bigcandlesmolbrain

[bigcandlesmolbrain]

[bigcandlesmolbrain]

[bigcandlesmolbrain]

[bigcandlesmolbrain]

Omake:

Inspired by this tweet:

[bigcandlesmolbrain]

compilation of my favorites so far. this energy for 2025 please

[bigcandlesmolbrain]

MC: *live on Magicam* Y'know, since I'm away from home and I've got no family to celebrate the holidays-

MC: I decided to randomly visit my friends' houses to see if they would let me spend it with them- and they didn't disappoint.

MC: Say Hi, Mommy Leech!

The Leech's Twins' mother: *waves at the camera*

The comments:

Ace: Bruh, isn't it freezing there right now?

MC: I'm frost-resistant. ^^

Ace: Bitc-

Azul: They are heavily stocked with potions.

MC: @Azul Shh... 🤫

[bigcandlesmolbrain]

Riddle and Vil: ...

MC: *just staring at the Christmas tree*

Vil: Don't eat the tree.

MC: But-

Vil: Rook has prepared a special Christmas tree for you at Pomefiore, one that you can eat.

MC: Will that taste unique?

Riddle: Why would you ask that?

MC: I mean, if it's a tree, it should taste like a tree. Right?

Vil and Riddle: ...

Vil: A normal person should not know what a tree tastes like.

MC: Most are earthy. If you eat the juice, then it's chewy.

Vil: ...

Trey: Haha, we tried our best to give them edible food.

Cater: At least we managed to convince them to settle with some aloe vera leaves.

Ace: They're not eating it right.

MC: *eats it straight without peeling the skin*

MC: *coughs*

MC: *continues to bite on another*

Trey and Cater: ...

MC: *feeling nauseous*

Lilia: *sigh* What did you eat this time?

MC: Aloe vera...

Lilia: ...

MC: I think I'm allergic...

Lilia: ...

Lilia: Are you being serious right now?

[bigcandlesmolbrain]

Mr. Leech: You’ll consent to becoming my personal lawyer.

MC: No.

Mr. Leech: *pointing a gun at them* No?

MC: No.

Mr. Leech: You're stubborn.

MC: People always tell me that.

Ace: Bruh— Don't provoke him!

MC: I refuse to let anyone intimidate me in my own home.

Mr. Leech: ...

Mr. Leech: *puts the gun down*

Mr. Leech: Even if I treat you to my wife's home-cooked meals?

Ace: What the fu—

MC: *contemplating*

Ace: ...

Ace: You're not seriously considering that.

MC: ...

MC: I'll be your lawyer if you're the innocent party.

Mr. Leech: *chuckles* I can settle with that.

Ace: So you're actually easy to bribe.

MC: Huh. As if anyone knows how to make a good home-cooked meal.

Ace: Yeah, yeah. Sucks to be you.

MC: ...

MC: Hey, Ace.

Ace: Yeah?

MC: Can you buy me cigarettes?

Ace: Huh? Why? You're not smoking.

MC: *hands him a handful of money* Here. And also grab snacks while you're at it.

Ace: Bitch, you haven't paid your bills yet-

MC: *starts pushing him out of the house*

Ace: What the- Fine! Fine! I'll go! Tch! *grumbles as he walks out and shuts the door*

MC: ...

MC: *could hear the shuffling of feet from upstairs*

MC: *mumbles* They better not be touching my stuff.

MC: All that muscle and you just got your asses kicked?

The intruders: *groaning in pain*

MC: *sigh*

MC: *checks the drawers* Huh. What's this? Some kind of evidence to frame me? *pulls out a packet of powdered substance*

One of the intruders: We were forced to do it... The guy who visited you earlier-

MC: Don't fuck with me.

The intruders: Eek!

MC: You've got the nerve to lie to my face?

[bigcandlesmolbrain]

Ace: Is this why you asked me to buy you cigarettes? BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE BROKE INTO YOUR HOUSE?

Ace: You should've asked me to stay!

MC: You're clumsy as fuck. You'd just be in the way.

Ace: Have you seen me fight?!

MC: Yeah, and I saw the cops drag you to the police car.

Ace: ...

Ace: Tch. Anyway, what happened after? You didn't let them go, right?

MC: Of course not. But now I've gotten more work.

Ace: ...

Ace: You're going to investigate about this?

MC: Naturally.

Ace: ...

Mr. Leech: *chuckles* I see they tried to get you.

MC: *looking at the files*

MC: I don't think I'm a threat yet since the people they sent were amateurs.

MC: Hm?

Mr. Leech: Something piqued your interest?

MC: ...

MC: So, they're involved in human trafficking, huh?

Mr. Leech: *smiles* Want to take care of it?

Ace: What do you mean I shouldn't visit for a while?

MC: I'm handling a serious case.

Ace: And?

MC: *frowns*

Ace: What? You've been handling serious cases but you didn't stop me from hanging out!

MC: Would it kill you not seeing me for a month?

Ace: YES- I mean, No!

MC: ...

MC: *smirks* Okay, I promise I'll go on a date with you, you little shit, after I resolve this case.

Ace: Wha- WHO WOULD WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU?!

MC: Obviously you. Now leave. *then slams the door shut*

Ace: ...

Ace: I'M NOT EXPECTING FOR THAT! YOU HEAR ME!

[bigcandlesmolbrain]

Zagan: *carefully paints a talisman onto MC's chest, making sure it harmonizes with Asmodeus's symbol*

Zagan: ...

MC: ...

Ezrin: ...

Ezrin: Uncle Zagan? You do not feel attracted to Mom?

Zagan: ...

MC: Why are you asking that?

Ezrin: He doesn’t look like he cares that he’s painting on your chest, Mom.

MC: He's a devil of great beauty. To him, this is trivial. Isn't that right, Zagan?

Zagan: ...

Zagan: *subtly smiles*

WHB Satan: Huh? Your chest—

MC: Why are you looking?

WHB Satan: *pouts* I see that you got yourself a new talisman.

MC: Yes. Zagan helped me with this one.

WHB Satan: Zagan? Haha! It hasn't been long—

MC: We don't have that kind of relationship.

WHB Satan: Why not—

WHB Asmodeus: As expected of my beloved wife, your heart will never yield to anyone but me.

WHB Satan: Tch. You're here again?

WHB Asmodeus: What's with the sour mood? With my wife here, I have no choice but to visit often.

WHB Asmodeus: *about to approach her when a Gehenna devil guard calls out to her*

Gehenna devil guard: Miss MC! We need you!

MC: Alright.

WHB Satan: Hey! Are you not going to ask me to accompany you?

MC: There's no need.

WHB Asmodeus: How about me, love—

MC: *ignored him and left*

WHB Asmodeus: ...

Amy and his subordinates: ...

MC: What are you all staring at?

Amy: ...

Amy: Your clothes, Miss Ma'am!

MC: *sigh* Can I borrow your jacket, Amy?

Amy: Y-Yes! Of course! *runs over to drape it on her*

MC: ...

Amy: Y-You did so well, Miss Ma'am!

MC: *has gained the ability to weaken her target by overwhelming them with intense attraction or lust, leaving them vulnerable and disoriented*

MC: ...

MC: I feel annoyed.

Amy: Miss Ma'am?

MC: I'll wash this jacket and return it to you.

Amy: It's fine, Miss Ma'am! You don't have to!

The Gehenna devils: ...

WHB Asmodeus:* had been watching MC fight the angels; his face looks pleased with the outcome*

WHB Beelzebub: I don't think your wife likes her ability lol.

WHB Asmodeus: Hm?

WHB Beelzebub: Didn't you notice?

WHB Asmodeus: ...

WHB Asmodeus: *smiles* Oh, but it's still an advantage for her, even if she doesn't enjoy it.

[bigcandlesmolbrain]

Professor Trein: You're such a sweet child; you must have been surrounded by so much love from everyone around you.

Child MC: I don't know about that, professor.

Professor Trein: Hm? What do you mean?

Child MC: My dad says I’m bad luck. He says it’s my fault my mom died.

Professor Trein: ...

Professor Trein: How does that make you feel?

Child MC: Sad? But I can’t do anything about it. It’s just how it is.

Professor Trein: ...

Professor Crewel: Please, you're too old to have emotions.

Professor Trein: *crying*

Sam: ...

Sam: I think I'll pass on babysitting the little imp.

Professor Crewel: They're a sweet child.

Sam: I know, but I'm not ready to get trauma dumped.

[bigcandlesmolbrain]

Cater: I think MC has an admirer.

Lilia: ...

Lilia: Excuse me?

Cater: I mean, they're lowkey cute, y'know?

Cater: Sure, they've got a weird appetite, but that can still be charming for others.

Lilia: ...

Lilia: Who is it?

Cater: Silver.

Lilia: ...

Lilia: No. That's not possible.

MC: *their hands got spiked by the hedgehog, and they're still holding it*

Silver: ...

Silver: Are you okay?

MC: Would it hurt him if I try to pull my hand out of his spikes?

Silver: ...

Silver: Both of you will suffer from pain.

MC: ...

MC: Oh. *to the hedgehog* I'm sorry, little fella.

Silver: Were you trying to hunt him?

MC: No. Hedgehogs are protected species, right? Even if he looks good to eat—

The hedgehog: *makes soft, irritated noises*

Silver: Pft— *chuckles*

Silver: Let me help you. Father will be worried if he sees both of your hands bleeding.

MC: Okay! Thanks, Silv!

Silver: ...

Silver: *smiles* You're welcome.

[bigcandlesmolbrain]

Cater: Prefect-chan~ I just looked through your phone, and there’s not even one picture of me in your gallery… That’s so mean! Cay-cay’s heart is breaking here!

MC: ...

Trey: *chuckles*

Cater: Is there something funny?

Trey: Have you checked their atelier?

MC: Trey.

Trey: What? He’s always the subject of your paintings.

Cater: ...

Cater: Wait.

Cater: Prefect-chan—

MC: That's not true.

Cater: ...

Cater: Right. There's no way you would waste your time like that.

MC: *angry stare*

Trey: *laughs*

[bigcandlesmolbrain]

MC's boyfriend: I'm sorry... But I'm breaking up with you. You're a nice person—

MC: I know. And good luck with your future endeavors.

MC's (ex) boyfriend: Are you... Are you not even going to try to convince me?

MC: For what? It's been decided.

MC: You said so yourself, I'm a nice person.

Cater: *listening from the table next to them*

Cater: *hides his face behind the menu, shaking his head*

Cater: Poor guy.

MC: What?

Cater: He expected that you would try to work things out.

MC: Date him since you're good with that.

Cater: Hey! That's so mean! Don't you have sympathy?

MC: No.

Cater: ...

[bigcandlesmolbrain]

Rook: *stalking Leona again*

MC: ...

MC: What the fu-

Epel: Hey, what are you looking at?

MC: ...

Rook: *has sensed MC's stare from miles away, turns to look*

*The two made eye contact.*

MC: Shit- Epel, I have to go.

Epel: Huh? Where are you going?

MC: Somewhere I could hide.

Epel: *confused*

Rook: ...

Rook: *amused smirk* Oh?

*Later that day*

Rook: Cher ami~! *chasing MC*

MC: I am not your friend, bish!

Rook: But we're so much alike!

MC: No!

[bigcandlesmolbrain]

Floyd: *recorded MC's evil laughter after witnessing a well-deserved act of revenge, filled with bloodlust, from the movie they were watching and made Azul listen to it*

Azul: ...

Azul: What are you planning to do with that?

Floyd: This is gonna be my ringtone~.

Azul: ...

Azul: You've got to be kidding me.

Azul: *gives MC a judging stare*

MC: ...

MC: What?

Azul: Are you secretly aggressive?

MC: *raised an eyebrow*

[bigcandlesmolbrain]

Idia: ...

Idia: Why is Ramshackle full of cats?

MC: *shrugs*

Idia: ...

Idia: Hey, you think you can sleep in my room? You'll be fine in the corner.

MC: Why bother inviting me then?

Idia: Just need you for an experiment.

Idia: ...

MC: ...

MC: How did the cats get in?

Idia: ...

Idia: So, mind staying in my room for a week?

MC: No. I get bored easily.

Idia: I'll pay you.

MC: ...

MC: K.