big-jugged-dinosaur

[big-jugged-dinosaur]

NO im NOT mad that my powers haven't activated AT ALL yet *my telekinesis throws nothing across the room*

[big-jugged-dinosaur]

The fun thing about picking up a cat from the street is that they know a negative amount of rules and will commit entirely new crimes

[big-jugged-dinosaur]

hey guys I don’t have pronouns anymore I got the she/it beat out of me

[big-jugged-dinosaur]

Firefox is a gateway drug to realizing you can do whatever you want with computers. It starts with getting adblock and then you start thinking about what else is possible

[big-jugged-dinosaur]

google photos is so funny. three years since fish in da sink

[big-jugged-dinosaur]

*remembering an old embarrassing thing i did that quite literally has zero effect on my life today to the point where i don’t even interact w the people who saw it happen*

this is my legacy. my curse. the tomes of my history are stained with this regret, and i deserve less than pity.

[big-jugged-dinosaur]

release me you bastard i am not a yummy gyoza dumpling

[big-jugged-dinosaur]

Guy whose wife comes out to him as a lesbian and he just sighs and starts googling ‘estrogen near me’

[big-jugged-dinosaur]

[big-jugged-dinosaur]

how it feels to listen to an album in order

^ me & the artist sharing their beautiful vision for a cohesive work of art

[big-jugged-dinosaur]

[big-jugged-dinosaur]

kid: hey daddy can you read me a bed time story?

dad picking up "doggy goes to school": how about this one?

kid: sorry cant really read that one yet cause first we need to read "doggy rides a bike" and then "doggy vs cat: last hope"

dad: im sorry i dont think ive heard of that one

kid: yea it was during the dark era of doggy books but since then cat has become more of anti hero and helps doggy sometimes

dad: oh didnt even know that

kid: thats pretty fucking embarrasing father. i recommend you read "Kitty: origins" and "Doggy: year 1" to catch yourself up with the canon and then we can really get started on the bedtime stories tomorrow night

[big-jugged-dinosaur]

is there actually anything more irritating than depression apathy… like why am i sitting here arguing with myself “i kinda wanna play a video game but i kinda don’t because, what, i’m just gonna boot up a game and play it and have fun and close it when i’m done? get real”

[big-jugged-dinosaur]

why did they make this world so hard for autistic weirdos

[big-jugged-dinosaur]

[big-jugged-dinosaur]

[big-jugged-dinosaur]

lying down for 50 minutes to imagine in real time the experience of walking to trader joes and buying a single pea and walking back home and getting out a cutting board and a knife and skinning and chopping one pea and sprinkling it into a tank with one fish in it