bigjam167

[bigjam167]

cat cafe but instead of cats they have autistic trans catgirls to cuddle with

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“oh I’m too old for stuffed animals” skill issue. sorry you can’t appreciate little creatures made to hang out with you, I on the other hand am full of joyous whimsy and therefore vastly superior.

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[bigjam167]

video game abstractions are something else. i'm leveling Culinarian in FFXIV and i hit level 56. "hold on," i say to nobody in particular, and put my frying pan (hot, wet with freshly cooked sauce) back on my hip. "before I make any more hollandaise sauce, i need a better knife." there in my pocket, it awaits: a knife whose titanium edge is so keen that only a level 56 Culinarian can so much as grasp it. so i do that. and now i have no need for my old knife; it has served me well, but it physically cannot be used by any other. it is inextricably bound to my soul. i cooked with it before, you see. one cook per knife only. so i take it into my hands one last time and disintegrate it into various magical crystals. the concentrated fire essence extracted from within can be used to make more hollandaise sauce

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if any of you are thinking about becoming nonbinary please at least consider naming yourself beer like imagine how sickening it would be if you met someone at a party and theyre like hi im beer :)

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THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE HUH!?

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hey don't cry. 7,401 species of frog in the world, ok?

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[bigjam167]

>wine enjoyers be like 'this one is so very dry'

>taste it

>it's wet

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illus. Yuka Morii "Slowbro" from FireRed & LeafGreen

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The good Lord gave me a mouth so I could suck cocks and speak falsehoods and it is not my place to question His plans