bigetakesontheworld

[bigetakesontheworld]

I was pretty slow moving in the morning, but after a cold shower and some breakfast I managed to find Bridget at a hidden gem of a cafe. They had amazing coffee and the vibes were very chill. We headed to the beach around midday, meeting Anna and Dom there. We had a very relaxing day, and although the water was rough it was warm and clean. I lost my sunglasses in the waves within about a minute, but thankfully there were plenty of vendors walking up and down the beach selling whatever they could carry. I fell asleep in the sun reading my book, and as we walked back to find a taxi a few hours later I was already starting to go a bright shade of pink despite my three layers of sunscreen. Bridget took me to a wine bar she had discovered the last time she was in Hoi An, and we enjoyed a charcuterie spread with a selection of cheeses on the side while watching the afternoon traffic. I could have stayed the whole night sipping excellent wines and nibbling away, but we called it after two glasses each to change venues so Bridget could get her footy fix. Imagine, in the middle of Hoi An, tucked into a side street, a dirty bar with high stools and benches, lined with flat screens. The front half playing AFL, the back half playing Rugby League. The only non Aussies in there were the bar staff, and the place was packed. Even though it was finals it was a pretty shit game, but the atmosphere was good and the drinks were cheap, so we stayed until the game was nearly over and it was definitely clear West Coast was not coming back from the smashing GWS was delivering. We went to visit my friend Anna Banana, who was making my shoes. They were ready to be collected and they looked fantastic. Bridget's flight didn't leave until midnight so we went back to the bar from the night before to have a last marg (or two) before she left. Here we ran into Dick again and his girlfriend Lisa. Lisa was lovely, and Dick was a lot more sober and actually pretty good to chat to. They left after a while and we ordered another drink, which in my excitement managed to spill half of down my front. The power went out, and we finished our drinks by candlelight before heading home. After Bridget left I stayed up for another hour or so chatting to Minh and Thuy before calling it a night.

[bigetakesontheworld]

Bridget had called me during the night to say her flight to Hoi An had been cancelled. There was a typhoon warning for the area so it made sense at the time, however when I woke up in the morning the sun was shining and the sky was clear. I told Bridget to see if she could go into the company office and do anything about it, and she said she would call me back. Expecting the weather to change by midday I ventured out to do some shopping while I could, and contacted Anna and Dom to meet up for coffee afterwards. While perusing the shops Bridget, informing me she had been "Vietnamesed" and they sent her the cancellation email by mistake, the flight went while she was at home in bed, and she had organised another flight in the afternoon. This warranted a celebratory margarita at lunch. Apparently the typhoon had moved on, so we had beautiful weather all afternoon as we shopped around for a place for Anna and Dom to get suits made. While they were getting fitted I found us some passionfruit juice, as it was insanely hot and I needed some sugar. It was their first introduction to the fruit, and they loved it despite the amount of added sugar. They had a few more things to do after we left the tailor, so we parted ways for a bit and I found a bar to sit and read my book. After a while Anna messaged me and they joined me for a quick cocktail before I went to meet Bridget, and we agreed to meet up for dinner later that night. We were meeting over the river, and while crossing the bridge, Bridget and I were approached by another Australian who introduced himself as Rich. He was living in town and working as a club promoter. It was his first day, he hated it, and asked us to help him claiming there was a free drink in it for us. We had time to spare so followed (we immediately started referring to him as Dick) to an entirely empty bar with terrible music. The cocktails tasted like cordial and the vibe was pretty shit, but it was super cheap and we had a decent chat with Dick about football before going to find dinner. We found dinner at a super cheap local restaurant just off the main street, and between the four of us had a great selection of food. Bridget and I parted ways with Anna and Dom, and finished our evening in our usual style, at a bar with cheap drinks and too many cigarettes.

[bigetakesontheworld]

Finding Melbourne style coffee is hard anywhere in the world, and with my last decent coffee being Cambodia I was keen to find my caffeine fix. I found it across from a huge cathedral in a small cafe with two young waitresses, who pulled up a chair to practice their English with me. They told mce the cathedral was shut at this time of day, and it was boring anyway so not to bother. They were both stunned by the way I drank coffee (double espresso, two blocks of ice, no sugar please and thank you) And slightly horrified when I asked for a second. "Too much coffee, too much make you sick" I assured them it was pretty much my standard breakfast, and this only confused them even more. They spoke to me about studying (both doing commerce, both hating it). Finally caffeinated enough to start moving again I headed to the Vietnamese women's museum. Each level looks at a different aspect of history. Clothing through the ages, working the rice fields, marriage and childbirth, and of course, the war. The Vietnamese refer to it as the American War. This level was actually really hard to see. Listening to the stories of girls as young as 14 fighting and being sent into the jungle alone was heartbreaking, and I was in tears before I finished. The rest of my day was fairly uneventful. I got a massage, walked around the city a little, and had a nap before going out for dinner, then called it an early night. Getting motivated on my last day in Hanoi was a struggle, but after finally pulling myself out of bed and having some breakfast I forced myself to walk to the Vietnamese fine art gallery. I'm glad I did, and spent over three hours exploring each floor thoroughly. I've always been interested by old motifs and temples, so the first floor held me for a good hour. There were Buddhas, elephants, dragons, and my favourite deity, Guanyin. Moving up through the levels it was like walking through time. The techniques were developed, new ones started to appear, and you could clearly see when they were influenced by the French, when the war happened, and when they started returning to more traditional methods. I spent as much time there as I could, basically until I was out of water and so hungry I felt sick. I found a dive bar playing some cruisey jazz tunes for lunch, and got a beer bigger than me head to go with it before heading black to the hotel and then out to the airport.

[bigetakesontheworld]

Waking to a knock on my cabin door, one of the staff informed me there was only 5 minutes left for breakfast. I downed 3 bottles of water and tried to force down a few bits of fruit in order to get my head straight. As I walked into the dining room my guide asked me how I was feeling, and before I could respond the bartender started laughing with an exclamation of "many beer! Many cocktail! Terrible karaoke!" Thankfully my Belgian drinking buddies weren't fairing any better, but had only booked one night on the boat and were moving on, so I had to suffer in solitude. The only others that had booked two nights on the boat were a lovely German couple about my age, and we bonded pretty well throughout the day. It was raining heavily in the morning, and we spent a hour or so exploring a pretty cool cave with some other tourists we picked up from another boat, a sweet Irish family and an overweight middle aged guy from Sydney, who revealed himself as a homophobic douchebag and followed me round like a bad smell. Ignoring him, I had a pretty dang good time with everyone else, even if my feet got really wet. We were offered another chance to go kayaking, but I forgot my bathers and seeing as my arms hurt from kayaking the day before, I had a nap. When I woke it was lunch time. We ate on the boat, and while douchebag complained about the amount of 'gays' in Sydney, I interrupted to tell Anna and Dominic to check out Mardi Gras if they had the chance, a super fun glitter filled night of fabulousness. Our next stop was the local pearl farm, and it was really interesting to see how they actually made cultured pearls and the process of insemination. There was also a really cute dog (highlight of my day). We headed back to our own boat for some afternoon 'relax' time before dinner with the new group. They were all couples, and mostly American. I spoke to two couples who had quit their jobs and been travelling since January. They were fairly interesting, and one of the couples were really inviting and lovely, while the other were a bit self concerned and seemed to not want to waste time talking to an amateur traveler such as myself, giving me only brief answers to my inquiries before turning to their fellow country folk once again. I was feeling a little disheartened at this stage, and quietly went to bed. The next morning started in much the same manner. I entered the dining room, sat down at an empty table by myself, the Americans looked at me, and chose a different table. I felt like I was in high school all over again. My new German friends entered, spotted me, and made a beeline for my table, making me feel a whole lot better about the situation. I think it's human nature to take a lot more notice of the bad than the the good, and the next few days I need to write about will be on the lonelier side, but that's why I keep this blog. To remember that the few shit people I've met, few bad days I've had, have been nothing compared to the majority. To remember the words of Monty Python and keep them in the forefront of my mind. We explored more caves, came back to the boat for lunch, cruised back to harbour, and caught the back bus to Hanoi. I offered Dominic the seat next to me for his extra bags, ultimately avoiding the situation I had on the way to Halong Bay three days earlier, and slept majority of the drive. I received a warm welcome back from my hotel in Hanoi, with a chorus of "Miss Elise! We missed you! How was everything! Did you have fun?". I chatted with them briefly before going upstairs and realising they also had upgraded me to yet another honeymoon suit. After a thorough shower I dropped my washing downstairs, went out for dinner by myself over looking the town, and headed back to watch cartoons and sleep in my ridiculously oversized bed.

[bigetakesontheworld]

I had planned to get up early and go for a walk. As usual I slept in. Thankfully I woke up with half an hour until the bus picked me up, so I at least managed to wolf down a sandwich and have a shower before packing my things and running out the door. Being one of the first pickup points the bus was nearly empty, but the guide asked me sit next to another solo traveler as we still had to pick up a lot more people. So I sat. With a four hour drive ahead of us I turned to the lady next to me and asked where she was from. "America. You're from Australia." Not a question. I tried again. "So are you by yourself too?" "I live here." Nothing else was offered. I tried a few more questions with the same flat response before the guide came past and she grabbed his attention. "Are there any spare seats?" He informed her there would not be. With a sigh and an eye roll fit to rival a teenage girl out with her parents, she turned back to the window. Taking the hint I put my headphones in and read my book, sorely hoping my entire cruise would not be full of people with the same excellent social skills. Safe to say it felt like a lot more hours, and then only other interaction I had with my friendly neighbour was when she told me to move, and I found out she was just doing a day tour and would not in fact be joining us on the boat, thank god. Once settled in our group met for lunch, and I parked myself on a table with two friend travelling from Belgium, who thankfully were incredibly friendly, and had the same opinion of our first activity (hiking) as myself. That it's shit. So we stayed behind, drank beers, and got to know each other. I also made friends with Dick, a Brisbanite travelling with his new partner, and dairy farmer by trade. We went kayaking and swimming with the rest of the group later in the day, and everyone was really lovely, obliterating any residual anxiety I had from the bus ride. The evening was one to remember, coupled with the fact I had accidentally booked the honeymoon suit so the staff assumed I had been abandoned or left at the alter, ensuring they gave me a ridiculous amount of attention and checked on me hourly. We drank, sang karaoke, Kooba caught a squid and I managed to get a photo before we quickly put it back in the hope that it would survive. I finished my last beer at around 2am on my private sundeck, looking up at the stars and appreciating the quiet lull of the ship after the group of crazy Dutch med students had finally let go of the karaoke machine.

[bigetakesontheworld]

Waking fresh on my final day in Ho Chi Minh, with only a mildly sore buttocks, I met Bridget for an early breakfast at a French style cafe overlooking a park in the main tourist hotspot. We shared an enormous French bread basket on top of our individual meals, and spent the better part of the morning chatting, eating and laughing like hyenas. I needed to get cash out and my phone was going flat, so when my card was declined by two ATMs in a row, I'll admit I started to panic. Ringing my bank I managed to give all my details before it cut out. I had run out of call credit. I was hot, tired and cashless. With fingers crossed I tried the next ATM I stumbled across, and thank the gods it worked. Following a quick pit stop to collect my thoughts, I decided to explore the Ben Tranh markets, a hybrid of fresh food and produce, and fantastically tacky tourist souvenirs. I spent a good three hours here, buying teas and gifts bartering with the locals until it was time for a beer. Parking myself in the front of a cafe overlooking the markets, I had made the rookie error of making myself far too visible to the street. I was tired, and by about the 6th street vendor I had had enough, so I pretended to be deaf to some lady trying to sell me a phrase book. Mild success, but maybe blind would be better, or a classic "fuck off mate" Either way I avoided them. I headed back to my room to let my phone charge and read my book. At around 5 I decided to go get some pizza from a place with really good trip advisor reviews. It was 800m from me, and forgetting it was peak hour and across two double lane highways I ventured out. It took me 45 minutes to walk there, and when I finally got there the building was torn down. Devastated that all my efforts were in vain, I found a Korean BBQ restaurant to drown my sorrows in a bowl of loaded fries, and hang out until I was brave enough to walk back. It was a lot less busy by the time I returned, and after a quick shower I grabbed an uber to meet Bridget for dinner. We found a dumpling place through trip advisor, and despite the shabby interior the food was excellent. One more marg turned into four, and we parted ways drunk on both tequila and our own laughter.

[bigetakesontheworld]

Basically I spent my whole day in bed hungover and sweaty reading my book, but after the crazy Cambodian weekend I felt as if I deserved a rest day. I booked a Vespa tour of the Mekong Delta for the next morning, and my driver, Nhat, picked me up at 8am. Nhat took me to the company's cafe to meet the rest of the group, a mother daughter duo from south England, and another solo traveler from New York. The Vespa's were fairly comfortable, and I was surprised at how safe I actually felt sitting on the back, weaving through the hectic Vietnamese traffic. We left the city behind, and our first stop was local coffee shop where our guide showed us a map of where we were going, and explained a little about the locals. A lot of the farmers had swapped their rice paddies for shrimp farms, however a few years ago the export market took a dive after they found false shrimp meat being sold out of Vietnam (he didn't say what exactly was in it, but I'm guessing bugs of some description.) Despite this many of the farmers continued, as it would take over 6 years to clean the salt from the land return to growing rice crops. They're still the main source of shrimp within Vietnam, but now only 20% are exported internationally. From here we visited the local market, a thriving hub of fresh fruits, meats and seafood. There was a Vietnamese lady stroking a live prawn, and Damian got a few photos of her before she protested. The shrimp are typically transported live in a styrofoam box, with a small pump running of the bikes battery to keep the oxygen levels up and keep them cool. While I was photographing this something hit my arm. I looked up and the woman was in hysterical laughter. She had thrown a fish at me, about two inches long, and very much still alive. She then took my camera from my hands (still attached to the strap around my neck) and took a photo of a rather overweight local struggling to take his shirt off, laughing the entire time. At this point I joined in, she was nuts, but entertaining nonetheless. We stopped for brunch, and were supplied with a delicious selection of fresh prawns, scallops and clams. I'm not a massive fan of scallops, but the two ladies from England refuse to eat the clams (which were ahhhhhmazing! Lemongrass and ginger sauce, delish!) and Damian didn't eat seafood at all, so we sorted it out pretty evenly. I felt like I was really starting to get the hang of the Vespa thing, and my driver was happy to have a chat and point out landmarks while we scooted along. He was pretty cool despite having told me his favourite food was fresh frog with duck eggs. We fell behind the rest of the group, taking our time to relax and enjoy the scenery, and caught up at an incense factory where we learnt about how it's made, as well as a brief political chat where our guide revealed his personal opinion that "if everybody lived a combination of the values of Buddhism and a hippy, the world would have far less problems" I tend to agree with him. The beauty of a group this small was that we could go off topic, and spent probably half an hour talking about world issues, culture, travel and various government policies. It was interesting to hear everyone's opinion, which was thankfully unanimous about Trump and the situation in North Korea, if not on anything else. Next we stopped at a rice wine distillery, where they used methane from fermented pig and chicken shit to keep the ovens hot enough to make the alcohol. It tasted like vodka, and I later learned it was used to make B52. I made friends with the resident pig I named "wiggle" because he was so skittish. Moving on we had our final stop for the day, lunch at a beautiful stilted restaurant built over one of the canals. Morning glory, rice, beef noodles, and fried squid. We were all very grateful for the offer of cold beer on top. As we ate throngs of fish poked their heads above the water in the hope of scraps, doubling in number every time I turned to look. The tour was all round fun, informative and definitely something I would recommend for a day out. I got back to my room and was mildly disappointed I hadn't actually tanned, and was just covered in a relatively thick layer of sweat and dirt. After a thorough shower and some down time in the aircon, I walked to a small restaurant Su had recommended around the corner and had a lovely rice noodle pork something that tasted vaguely like peanuts before heading back for a relatively early night.

[bigetakesontheworld]

Good morning Vietnam! What a day, what a place. I grabbed my smokes and water bottle, and parked myself on the balcony in an attempt to come up with some sort of plan for my day. And write this blog, which definitely didn't happen after I was greeted by a full frontal view of the naked man on the balcony across from me. I've since discovered this is a daily ritual for him. And before you start wondering, the answer is no, it's not a pleasant viewing experience. I met Su at her cafe round the corner, and while waiting for Bridget we talked coffee. Her family grows, roasts and exports coffee beans, and she's a wizard when it comes to brewing Vietnamese style coffee. I showed her some basic latte art, and how to make a chai latte, and she showed me a classic Vietnamese drip coffee. Her cafe is super cute, seating around 30 people and featuring white brick walls, textured wood and pendant lights. Her staff are friendly and helpful, even if they don't speak a lot of English. Fully caffeinated we took an uber to a cafe called The Hungry Pig for breakfast. It was basically a sandwich bar built entirely around the concept of "bacon is life" and it did not disappoint. By the time we finished it was midday, so we headed to Bui Vien, the cities pub street, to organise a Vietnamese SIM card for me, and of course treat ourselves to another margarita. I also booked a Mekong delta tour for the next day, costing me $14AUD. It included heaps of sightseeing as well as lunch, so I was pretty stoked. After our margs we went a salon to get a full body massage. Bridget's friend had recommended them so we knew it was legit, and cost us $3AUD each for a full hour. Back on Bui Vien we had what was probably the most entertaining lunch I've ever experienced. Immediately after sitting down an old man with 3 fingers on each hand tried to sell us a massage by grabbing Bridget's shoulders. She was highly uncomfortable while I sat and laughed. Bridget went to find an ATM while I sat nursing a beer, and another salesman approached me selling lighters. I told I already had one, and so offered me marijuana instead. I politely declined, and he responded with "pills? Ecstasy? Is good shit" My lack of interest clearly disappointed him, and he moved on the next occupied table, again with no success. The poor guy occupying said table was under constant harassment from street vendors of every description, including one very adamant in polishing his shoes, which were canvas. Another tourist sat down, ordered herself a beer, and was approached by the drug dealer. She showed an interest, then said he was too expensive and it wasn't worth it. He decided to barter. He sat at her table and ordered himself some sort of cocktail that came in a giant coconut. After watching this hilarious debate for half an hour, they settled on a price, hugged it out, and the show was over. Bridget and I decided to part ways for a nap before meeting up for dinner. Catching my first solo uber into town, we met at a busy little Mexican restaurant with delicious food and some seriously eclectic staff. Again I was offered marijuana, this time by an older lady dressed in red who loved my hair. Again I politely declined. I don't think she found a buyer, because she came back an hour later as high as a kite to serenade me and try to braid my hair. Bridget insists in her entire year living in Ho Chi Minh she has never been approached by a drug dealer, and we put it down to the blue hair. Finishing our cocktail jug we decided on "one more marg", a sentence I was becoming far too comfortable with. We headed for Bui Vien, now absolutely pumping with tourists, locals, street performers and bands. Picking a pub at random, our "one more marg" of course turned into about 6, and we made friends with two groups of people we'll likely never see again. Realising the time and remembering I had booked a tour, I grabbed an uber back to my hotel. I'd left my water bottle at the pub, and was getting desperate. Hearing me hiccuping in the back seat, my driver produced a fresh icy cold bottle of h2o and passed it over. Bursting into grateful tears I thanked him profusely, telling him to keep the change from a 200,000 dong note when the fare was 35,000 (too many margs). Waking to my alarm at 7, I realised even if I made the tour I was going to be so sick it was easier to let my $14AUD go, and went back to bed.

[bigetakesontheworld]

We booked a cooking class through Lily's Secret Garden for our morning, so Chris, Lily's husband, picked us up in his tuk-tuk at 8:30, along with another young couple, expats travelling from Qatar. Chris took us to a "drive through" market. Kind of like a normal crowded local market, only you didn't have to get off your motorbike to go through. It was busy, pungent and dark. We watched coconut cream get made and picked out seasonal fruits and vegetables for class. Still slightly seedy and tired, Bridget misheard Chris explaining the difference between chicken and duck eggs, and asked "but how do they treat the dogs at the farm? Are they well looked after?" Realisation dawned only after I pointed out dogs do not in fact lay eggs. The other couple had a decent sense of humour, resulting in continuous banter throughout the rest of the class. The fresh spring rolls were amazing, although it turns out I like duck eggs even less than I like chicken eggs (or dog eggs, I can only imagine) and tapioca, that gelatinous ball shaped substance floating around in your oh so hip bubble tea, still freaks me out on the texture scale. We had a blast, and it was definitely money and time well spent. Returning to our hotel for the last time, we had one final nap followed by poolside margarita before flying back to Ho Chi Minh. Me being the highly organised human I'm known for being, had the address for my home stay saved in my emails. Except that I didn't. I had saved the address of the cafe my hosts also owned, and so following Su's instructions put my hand through the gap in the door, unlocked it, and walked straight into an old Vietnamese mans lounge room. He was quite polite and turns out we were only around the corner from the house, so we found our way in the end. Dropping our stuff we caught an uber to a nearby restaurant Bridget had been to a few months earlier. Turns out there are 2 restaurants called 5KU in that district. We were at the wrong one Nobody spoke English, the menu was completely in Vietnamese, and we were the only white people in sight. I thought the whole situation was hilarious. We asked for a salad with our mystery dishes, and our waitress in formed us "salad all gone" However she managed to come up with a tiny plate of cucumber and tomato slices, making me laugh even more, because Bridget doesn't eat tomato. The other dishes were surprisingly good, considering we had no idea what we ordered. We organised to meet up in the morning and parted ways to get some well earned Z's.

[bigetakesontheworld]

Well hello Cambodia. Home of the famous Ankhor Wat, fried bugs on a stick, and so many doggos. Starting at 4am, Bridget and I headed out to the temples to watch the sunrise, a breathtaking spectacle despite the cranky old British ladies trying to get the perfect shot and loudly protesting the amount of tourists. Rich orange and pink tones surrounded the structure, magnified by the glassy water on the lake below. Watching the world come to life amongst the throng of tourists one thing came to mind, the voice of Darryl Kerrigan, "How's the serenity?" Our driver Doran escorted us back to the hotel for breakfast in his little orange tuk-tuk before returning to the temples for further exploration. By this time the cheeky monkeys had come out to play, there were triple the tourists, and the sun was high in the sky, resulting in some epic burn lines for my pasty self. The temples were beautiful inside, featuring motifs telling stories of war and kings who lived 800 years in the past, with detailed elephants, horses, monkeys and so much more. Most of the original steps were still intact, and I'm in awe of how such a tiny people were able to manage the incredibly steep inclines, let alone haul bricks at least 2ft across up them to create these amazing structures. Ankhor Wat is enormous, with most guides suggesting multiple days to explore. We quickly learned that this was not only due to the sheer size of the complex, but also the unrelenting heat and humidity. After four hours and 8 bottles of water we were both feeling worse for wear, and so headed back to our hotel. After some seriously cold showers and a nanna nap with the aircon on high, we had lunch at a traditional Khmer restaurant in the city centre, followed by a stop at the gelato lab where they made a perfect ristretto coffee, making me one very happy tourist. With bloated bellies we parked ourselves next to the pool to enjoy happy hour before dinner. Turns out our hotel bar staff make a mean margarita. Bridget had booked dinner at a training restaurant call Marum. The service was excellent, and we sat in the lantern lit courtyard with a bottle of Pinot enjoying a range of beautiful tapas style dishes, followed by house made chocolate cake topped with ice cream and fresh passion fruit. We talked until there was no more wine, and we were the last people there. The night was still young, so we headed to Pub Street in search of further beverages. Aptly named, the street is packed with pubs, bars and restaurants. Crowded with tourists the packed street is a sensory overload. Bands were playing in the street while on either side music blared out from every pub. Neon lights flashed all around and bells were announcing winners of various drinks competitions in every direction. We settled on The Red Piano, a corner pub with cute little lounges looking out on to the street. Our "one more drink" turned into several margaritas, an extra packet of cigarettes, and an affogato for Bridget, an ice cream fiend if I ever saw one. Realising we didn't have enough cash for the bill, our friendly waitress informed us they didn't take plastic. It was after midnight, and seeing the look of panic on our faces the waitress took pity and offered to pay the difference in our bill, so long as we returned the next day to repay her. Shout out to her, the real MVP for the evening. We returned with her money first thing in the morning, and in fact doubled it for her troubles and good will.

[bigetakesontheworld]

Another early flight to start our last morning. Arriving at Kotu Kinabalu at 7am, we checked our bags into storage for the day, which is also the frozen fish market. Same thing right? After a desperate pit stop for caffeine and sugar (Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts) the airport bus took us into the city, where we explored the local markets and met some very cheeky children, who had some experience accepting bribes for photos. It's was a busy maze of stalls and people, and easy to forget reality was only a few meters away. The humidity seemed to double inside the markets making it incredibly hard to think straight, although maybe that's intentional so you forget how broke you are or that you don't really need another hand carved turtle figurine. Opting for a cooler environment, we sat for lunch before heading back to the airport. Parting ways with mum and dad once again, I headed back to Melbourne and reality.

[bigetakesontheworld]

Breakfast was pretty much what we expected. Not the worst thing I've ever eaten, but pretty gross. There were boiled eggs, some sort of mystery sausage, and deep fried banana. If you've heard my opinions on banana, you'll understand. We decided to watch the orangutans feed again, this time seeing a whole troop of maraquecs pass through. There were significantly more orangutans this time round. The are truely fascinating to watch, and I feel as if I could quite happily visit them again every day and never get tired of it. Outside the sanctuary there's a very friendly British man with a small desk offering orangutan adoptions. $200-$250 RM ($60-70AUD) supports your chosen orangutan for twelve months, helping to feed and care for them, as well as supporting ongoing research within the centre. By the mans reaction, this is a lot less frequent than we assumed, and he was almost in a state of shock when we said we would adopt three. It's such an important cause, so if you do care for these beautiful animals and wish to contribute, you can do so at www.orangutan-appeal.org.uk Stopping at the cafe for a cold drink and something a little more palatable, we surprised Jane with a stuffed baby orangutan of her very own as a prize for completing her challenges, (photobomb someone, get a selfie with a stranger, etc) set by mum and Chrissie at the start of the trip. She called it Peanut Alfredo Walker, PAW for short, and thus ensued an endless stream of photos/selfies featuring peanut. I also helped Jane create a blog for him, which you can follow here - peanutsbigadventure.tumblr.com As Jane and Rachel hadn't yet seen the sunbears, we decided to take another look, and boy was it worth it! They were much more active today, playing with each other and adventuring through the grass. We got some excellent photos and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. For our last night we headed back to civilisation. Our hotel in Sandakan was simple but nice, and the best shower I had had since we arrived. We explored the markets, and discovered the local shopping centre where the body shop, cosmetic stores, and the book shop were considerable cheaper than home. Safe to say our bags came back much heavier and our wallets significantly lighter. Dinner was at the hotel restaurant. It was Chinese, and fairly simple but tasty, and despite first impressions of grubby tablecloths and somewhat dirty surroundings, none of us got food poisoning. Jane completed her final challenge, to wear mums panda hat while ordering dinner, which had us in hysterics and the waitresses confused, if not slightly concerned.

[bigetakesontheworld]

It's Rachel's birthday! Our last morning in the jungle began with Jane's favourite sentence, "Birthday Selfie time! Everybody snuggle!" Our last adventure with the tour group was to the Gomantong Caves, inhabited by thousands of bats and one of the major sources of edible birds nests. The walk to the caves was a sight in itself, spotting red leaf monkeys, with their tiny red faces, pamelo trees, and some interesting looking bugs. We had been warned about the caves, yet no matter what mental preparation you go through you will never quite be ready. Even the tourists headed the other direction suggesting things like "don't breath, don't slip, don't look, you may survive" or simply wishing you luck worked as a minimal deterrent, with that forever present voice in the back of your head whispering "yeah, but they're exaggerating. It won't even be that bad". It was that bad. The smell hits you first. A suffocating burst of ammonia and chicken shit. The grip beneath your shoes starts slipping away as the bat feces underneath gets thicker the further you venture. Cockroaches and centipedes creep along the hand rails and you fear to look up incase a bat drops a deuce on your face. The immediate impression is not great, however the further in you go, the brighter things do get. The cave opens up into a beautiful rocky alcove, filled with plant life illuminated by the sunlight streaming in from above. You can almost forget about the smell at this point. We enjoyed the view for as long as humanly possible before gratefully making our way back to open air and hosing the centre meter thick black dontreallywanttoknowexactly off the bottom of our shoes. After dropping our excess travellers off at the airport, it was back to being the 6 of us, and JK, for the rest of the day. We luncheoned at the Sandakan English Tea House, across from Agnes Keith's house, an American writer best known for her biographical work concerning Borneo in World War II. We sat overlooking the ocean and city under a beautiful big old tree amongst manicured lawns. The food was probably the best we've had all trip, and Rachel thoroughly enjoyed her birthday feast. Well rested, we explored the city of Sandakan before saying goodbye to JK, starting with a Chinese mosque, then moving to the Sim Sim village (called such because some English guy a long time ago described it as "same same" and was highly misinterpreted).All the houses here are built over the water on stilts connected by a series of jettys. The section we visited was painted in vivid shades of yellows, blues, reds and greens, and the people were incredibly friendly, with one even inviting us inside to take a look. Walking back along the jetty, I spied 4 naughty looking boys (they weren't doing anything, they just had that look all naughty boys between 8-12 years old have. Slightly guilty, and trying not to laugh) holding a chicken. I asked if I could take their photo, with their chicken of course, and they were extremely flattered for about 5 seconds before realising how horribly embarrassed they were. I got the photo and left them in a state of awkward hushed whispers and fits of naughty boyish laughter. Heading back toward Sepilok and the Orangutan centre, we drove up to a beautiful looking resort. It had stunning gardens, the rooms looked big and fancy, and excitement rose throughout the group.... until dad realised we were in the wrong place. As the bus did a U-Turn we tried to stay positive, although couldn't hide the disappointment entirely. We pulled into another resort, older, scraggier, and seemingly abandoned, with a burnt out (as in had seemingly caught fire several hundred years ago and been then forgotten about) panel van in the front yard. Dads name was written amongst others on a whiteboard outside reception, which was empty and locked. The sign said after hours check in happened at the Banana Cafe, so we did another U-Turn and drove a little further down the road. Entering what appeared to be an abandoned old car yard, however signposted, our hopes were plummeting. A little Malaysian man then bundled us into a rusty mini van and drove us back to the previous destination whilst mum whimpered in the back seat, cracking Chrissie, Jane and Rachel into absolute hysterics. It wasn't as bad as it seemed from the outside, and the rooms were spacious and clean, despite ours smelling like rotten seaweed. Once we figured out it was coming from the pipes in the bathroom we shut the door and opened the window, which made it at least bearable. Turned out there were plenty of others staying there, and by the end of the night the restaurant was nearly full. I definitely wouldn't give the place 5 stars, but it wasn't the worst experience I've ever had.

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Our second morning in the jungle started at 5:30. After a quick caffeine hit we headed back to the boat for another river tour, this time bird spotting. I’m not exactly a big bird person but enjoyed it nonetheless. Our sleeping orangutan friend was still in his nest high above us, and we saw a few more monkeys along the way. Returning to the lodge for breakfast, I decided to use our time before the next event as wisely as I know how, and went back to sleep. We took a short boat ride before lunch to other side of the river, in order to walk through one of the local villages. The heat and humidity were nearly unbearable and what felt like 8kms was actually about 4. The children called out and waved from their classrooms as we passed, and we stopped at the local store for a cold drink along the way. Monkeys scattered as we passed their overtaken home, and they appeared to be having an excellent time collecting anything they could find from the (hopefully) abandoned house. We made our way back through the heat, and I got mildly sunburnt, and back to the lodge for lunch. Our afternoon venture was another river tour. This time through the more dense jungle, seeing a grey tailed racer snake, baby crocodile, and many more monkeys, including the proboscis with his very odd shaped nose, and on our way back to lodge we saw the elephants one more time. Feeding along the river bank behind the reeds, the photo opportunities were no where near what the were the day before, although still beautifully majestic. With the night tours cancelled for various reasons, we made our way back for dinner and a well deserved glass of wine.

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So I began my holiday in true Elise fashion. Disorganised, running late, and moderately hung over. Forgetting to take my camera out of my checked luggage I arrived in Kotu Kinabalu in a state of pure panic, to discover thankfully it had not been stolen, but the lense had been damaged. With my hopes of finding a camera shop in the middle of the jungle fairly slim, I managed to find a solution that made it seem like some sort of filter, as apposed to a broken lense. Night one was fairly uneventful. Dinner with mum and dad on the waterfront, introductions between myself and Rachel and Jane, travelling friends from New Zealand who are incredibly witty, hilarious ladies, and then back to the hotel to bunk down in a room with my China travel buddy, Chrissie, for a 4am start. Day one; intense. After a quick 6am flight to Sandakan we met our guide, Jacky (pronounced Jaykay), and headed straight to the orangutan sanctuary. We made our way through the jungle at a leisurely pace, and encountered our first furry friends after just a few minutes. The two playful primates, approximately 5-6 years old according to JK, were swinging from the trees in an affectionate embrace, well aware of the onlooking homosapiens and quite possibly intentionally showing off. Moving into the viewing platform for the outdoor nursery, the second stage of rehabilitation, we watched as the 2-4 year old orangutans fed, played, and generally made mischief for their carers. The whole experience was not as hands on as I had hoped, however understandable as this beautiful endangered species are prone to many bacteria and infections. Despite this, the animals do have free reign of the sanctuary after being released from the nurseries and the walkways are by no means enclosed, and so at the open feeding platform as I turned to tell the irritating woman that breathing down my neck was not enough of an invasion of privacy, she had to touch my behind as well, I realised the woman was gone and it was actually a cheeky primate who had brushed past me whilst making his way down the path. Throngs of tourists moved sideways to let him through, and he ambled away without a care in the world. After a few more orangutans helped themselves to the piles of fruit, a cheeky long tailed maraquec decided to join the party. Although only small, these monkeys are quite aggresive, and even the 100kg+ male moved away with extreme caution. We had an hour to ourselves before departing the sanctuary, so decided to take a quick look at the sunbears, also endangered and the smallest species of bear in the world. Making themselves at home high in the trees, they’re not so small, with adult males still reaching up to 60kgs. They do what most bears would do in 38 degree heat and 90% humidity. They sleep, and occasionally snack. Almost like an oversized black koala but slightly more active. We loaded ourselves back on the bus to make our way to our accomodation for the next two nights. A beautiful lodge in the middle of the jungle, two hours drive from the city and then only accessible by a 5 minute boat ride. It’s quaint, simple, and the perfect place to forgot about the real world. No wifi, no phone reception, and jungle as far as the eye can see. My idea of heaven. Plus the added thrill of accidentally leaving your shoes outside and the possibility of monkeys stealing them in the middle of the night. After settling into our lodgings and a simple yet delicious buffet lunch, I took full advantage of our short break and had a nap before setting out again. An hour and a half boat ride through the surrounding river systems ticked off a number of things on my bucket list. - seeing elephants in the wild - Seeing orangutans in the wild - Seeing a baby monkey (or 20) Borneo is home to approximately 1,500 Pygmy elephants. Less than half the size of the African elephant, but still probably twice my height, they’re a delight to watch. An entire herd consisting of adult males and females, as well as at least 4 babies, fed on what the locals refer to as ‘elephant grass’ along the river bank. Two wrestled amongst the long grass, while the babes looked to their mothers for inspiration on what to eat. They were breathtaking to say the least. Entire groups of maraquec monkeys could be seen throughout the treetops, with young ones practicing how to jump from one branch to the next, constantly aiming for further reaches and not always making their intended destination, recalculating at the last second to grab hold of a lower branch. The others spotted a baby crocodile, and although it was gone before I realised, I’m not exactly sad as they’re one of the few animals in this world that make me genuinely terrified. A large male orangutan had made himself a nest at the top of one of the trees, and we thankfully spotted him before he lay down to rest, invisible to the jungle below. The fact that these beautiful creatures can still exist in the wild gives me so much hope, as they not only share 93% of our DNA and are so important in learning about ourselves, but are such gentle beautiful creatures that this world would surely be at a loss without them. We had dinner at the lodge, with Jane pulling out the selfie stick to ensure she captured every moment and preempting each one with the exclamation of “selfie time! Everybody snuggle!” And a loud chorus of happy birthday directed at myself and Rachel. Tired to the point of nauseasness I decided to stay back for the rest of the night, while the others departed on a nighttime wildlife spotting cruise, dad with high hopes of seeing a clouded leopard, although promising he would go on the same cruise twice so I didn’t miss out

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