a little wheel goes off in my brain and lands on either "in-depth reading of the text and interpreting how it applies" or "first thought that pops into my brain".

[bileliana]

Inquisitor Orlesians-Can-Burn-In-A-Ditch-For-All-I-Care Lavellan. + Josephine, Leliana, some noble / Dragon Age Inquisition (c) Bioware

[bileliana]

"came back wrong" you could not come back wrong even if you tried. you've changed, beyond recognition, but while my eyes may not know you, my heart still does. i love you.