bigbucksbailey

[bigbucksbailey]

Fanfic: Benny Bread Stick x reader (y/n)

CW: weird, butchered Italian, semi-naked men, potty language, I’ve written worse.

Summary: After a recent breakup you head to Olive Garden to drown your sorrows in some authentic Italian cuisine; only to find that the food WAS in fact made with love.

Chapter 1: Bready, Set, GO!

“Table for one please,” I say sadly to the hostess at the front of the Olive Garden. Today has been the worst. Day. EVER!!

First, I got broken up with by my boyfriend because of some stupid misunderstanding. Second, I get FIRED from my job because I said that the third Alvin and the chipmunks is better than the second.

And THIRD, I’m now eating at probably the worst food establishment in the area, a crummy Olive Garden in the back lot of a Lowe’s store.

The hostess looks me up and down before grabbing a menu, her eyes sharp as they silently judge me. “Follow me…” she says hesitantly, like I’m disgusting for even stepping foot in this restaurant. She’s kind of right, though. Right now I'm dressed in a white blouse and coffee stained khakis– far too overdressed for Olive Garden.

I follow the hostess to a back booth, my head on a swivel as I try to find at least one other diner in the restaurant.

“It’s pretty slow today,” the hostess says like she somehow read my mind, setting my menu down on the table, “You’re also the only one here because it’s 11 at night.”

I look up at the italian clock on the wall (???), was it really that late? I’m now 2x as embarrassed to be here.

“Sorry,” I mumble, taking a seat at the booth, “Can I just have some wine? The purple one…….. (idk alcohol)”

“Ya,” the hostess says, “your waiter will be right back with that.” and then she kinda walked away.

That was fine though, I was now alone with my thoughts, my menu, and– a kids menu??? The hostess snuck a KIDS menu into my own?!?

I would have been OUTRAGED if it weren't for the fact I was too tired to argue, instead I hesitantly opened the paper menu, my eyes scanning the white, uncolored pages and the cute pictures littering the booklet. Actually, this was kinda awesome.

“Heres your goober berry sundae,” the waiter said as he set a glass of white and purple wine on the table, placing the bottle next to it, “Do you know what you want 2 order?”

“Ya,” I say, before realizing no I dont “I mean nah”

“Ok”

And Im left alone again. Boy golly this is boring, until an incredibly HOT, SWEATY, MUSCULAR, HALF NAKED (??? does this happen at olive garden) WAITRE strides his sexy hips past me, swinging his fine ass around. I QUICKLY crawl ontop of the table, situating myself to look absolutely irresistible.

“Yoohoo~” I call cutely, waving at the waiter.

The waiter turns around with a bewildered expression, shielding his naked nips from me.

“Sorry, Im kind of indecent rn.”

“Thats cool…” I say back

He flushes like a strawberry and giggles, “I’ll be back!!” before running away on his tippy toes. That was probably the worst thing I've ever seen.

“I gotta get out of here!!” I say quietly, looking around frantically before spotting the SALAD BAR. Of COURSE! I can hide in there!

I book it to the salad bar and do a perfect back spring hand um I jump back there and duck down behind the breadstick bowl–oh hey! Breadsticks!

I wiggle my fingers above the last breadstick like a little menace, “dont mind if I do,” I say with an evil chuckle, that is, until the half naked WAITER COMES BACK!!

I duck down, peaking over the salad bar as the waiter goes to my booth with a handful of dried spaghetti with meatball flowers, its kind of poetic and beautiful, but I cant let myself be whisked away by the shirtless Olive Garden employee. I havent hit rock bottom just yet.

I hear him let out a loud cry before falling to his knees in agony, the other employees rushing over to comfort the half naked man. I gulp, oh gee they were going to try and find me now!

“I was by the door! Theres no way that customer escaped!” the hoestles yells. son of a bitch.

“Lets split up and look for clues” some blonde kif with brown roots and vans on says, oh god im toast!

I remain behind the salad bar, among the discarded lettuce and tomatoes on the floor. Its going to be a long night. My stomach gurgles hungerly and I think back to the juicy, moist, buttery breadstick sitting on top of the salad bar.

God it’ll be worth it to get that thing in my mouth.

I lift my hand and fumble around looking for the breadstick, before my hand touches the wet bread and I kind of moan (but quietly).

“Come to (unspecified parent)” I giggle, lowering the breadstick to my mouth and placing it between my teeth before an “aiiiiiEEEEE!” erupts from the BREADSTICK?!?

“What the?!?” I whisper yell, pulling the breadstick away from my mouth to reveal a beautiful, slender, italian breadstick. His eyes a dark, brown, glowing prettiliy in the salad bar light, and his mustache curled just perfectly at the ends.

It was the most beautiful breadstick ive ever seen.

“S-s-s” I try to say sorry, but the words wouldnt come out, it was hard to think seeing the buttered breadstick covered in a string of my saliva.

“Whatsa the problem?!” He says, wriggling in my hands, “Distrubina my beauty sleep!”

“I’m..” I gulp, was it normal to be so hung up on a breadstick? “I’m sorry, sir…”

The breaststick grins, finally removing itself from my grip and landing on the floor, he hoists himself up and hops around like larry the cucumber from veggietales.

“Mio Tesoro, whata reason do you have behind the salad bar at this hour?” he freezes, eyeing me suspiciously, “Are you a thief?!”

“No! No no…not a thief…”

The breadsticks eyebrows furrow in worry, he hops closer to me, leaving a trail of bread behind him, “It takes an awful mood to be behind here then. Mio pomodoro, tella Bene whats wrong..”

I slump down, my eyes welling up with tears. “I lost my job, and my boyfriend, and now im behind a salad bar at fucking olive garden talking to a sexy breadshit.”

Bene Breadstick freezes at this, his face blushing tomato red at my words, “s-sexy? A me?”

I blush too, my eyes raking over bene breadstick once more. He really was gorgeous in this lighting, coated in a layer of butter and salt, perfectly cooked to give him a slender, crunch to him. My eyes pause at his slightly burnt stump, god I wished he was in my mouth right now.

“Y-yes…” I say, flushing more, “You…you are sexy….”

Bene giggles, hopping onto my lap, “Yes? You think so, mio pomodoro?”

He begins to do a weird shimmy on my lap, I think hes trying to be sexier, but its honestly disturbing. I pick bene up gently, raising him to my face.

“I think youre a lot of things, Bene. Youre beautiful, smart, awesome, and…and I think I’ve fallen for you…” I cant believe what im saying.

Bene grins impossibly bigger, bringing his breadstick face close to mine, “show me you love me, mio pomodoro.”

I nod furiously and lean in, pressing my lips to his own buttery ones. He tastes like salt and butter, leaving my lips coated in a layer of his natural oils. I pull back from the short kiss, licking my lips and moaning at the taste.

Bene smirks, his mustache twitching, “Do you like the taste, Mio Tesoro? You tasted just as-a well.”

I nod helplessly, longing for the touch of another after the brutal breakup with my boyfriend.

Like 4 part 2

[bigbucksbailey]

call me springtrap the way I always come back

[bigbucksbailey]